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How　to　Fail　in　Literature



by　Andrew　Lang






PREFACE







This　Lecture　was　delivered　at　the　South　Kensington　Museum；　in　aid　of

the　College　for　Working　Men　and　Women。　　As　the　Publishers；　perhaps

erroneously；　believe　that　some　of　the　few　authors　who　were　not

present　may　be　glad　to　study　the　advice　here　proffered；　the　Lecture

is　now　printed。　　It　has　been　practically　re…written；　and；　like　the

kiss　which　the　Lady　returned　to　Rodolphe；　is　revu；　corrige；　et

considerablement　augmente。



A。　L。







HOW　TO　FAIL　IN　LITERATURE







What　should　be　a　man's　or　a　woman's　reason　for　taking　literature　as　a

vocation；　what　sort　of　success　ought　they　to　desire；　what　sort　of

ambition　should　possess　them？　　These　are　natural　questions；　now　that

so　many　readers　exist　in　the　world；　all　asking　for　something　new；　now

that　so　many　writers　are　making　their　pens　〃in　running　to　devour　the

way〃　over　so　many　acres　of　foolscap。　　The　legitimate　reasons　for

enlisting　（too　often　without　receiving　the　shilling）　in　this　army　of

writers　are　not　far　to　seek。　　A　man　may　be　convinced　that　he　has

useful；　or　beautiful；　or　entertaining　ideas　within　him；　he　may　hold

that　he　can　express　them　in　fresh　and　charming　language。　　He　may；　in

short；　have　a　〃vocation；〃　or　feel　conscious　of　a　vocation；　which　is

not　exactly　the　same　thing。　　There　are　〃many　thyrsus　bearers；　few

mystics；〃　many　are　called；　few　chosen。　　Still；　to　be　sensible　of　a

vocation　is　something；　nay；　is　much；　for　most　of　us　drift　without　any

particular　aim　or　predominant　purpose。　　Nobody　can　justly　censure

people　whose　chief　interest　is　in　letters；　whose　chief　pleasure　is　in

study　or　composition；　who　rejoice　in　a　fine　sentence　as　others　do　in

a　well　modelled　limb；　or　a　delicately　touched　landscape；　nobody　can

censure　them　for　trying　their　fortunes　in　literature。　　Most　of　them

will　fail；　for；　as　the　bookseller's　young　man　told　an　author　once；

they　have　the　poetic　temperament；　without　the　poetic　power。　　Still

among　these　whom　Pendennis　has　tempted；　in　boyhood；　to　run　away　from

school　to　literature　as　Marryat　has　tempted　others　to　run　away　to

sea；　there　must　be　some　who　will　succeed。　　But　an　early　and　intense

ambition　is　not　everything；　any　more　than　a　capacity　for　taking　pains

is　everything　in　literature　or　in　any　art。



Some　have　the　gift；　the　natural　incommunicable　power；　without　the

ambition；　others　have　the　ambition　but　no　other　gift　from　any　Muse。

This　class　is　the　more　numerous；　but　the　smallest　class　of　all　has

both　the　power　and　the　will　to　excel　in　letters。　　The　desire　to

write；　the　love　of　letters　may　shew　itself　in　childhood；　in　boyhood；

or　youth；　and　mean　nothing　at　all；　a　mere　harvest　of　barren　blossom

without　fragrance　or　fruit。　　Or；　again；　the　concern　about　letters　may

come　suddenly；　when　a　youth　that　cared　for　none　of　those　things　is

waning；　it　may　come　when　a　man　suddenly　finds　that　he　has　something

which　he　really　must　tell。　　Then　he　probably　fumbles　about　for　a

style；　and　his　first　fresh　impulses　are　more　or　less　marred　by　his

inexperience　of　an　art　which　beguiles　and　fascinates　others　even　in

their　school…days。



It　is　impossible　to　prophesy　the　success　of　a　man　of　letters　from　his

early　promise；　his　early　tastes；　as　impossible　as　it　is　to　predict；

from　her　childish　grace；　the　beauty　of　a　woman。



But　the　following　remarks　on　How　to　fail　in　Literature　are　certainly

meant　to　discourage　nobody　who　loves　books；　and　has　an　impulse　to

tell　a　story；　or　to　try　a　song　or　a　sermon。　　Discouragements　enough

exist　in　the　pursuit　of　this；　as　of　all　arts；　crafts；　and

professions；　without　my　adding　to　them。　　Famine　and　Fear　crouch　by

the　portals　of　literature　as　they　crouch　at　the　gates　of　the

Virgilian　Hades。　　There　is　no　more　frequent　cause　of　failure　than

doubt　and　dread；　a　beginner　can　scarcely　put　his　heart　and　strength

into　a　work　when　he　knows　how　long　are　the　odds　against　his　victory；

how　difficult　it　is　for　a　new　man　to　win　a　hearing；　even　though　all

editors　and　publishers　are　ever　pining　for　a　new　man。　　The　young

fellow；　unknown　and　unwelcomed；　who　can　sit　down　and　give　all　his

best　of　knowledge；　observation；　humour；　care；　and　fancy　to　a

considerable　work　has　got　courage　in　no　common　portion；　he　deserves

to　triumph；　and　certainly　should　not　be　disheartened　by　our　old

experience。　　But　there　be　few　beginners　of　this　mark；　most　begin　so

feebly　because　they　begin　so　fearfully。　　They　are　already　too

