战争与和平(上)-第61节

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　to　dinner；　or　I　shan’t　see　you；”　or　“I　shall　stay　at　home　on　your　account；”　or　some　such　remark。　But　although；　when　Prince　Vassily　did　stay　at　home　for　Pierre　（as　he　said）；　he　never　spoke　two　words　to　him；　Pierre　did　not　feel　equal　to　disappointing　him。　Every　day　he　said　the　same　thing　over　and　over　to　himself。　“I　must　really　understand　her　and　make　up　my　mind；　what　she　is。　Was　I　mistaken　before；　or　am　I　mistaken　now？　No；　she’s　not　stupid；　no；　she’s　a　good　girl；”　he　said　to　himself　sometimes。　“She　never　makes　a　mistake；　nor　has　said　anything　stupid。　She　says　very　little；　but　what　she　does　say　is　always　simple　and　clear。　So　she’s　not　stupid。　She　has　never　been　abashed；　and　she　is　not　abashed　now。　So　she　isn’t　a　bad　woman。”　It　often　happened　that　he　began　to　make　reflections；　to　think　aloud　in　her　company；　and　every　time　she　had　replied　either　by　a　brief；　but　appropriate　remark；　that　showed　she　was　not　interested　in　the　matter；　or　by　a　mute　smile　and　glance；　which　more　palpably　than　anything　proved　to　Pierre　her　superiority。　She　was　right　in　regarding　all　reflections　as　nonsense　in　comparison　with　that　smile。
She　always　addressed　him　now　with　a　glad；　confiding　smile—a　smile　having　reference　to　him　alone；　and　full　of　something　more　significant　than　the　society　smile　that　always　adorned　her　face。　Pierre　knew　that　every　one　was　only　waiting　for　him　to　say　one　word；　to　cross　a　certain　line；　and　he　knew　that　sooner　or　later　he　would　cross　it。　But　a　kind　of　uncomprehended　horror　seized　upon　him　at　the　mere　thought　of　this　fearful　step。　A　thousand　times　in　the　course　of　those　six　weeks；　during　which　he　felt　himself　being　drawn　on　further　and　further　toward　the　abyss　that　horrified　him；　Pierre　had　said　to　himself：　“But　what　does　it　mean？　I　must　act　with　decision！　Can　it　be　that　I　haven’t　any？”　He　tried　to　come　to　a　decision；　but　felt　with　dismay　that　he　had　not　in　this　case　the　strength　of　will　which　he　had　known　in　himself　and　really　did　possess。　Pierre　belonged　to　that　class　of　persons　who　are　only　strong　when　they　feel　themselves　perfectly　pure。　And　ever　since　the　day　when　he　had　been　overcome　by　the　sensation　of　desire；　that　he　had　felt　stooping　over　the　snuff…box　at　Anna　Pavlovna’s；　an　unconscious　sense　of　the　sinfulness　of　that　impulse　paralysed　his　will。
On　Ellen’s　name…day；　Prince　Vassily　was　giving　a　little　supper　party　of　just　their　own　people；　as　his　wife　said；　that　is；　of　friends　and　relations。　All　these　friends　and　relations　were　made　to　feel　that　the　day　was　to　be　a　momentous　one　in　the　young　lady’s　life。　The　guests　were　seated　at　supper。　Princess　Kuragin；　a　massive　woman　of　imposing　presence；　who　had　once　been　beautiful；　sat　in　the　hostess’　place；　with　the　most　honoured　guests　on　each　side　of　her—an　old　general　and　his　wife；　and　Anna　Pavlovna　Scherer。　Towards　the　bottom　of　the　table　sat　the　less　elderly　and　less　honoured　guests；　and　there　too　sat　as　members　of　the　family　Pierre　and　Ellen；　side　by　side。　Prince　Vassily　did　not　take　supper。　