战争与和平(下)-第14节

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e。
Pierre　was　watched　with　even　more　rapturous　gladness　by　the　boy　with　the　slender　neck　in　the　laydown　collar；　who　had　been　forgotten　by　all　of　them。　Every　word　Pierre　uttered　set　his　heart　in　a　glow；　and　his　fingers　moving　nervously；　he　unconsciously　picked　up　and　broke　to　pieces　the　sticks　of　sealing…wax　and　pens　on　his　uncle’s　table。
‘‘It’s　not　at　all　what　you　imagine；　but　just　such　a　society　as　the　German　Tugend…bund　is　what　I　propose。’’
‘‘Well；　my　boy；　that’s　all　very　well　for　the　sausage…eaters—a　Tugend…bund—but　I　don’t　understand　it；　and　I　can’t　even　pronounce　it；’’　Denisov’s　loud；　positive　voice　broke　in。　‘‘Everything’s　rotten　and　corrupt；　I　agree　there；　only　your　Tugend…bund　I　don’t　understand；　but　if　one　is　dissatisfied；—a　bunt　now’’　（i。e。　riot　or　mutiny）；　‘‘je　suis　votre　homme！’’
Pierre　smiled；　Natasha　laughed；　but　Nikolay　knitted　his　brows　more　than　ever；　and　began　arguing　with　Pierre　that　no　revolution　was　to　be　expected；　and　that　the　danger　he　talked　of　had　no　existence　but　in　his　imagination。　Pierre　maintained　his　view；　and　as　his　intellectual　faculties　were　keener　and　more　resourceful；　Nikolay　was　soon　at　a　loss　for　an　answer。　This　angered　him　still　more；　as　in　his　heart　he　felt　convinced；　not　by　reasoning；　but　by　something　stronger　than　reasoning；　of　the　indubitable　truth　of　his　own　view。
‘‘Well；　let　me　tell　you；’’　he　said；　getting　up　and　nervously　setting　his　pipe　down　in　the　corner；　and　then　flinging　it　away；　‘‘I　can’t　prove　it　you。　You　say　everything　is　all　rotten；　and　there　will　be　a　revolution；　I　don’t　see　it；　but　you　say　our　oath　of　allegiance　is　a　conditional　thing；　and　as　to　that；　let　me　tell　you；　you　are　my　greatest　friend；　you　know　that；　but　you　make　a　secret　society；　you　begin　working　against　the　government—whatever　it　may　be；　I　know　it’s　my　duty　to　obey　it。　And　if　Araktcheev　bids　me　march　against　you　with　a　squadron　and　cut　you　down；　I　shan’t　hesitate　for　a　second；　I　shall　go。　And　then　you　may　think　what　you　like　about　it。’’
An　awkward　silence　followed　these　words。　Natasha　was　the　first　to　break　it　by　defending　her　husband　and　attacking　her　brother。　Her　defence　was　weak　and　clumsy。　But　it　attained　her　object。　The　conversation　was　taken　up　again；　and　no　longer　in　the　unpleasantly　hostile　tone　in　which　Nikolay’s　last　words　had　been　spoken。
When　they　all　got　up　to　go　in　to　supper；　Nikolinka　Bolkonsky　went　up　to　Pierre　with　a　pale　face　and　shining；　luminous　eyes。
‘‘Uncle　Pierre…you…no…If　papa　had　been　alive…he　would　have　been　on　your　side？’’　he　asked。
Pierre　saw　in　a　flash　all　the　original；　complicated　and　violent　travail　of　thought　and　feeling　that　must　have　been　going　on　independently　in　this　boy　during　the　conversation。　And　recalling　all　he　had　been　saying；　he　felt　vexed　that　the　boy　should　have　heard　him。　He　had　to　answer　him；　however。
‘‘I　believe　he　would；’’　he　said　reluctantly；　and　he　went　out　of　the　study。
The　boy　looked　down；　and　then　for　the　first　time　seemed　to　become　aware　of　the　havoc　he　had　been　making　on　the　writing…table。　He　flushed　hotly　and　went　up　to　Nikolay。
