how to fail in literature-第6节

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but　help　others　to　fail；　by　giving　a　bad　idea　of　their　works。　　You

will；　of　course；　never　read　the　books　you　review；　and　you　will　be

exhaustively　ignorant　of　the　subjects　which　they　treat。　　But　you　can

always　find　fault　with　the　TITLE　of　the　story　which　comes　into　your

hands；　a　stupid　reviewer　never　fails　to　do　this。　　You　can　also　copy

out　as　much　of　the　preface　as　will　fill　your　eighth　of　a　column；　and

add；　that　the　performance　is　not　equal　to　the　promise。　　You　must

never　feel　nor　shew　the　faintest　interest　in　the　work　reviewed；　that

would　be　fatal。　　Never　praise　heartily；　that　is　the　sign　of　an

intelligence　not　mediocre。　　Be　vague；　colourless；　and　languid；　this

deters　readers　from　approaching　the　book。　　If　you　have　glanced　at　it；

blame　it　for　not　being　what　it　never　professed　to　be；　if　it　is　a

treatise　on　Greek　Prosody；　censure　the　lack　of　humour；　if　it　is　a

volume　of　gay　verses；　lament　the　author's　indifference　to　the　sorrows

of　the　poor　or　the　wrongs　of　the　Armenians。　　If　it　has　humour；

deplore　its　lack　of　thoughtfulness；　if　it　is　grave；　carp　at　its　lack

of　gaiety。　　I　have　known　a　reviewer　of　half　a　dozen　novels　denounce

half　a　dozen　KINDS　of　novels　in　the　course　of　his　two　columns；　the

romance　of　adventure；　the　domestic　tale；　the　psychological　analysis；

the　theological　story；　the　detective's　story；　the　story　of　〃Society；〃

he　blamed　them　all　in　general；　and　the　books　before　him　in

particular；　also　the　historical　novel。　　This　can　easily　be　done；　by

dint　of　practice；　after　dipping　into　three　or　four　pages　of　your

author。　　Many　reviewers　have　special　aversions；　authors　they　detest。

Whatever　they　are　criticising；　novels；　poems；　plays；　they　begin　by　an

attack　on　their　pet　aversion；　who　has　nothing　to　do　with　the　matter

in　hand。　　They　cannot　praise　A；　B；　C；　and　D；　without　first　assailing

E。　　It　will　generally　be　found　that　E　is　a　popular　author。　　But　the

great　virtue　of　a　reviewer；　who　would　be　unreadable　and　make　others

unread；　is　a　languid　ignorant　lack　of　interest　in　all　things；　a　habit

of　regarding　his　work　as　a　tedious　task；　to　be　scamped　as　rapidly　and

stupidly　as　possible。



You　might　think　that　these　qualities　would　displease　the　reviewer's

editor。　　Not　at　all；　look　at　any　column　of　short　notices；　and　you

will　occasionally　find　that　the　critic　has　anticipated　my　advice。

There　is　no　topic　in　which　the　men　who　write　about　it　are　so　little

interested　as　contemporary　literature。　　Perhaps　this　is　no　matter　to

marvel　at。　　By　the　way；　a　capital　plan　is　not　to　write　your　review

till　the　book　has　been　out　for　two　years。　　This　is　the　favourite

dodge　of　the　…；　that　distinguished　journal。



If　any　one　has　kindly　attended　to　this　discourse；　without　desiring　to

be　a　failure；　he　has　only　to　turn　the　advice　outside　in。　　He　has　only

to　be　studious　of　the　very　best　literature；　observant；　careful；

original；　he　has　only　to　be　himself　and　not　an　imitator；　to　aim　at

excellence；　and　not　be　content　with　falling　a　little　lower　than

mediocrity。　　He　needs　but　bestow　the　same　attention　on　this　art　as

others　give　to　the　other　arts　and　other　professions。　　With　these

efforts；　and　with　a　native　and　natural　gift；　which　can　never　be

taught；　never　communicated；　and　with　his　mind　set　not　on　his　reward；

but　on　excellence；　on　style；　on　matter；　and　even　on　the　not　wholly

unimportant　virtue　of　vivacity；　a　man　will　succeed；　or　will　deserve

success。　　First；　of　course；　he　will　have　to　〃find〃　himself；　as　the

French　say；　and　if　he　does　NOT　find　an　ass；　then；　like　Saul　the　son

of　Kish；　he　may　discover　a　kingdom。　　One　success　he　can　hardly　miss；

the　happiness　of　living；　not　with　trash；　but　among　good　books；　and

〃the　mighty　minds　of　old。〃　　In　an　unpublished　letter　of　Mr。

Thackeray's；　written　before　he　was　famous；　and　a　novelist；　he　says

how　much　he　likes　writing　on　historical　subjects；　and　how　he　enjoys

historical　research。　　THE　WORK　IS　SO　GENTLEMANLY；　he　remarks。　　Often

and　often；　after　the　daily　dreadful　lines；　the　bread　and　butter

winning　lines　on　some　contemporary　folly　or　frivolity；　does　a　man

take　up　some　piece　of　work　hopelessly　unremunerative；　foredoomed　to

failure　as　far　as　money　or　fame　go；　some　dealing　with　the　classics　of

the　world；　Homer　or　Aristotle；　Lucian　or　Moliere。　　It　is　like　a　bath

after　a　day's　toil；　it　is　tonic　and　clean；　and　such　studies；　if　not

necessary　to　success；　are；　at　least；　conducive　to　mental　health　and

self…respect　in　literature。



