生命不能承受之轻-第52节

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Don't　be　silly；　he　said。　We're　staying　the　night。　And　he　went　off　to　the　reception　desk　to　book　two　rooms。
When　Tereza　came　back　from　the　dance　floor　with　the　young　man；　the　chairman　asked　her　to　dance；　and　finally　Tomas　had　a　turn　with　her；　too。
Tomas；　she　said　to　him　out　on　the　floor；　everything　bad　that's　happened　in　your　life　is　my　fault。　It's　my　fault　you　ended　up　here；　as　low　as　you　could　possibly　go。　
Low？　What　are　you　talking　about？　
If　we　had　stayed　in　Zurich；　you'd　still　be　a　surgeon。　
And　you'd　be　a　photographer。　
That's　a　silly　comparison　to　make；　said　Tereza。　Your　work　meant　everything　to　you；　I　don't　care　what　I　do；　I　can　do　anything；　I　haven't　lost　a　thing；　you've　lost　everything。　
Haven't　you　noticed　I've　been　happy　here；　Tereza？　Tomas　said。
Surgery　was　your　mission；　she　said。
Missions　are　stupid；　Tereza。　I　have　no　mission。　No　one　has。　And　it's　a　terrific　relief　to　realize　you're　free；　free　of　all　missions。　
There　was　no　doubting　that　forthright　voice　of　his。　She　recalled　the　scene　she　had　witnessed　earlier　in　the　day　when　he　had　been　repairing　the　pickup　and　looked　so　old。　She　had　reached　her　goal：　she　had　always　wanted　him　to　be　old。　Again　she　thought　of　the　rabbit　she　had　pressed　to　her　face　in　her　childhood　room。
What　does　it　mean　to　turn　into　a　rabbit？　It　means　losing　all　strength。　It　means　that　one　is　no　stronger　than　the　other　anymore。
On　they　danced　to　the　strains　of　the　piano　and　violin。　Tereza　leaned　her　head　on　Tomas's　shoulder。　Just　as　she　had　when　they　flew　together　in　the　airplane　through　the　storm　clouds。　She　was　experiencing　the　same　odd　happiness　and　odd　sadness　as　then。　The　sadness　meant：　we　are　at　the　last　station。　The　happiness　meant：　we　are　together。　The　sadness　was　form；　the　happiness　content。　Happiness　filled　the　space　of　sadness。
They　went　back　to　their　table。　She　danced　twice　more　with　the　collective　farm　chairman　and　once　with　the　young　man　who　was　so　drunk　he　fell　with　her　on　the　dance　floor。
Then　they　all　went　upstairs　and　to　their　two　separate　rooms。
Tomas　turned　the　key　and　switched　on　the　ceiling　light。　Tereza　saw　two　beds　pushed　together；　one　of　them　flanked　by　a　bedside　table　and　lamp。　Up　out　of　the　lampshade；　startled　by　the　overhead　light；　flew　a　large　nocturnal　butterfly　that　began　circling　the　room。　The　strains　of　the　piano　and　violin　rose　up　weakly　from　below。

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