discouraged；　and　can　scarce　do　themselves　justice。　　It　is　easier　to

write　more　or　less　well　and　agreeably　when　you　are　certain　of　being

published　and　paid；　at　least；　than　to　write　well　when　a　dozen

rejected　manuscripts　are　cowering　（as　Theocritus　says）　in　your　chest；

bowing　their　pale　faces　over　their　chilly　knees；　outcast；　hungry；

repulsed　from　many　a　door。　　To　write　excellently；　brightly；

powerfully；　with　these　poor　unwelcomed　wanderers；　returned　MSS。；　in

your　possession；　is　difficult　indeed。　　It　might　be　wiser　to　do　as　M。

Guy　de　Maupassant　is　rumoured　to　have　done；　to　write　for　seven　years；

and　shew　your　essays　to　none　but　a　mentor　as　friendly　severe　as　M。

Flaubert。　　But　all　men　cannot　have　such　mentors；　nor　can　all　afford

so　long　an　unremunerative　apprenticeship。　　For　some　the　better　plan

is　NOT　to　linger　on　the　bank；　and　take　tea　and　good　advice；　as　Keats

said；　but　to　plunge　at　once　in　mid…stream；　and　learn　swimming　of

necessity。



One　thing；　perhaps；　most　people　who　succeed　in　letters　so　far　as　to

keep　themselves　alive　and　clothed　by　their　pens　will　admit；　namely；

that　their　early　rejected　MSS。　DESERVED　TO　BE　REJECTED。　　A　few　days

ago　there　came　to　the　writer　an　old　forgotten　beginner's　attempt　by

himself。　　Whence　it　came；　who　sent　it；　he　knows　not；　he　had　forgotten

its　very　existence。　　He　read　it　with　curiosity；　it　was　written　in　a

very　much　better　hand　than　his　present　scrawl；　and　was　perfectly

legible。　　But　READABLE　it　was　not。　　There　was　a　great　deal　of　work　in

it；　on　an　out　of　the　way　topic；　and　the　ideas　were；　perhaps；　not

quite　without　novelty　at　the　time　of　its　composition。　　But　it　was

cramped　and　thin；　and　hesitating　between　several　manners；　above　all

it　was　uncommonly　dull。　　If　it　ever　was　sent　to　an　editor；　as　I

presume　it　must　have　been；　that　editor　was　trebly　justified　in

declining　it。　　On　the　other　hand；　to　be　egotistic；　I　have　known

editors　reject　the　attempts　of　those　old　days；　and　afterwards　express

lively　delight　in　them　when　they　struggled　into　print；　somehow；

somewhere。　　These　worthy　men　did　not　even　know　that　they　had　despised

and　refused　what　they　came　afterwards　rather　to　enjoy。



Editors　and　publishers；　these　keepers　of　the　gates　of　success；　are

not　infallible；　but　their　opinion　of　a　beginner's　work　is　far　more

correct　than　his　own　can　ever　be。　　They　should　not　depress　him　quite；

but　if　they　are　long　unanimous　in　holding　him　cheap；　he　is　warned；

and　had　better　withdraw　from　the　struggle。　　He　is　either　incompetent；

or　he　has　the　makings　of　a　Browning。　　He　is　a　genius　born　too　soon。

He　may　readily　calculate　the　chances　in　favour　of　either　alternative。



So　much　by　way　of　not　damping　all　neophytes　equally：　　so　much　we　may

say　about　success　before　talking　of　the　easy　ways　that　lead　to

failure。　　And　by　success　here　is　meant　no　glorious　triumph；　the

laurels　are　not　in　our　thoughts；　nor　the　enormous　opulence　（about　a

fourth　of　a　fortunate　barrister's　gains）　which　falls　in　the　lap　of　a

Dickens　or　a　Trollope。　　Faint　and　fleeting　praise；　a　crown　with　as

many　prickles　as　roses；　a　modest　hardly…gained　competence；　a　good

deal　of　envy；　a　great　deal　of　gossipthese　are　the　rewards　of　genius

which　constitute　a　modern　literary　success。　　Not　to　reach　the

moderate　competence　in　literature　is；　for　a　professional　man　of

letters　of　all　work；　something　like　failure。　　But　in　poetry　to…day　a

man　may　succeed；　as　far　as　his　art　goes；　and　yet　may　be　unread；　and

may　publish　at　his　own　expense；　or　not　publish　at　all。　　He　pleases

himself；　and　a　very　tiny　audience：　　I　do　not　call　that　failure。　　I

regard　failure　as　the　goal　of　ignorance；　incompetence；　lack　of　common

sense；　conceited　dulness；　and　certain　practical　blunders　now　to　be

explained　and　defined。



The　most　ambitious　may　accept；　without　distrust；　the　following　advice

as　to　How　to　fail　in　Literature。　　The　advice　is　offered　by　a　mere

critic；　and　it　is　an　axiom　of　the　Arts　that　the　critics　〃are　the

fellows　who　have　failed；〃　or　have　not　succeeded。　　The　persons　who

really　can　paint；　or　play；　or　compose　seldom　tell　us　how　it　is　done；

still　less　do　they　review　the　performances　of　their　contemporaries。

That　invidious　task　they　leave　to　the　unsuccessful　novelists。　　The

instruction；　the　advice　are　offered　by　the　persons　who　cannot　achieve

performance。　　It　is　thus　that　all　things　work　together　in　favour　of

failure；　which；　indeed；　may　well　appear　so　easy　that　special

instruction；　however　competent；　is　a　luxury　rather　than　a