tg.stone of tears-第129节

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ard。’
　
　He　shrugged　as　he　pulled　the　grass　off　his　finger。　‘Well；　it　was　the　least　I　could　do　to　make　up　for　what　I　did。’
　
　‘For　what　you　did？’
　
　Richard　occupied　himself　with　carefully　rolling　his　pants　back　down。　‘Well；　before　I　saved　you；　I　kind　of　killed　you。’
　
　She　leaned　closer。　‘You　did　what？’
　
　‘You　were　hurting　me。　With　your　magic。　With　the　collar。’
　
　Tm　sorry；　Richard。　I　was　in　the　spell　and　didn’t　realize　what　I　was　doing。　I　didn’t　intend　to　hurt　you。’
　
　He　shook　his　head。　‘Not　then。　Before。　In　the　white　tower。’
　
　She　leaned　even　closer　and　gritted　her　teeth。　‘You　went　into　a　tower？　Are　you　mad？　I　told　you　what　those　towers　are！　How　could　you　be　so　。。。’
　
　‘Sister。　I　had　no　choice。’
　
　‘We　have　already　discussed　choice。　I　told　you　how　dangerous　those　towers　are。　I　told　you　to　stay　away　from　them！’
　
　‘Look；　there　was　lightning　all　around。　It　was　trying　to　strike　me。　I　。。。　well；　I　didn’t　know　what　else　to　do。　So　I　dove　through　an　archway；　into　the　tower；　for　protection。’
　
　‘Can’t　you　follow　the　simplest　instructions？　Must　you　always　act　a　child？’
　
　Richard　looked　up　from　under　his　eyebrows。　‘Those　were　your　exact　words。　You　came　into　the　tower。　I　was　sure　it　was　you。　You　were　angry　with　me；　much　as　you　are　now；　and　you　used　those　exact　words。’
　
　He　gritted　his　teeth　as　he　put　a　finger　to　the　collar　at　his　neck。　‘You　used　this。　You　used　it　to　throw　me　against　the　wall；　and　pin　me　there　with　it。　Can　this　collar　do　that；　Sister？’
　
　She　sat　much　quieter。　‘Yes。　We　don’t　have　the　power　of　a　wizard；　the　male　Han。　The　collar　amplifies　our　power；　so　we　may　be　stronger　than　the　one　wearing　it。　So　we　can　teach　them。’
　
　His　voice　was　deep　with　anger。　‘Then　you　used　it　to　give　me　pain；　like　the　pain　you　did　for　real；　when　you　were　in　the　spell。　Only　it　was　stronger；　and　went　on　and　on。　Can　the　collar　do　that；　too；　Sister？’
　
　She　pulled　a　clump　of　grass　to　her　side　and　began　cleaning　her　hands　with　it；　avoiding　his　glare。　‘Yes。　But　that　was　a　vision；　Richard。　I　wasn’t　really　doing　it。’
　
　‘I　told　you　to　stop　hurting　me　or　I　would　put　a　stop　to　it。　You　wouldn’t　stop；　so　I　called　the　sword’s　magic　and　broke　the　bond　of　the　power　holding　me。　You　were　furious。　You　said　that　I　had　made　my　last　mistake。　You　said　you　were　going　to　kill　me　for　fighting　you。　You　were　going　to　kill　me；　Sister。’
　
　‘I’m　sorry；　Richard；’　she　whispered　as　she　looked　up；　‘that　you　had　to　suffer　that。’　Her　voice　regained　some　of　its　strength。　‘So；　what　did　you　do　to　me　。。。　to　the　vision　of　me？’　He　leaned　over　and　touched　the　edge　of　his　first　finger　to　the　side　of　her　shoulder。　‘I　cut　you　in　half　with　the　sword。　Right　here。’
　
　Her　hands　stopped；　she　was　stone　still。　Some　of　the　color　had　left　her　face。　Finally；　she　regained　her　posure。
　
　Richard　picked　at　the　clump　of　grass　by　his　foot　again。　‘I　didn’t　want　to　do　it；　but　I　was　positive　you　were　going　to　kill　me。’
　
