莱尔主教upper_room-第61节
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hope; and let not thy soul spare for his crying〃 (Prov。 19:18)。
〃Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child: but the rod of
correction shall drive it from him〃 (Prov。 22:15)。 〃Withhold not
correction from the child; for if thou beatest him with the rod he
shall not die。 Thou shalt beat him with the rod; and deliver his soul
from hell〃 (Prov。 23:13…14)。 〃The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a
child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame。〃 〃Correct thy son;
and he shall give thee rest; yea; he shall give delight to thy soul〃
(Prov。 29:15…17)。
How strong and forcible are these texts! How melancholy is the fact;
that in many Christian families they seem almost unknown! Their
children need reproof; but it is hardly ever given; they need
correction; but it is hardly ever employed。 And yet this book of
Proverbs is not obsolete and unfit for Christians。 It is given by
inspiration of God; and profitable。 It is given for our learning; even
as the Epistles to the Romans and Ephesians。 Surely the believer who
brings up his children without attention to its counsel is making
himself wise above that which is written; and greatly errs:
Fathers and mothers; I tell you plainly; if you never punish your
children when they are in fault; you are doing them a grievous wrong。 I
warn you; this is the rock on which the saints of God; in every age;
have only too frequently made shipwreck。 I would fain persuade you to
be wise in time; and keep clear of it。 See it in Eli's case。 His sons
Hophni and Phinehas 〃made themselves vile; and he restrained them not。〃
He gave them no more than a tame and lukewarm reproof; when he ought to
have rebuked them sharply。 In one word; He honoured his sons above God。
And what was the end of these things? He lived to hear of the death of
both his sons in battle; and his own grey hairs were brought down with
sorrow to the grave (1 Sam。 2:22…29; 3:13)。
See; too; the case of David。 Who can read without pain the history of
his children; and their sins? Amnon's incest; Absalom's murder and
proud rebellion;Adonijah's scheming ambition: truly these were
grievous wounds for the man after God's own heart to receive from his
own house。 But was there no fault on his side? I fear there can be no
doubt there was。 I find a clue to it all in the account of Adonijah in
1 Kings 1:6; 〃HIS father had not displeased him at any time in saying;
Why hast thou done so?〃 There was the foundation of all the mischief。
David was an over…indulgent father; father who let his children have
their own way; and he reaped according as he had sown。
Parents; I beseech you; for your children's sake; beware of
over…indulgence。 I call on you to remember; it is your first duty to
consult their real interests; and not their fancies and likings;to
train them; not to humour them; to profit; not merely to please。
You must not give way to every wish and caprice of your child's mind;
however much you may love him。 You must not let him suppose his will is
to be everything; and that he has only to desire a thing and it will be
done。 Do not; I pray you; make your children idols; lest God should
take them away; and break your idol; just to convince you of your
folly。
Learn to say 〃No〃 to your children。 Show them that you are able to
refuse whatever you think is not fit for them。 Show them that you are
ready to punish disobedience; and that when you speak of punishment;
you are not only ready to threaten; but also to perform。 Do not
threaten too much。 '17' Threatened folks; and threatened faults; live
long。 Punish seldom; but really and in good earnest; frequent and
slight punishment is a wretched system indeed。 '18'
Beware of letting small faults pass unnoticed under the idea 〃it is a
little one。〃 There are no little things in training children; all are
important。 Little weeds need plucking up as much as any。 Leave them
alone; and they will soon be great。
Reader; if there be any point which deserves your attention; believe
me; it is this one。 It is one that will give you trouble; I know。 But
if you do not take trouble with your children when they are young; they
will give you trouble when they are old。 Choose which you prefer。
XIII。 Train them remembering continually how God trains His children。
The Bible tells us that God has an elect people; a family in this
world。 All poor sinners who have been convinced of sin; and fled to
Jesus for peace; make up that family。 All of us who really believe on
Christ for salvation are its members。
Now God the Father is ever training the members of this family for
their everlasting abode with Him in heaven。 He acts as a husbandman
pruning his vines; that they may bear more fruit。 He knows the
character of each of us; our besetting sins; our weaknesses; our
peculiar infirmities; our special wants。 He knows our works and where
we dwell; who are our panions in life; and what are our trials; what
our temptations; and what are our privileges。 He knows all these
things; and is ever ordering all for our good。 He allots to each of us;
in His providence; the very things we need; in order to bear the most
fruit; as much of sunshine as we can stand; and as much of rain; as
much of bitter things as we can bear; and as much of sweet。 Reader; if
you would train your children wisely; mark well how God the Father
trains His。 He doeth all things well; the plan which He adopts must be
right。
See; then; how many things there are which God withholds from His
children。 Few could be found; I suspect; among them who have not had
desires which He has never been pleased to fulfil。 There has often been
some one thing they wanted to attain; and yet there has always been
some barrier to prevent attainment。 It has been just as if God was
placing it above our reach; and saying; 〃This is not good for you; this
must not be。〃 Moses desired exceedingly to cross over Jordan; and see
the goodly land of promise; but you will remember his desire was never
granted。
See; too; how often God leads His people by ways which seem dark and
mysterious to our eyes。 We cannot see the meaning of all His dealings
with us; we cannot see the reasonableness of the path in which our feet
are treading。 Sometimes so many trials have assailed us;so many
difficulties enpassed us; that we have not been able to discover the
needs…be of it all。 It has been just as if our Father was taking us by
the hand into a dark place and saying; 〃Ask no questions; but follow
Me。〃 There was a direct road from Egypt to Canaan; yet Israel was not
led into it; but round; through the wilderness。 And this seemed hard at
the time。 〃The soul of the people;〃 we are told; 〃was much discouraged
because of the way〃 (Exod。 13:17; Num。 21:4)。
See; also; how often God chastens His people with trial and affliction。
He sends them crosses and disappointments; He lays them low with
sickness; He strips them of property and friends; He changes them from
one position to another; He visits them with things most hard to flesh
and blood; and some of us have well…nigh fainted under the burdens laid
upon us。 We have felt pressed beyond strength; and have been almost
ready to murmur at the hand which chastened us。 Paul the Apostle had a
thorn in the flesh appointed him; some bitter bodily trial; no doubt;
though we know not exactly what it was。 But this we know; he besought
the Lord thrice that it might be removed; yet it was not taken away (2
Cor。 12:8…9)。
Now; reader; notwithstanding all these things; did you ever hear of a
single child of God who thought his Father did not treat him wisely?
No; I am sure you never did。 God's children would always tell you; in
the long run; it was a blessed thing they did not have their own way;
and that God had done far better for them than they could have done for
themselves。 Yes! And they could tell you; too; that God's dealings had
provided more happiness for them than they ever would have obtained
themselves; and that His way; however dark at times; was the way of
pleasantness and the path of peace。
I ask you to lay to heart the lesson which God's dealings with His
people is meant to teach you。 Fear not to withhold from your child
anything you think will do him harm; whatever his own wishes may be。
This is God's plan。
Hesitate not to lay on him mands; of which he may not at present see
the wisdom; and to guide him in ways which may not now seem reasonable
to his mind。 This is God's plan。
Shrink not from chastising and correcting him whenever you see his
soul's health requires it; however painful it may be to your feelings;
and remember medicines for the mind must not be rejected because they
are bitter。 This is God's plan。
And be not afraid; above all; that such a plan of training will make
your child unhappy。 I warn you against thi