To　the　enormous　majority　of　persons　who　risk　themselves　in

literature；　not　even　the　smallest　measure　of　success　can　fall。　　They

had　better　take　to　some　other　profession　as　quickly　as　may　be；　they

are　only　making　a　sure　thing　of　disappointment；　only　crowding　the

narrow　gates　of　fortune　and　fame。　　Yet　there　are　others　to　whom

success；　though　easily　within　their　reach；　does　not　seem　a　thing　to

be　grasped　at。　　Of　two　such；　the　pathetic　story　may　be　read；　in　the

Memoir　of　A　Scotch　Probationer；　Mr。　Thomas　Davidson；　who　died　young；

an　unplaced　Minister　of　the　United　Presbyterian　Church；　in　1869。　　He

died　young；　unaccepted　by　the　world；　unheard　of；　uncomplaining；　soon

after　writing　his　latest　song　on　the　first　grey　hairs　of　the　lady

whom　he　loved。　　And　she；　Miss　Alison　Dunlop；　died　also；　a　year　ago；

leaving　a　little　work　newly　published；　Anent　Old　Edinburgh；　in　which

is　briefly　told　the　story　of　her　life。　　There　can　hardly　be　a　true

tale　more　brave　and　honourable；　for　those　two　were　eminently

qualified　to　shine；　with　a　clear　and　modest　radiance；　in　letters。

Both　had　a　touch　of　poetry；　Mr。　Davidson　left　a　few　genuine　poems；

both　had　humour；　knowledge；　patience；　industry；　and　literary

conscientiousness。　　No　success　came　to　them；　they　did　not　even　seek

it；　though　it　was　easily　within　the　reach　of　their　powers。　　Yet　none

can　call　them　failures；　leaving；　as　they　did；　the　fragrance　of

honourable　and　uncomplaining　lives；　and　such　brief　records　of　these

as　to　delight；　and　console　and　encourage　us　all。　　They　bequeath　to　us

the　spectacle　of　a　real　triumph　far　beyond　the　petty　gains　of　money

or　of　applause；　the　spectacle　of　lives　made　happy　by　literature；

unvexed　by　notoriety；　unfretted　by　envy。　　What　we　call　success　could

never　have　yielded　them　so　much；　for　the　ways　of　authorship　are　dusty

and　stony；　and　the　stones　are　only　too　handy　for　throwing　at　the　few

that；　deservedly　or　undeservedly；　make　a　name；　and　therewith　about

one…tenth　of　the　wealth　which　is　ungrudged　to　physicians；　or

barristers；　or　stock…brokers；　or　dentists；　or　electricians。　　If

literature　and　occupation　with　letters　were　not　its　own　reward；　truly

they　who　seem　to　succeed　might　envy　those　who　fail。　　It　is　not　wealth

that　they　win；　as　fortunate　men　in　other　professions　count　wealth；　it

is　not　rank　nor　fashion　that　come　to　their　call　nor　come　to　call　on

them。　　Their　success　is　to　be　let　dwell　with　their　own　fancies；　or

with　the　imaginations　of　others　far　greater　than　themselves；　their

success　is　this　living　in　fantasy；　a　little　remote　from　the　hubbub

and　the　contests　of　the　world。　　At　the　best　they　will　be　vexed　by

curious　eyes　and　idle　tongues；　at　the　best　they　will　die　not　rich　in

this　world's　goods；　yet　not　unconsoled　by　the　friendships　which　they

win　among　men　and　women　whose　faces　they　will　never　see。　　They　may

well　be　content；　and　thrice　content；　with　their　lot；　yet　it　is　not　a

lot　which　should　provoke　envy；　nor　be　coveted　by　ambition。



It　is　not　an　easy　goal　to　attain；　as　the　crowd　of　aspirants　dream；

nor　is　the　reward　luxurious　when　it　is　attained。　　A　garland；　usually

fading　and　not　immortal；　has　to　be　run　for；　not　without　dust　and

heat。







Footnotes：





｛1｝　　As　the　writer　has　ceased　to　sift；　editorially；　the　contributions

of　the　age；　he　does　hope　that　authors　will　not　instantly　send　him

their　MSS。　　But　if　they　do；　after　this　warning；　they　will　take　the

most　direct　and　certain　road　to　the　waste　paper　basket。　　No　MSS。　will

be　returned；　even　when　accompanied　by　postage　stamps。



｛2｝　　I　have　made　a　rich　selection　of　examples　from　the　works　of

living　English　and　American　authors。　　From　the　inextensive　volumes　of

an　eminent　and　fastidious　critic　I　have　culled　a　dear　phrase　about　an

oasis　of　style　in　〃a　desert　of　literary　limpness。〃　　But　it　were

hardly　courteous；　and　might　be　dangerous；　to　publish　these　exotic

blossoms　of　art。



｛3｝　　Appreciations；　p。　18。



｛4｝　　It　was　the　custom　of　Longinus；　of　the　author　of　The　Bathos；　and

other　old　critics；　to　take　their　examples　of　how　NOT　to　do　it　from

the　works　of　famous　writers；　such　as　Sir　Richard　Blackmore　and

Herodotus。　　It　seems　altogether　safer　and　more　courteous　for　an

author　to　supply　his　own　Awful　Examples。　　The　Musical　Rights　in　the

following　Poems　are　reserved。



｛5｝　　Or；　if　you　prefer　the　other　rhyme；　read：　　And　the　wilderness　of

men。



｛6｝　　It　is　a　teachable　public：　　since　this　lecture　was　delivered　the

author　has　received　many　MSS。　from　people　who　said　they　had　heard　the

disco