　She　tossed　the　grass　aside。　‘I’m　sure　you　were；　Richard。　But　that　was　only　a　vision。　If　it　were　real；　it　wouldn’t　have　turned　out　that　way。　You　would　not　have　been　able　to　do　what　you　did。’
　
　‘Who　are　you　trying　to　convince；　Sister？　Me；　or　yourself？’
　
　She　met　his　glare。　The　things　you　saw　were　not　as　they　are　in　the　real　world。　They　were　simply　illusions。’
　
　Richard　let　it　drop。　He　turned　the　stick　with　the　rabbit　to　cook　the　other　side；　and　slid　the　iron　plate　with　the　bannock　to　the　side　of　the　fire　to　let　it　cool。
　
　‘Anyway；　when　I　saw　you　again；　I　didn’t　know　if　you　were　a　vision；　or　real；　but　I　truly　hoped　you　were　alive。　I　didn’t　want　to　kill　you。’　He　looked　up　and　smiled。　‘Besides；　I　promised　you　that　you　would　get　through　the　Valley　of　the　Lost。’
　
　She　nodded。　‘Yes；　you　did。　More　desire　than　wisdom　indeed。’
　
　‘Sister；　I　was　only　doing　what　I　could　think　of　to　survive。　To　help　you　survive；　too。’
　
　She　sighed　and　shook　her　head。　‘Richard；　I　know　you’re　trying　to　do　your　best；　but　you　must　understand　that　what　you　think　is　best　is　not　necessarily　right。　You’re　calling　your　Han　without　knowing　what　you’re　doing；　or　even　realizing　you’re　doing　it。　In　so　doing；　you　tempt　danger　you　can’t　fathom。’
　
　‘How　was　I　using　my　Han？’
　
　‘Wizards　make　promises　that　their　Han　strives　to　keep。　You　promised　me　you　would　help　me　through　the　valley　…save　me。　But　in　so　doing；　you　have　invoked　prophecy。’
　
　Richard　frowned。　‘I’ve　given　no　prophecy。’
　
　‘Not　only　given　it；　but　used　your　Han　without　realizing　it；　used　prophecy　without　knowing　its　form；　to　do　something　in　the　past　to　aid　you　in　the　future。’
　
　‘What　are　you　talking　about？’
　
　‘You　destroyed　the　horses’　bits。’
　
　‘I　told　you　at　the　time　why　I　did　that。　They’re　cruel。’
　
　She　shook　her　head。　That’s　what　I’m　talking　about。　You　think　you　did　it　for　one　reason；　but　it　served　another　purpose。　Your　conscious　mind　is　simply　seeking　to　rationalize　what　your　Han　is　doing。　When　we　were　running　from　the　valley；　I　didn’t　believe　in　what　you　were　doing；　and　I　tried　to　turn　my　horse。　Because　he　didn’t　have　a　bit；　I　was　unable　to。’
　
　‘So　what？’
　
　She　leaned　closer。　‘Destroying　the　bits　in　the　past　satisfied　a　need　of　a　promise　in　the　future。　That　was　using　prophecy。　You’re　swinging　the　axe　blindly。’
　
　Richard　gave　her　a　skeptical　expression。　‘That’s　a　stretch；　Sister。　Even　for　you。’
　
　‘I　know　how　the　gift　works；　Richard。’
　
　Richard　thought　about　it；　and　finally　decided　he　didn’t　believe　her；　but　decided；　too；　that　he　didn’t　want　to　argue　with　her　about　it。　There　were　other　things　he　wanted　to　know。
　
　‘Is　your　little　book　full？　I　haven’t　seen　you　writing　in　it。’
　
　‘I　sent　a　message　yesterday；　that　we　have　e　through　the　valley。　I　have　nothing　else　to　write；　that’s　all。　The　book　is　magic。　With　magic；　we　erase　old　messages。　I　erased　all　but　two　pages；　but　with　what　I　added　yesterday；　there　are　now　three　pages　full。’
　
　Richard　tore　off　a　corner　of　the　hot　bannock。　‘Who　is　the　Prelate？’
　