‘‘Uncle；　forgive　me；　I　did　it—not　on　purpose；’’　he　said；　pointing　to　the　fragments　of　sealing…wax　and　pens。
Nikolay　bounded　up　angrily。　‘‘Very　good；　very　good；’’　he　said；　throwing　the　bits　of　pens　and　sealing…wax　under　the　table。　And　with　evident　effort　mastering　his　fury；　he　turned　away　from　him。
‘‘You　ought　not　to　have　been　here　at　all；’’　he　said。


Chapter　15
AT　SUPPER　no　more　was　said　of　politics　and　societies；　but　a　conversation　turned　on　the　subject　most　agreeable　to　Nikolay—reminiscences　of　1812。　Denisov　started　the　talk；　and　Pierre　was　particularly　cordial　and　amusing。　And　the　party　broke　up　on　the　friendliest　terms。　Nikolay；　after　undressing　in　his　study；　and　giving　instructions　to　his　steward；　who　was　awaiting　him；　went　in　his　dressing…gown　to　his　bedroom；　and　found　his　wife　still　at　her　writing…table：　she　was　writing　something。
‘‘What　are　you　writing；　Marie？’’　asked　Nikolay。　Countess　Marya　flushed。　She　was　afraid　that　what　she　was　writing　would　not　be　understood　and　approved　by　her　husband。
She　would　have　liked　to　conceal　what　she　was　writing　from　him；　and　at　the　same　time；　she　was　glad　he　had　caught　her；　and　she　had　to　tell　him。
‘‘It’s　my　diary；　Nikolay；’’　she　said；　handing　him　a　blue　note…book；　filled　with　her　firm；　bold　handwriting。
‘‘A　diary！’’　…　said　Nikolay　with　a　shade　of　mockery；　and　he　took　the　note…book。　He　saw　written　in　French：
‘‘December　4。—Andryusha’’　（their　elder　boy）　‘‘would　not　be　dressed　when　he　waked　up　this　morning；　and　Mademoiselle　Louise　sent　for　me。　He　was　naughty　and　obstinate。　I　tried　threatening　him；　but　he　only　got　more　ill…tempered。　Then　I　undertook　to　manage　him；　left　him；　and　helped　nurse　get　the　other　children　up；　and　told　him　I　did　not　love　him。　For　a　long　while　he　was　quiet；　as　though　he　were　surprised。　Then　he　rushed　out　to　me　in　his　night…shirt；　and　sobbed　so　that　I　could　not　soothe　him　for　a　long　while。　It　was　clear　that　what　distressed　him　most　was　having　grieved　me。　Then；　when　I　gave　him　his　report　in　the　evening；　he　cried　piteously　again　as　he　kissed　me。　One　can　do　anything　with　him　by　tenderness。’’
‘‘What　is　his　report？’’　asked　Nikolay。
‘‘I　have　begun　giving　the　elder　ones　little　marks　in　the　evening　of　how　they　have　behaved。’’
Nikolay　glanced　at　the　luminous　eyes　watching　him；　and　went　on　turning　over；　and　read　the　diary。　Everything　in　the　children’s　lives　was　noted　down　in　it　that　seemed　to　the　mother　of　interest　as　showing　the　character　of　the　children；　or　leading　to　general　conclusions　as　to　methods　of　bringing　them　up。　It　consisted　mostly　of　the　most　trifling　details；　but　they　did　not　seem　so　either　to　the　mother　or　the　father；　as　he　now；　for　the　first　time；　read　this　record　of　his　children’s　lives。　On　the　5th　of　December　there　was　the　note：
‘‘Mitya　was　naughty　at　table。　Papa　said　he　should　have　no　pudding。　He　had　none；　but　he　looked　so　miserably　and　greedily　at　the　others　while　they　were　eating。　I　believe　that　punishing　them　by　depriving　them　of　sweet　things　only　develops　greediness。　Must　tell　Nikolay。’’
