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第28节

生命不能承受之轻-第28节

小说: 生命不能承受之轻 字数: 每页4000字

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r commands that she could not understand; she tried to carry them out; but did not know how。
She wanted to go back to Petrin Hill and ask the man with the rifle to wind the blindfold around her eyes and let her lean against the trunk of the chestnut tree。 She wanted to die。
29
Waking up; she realized she was at home alone。
She went outside and set off in the direction of the embankment。 She wanted to see the Vltava。 She wanted to stand on its banks and look long and hard into its waters; because the sight of the flow was soothing and healing。 The river flowed from century to century; and human affairs play themselves out on its banks。 Play themselves out to be forgotten the next day; while the river flows on。
Leaning against the balustrade; she peered into the water。 She was on the outskirts of Prague; and the Vltava had already flowed through the city; leaving behind the glory of the Castle and churches; like an actress after a performance; it was tired and contemplative; it flowed on between its dirty banks; bounded by walls and fences that themselves bounded factories and abandoned playgrounds。
She was staring at the water—it seemed sadder and darker here—when suddenly she spied a strange object in the middle of the river; something red—yes; it was a bench。 A wooden bench on iron legs; the kind Prague's parks abound in。 It was floating down the Vltava。 Followed by another。 And another and another; and only then did Tereza realize that all the park benches of Prague were floating downstream; away from the city; many; many benches; more and more; drifting by like the autumn leaves that the water carries off from the woods—red; yellow; blue。
She turned and looked behind her as if to ask the passersby what it meant。 Why are Prague's park benches floating downstream? But everyone passed her by; indifferent; for little did they care that a river flowed from century to century through their ephemeral city。
Again she looked down at the river。 She was grief…stricken。 She understood that what she saw was a farewell。
When most of the benches had vanished from sight; a few latecomers appeared: one more yellow one; and then another; blue; the last。

PART FIVE
Lightness and Weight

1
When Tereza unexpectedly came to visit Tomas in Prague; he made love to her; as I pointed out in Part One; that very day; or rather; that very hour; but suddenly thereafter she became feverish。 As she lay in his bed and he stood over her; he had the irrepressible feeling that she was a child who had been put in a bulrush basket and sent downstream to him。
The image of the abandoned child had consequently become dear to him; and he often reflected on the ancient myths in which it occurred。 It was apparently with this in mind that he picked up a translation of Sophocles' Oedipus。
The story of Oedipus is well known: Abandoned as an infant; he was taken to King Polybus; who raised him。 One day; when he had grown into a youth; he came upon a dignitary riding along a mountain path。 A quarrel arose; and Oedipus killed the dignitary。 Later he became the husband of Queen Jocasta and ruler of Thebes。 Little did he know that the man he had killed in the mountains was his father and the woman with whom he slept his mother。 In the meantime; fate visited a plague on his subjects and tortured them with great pestilences。 When Oedipus realized that he himself was the cause of their suffering; he put out his own eyes and wandered blind away from Thebes。
2
Anyone who thinks that the Communist regimes of Central Europe are exclusively the work of criminals is overlooking a basic truth: the criminal regimes were made not by criminals but by enthusiasts convinced they had discovered the only road to paradise。 They defended that road so valiantly that they were forced to execute many people。 Later it became clear that there was no paradise; that the enthusiasts were therefore murderers。
Then everyone took to shouting at the Communists: You're the ones responsible for our country's misfortunes (it had grown poor and desolate); for its loss of independence (it had fallen into the hands of the Russians); for its judicial murders!
And the accused responded: We didn't know! We were deceived! We were true believers! Deep in our hearts we are innocent!
In the end; the dispute narrowed down to a single question: Did they really not know or were they merely making believe?
Tomas followed the dispute closely (as did his ten million fellow Czechs) and was of the opinion that while there had definitely been Communists who were not completely unaware of the atrocities (they could not have been ignorant of the horrors that had been perpetrated and were still being perpetrated in postrevolutionary Russia); it was probable that the majority of the Communists had not in fact known of them。
But; he said to himself; whether they knew or didn't know is not the main issue; the main issue is whether a man is innocent because he didn't know。 Is a fool on the throne relieved of all responsibility merely because he is a fool?
Let us concede that a Czech public prosecutor in the early fifties who called for the death of an innocent man was deceived by the Russian secret police and the government of his own country。 But now that we all know the accusations to have been absurd and the executed to have been innocent; how can that selfsame public prosecutor defend his purity of heart by beating himself on the chest and proclaiming; My conscience is clear! I didn't know! I was a believer! Isn't his I didn't know! I was a believer! at the very root of his irreparable guilt?
It was in this connection that Tomas recalled the tale of Oedipus: Oedipus did not know he was sleeping with his own mother; yet when he realized what had happened; he did not feel innocent。 Unable to stand the sight of the misfortunes he had wrought by not knowing; he put out his eyes and wandered blind away from Thebes。
When Tomas heard Communists shouting in defense of their inner purity; he said to himself; As a result of your not knowing; this country has lost its freedom; lost it for centuries; perhaps; and you shout that you feel no guilt? How can you stand the sight of what you've done? How is it you aren't horrified? Have you no eyes to see? If you had eyes; you would have to put them out and wander away from Thebes!
The analogy so pleased him that he often used it in conversation with friends; and his formulation grew increasingly precise and elegant。
Like all intellectuals at the time; he read a weekly newspaper published in three hundred thousand copies by the Union of Czech Writers。 It was a paper that had achieved considerable autonomy within the regime and dealt with issues forbidden to others。 Consequently; it was the writers' paper that raised the issue of who bore the burden of guilt for the judicial murders resulting from the political trials that marked the early years of Communist power。
Even the writers' paper merely repeated the same question: Did they know or did they not? Because Tomas found this question second…rate; he sat down one day; wrote down his reflections on Oedipus; and sent them to the weekly。 A month later he received an answer: an invitation to the editorial offices。 The editor who greeted him was short but as straight as a ruler。 He suggested that Tomas change the word order in one of the sentences。 And soon the text made its appearance—on the next to the last page; in the Letters to the Editor section。
Tomas was far from overjoyed。 They had considered it necessary to ask him to the editorial offices to approve a change in word order; but then; without asking him; shortened his text by so much that it was reduced to its basic thesis (making it too schematic and aggressive)。 He didn't like it anymore。
All this happened in the spring of 1968。 Alexander Dubcek was in power; along with those Communists who felt guilty and were willing to do something about their guilt。 But the other Communists; the ones who kept shouting how innocent they were; were afraid that the enraged nation would bring them to justice。 They complained daily to the Russian ambassador; trying to drum up support。 When Tomas's letter appeared; they shouted: See what things have come to! Now they're telling us publicly to put our eyes out!
Two or three months later the Russians decided that free speech was inadmissible in their gubernia; and in a single night they occupied Tomas's country with their army。
3
When Tomas came back to Prague from Zurich; he took up in his hospital where he had left off。 Then one day the chief surgeon called him in。
You know as well as I do; he said; that you're no writer or journalist or savior of the nation。 You're a doctor and a scientist。 I'd be very sad to lose you; and I'll do everything I can to keep you here。 But you've got to retract that article you wrote about Oedipus。 Is it terribly important to you? 
To tell you the truth; said Tomas; recalling how they had amputated a good third of the text; it couldn't be any less important。 
You know what's at stake; said the chief surgeon。
He knew; all right。 There were two things in the balance: his honor (which consisted in his refusing to retract what he had said) and what he had come to call the meaning of his life (his work

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