anecdotes of the late samuel johnson-第30节

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〃that　prevails　over　such　parents；　and　so　they　pull　the　poor　thing's　head　down；　and　give　it　the　look　of　a　baby　that　plays　about　Westminster　Bridge；　while　the　mother　sits　shivering　in　a　niche。〃

I　commended　a　young　lady　for　her　beauty　and　pretty　behaviour　one　day；　however；　to　whom　I　thought　no　objection　could　have　been　made。　　〃I　saw　her；〃　says　Dr。　Johnson；　〃take　a　pair　of　scissors　in　her　left　hand；　though；　and　for　all　her　father　is　now　become　a　nobleman；　and　as　you　say；　excessively　rich；　I　should；　were　I　a　youth　of　quality　ten　years　hence；　hesitate　between　a　girl　so　neglected；　and　a　NEGRO。〃

It　was　indeed　astonishing　how　he　COULD　remark　such　minutenesses　with　a　sight　so　miserably　imperfect；　but　no　accidental　position　of　a　ribband　escaped　him；　so　nice　was　his　observation；　and　so　rigorous　his　demands　of　propriety。　　When　I　went　with　him　to　Lichfield　and　came　downstairs　to　breakfast　at　the　inn；　my　dress　did　not　please　him；　and　he　made　me　alter　it　entirely　before　he　would　stir　a　step　with　us　about　the　town；　saying　most　satirical　things　concerning　the　appearance　I　made　in　a　riding…habit；　and　adding；　〃'Tis　very　strange　that　such　eyes　as　yours　cannot　discern　propriety　of　dress。　　If　I　had　a　sight　only　half　as　good；　I　think　I　should　see　to　the　centre。〃

My　compliances；　however；　were　of　little　worth。　　What　really　surprised　me　was　the　victory　he　gained　over　a　lady　little　accustomed　to　contradiction；　who　had　dressed　herself　for　church　at　Streatham　one　Sunday　morning　in　a　manner　he　did　not　approve；　and　to　whom　he　said　such　sharp　and　pungent　things　concerning　her　hat；　her　gown；　etc。；　that　she　hastened　to　change　them；　and　returning　quite　another　figure　received　his　applause；　and　thanked　him　for　his　reproofs；　much　to　the　amazement　of　her　husband；　who　could　scarcely　believe　his　own　ears。

Another　lady；　whose　accomplishments　he　never　denied；　came　to　our　house　one　day　covered　with　diamonds；　feathers；　etc。；　and　he　did　not　seem　inclined　to　chat　with　her　as　usual。　　I　asked　him　why；　when　the　company　was　gone。　　〃Why；　her　head　looked　so　like　that　of　a　woman　who　shows　puppets；〃　said　he；　〃and　her　voice　so　confirmed　the　fancy；　that　I　could　not　bear　her　today。　　When　she　wears　a　large　cap　I　can　talk　to　her。〃

When　the　ladies　wore　lace　trimmings　to　their　clothes　he　expressed　his　contempt　of　the　reigning　fashion　in　these　terms：　　〃A　Brussels　trimming　is　like　bread　sauce；〃　said　he；　〃it　takes　away　the　glow　of　colour　from　the　gown；　and　gives　you　nothing　instead　of　it。　　But　sauce　was　invented　to　heighten　the　flavour　of　our　food；　and　trimming　is　an　ornament　to　the　manteau　or　it　is　nothing。　　Learn；〃　said　he；　〃that　there　is　propriety　or　impropriety　in　everything　how　slight　soever；　and　get　at　the　general　principles　of　dress　and　of　behaviour；　if　you　then　transgress　them　you　will　at　least　know　that　they　are　not　observed。〃

All　these　exactnesses　in　a　man　who　was　nothing　less　than　exact　himself　made　him　extremely　impracticable　as　an　inmate；　though　most　instructive　as　companion　and　useful　as　a　friend。　　Mr。　Thrale；　too；　could　sometimes　overrule　his　rigidity　by　saying　coldly；　〃There；　there；　now　we　have　had　enough　for　one　lecture；　Dr。　Johnson。　　We　will　not　be　upon　education　any　more　till　after　dinner；　if　you　please；〃　or　some　such　speech。　　But　when　there　was　nobody　to　restrain　his　dislikes　it　was　extremely　difficult　to　find　anybody　with　whom　he　could　converse　without　living　always　on　the　verge　of　a　quarrel；　or　of　something　too　like　a　quarrel　to　be　pleasing。　　I　came　into　the　room；　for　example；　one　evening　where　he　and　a　gentleman；　whose　abilities　we　all　respect　exceedingly；　were　sitting。　　A　lady　who　walked　in　two　minutes　before　me　had　blown　'em　both　into　a　flame　by　whispering　something　to　Mr。　S…d；　which　he　endeavoured　to　explain　away　so　as　not　to　affront　the　Doctor；　whose　suspicions　were　all　alive。　　〃And　have　a　care；　sir；〃　said　he；　just　as　I　came　in；　〃the　Old　Lion　will　not　bear　to　be　tickled。〃　　The　other　was　pale　with　rage；　the　lady　wept　at　the　confusion　she　had　caused；　and　I　could　only　say　with　Lady　Macbeth

　　　　　〃Soh！　you've　displac'd　the　mirth；　broke　the　good　meeting　　　　　　　With　most　admir'd　disorder。〃