He　moved　to　and　fro　about　the　table；　in　excellent　spirits；　sitting　down　beside　one　guest　after　another。　To　every　one　he　dropped　a　few　careless　and　agreeable　words；　except　to　Pierre　and　Ellen；　whose　presence　he　seemed　not　to　notice。　Prince　Vassily　enlivened　the　whole　company。　The　wax　candles　burned　brightly；　there　was　a　glitter　of　silver　and　crystal　on　the　table；　of　ladies’　ornaments　and　the　gold　and　silver　of　epaulettes。　The　servants　threaded　their　way　in　and　out　round　the　table　in　their　red　coats。　There　was　a　clatter　of　knives；　glasses；　and　plates；　and　the　sound　of　eager　talk　from　several　separate　conversations　round　the　table。　The　old　kammerherr　at　one　end　could　be　heard　asseverating　to　an　elderly　baroness　his　ardent　love　for　her；　while　she　laughed。　At　the　other　end　an　anecdote　was　being　told　of　the　ill…success　of　some　Marya　Viktorovna。　In　the　centre　Prince　Vassily　concentrated　the　attention　on　himself。　With　a　playful　smile　on　his　lips；　he　was　telling　the　ladies　about　the　last　Wednesday’s　session　of　the　privy　council；　at　which　Sergey　Kuzmitch　Vyazmitinov；　the　new　military　governor…general　of　Petersburg；　had　received　and　read　a　rescript—much　talked　of　at　the　time—from　the　Emperor　Alexander　Pavlovitch。　The　Emperor；　writing　from　the　army　to　Sergey　Kuzmitch；　had　said　that　on　all　sides　he　was　receiving　proofs　of　the　devotion　of　his　people；　and　that　the　testimony　from　Petersburg　was　particularly　gratifying　to　him；　that　he　was　proud　of　the　honour　of　being　at　the　head　of　such　a　people；　and　would　do　his　best　to　be　worthy　of　it。　This　rescript　began　with　the　words：　“Sergey　Kuzmitch。　From　all　sides　reports　reach　me；”　etc。
“So　that　he　never　got　further　with　it　than　‘Sergey　Kuzmitch’？”　one　lady　asked。
“No；　no；　not　a　syllable；”　Prince　Vassily　answered　laughing。　“　‘Sergey　Kuzmitch…from　all　sides。’　‘From　all　sides…Sergey　Kuzmitch。…’　Poor　Vyazmitinov　could　not　get　any　further。　Several　times　he　started　upon　the　letter　again；　but　no　sooner　did　he　utter　‘Sergey；’…than　a　sniff…‘Kuz…mi…itch’—tears…and　‘from　all　sides’　is　smothered　in　sobs；　and　he　can　get　no　further。　And　again　the　handkerchief　and　again　‘Sergey　Kuzmitch　from　all　sides’　and　tears；…so　that　we　begged　some　one　else　to　read　it。…”
“　‘Kuzmitch…from　all　sides’…and　tears。…”　some　one　repeated；　laughing。
“Don’t　be　naughty；”　said　Anna　Pavlovna；　from　the　other　end　of　the　table；　shaking　her　finger　at　him。　“He　is　such　a　worthy；　excellent　man；　our　good　Vyazmitinov。”
Every　one　laughed　heartily。　At　the　upper　end　of　the　table；　the　place　of　honour；　every　one　seemed　in　good　spirits；　under　the　influence　of　various　enlivening　tendencies。　Only　Pierre　and　Ellen　sat　mutely　side　by　side　almost　at　the　bottom　of　the　table。　The　faces　of　both　wore　a　restrained　but　beaming　smile　that　had　no　connection　with　Sergey　Kuzmitch—the　smile　of　bashfulness　at　their　own　feelings。　Gaily　as　the　others　laughed　and　talked　and　jested；　appetising　as　were　the　Rhine　wine；　the　sauté；　and　the　ices　they　were　discussing；　carefully　as　they　avoided　glancing　at　the　young　couple；　heedless　and　unobservant　as　they　seemed　of　them；　yet　it　was　somehow　perceptible　from　the　glances　stolen　at　times　at　them；　that　the　anecdote　about　Sergey　Kuzmitch；　and　the　laughter　and　the　dishes；　were　all　affectation；　and　that　the　whole　attention　of　all　the　party　was　really　concentrated　simply　on　that　pair—Pierre　and　Ellen。　