[科幻]宿主-第147节

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slide　between　her　fingers。　“This　body　didn’t　belong　to　Pet；　but　there’s　nobody　else　to　claim　it。　We　waited　
to　make　sure；　Wanda。　We　tried　to　wake　her　up　almost　as　long　as　we　tried　with　Jodi。”

　“Jodi？　What　happened　to　Jodi？”　I　chirped；　my　little　voice　going　higher；　like　a　bird’s；　with　anxiety。　I　
struggled　to　get　up；　and　Ian　pulled　me—it　took　no　effort；　no　strength　to　move　my　tiny　new　body—into　a　
sitting　position　with　his　arm　supporting　me。　I　could　see　all　the　faces　then。

　Doc；　no　more　tears　in　his　eyes。　Jeb；　peeking　around　Doc；　his　expression　satisfied　and　burning　with　
curiosity　at　the　same　time。　Next；　a　woman　I　didn’t　recognize　for　a　second　because　her　face　was　more　
animated　than　I’d　ever　seen　it；　and　I　hadn’t　seen　it　much　anyway—Mandy；　the　former　Healer。　Closer　to　
me；　Jamie；　with　his　bright；　excited　smile；　Melanie　beside　him；　and　Jared　behind　her；　his　hands　around　her　
waist。　I　knew　that　his　hands　would　never　feel　right　unless　they　were　touching　her　body—my　

　

　It　made　me　sorry　to　realize　that　I　still　loved　Jared。　I　wasn’t　free　of　that；　wasn’t　free　of　jealousy　for　the　
body　he　loved。　My　glance　flickered　back　to　Mel。　I　saw　the　rueful　twist　of　the　mouth　that　used　to　be　mine；　
and　knew　she　understood。

　I　continued　quickly　around　the　cluster　of　faces　circling　my　bed；　while　Doc；　after　a　pause；　answered　my　
question。　
Trudy　and　Geoffrey；　Heath；　Paige　and　Andy。　Brandt；　even…


　“Jodi　didn’t　respond。　We　kept　trying　as　long　as　we　could。”　
Was　Jodi　gone；　then？　I　wondered；　my　inexperienced　heart　throbbing。　I　was　giving　the　poor　frail　thing　
such　a　rough　awakening。


　Heidi　and　Lily；　Lily　smiling　a　pained　little　smile—none　the　less　sincere　for　the　pain…　
“We　were　able　to　keep　her　hydrated；　but　we　had　no　way　to　feed　her。　We　were　worried　about　
atrophy—her　muscles；　her　brain…”　
While　my　new　heart　ached　harder　than　it　had　ever　ached—ached　for　a　woman　I’d　never　known—my　


eyes　continued　around　the　circle　and　then　froze。　
Jodi；　clinging　to　Kyle’s　side；　stared　back　at　me。　
She　smiled　tentatively；　and　suddenly　I　recognized　her。　
“Sunny！”　
“I　got　to　stay；”　she　said；　not　quite　smug　but　almost。　“Just　like　you。”　She　glanced　at　Kyle’s　face—which　

was　more　stoic　than　I　was　used　to　seeing　it—and　her　voice　turned　sad。　“I’m　trying；　though。　I　am　looking　
for　her。　I　will　keep　looking。”　
“Kyle　had　us　put　Sunny　back　when　it　looked　like　we　would　lose　Jodi；”　Doc　continued　quietly。


　I　stared　at　Sunny　and　Kyle　for　a　moment；　stunned；　and　then　finished　the　circle。　
Ian　was　watching　me　with　a　strange　bination　of　joy　and　nervousness。　His　face　was　higher　than　it　
should　have　been；　bigger　than　it　used　to　be。　But　his　eyes　were　still　the　blue　I　remembered。　The　anchor　
that　held　me　to　this　planet。


