[科幻]宿主-第142节
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”
“No。 Not even you yourself; Wanderer。”
He kissed me again; his mouth rougher with the return of the anger。 His hand curled into a fist around my
hair; and he pulled my face an inch away from his。
“Good or bad?” he demanded。
“Good。”
“That’s what I thought。” And his voice was a growl。
He kissed me again。 His arms were so tight around my ribs; his mouth so fierce against mine; that I was
soon dizzy and gasping for air。 He loosened his arms a little then and let his lips slide to my ear。
“Let’s go。”
“Where? Where are we going?” I wasn’t going anywhere; I knew that。 And yet how my heart pounded
when I thought of going away; somewhere; anywhere; with Ian。 My Ian。 He was mine; the way Jared
never would be。 The way this body could never be his。
“Don’t give me any trouble about this; Wanderer。 I’m half out of my mind。” He pulled us both to our
feet。
“Where?” I insisted。
“You’re going down the eastern tunnel; past the field; to the end。”
“The game room?”
“Yes。 And then you are going to wait there until I get the rest of them。”
“Why?” His words sounded crazy to me。 Did he want to play a game? To ease the tension again?
“Because thiswill be discussed。 I’m calling a tribunal; Wanderer; and you are going to abide by our
decision。”
CHAPTER 57
pleted
It was a small tribunal this time; not like the trial for Kyle’s life。 Ian brought only Jeb; Doc; and Jared。 He
knew without having to be told that Jamie must not be allowed anywhere near these proceedings。
Melanie would have to give that goodbye for me。 I couldn’t face that; not with Jamie。 I didn’t care if it
was cowardly of me。 I wouldn’t do it。
Just one blue lamp; one dim circle of light on the stone floor。 We sat on the edge of the ring of light; I
was alone; the four men facing me。 Jeb had even brought his gun—as if it were a gavel and would make
waste of my small store of time。 I was worried about more important things。
“Which one?” he responded in a weary voice。
I stared at him for a few seconds; and then my eyes grew wide。 “Sunny’s gone? Already?”
“Kyle thought it was cruel to make her suffer longer。 She was… unhappy。”
“I wish I could have said goodbye;” I murmured to myself。 “And good luck。 How is Jodi?”
“No response yet。”
“The Healer’s body?”
“Trudy took her away。 I think they went to get her something to eat。 They’re working on finding a
temporary name she likes; so we can call her something besidesthe body。 ” He smiled wryly。
“She’ll be fine。 I’m sure she will;” I said; trying to believe the words。 “And Jodi; too。 It will all work
out。”
No one called me on my lies。 They knew I was saying this for myself。
Doc sighed。 “I don’t want to be away from Jodi long。 She might need something。”
“Right;” I agreed。 “Let’s get this over with。” The quicker the better。 Because it didn’t matter what was
said here; Doc had agreed to my terms。 And yet there was some stupid part of me that hoped… hoped
that there was a solution that would make everything perfect and let me stay with Ian and Mel with Jared
in a way that absolutely no one would suffer for。 Best to crush that impossible hope quickly。
“Okay;” Jeb said。 “Wanda; what’s your side?”
“I’m giving Melanie back。” Firm; short—no reasons to argue against。
“Ian; what’s yours?”
“We need Wanda here。”
Firm; short—he was copying me。
Jeb nodded to himself。 “That’s a tricky one。 Wanda; why should I agree with you?”
“If it were you; you’d want your body back。 You can’t deny Melanie that。”
“Ian?” Jeb asked。
He’s right。
Nobody asked you。
Jared spoke up。 “Wanda; what does Mel say?”
Ha;Mel said。
I stared into Jared’s eyes; and the strangest thing happened。 All the melting and melding I had just been
through was shoved aside; into the smallest part of my body; the little corner that I took up physically。
The rest of me yearned toward Jared with the same desperate; half…crazed hunger I’d felt since the first
time I’d seen him here。 This body barely belonged to me or to Melanie—it belonged to him。
There really wasn’t room enough for the two of us in here。
“Melanie wants her body back。 She wants her life back。”
Liar。 Tell them the truth。
No。
“Liar;” Ian said。 “I can see you arguing with her。 I’ll bet she agrees with me。 She’s a good person。 She
knows how much we need you。”
“Mel knows everything I know。 She’ll be able to help you。 And the Healer’s host。 She knows more than
I ever did。 You’ll be fine。 You were fine before I was here。 You’ll survive; just like before。”
Jeb blew out a puff of air; frowning。 “I don’t know; Wanda。 Ian’s got a point。”
I glared at the old man and saw that Jared was doing the same。 I looked away from that standoff to level
a grim glance at Doc。
Doc met my eyes; and his face clenched with pain。 He understood the reminder I was giving him。 He’d
promised。 This tribunal didn’t overrule that。
Ian was watching Jared—he didn’t see our silent exchange。
“Jeb;” Jared protested。 “There’s only one decision here。 You know that。”
“Is there; kid? Seems to me there’s a whole barrel of ’em。”
“That’s Melanie’s body!”