　‘She　charges　the　Sisters　of　the　Light。　She　is　。。。’　Her　eyes　narrowed。　‘I’ve　never　mentioned　her。　How　do　you　know　of　her？’
　
　Richard　licked　the　crumbs　from　his　fingers。　‘I　read　it　in　your　book。’
　
　Her　hand　flew　to　her　belt；　groping　for　the　book。　It　was　there；　where　it　always　was。　‘You’ve　read　my　private　writing！　You　have　no　right！　I　will　。。。’
　
　‘You　were　dead　at　the　time。’　Her　mouth　snapped　shut；　and　he　went　on。　‘When　I　killed　you；　or　the　illusion　of　you；　the　book　fell　on　the　ground。　I　read　it。’
　
　The　tension　left　her　muscles。　‘Oh。　Well；　that’s　simply　part　of　the　illusion。　I　told　you；　it’s　not　as　things　are　in　life。’
　
　Richard　tore　off　another　corner　of　bannock。　‘There　were　only　two　pages　with　writing；　just　as　the　real　book。　Not　until　after　we　were　through　the　valley　did　you　add　the　third。　Back　then；　there　were　only　two。’
　
　She　watched　him　eating　the　bannock。　‘Illusion；　Richard。’
　
　He　looked　up。　‘One　page　said：　‘I　am　the　Sister　in　charge　of　this　boy。　These　directives　are　beyond　reason　if　not　absurd。　I　demand　to　know　the　meaning　of　these　instructions。　I　demand　to　know　upon　whose　authority　they　are　given。　…Yours　in　the　service　of　the　Light；　Sister　Verna　Sauventreen。’　The　second　page　said：　‘You　will　do　as　you　are　instructed；　or　suffer　the　consequences。　Do　not　presume　to　question　the　orders　of　the　palace　again。　…　In　my　own　hand；　The　Prelate。’’
　
　The　Sister’s　face　had　drained　of　color。　‘You　had　no　business　reading　something　belonging　to　another。’
　
　‘As　I　said；　you　were　dead　at　the　time。　What　instructions　did　they　give　you　about　me　that　made　you　so　angry？’
　
　The　color　came　back　to　her　face　in　a　rush。　‘It　has　to　do　with　a　technicality。　It’s　nothing　you　would　understand；　and　anyway；　it　is　not　your　business。’
　
　Richard　lifted　an　eyebrow。　‘Not　my　business？　You　claim　you　are　only　trying　to　help　me；　yet　you’ve　taken　me　prisoner；　and　you　say　it’s　not　my　business？　I　have　this　collar　around　my　neck；　and　with　it　you　can　hurt　me；　perhaps　kill　me；　and　you　say　it　is　not　my　business？　You　tell　me　I　must　do　the　things　you　say；　that　I　must　take　them　on　faith；　even　though　that　faith　is　shaken　with　every　new　thing　I　discover；　yet　it’s　not　my　business？　You　tell　me　that　the　illusion　I　saw　was　not　as　things　are　in　the　real　world；　yet　I　find　it　was；　and　you　tell　me　it’s　not　my　business？’
　
　Sister　Verna　was　silent。　She　watched　him　without　emotion。　Watched　him；　he　thought；　as　if　he　were　a　bug　in　a　box。
　
　‘Sister　Verna；　will　you　tell　me　one　thing　I’ve　been　wondering　about？’
　
　‘If　I　can。’
　
　He　pulled　his　legs　up　tighter　under　himself。　He　tried　to　keep　any　hostility　out　of　his　tone。　‘When　you　first　saw　me；　you　were　surprised　that　I　was　grown。　You　thought　that　I　would　be　young。’
　
　That’s　right。　We　have　ones　at　the　palace　who　can　sense　one　born　with　the　gift。　But　you　were　hidden　from　us；　so　it　took　us　a　very　long　time　to　find　you。’
　
　‘But　you　told　me　just　the　other　day　that　you　had　spent　over　half　your　life　away　from　the　palace；　searching　for　me。　If　you’ve　spent　twenty