Nikolay　put　the　book　down　and　looked　at　his　wife。　The　luminous　eyes　looked　at　him　doubtfully；　to　see　whether　he　approved　or　not。　There　could　be　no　doubt　of　Nikolay’s　approval；　of　his　enthusiastic　admiration　of　his　wife。
Perhaps　there　was　no　need　to　do　it　so　pedantically；　perhaps　there　was　no　need　of　it　all；　thought　Nikolay；　but　this　untiring；　perpetual　spiritual　effort；　directed　only　at　the　children’s　moral　welfare；　enchanted　him。　If　Nikolay　could　have　analysed　his　feelings；　he　would　have　found　that　the　very　groundwork　of　his　steady　and　tender　love　and　pride　in　his　wife　was　always　this　feeling　of　awe　at　her　spirituality；　at　that　elevated　moral　world　that　he　could　hardly　enter；　in　which　his　wife　always　lived。
He　was　proud　that　she　was　so　clever　and　so　good；　recognising　his　own　insignificance　beside　her　in　the　spiritual　world；　and　he　rejoiced　the　more　that　she；　with　her　soul；　not　only　belonged　to　him；　but　was　a　part　of　his　very　self。
‘‘I　quite；　quite　approve；　my　darling！’’　he　said；　with　a　significant　air。　‘‘And；’’　after　a　brief　pause；　he　added；　‘‘And　I　have　behaved　badly　to…day。　You　were　not　in　the　study。　Pierre　and　I　were　arguing；　and　I　lost　my　temper。　I　couldn’t　help　it。　He　is　such　a　child。　I　don’t　know　what　would　become　of　him　if　Natasha　didn’t　keep　him　at　her　apron…strings。　Can　you　imagine　what　he　went　to　Petersburg　about？…They　have　made　a…’’
‘‘Yes；　I　know；’’　said　Countess　Marya。　‘‘Natasha　told　me。’’
‘‘Oh；　well；　you　know；　then；’’　Nikolay　went　on；　getting　hot　at　the　mere　recollection　of　the　discussion。　‘‘He　wants　to　persuade　me　that　it’s　the　duty　of　every　honest　man　to　work　against　the　government　when　one’s　sworn　allegiance　and　duty。…I　am　sorry　you　were　not　there。　As　it　was；　they　all　fell　upon　me；　Denisov；　and　Natasha；　too。…Natasha　is　too　amusing。　We　know　she　twists　him　round　her　little　finger；　but　when　it　comes　to　discussion—she　hasn’t　an　idea　to　call　her　own—she　simply　repeats　his　words；’’　added　Nikolay；　yielding　to　that　irresistible　impulse　that　tempts　one　to　criticise　one’s　nearest　and　dearest。　Nikolay　was　unaware　that　what　he　was　saying　of　Natasha　might　be　said　word　for　word　of　himself　in　relation　to　his　wife。
‘‘Yes；　I　have　noticed　that；’’　said　Countess　Marya。
‘‘When　I　told　him　that　duty　and　sworn　allegiance　come　before　everything；　he　began　arguing　God　knows　what。　It　was　a　pity　you　were　not　there。　What　would　you　have　said？’’
‘‘To　my　thinking；　you　were　quite　right。　I　told　Natasha　so。　Pierre　says　that　every　one　is　suffering；　and　being　ill…treated　and　corrupted；　and　that　it’s　our　duty　to　help　our　neighbours。　Of　course；　he　is　right；’’　said　Countess　Marya；　‘‘but　he　forgets　that　we　have　other　nearer　duties；　which　God　Himself　has　marked　out　for　us；　and　that　we　may　run　risks　for　ourselves；　but　not　for　our　children。’’
‘‘Yes；　yes；　that’s　just　what　I　told　him；’’　cried　Nikolay；　who　actually　fancied　he　had　said　just　that。　‘‘And　they　had　all　their　say　out　about　loving　one’s　neighbour；　and　Christianity；　and　all　the　rest　of　it；　before　Nikolinka；　who　had　slipped　in　there；　and　was　pulling　al