05-behavior-第3节
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Palaces interest us mainly in the exhibition of manners; which;
in the idle and expensive society dwelling in them; are raised to a
high art。 The maxim of courts is; that manner is power。 A calm and
resolute bearing; a polished speech; an embellishment of trifles; and
the art of hiding all uncomfortable feeling; are essential to the
courtier: and Saint Simon; and Cardinal de Retz; and R;oederer; and
an encyclopaedia of _Memoires_; will instruct you; if you wish; in
those potent secrets。 Thus; it is a point of pride with kings; to
remember faces and names。 It is reported of one prince; that his
head had the air of leaning downwards; in order not to humble the
crowd。 There are people who come in ever like a child with a piece
of good news。 It was said of the late Lord Holland; that he always
came down to breakfast with the air of a man who had just met with
some signal good…fortune。 In 〃_Notre Dame_;〃 the grandee took his
place on the dais; with the look of one who is thinking of something
else。 But we must not peep and eavesdrop at palace…doors。
Fine manners need the support of fine manners in others。 A
scholar may be a well…bred man; or he may not。 The enthusiast is
introduced to polished scholars in society; and is chilled and
silenced by finding himself not in their element。 They all have
somewhat which he has not; and; it seems; ought to have。 But if he
finds the scholar apart from his companions; it is then the
enthusiast's turn; and the scholar has no defence; but must deal on
his terms。 Now they must fight the battle out on their private
strengths。 What is the talent of that character so common; the
successful man of the world; in all marts; senates; and
drawing…rooms? Manners: manners of power; sense to see his
advantage; and manners up to it。 See him approach his man。 He knows
that troops behave as they are handled at first; that is his cheap
secret; just what happens to every two persons who meet on any
affair; one instantly perceives that he has the key of the
situation; that his will comprehends the other's will; as the cat
does the mouse; and he has only to use courtesy; and furnish
good…natured reasons to his victim to cover up the chain; lest he be
shamed into resistance。
The theatre in which this science of manners has a formal
importance is not with us a court; but dress…circles; wherein; after
the close of the day's business; men and women meet at leisure; for
mutual entertainment; in ornamented drawing…rooms。 Of course; it has
every variety of attraction and merit; but; to earnest persons; to
youths or maidens who have great objects at heart; we cannot extol it
highly。 A well…dressed; talkative company; where each is bent to
amuse the other; yet the high…born Turk who came hither fancied
that every woman seemed to be suffering for a chair; that all the
talkers were brained and exhausted by the deoxygenated air: it
spoiled the best persons: it put all on stilts。 Yet here are the
secret biographies written and read。 The aspect of that man is
repulsive; I do not wish to deal with him。 The other is irritable;
shy; and on his guard。 The youth looks humble and manly: I choose
him。 Look on this woman。 There is not beauty; nor brilliant
sayings; nor distinguished power to serve you; but all see her
gladly; her whole air and impression are healthful。 Here come the
sentimentalists; and the invalids。 Here is Elise; who caught cold in
coming into the world; and has always increased it since。 Here are
creep…mouse manners; and thievish manners。 〃Look at Northcote;〃 said
Fuseli; 〃he looks like a rat that has seen a cat。〃 In the shallow
company; easily excited; easily tired; here is the columnar Bernard:
the Alleghanies do not express more repose than his behavior。 Here
are the sweet following eyes of Cecile: it seemed always that she
demanded the heart。 Nothing can be more excellent in kind than the
Corinthian grace of Gertrude's manners; and yet Blanche; who has no
manners; has better manners than she; for the movements of Blanche
are the sallies of a spirit which is sufficient for the moment; and
she can afford to express every thought by instant action。
Manners have been somewhat cynically defined to be a
contrivance of wise men to keep fools at a distance。 Fashion is
shrewd to detect those who do not belong to her train; and seldom
wastes her attentions。 Society is very swift in its instincts; and;
if you do not belong to it; resists and sneers at you; or quietly
drops you。 The first weapon enrages the party attacked; the second
is still more effective; but is not to be resisted; as the date of
the transaction is not easily found。 People grow up and grow old
under this infliction; and never suspect the truth; ascribing the
solitude which acts on them very injuriously; to any cause but the
right one。
The basis of good manners is self…reliance。 Necessity is the
law of all who are not self…possessed。 Those who are not
self…possessed; obtrude; and pain us。 Some men appear to feel that
they belong to a Pariah caste。 They fear to offend; they bend and
apologize; and walk through life with a timid step。 As we sometimes
dream that we are in a well…dressed company without any coat; so
Godfrey acts ever as if he suffered from some mortifying
circumstance。 The hero should find himself at home; wherever he is:
should impart comfort by his own security and good…nature to all
beholders。 The hero is suffered to be himself。 A person of strong
mind comes to perceive that for him an immunity is secured so long as
he renders to society that service which is native and proper to him;
an immunity from all the observances; yea; and duties; which
society so tyrannically imposes on the rank and file of its members。
〃Euripides;〃 says Aspasia; 〃has not the fine manners of Sophocles;
but;〃 she adds good…humoredly; 〃the movers and masters of our
souls have surely a right to throw out their limbs as carelessly as
they please; on the world that belongs to them; and before the
creatures they have animated。〃 (*)
(*) Landor: _Pericles and Aspasia_。
Manners require time; as nothing is more vulgar than haste。
Friendship should be surrounded with ceremonies and respects; and not
crushed into corners。 Friendship requires more time than poor busy
men can usually command。 Here comes to me Roland; with a delicacy of
sentiment leading and inwrapping him like a divine cloud or holy
ghost。 'Tis a great destitution to both that this should not be
entertained with large leisures; but contrariwise should be balked by
importunate affairs。
But through this lustrous varnish; the reality is ever shining。
'Tis hard to keep the _what_ from breaking through this pretty
painting of the _how_。 The core will come to the surface。 Strong
will and keen perception overpower old manners; and create new; and
the thought of the present moment has a greater value than all the
past。 In persons of character; we do not remark manners; because of
their instantaneousness。 We are surprised by the thing done; out of
all power to watch the way of it。 Yet nothing is more charming than
to recognize the great style which runs through the actions of such。
People masquerade before us in their fortunes; titles; offices; and
connections; as academic or civil presidents; or senators; or
professors; or great lawyers; and impose on the frivolous; and a good
deal on each other; by these fames。 At least; it is a point of
prudent good manners to treat these reputations tenderly; as if they
were merited。 But the sad realist knows these fellows at a glance;
and they know him; as when in Paris the chief of the police enters a
ballroom; so many diamonded pretenders shrink and make themselves as
inconspicuous as they can; or give him a supplicating look as they
pass。 〃I had received;〃 said a sibyl; 〃I had received at birth the
fatal gift of penetration:〃 and these Cassandras are always born。
Manners impress as they indicate real power。 A man who is sure
of his point; carries a broad and contented expression; which
everybody reads。 And you cannot rightly train one to an air and
manner; except by making him the kind of man of whom that manner is
the natural expression。 Nature forever puts a premium on reality。
What is done for effect; is seen to be done for effect; what is done
for love; is felt to be done for love。 A man inspires affection and
honor; because he was not lying in wait for these。 The things of a
man for which we visit him; were done in the dark and the cold。 A
little integrity is better than any career。 So deep are the sources
of this surface…action; that even the size of your companion seems to
vary with his freedom of thought。 Not only is he larger; when at
ease; and his thoughts generous; but everything around him becomes
varia