“And Wanda’s; too。”
Jared choked on his response and had to start over。 “You can’t leave Mel trapped in there—it’s like
murder; Jeb。”
Wanda; Jared? And the rest of us; if you take her away?”
“You don’t care about the rest of anybody! You just want to keep Wanda at Melanie’s
expense—nothing else matters to you。”
“And you want to have Melanie at Wanda’s expense—nothing else matters toyou! So; with those things
being equal; it es down to what’s best for everyone else。”
“No! It es down to what Melanie wants! That’s her body!”
They were both crouched halfway between sitting and standing now; their fists clenched and their faces
twisted with rage。
“Cool it; boys! Cool it right now;” Jeb ordered。 “This is a tribunal; and we’re going to stay calm and
keep our heads。 We’ve got to think about every side。”
“Jeb —” Jared began。
“Shut up。” Jeb chewed on his lip for a while。 “Okay; here’s how I see it。 Wanda’s right —”
Ian lurched to his feet。
“Hold it! Sit yourself back down。 Let me finish。”
Jeb waited until Ian; the tendons standing out in his taut neck; stiffly returned to a seated position。
“Wanda is right;” Jeb said。 “Mel needs her body back。But; ” he added quickly when Ian tensed again;
“but I don’t agree with the rest; Wanda。 I think we need you pretty bad; kid。 We got Seekers out there
lookin’ for us; and you can talk right to ’em。 The rest of us can’t do that。 You save lives。 I got to think
about the welfare of my household。”
Jared spoke through his teeth。 “So we get her another body。 Obviously。”
Doc’s crumpled face lifted。 Jeb’s white caterpillar eyebrows touched his hairline。 Ian’s eyes widened
and his lips pursed。 He stared at me; considering。…
“No!No! ” I shook my head frantically。
“Why not; Wanda?” Jeb asked。 “Don’t sound like a half…bad idea to me。”
I swallowed and took a deep breath so my voice wouldn’t turn hysterical。 “Jeb。 Listen to me carefully;
Jeb。 I amtired of being a parasite。 Can you understand that? Do you think I want to go into another body
and have this start all over again? Do I have to feel guilty forever for taking someone’s life away from
them? Do I have to have someone else hate me? I’m barely a soul anymore—I love you brutish humans
too much。 It’s wrong for me to be here; and Ihate feeling that。”
I took another breath and spoke through the tears that were falling now。 “And what if things change?
What if you put me in some…one else; steal another life; and it goes wrong? What if that body pulls me
after some other love; back to the souls? What if you can’t trust me anymore? What if I betray you next
arms around me。 He dried my tears against his chest。
“It’s okay; honey。 You don’t have to be anyone else。 Nothing’s going to change。”
“Hold on; Wanda;” Jeb said; his shrewd eyes suddenly sharper。 “How does going to one of those other
planets help you? You’ll still be a parasite; kid。”
Ian flinched around me at the harsh word。
And I flinched also; because Jeb was too insightful; as always。
They waited for my answer; all but Doc; who knew what the real answer was。 The one I wouldn’t give。
I tried to say only true things。 “It’s different on other planets; Jeb。 There isn’t any resistance。 And the
hosts themselves are different。 They aren’t as individualized as humans; their emotions are so much
milder。 It doesn’t feel like stealing a life。 Not like it feels here。 No one will hate me。 And I’d be too far
away to hurt you。 You’d be safer…”
The last part sounded too much like the lie it was; so I let my voice trail off。
Jeb stared at me through narrowed eyes; and I looked away。
I tried not to look at Doc; but I couldn’t help one brief glance; to make sure he understood。 His eyes
locked on mine; clearly mi