苔斯-第8节

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inished　playing，　and　caught　sight　of　her．　She　blushed　and　moved　away．

‘Why　are　you　going，　Tess？’he　asked．‘Are　you　afraid？’

‘Oh　no，　sir，　not　of　outdoor　things．’

‘But　indoors？’

‘Well，　yes，　sir．’

‘Life　in　general？’

‘Yes，sir．’

‘Ah，　so　am　I，very　often．　Being　alive　is　rather　serious，don't　you　think　so？’

‘It　is，　now　you　put　it　like　that．’

‘All　the　same，　I　wouldn't　expect　a　young　girl　like　you　to　feel　that．　Why？　Come，　tell　me．’

After　a　moment's　hesitation　she　answered，‘The　trees　ask　questions　with　their　eyes，　don't　they？　And　you　seem　to　see　hundreds　of　tomorrows　all　in　a　line，the　first　big　and　clear，　the　others　getting　smaller．　But　they　all　look　fierce　and　cruel．　But　you　can　drive　away　all　these　ideas　with　your　music，　sir！’

He　was　surprised　to　find　that　this　dairymaid　had　such　sad　thoughts．　She　was　expressing　in　her　own　words　the　ache　of　modern　life．　This　sadness　made　her　more　interesting　to　him．He　did　not　know　that　her　experience　had　given　her　great　strength　of　feeling．　Tess，　on　the　other　hand，　could　not　understand　why　a　man　of　religious　family，　good　education　and　financial　independence　should　feel　sorry　to　be　alive．　How　could　this　admirable　and　poetic　man　have　felt，　as　she　did　two　or　three　years　ago，　that　he　would　rather　die？　It　was　true　that　he　was　not　at　present　living　among　gentlemen．　But　he　was　studying　what　he　wanted　to　know，　and　would　become　a　rich　farmer　in　time．　So，as　they　neither　understood　each　other's　secrets，　they　were　both　puzzled　and　waited　to　find　out　more．

At　first　Tess　regarded　Angel　as　an　intelligence　rather　than　a　man．　She　became　quite　depressed　as　she　realized　the　distance　between　her　own　knowledge　and　his．　One　day　he　asked　her　why　she　looked　so　sad．

‘Oh，　it's　only　that　I　feel　I've　been　wasting　my　life！　When　I　see　what　you　know，　I　feel　what　a　nothing　I　am！’

‘Well，　my　dear　Tess，’　said　Angel　with　some　enthusiasm，‘I　shall　be　only　too　glad　to　help　you　study　history，　for　example…’

‘I　don't　know．　What's　the　use　of　learning　that　I'm　one　of　a　long　row，　and　that　my　past　and　future　are　like　thousands　of　other　people's？　But　there's　one　thing　I'd　like　to　know—why　the　sun　shines　on　the　good　and　the　bad　just　the　same，’　she　said，　her　voice　trembling．

‘Oh，Tess，don't　be　bitter！’Of　course　he　had　wondered　this　himself　in　the　past．　But　as　he　looked　at　her　innocent　lips，　he　thought　this　pure　child　of　nature　could　only　have　picked　up　the　question　from　others．　She　could　not　possibly　have　any　guilt　in　her　past．　

When　he　had　gone，　Tess　felt　again　how　stupid　she　must　appear　to　him．She　wondered　whether　she　could　gain　his　respect　by　telling　him　of　her　d’Urberville　blood．　She　first　asked　the　dairyman　if　Mr　Clare　was　interested　in　old　families　who　had　lost　their　money　and　land．

‘No，’said　Mr　Crick　firmly．　‘He's　a　rebel，　and　the　one　thing　he　hates　is　an　old　family．’After　hearing　this　not　very　accurate　view　of　Clare's　opinions，　poor　Tess　was　glad　she　had　not　mentioned　her　ancestors．

That　summer，　Tess　and　Clare　unconsciously　studied　each　other，　balanced　on　the　edge　of　a　passion，　yet　just　keeping　out　of　it．　But　all　the　time，　like　two　streams　in　a　valley，　they　were　destined　to　join．Tess　had　never　been　so　happy　as　she　was　now，　and　perhaps　never　would　be　so　again．　They　met　continually．They　could　not　help　it．They　met　daily　in　the　half…light，　at　three　o’clock　in　the　morning，　just　before　milking．　They　felt　they　were　the　first　two　up　in　the　whole　world，　like　Adam　and　Eve．　Tess　seemed　like　a　queen　to　Clare，　perhaps　because　he　knew　that　she　was　the　most　beautiful　woman　walking　about　at　this　time　of　day．　Lovely　women　are　usually　asleep　at　midsummer　sunrise．　But　Tess　was　near，　and　the　rest　were　nowhere．　In　the　strange　light　she　was　no　longer　a　milkmaid，　but　a　vision　of　woman，　the　whole　of　womanhood　in　one　form．

One　day　just　after　breakfast　they　all　gathered　in　the　milkhouse．　The　milk　was　turning　in　the　churn，　but　the　butter　would　not　come．Dairyman　Crick　was　worried．

‘Maybe　someone　in　the　house　is　in　love，’suggestea　his　wife．‘That　sometimes　causes　it．　D’you　remember　that　maid　years　ago，　and　the　butter　didn't　come…？’

‘Ah　yes，　but　that　wasn't　being　in　love，’replied　Mr　Crick．‘That　was　damage　to　the　churn．’He　turned　to　Clare　to　tell　the　story．

‘Jack　Dollop，　one　of　our　milkers，　got　a　girl　into　trouble．One　day　her　mother　came　looking　for　him　with　a　great　heavy　umbrella　in　her　hand．Jack　hid　in　the　churn，but　she　found　him　and　turned　it　round　and　round．“　Stop，stop！”　cried　Jack．“If　you　promise　to　marry　my　daughter！”shouted　the　mother．And　so　he　did．’