　“You　okay　in　there？”　he　asked。


　“I…　I　don’t　know；”　I　admitted。　“This　feels　very…　weird。　Every　bit　as　weird　as　switching　species。　So　
much　weirder　than　I　would　have　thought。　I…　I　don’t　know。”　
My　heart　fluttered　again；　looking　into　those　eyes；　and　this　was　no　memory　of　another　lifetime’s　love。　My　


mouth　felt　dry；　and　my　stomach　quivered。　The　place　where　his　arm　touched　my　back　felt　more　alive　than　


　

Kyle　had　shuffled　closer；　a　grin　spreading　across　his　face。　Sunny’s　smile　was　the　smile　of　a　
coconspirator。　
How　much　No　Pain　had　Doc　given　me？　Everything　was　glowing。　
Ian　brushed　the　cloud　of　golden　hair　back　from　my　face　and　laid　his　hand　on　my　cheek。　His　hand　was　so　


big　just　the　palm　covered　from　my　jaw　to　my　forehead；　the　contact　sent　a　jolt　of　electricity　through　my　


silvery　skin。　It　tingled　after　that　first　jolt；　and　the　pit　of　my　stomach　tingled　along　with　it。　
I　could　feel　a　warm　flush　pinking　my　cheeks。　My　heart　had　never　been　broken　before；　but　it　had　also　
never　flown。　It　made　me　shy；　I　had　a　hard　time　finding　my　voice。


　“I　suppose　I　could　do　that；”　I　whispered。　“If　it　makes　you　happy。”　
“That’s　not　good　enough；　actually；”　Ian　disagreed。　“It　has　to　makeyou　happy；　too。”　
I　could　only　meet　his　gaze　for　a　few　seconds　at　a　time；　the　shyness；　so　new　and　confusing　to　me；　had　my　


eyes　dropping　to　my　lap　again　and　again。　
“I…　think　it　might；”　I　agreed。　“I　think　it　might　make　me　very；　very　happy。”　
Happy　and　sad；　elated　and　miserable；　secure　and　afraid；　loved　and　denied；　patient　and　angry；　peaceful　


and　wild；　plete　and　empty…　all　of　it。　I　would　feel　everything。　It　would　all　be　mine。　
Ian　coaxed　my　face　up　until　I　looked　him　in　the　eyes；　my　cheeks　flushing　darker。　
“Then　you　will　stay。”　
He　kissed　me；　right　in　front　of　everyone；　but　I　forgot　the　audience　quickly。　This　was　easy　and　right；　no　


division；　no　confusion；　no　objection；　just　Ian　and　me；　the　molten　rock　moving　through　this　new　body；　
melding　it　into　the　pact。　
“I　will　stay；”　I　agreed。　
And　my　tenth　life　began。


　EPILOGUE


　Continued

　Life　and　love　went　on　in　the　last　human　outpost　on　the　planet　Earth；　but　things　did　not　stay　exactly　the　
same。

　I　was　not　the　same。　

　

　I’d　inherited　a　great　deal　of　grief　for　Cloud　Spinner。　I　missed　the　mother　I’d　never　known　and　mourned　
for　her　suffering　now。　Perhaps　there　could　be　no　joy　on　this　planet　without　an　equal　weight　of　pain　to　
balance　it　out　on　some　unknown　scale。

　I’d　inherited　unexpected　limitations。　I　was　used　to　a　body　that　was　strong　and　fast　and　tall—a　body　that　
could　run　for　miles；　go　without　food　and　water；　lift　heavy　weights；　and　reach　high　shelves。　This　body　was　
weak—and　not　just　physically。　This　body　seized　up　with　crippling　shyness　every　time　I　was　unsure　of　
myself；　which　seemed　to　be　often　these　days。

　I’d　inherited　a　different　role　in　the　human　munity。　People　carried　things　for　me　now　and　let　me　pass　
first　into　a　room。　They　gave　me　the　easiest　chores　and　then；　half　the　time；　took　the　work　right　out　of　my　
hands　anyway。　Worse　than　that；　I　needed　the　help。　My　muscles　were　soft　and　not　used　to　labor。　I　tired　
easily；　and　my　attempts　to　hide　that　fooled　no　one。　I　probably　couldn’t　have　run　a　mile　without　stopping。