Prince　Vassily　mimicked　the　sniffs　of　Sergey　Kuzmitch；　and　at　the　same　time　avoided　glancing　at　his　daughter；　and　at　the　very　time　that　he　was　laughing；　his　expression　seemed　to　say：　“Yes；　yes；　it’s　all　going　well；　it　will　all　be　settled　to…day。”　Anna　Pavlovna　shook　her　finger　at　him　for　laughing　at　“our　good　Vyazmitinov；”　but　in　her　eyes；　which　at　that　second　flashed　a　glance　in　Pierre’s　direction；　Prince　Vassily　read　congratulation　on　his　future　son…in…law　and　his　daughter’s　felicity。　Old　Princess　Kuragin；　offering　wine　to　the　lady　next　her　with　a　pensive　sigh；　looking　angrily　at　her　daughter；　seemed　in　that　sigh　to　be　saying：　“Yes；　there’s　nothing　left　for　you　and　me　now；　my　dear；　but　to　drink　sweet　wine；　now　that　the　time　has　come　for　the　young　people　to　be　so　indecently；　provokingly　happy！”　“And　what　stupid　stuff　it　all　is　that　I’m　talking　about；　as　though　it　interested　me；”　thought　the　diplomat；　glancing　at　the　happy　faces　of　the　lovers。　“That’s　happiness！”
Into　the　midst　of　the　petty　trivialities；　the　conventional　interests；　which　made　the　common　tie　uniting　that　company；　had　fallen　the　simple　feeling　of　the　attraction　of　two　beautiful　and　healthy　young　creatures　to　one　another。　And　this　human　feeling　dominated　everything　and　triumphed　over　all　their　conventional　chatter。　The　jests　fell　flat；　the　news　was　not　interesting；　the　liveliness　was　unmistakably　forced。　Not　the　guests　only；　but　the　footmen　waiting　at　table　seemed　to　feel　the　same　and　forget　their　duties；　glancing　at　the　lovely　Ellen　with　her　radiant　face　and　the　broad；　red；　happy　and　uneasy　face　of　Pierre。　The　very　light　of　the　candles　seemed　concentrated　on　those　two　happy　faces。
Pierre　felt　that　he　was　the　centre　of　it　all；　and　this　position　both　pleased　him　and　embarrassed　him。　He　was　like　a　man　absorbed　in　some　engrossing　occupation。　He　had　no　clear　sight；　nor　hearing；　no　understanding　of　anything。　Only　from　time　to　time　disconnected　ideas　and　impressions　of　the　reality　flashed　unexpectedly　into　his　mind。
“So　it　is　all　over！”　he　thought。　“And　how　has　it　all　been　done？　So　quickly！　Now　I　know　that　not　for　her　sake；　nor　for　my　sake　alone；　but　for　every　one　it　must　inevitably　come　to　pass。　They　all　expect　it　so；　they　are　all　so　convinced　that　it　will　be；　that　I　cannot；　I　cannot；　disappoint　them。　But　how　will　it　be？　I　don’t　know；　but　it　will　be　infallibly；　it　will　be！”　mused　Pierre；　glancing　at　the　dazzling　shoulders　that　were　so　close　to　his　eyes。
Then　he　suddenly　felt　a　vague　shame。　He　felt　awkward　at　being　the　sole　object　of　the　general　attention；　at　being　a　happy　man　in　the　eyes　of　others；　with　his　ugly　face　being　a　sort　of　Paris　in　possession　of　a　Helen。　“But；　no　doubt；　it’s　always　like　this；　and　must　be　so；”　he　consoled　himself。　“And　yet　what　have　I　done　to　bring　it　about？　When　did　it　begin？　I　came　here　from　Moscow　with　Prince　Vassily；　then