Tess，　very　pale，　had　gone　to　the　door　for　some　fresh　air．Fortunately　the　butter　suddenly　came．　But　Tess　remained　depressed　all　afternoon．To　the　others　the　story　was　funny．She　alone　could　see　the　sorrow　in　it，　and　it　reminded　her　of　her　experience．

Tess　was　first　in　bed　that　night，　and　was　half　asleep　as　the　other　girls　undressed．　She　saw　them　standing　at　the　window　looking　at　someone　in　the　garden　with　great　interest．

‘It's　no　use　you　being　in　love　with　him　any　more　than　me，Retty　Priddle，’　said　Marian，　the　eldest．

‘There　he　is　again！’cried　lzz　Huett，　a　pale　girl　with　dark　hair．‘　I　would　just　marry　him　tomorrow　if　he　asked　me，’said　Marian，　blushing．

‘So　would　I，　and　more，’murmured　Izz．

‘And　I　too，’whispered　Retty　shyly．

‘We　can't　all　marry　him，’said　Izz．

‘We　can't　anyway，’said　Marian．‘He　likes　Tess　Durbeyfield　best．　I've　watched　him　every　day　and　found　it　out．’

There　was　a　thoughtful　silence．

‘How　silly　this　all　is！’said　Izz　impatiently．　‘He's　a　gentleman's　son．　He　won't　marry　any　of　us　or　Tess　either！’They　all　sighed，　and　crept　into　their　beds，　and　fell　asleep．　But　Tess，　with　her　deeper　feelings，　could　not　sleep．　She　knew　Angel　Clare　preferred　her　to　the　others．　She　was　more　attractive，　better　educated　and　more　womanly．　She　could　keep　his　affection　for　her．　But　should　she？　Perhaps　the　others　should　have　a　chance　of　attracting　his　attention，　and　even　of　marrying　him．She　had　heard　from　Mrs　Crick　that　Mr　Clare　had　spoken　of　marrying　a　country　girl　to　help　him　farm，　milk　cows　and　reap　corn．Tess　had　promised　herself　she　would　never　marry　and　would　never　be　tempted　to　do　so．　She　ought　to　leave　the　field　open　for　the　other　girls．

Next　morning　Dairyman　Crick　sent　all　the　dairy　people　out　into　a　field　to　search　for　garlic　plants．　One　bite　by　one　cow　was　enough　to　make　the　whole　day's　butter　taste　of　garlic．It　was　not　by　accident　that　Clare　walked　next　to　Tess．

‘Don't　they　look　pretty？’she　said　to　him．

‘Who？’

‘Izzy　Huett　and　Retty．’She　had　decided　that　either　would　make　a　good　farmer's　wife．

‘Pretty？　Well，　yes，　I　have　often　thought　so．

‘They　are　excellent　dairywomen．

‘Yes，though　not　better　than　you．’Clare　observed　them．

‘She　is　blushing，’continued　Tess　bravely，‘because　you　are　looking　at　her．’She　could　hardly　say‘Marry　one　of　them　if　you　really　don't　want　a　fine　lady！　Don't　think　of　marrying　me！’From　now　on　she　tried　to　avoid　spending　time　with　Angel．　She　gave　the　other　three　every　chance．

　　



　


11

　　

It　was　July　and　very　hot．　The　atmosphere　of　the　flat　valley　hung　like　a　drug　over　the　dairy　people，　the　cows　and　the　trees．　It　was　Sunday　morning　after　milking．　Tess　and　the　other　three　girls　dressed　quickly　to　go　to　Mellstock　Church，which　was　three　or　four　miles　away　from　Talbothays．　Heavy　thunderstorms　had　poured　down　the　day　before，　but　today　the　sun　shone　brightly　and　the　air　was　warm　and　clear．When　the　girls　reached　the　lowest　part　of　the　road　to　Mellstock，　they　found　it　was　flooded．　In　working　clothes　and　boots　they　would　have　walked　through，　but　they　were　wearing　Sunday　white　stockings　and　thin　shoes　which　they　did　not　want　to　ruin．　The　church　bell　was　calling，　still　a　mile　away．

Suddenly　they　saw　Angel　Clare　approaching．　He　had　seen　them　from　far　away，　and　had　come　to　help　them，　one　of　them　in　particular．

‘I'll　carry　you　through　the　water，　all　of　you，’he　offered．All　four　blushed　as　if　they　had　one　heart．

‘Now，　Marian，　put　your　arms　round　my　shoulders．　Hold　on！’　and　Angel　walked　off　with　her　in　his　arms．　Next　was　lzz　Huett．Her　lips　were　dry　with　emotion．　Angel　returned　for　Retty．　While　he　was　picking　her　up，　he　glanced　at　Tess．　He　could　not　have　said　more　plainly，‘　It　will　soon　be　you　and　I．’There　was　an　understanding　between　them．

It　was　now　Tess's　turn．　He　picked　her　up．　She　was　embarrassed　to　discover　her　excitement　at　his　nearness．

‘Three　plain　girls　to　get　one　beauty，’he　whispered．

‘They　are　better　women　than　I，’　she　said　bravely．

‘Not　to　me，’　said　Angel．　She　blushed．　There　was　silence．Clare　stood　still　and　bent　his　face　to　hers．

‘Oh　Tessy！’he　said．　Her　cheeks　were　pink　and　she　could　not　look　into　his　eyes．　But　he　respected　her　modesty　and　did　nothing　more．　He　walked　slowly，　however，　to　make　the　journey　as　long　as　possible，　and　put　her　down　on　dry　land．　Her　friends　were　looking　with　round　thoughtful　eye