　There　was　more　to　this　easy　treatment　than　just　my　physical　weakness；　though。　I　was　used　to　a　pretty　
face；　but　one　that　people　were　able　to　look　at　with　fear；　mistrust；　even　hatred。　My　new　face　defied　such　
emotions。

　People　touched　my　cheeks　often；　or　put　their　fingers　under　my　chin；　holding　my　face　up　to　see　it　better。　I　
was　frequently　patted　on　my　head　（which　was　in　easy　reach；　since　I　was　shorter　than　everyone　but　the　
children）；　and　my　hair　was　stroked　so　regularly　that　I　stopped　noticing　when　it　happened。　Those　who　had　
never　accepted　me　before　did　this　as　often　as　my　friends。　Even　Lucina　put　up　only　a　token　resistance　
when　her　children　began　following　me　like　two　adoring　puppies。　Freedom；　in　particular；　crawled　onto　my　
lap　at　every　opportunity；　burrowing　his　face　in　my　hair。　Isaiah　was　too　big　for　such　displays　of　affection；　
but　he　liked　to　hold　my　hand—just　the　same　size　as　his—while　chattering　excitedly　with　me　about　
Spiders　and　Dragons；　soccer　and　raids。　The　children　still　wouldn’t　go　anywhere　near　Melanie；　their　
mother　had　frightened　them　too　thoroughly　before　for　her　reassurances　to　change　things　now。

　Even　Maggie　and　Sharon；　though　they　still　tried　not　to　look　at　me；　could　not　maintain　their　former　rigidity　
in　my　presence。

　My　body　was　not　the　only　change。　The　monsoons　came　late　to　the　desert；　and　I　was　glad。

　For　one　thing；　I’d　never　smelled　the　rain　on　the　creosotes　before—I　could　only　vaguely　remember　it　
from　my　memories　of　Melanie’s　memories；　a　very　dim　trail　of　recall　indeed—and　now　the　scent　washed　
out　the　musty　caves；　left　them　smelling　fresh　and　almost　spicy。　The　scent　clung　to　my　hair　and　followed　
me　everywhere。　I　smelled　it　in　my　dreams。

　Also；　Petals　Open　to　the　Moon　had　lived　in　Seattle　all　her　life；　and　the　unbroken　streak　of　blue　skies　and　
blistering　heat　was　as　bewildering—almostnumbing　—to　my　system　as　the　dark　press　of　heavy　overcast　
skies　would　have　been　to　any　of　these　desert　dwellers。　The　clouds　were　exciting；　a　change　from　the　
bland；　featureless　pale　blue。　They　had　depth　and　movement。　They　made　pictures　in　the　sky。

　There　was　a　great　deal　of　reshuffling　to　be　done　in　Jeb’s　caves；　and　the　move　to　the　big　game　
room—now　the　munal　sleeping　quarters—was　good　preparation　for　more　permanent　arrangements　
to　follow。　

　

　When　the　rains　ended；　Jamie　would　move　into　a　free　corner　in　Brandt　and　Aaron’s　cave。　Melanie　and　
Jared　had　kicked　Jamie　out　of　their　room　and　into　Ian’s　before　I’d　been　reborn　in　Pet’s　body；　Jamie　
wasn’t　so　young　that　they’d　needed　to　give　him　any　excuse。

　Kyle　was　working　on　widening　the　small　crevice　that　had　been　Walter’s　sleeping　space　so　that　it　would　
be　ready　when　the　desert　was　dry　again。　It　really　wasn’t　big　enough　for　more　than　one；　and　Kyle　would　
not　be　staying　there　alone。

　At　night　in　the　game　room；　Sunny　slept　curled　into　a　ball　against　Kyle’s　chest；　like　a　kitten　who　was　
friends　with　a　big　dog—a　rottweiler　whom　she　trusted　implicitly。　Sunny　wasalways　with　Kyle。　I　couldn’t　
remember　ever　seeing　them　unattached　since　I’d　opened　these　silver　gray　eyes　for　the　fi