Such　accidents；　however；　occurred　too　often；　and　I　was　forced　to　take　advantage　of　my　lost　lawsuit　and　plead　inability　of　purse　to　remain　longer　in　London　or　its　vicinage。　　I　had　been　crossed　in　my　intentions　of　going　abroad；　and　found　it　convenient；　for　every　reason　of　health；　peace；　and　pecuniary　circumstances；　to　retire　to　Bath；　where　I　knew　Mr。　Johnson　would　not　follow　me；　and　where　I　could　for　that　reason　command　some　little　portion　of　time　for　my　own　use；　a　thing　impossible　while　I　remained　at　Streatham　or　at　London；　as　my　hours；　carriage；　and　servants　had　long　been　at　his　command；　who　would　not　rise　in　the　morning　till　twelve　o'clock；　perhaps；　and　oblige　me　to　make　breakfast　for　him　till　the　bell　rung　for　dinner；　though　much　displeased　if　the　toilet　was　neglected；　and　though　much　of　the　time　we　passed　together　was　spent　in　blaming　or　deriding；　very　justly；　my　neglect　of　economy　and　waste　of　that　money　which　might　make　many　families　happy。　　The　original　reason　of　our　connection；　his　PARTICULARLY　DISORDERED　HEALTH　AND　SPIRITS；　had　been　long　at　an　end；　and　he　had　no　other　ailments　than　old　age　and　general　infirmity；　which　every　professor　of　medicine　was　ardently　zealous　and　generally　attentive　to　palliate；　and　to　contribute　all　in　their　power　for　the　prolongation　of　a　life　so　valuable。　Veneration　for　his　virtue；　reverence　for　his　talents；　delight　in　his　conversation；　and　habitual　endurance　of　a　yoke　my　husband　first　put　upon　me；　and　of　which　he　contentedly　bore　his　share　for　sixteen　or　seventeen　years；　made　me　go　on　so　long　with　Mr。　Johnson；　but　the　perpetual　confinement　I　will　own　to　have　been　terrifying　in　the　first　years　of　our　friendship　and　irksome　in　the　last。　　Nor　could　I　pretend　to　support　it　without　help；　when　my　coadjutor　was　no　more。　　To　the　assistance　we　gave　him；　the　shelter　our　house　afforded　to　his　uneasy　fancies；　and　to　the　pains　we　took　to　soothe　or　repress　them；　the　world　perhaps　is　indebted　for　the　three　political　pamphlets；　the　new　edition　and　correction　of　his　〃Dictionary；〃　and　for　the　〃Poets'　Lives；〃　which　he　would　scarce　have　lived；　I　think；　and　kept　his　faculties　entire　to　have　written；　had　not　incessant　care　been　exerted　at　the　time　of　his　first　coming　to　be　our　constant　guest　in　the　country；　and　several　times　after　that；　when　he　found　himself　particularly　oppressed　with　diseases　incident　to　the　most　vivid　and　fervent　imaginations。　　I　shall　for　ever　consider　it　as　the　greatest　honour　which　could　be　conferred　on　any　one　to　have　been　the　confidential　friend　of　Dr。　Johnson's　health；　and　to　have　in　some　measure；　with　Mr。　Thrale's　assistance；　saved　from　distress　at　least；　if　not　worse；　a　mind　great　beyond　the　comprehension　of　common　mortals；　and　good　beyond　all　hope　of　imitation　from　perishable　beings。

Many　of　our　friends　were　earnest　that　he　should　write　the　lives　of　our　famous　prose　authors；　but　he　never　made　any　answer　that　I　can　recollect　to　the　proposal；　excepting　when　Sir　Richard　Musgrave　once　was　singularly　warm　about　it；　getting　up　and　entreating　him　to　set　about　the　work　immediately；　he　coldly　replied；　〃SIT　DOWN；　SIR！〃

When　Mr。　Thrale　built　the　new　library　at　Streatham；　and　hung　up　over　the　books　the　portraits　of　his　favourite　friends；　that　of　Dr。　Johnson　was　last　finished；　and　closed　the　number。　　It　was　almost　impossible　NOT　to　make　verses　on　such　an　accidental　combination　of　circumstances；　so　I　made　the　following　ones。　　But　as　a　character　written　in　verse　will　for　the　most　part　be　found　imperfect　as　a　character；　I　have　therefore　written　a　prose　one；　with　which　I　mean；　not　to　complete；　but　to　conclude　these　〃Anecdotes〃　of　the　best　and　wisest　man　that　ever　came　within　the　reach　of　my　personal　acquaintance；　and　I　think　I　might　venture　to　add；　that　of　all　or　any　of　my　readers：

　　　　　Gigantic　in　knowledge；　in　virtue；　in　strength；　　　　　　Our　company　closes　with　JOHNSON　at　length；　　　　　　So　the　Greeks　from　the　cavern　of　Polypheme　past；　　　　　　When　wisest；　and　greatest；　Ulysses　came　last。　　　　　　To　his　comrades　contemptuous　we　see　him　look　down；　　　　　　On　their　wit　and　their　worth　with　a　general　frown。　　　　　　Since　from　Science'　proud　tree　the　rich　fruit　he　receives；　　　　　　Who　could　shake　the　whole　trunk　while　they　turned　a　few　leaves。　　　　　　His　piety　pure；　his　morality　nice　　　　　　Protector　of　virtue；　and　terror　of　vice；　　　　　　In　these　features　Religion's　firm　champion　displayed；　　　　　　Shall　make　infidels　fear　for　a　modern　crusade。　　　　　　While　th'　inflammable　temper；　the　positive　tongue；　　　　　　Too　conscious　of　right　for　endurance　of　wrong：　　　　　　We　suffer　from　JOHNSON；　contented　to　find；　　　　　　That　some　notice　we　gain　from　so　noble　a　mind；　　　　　　And　pardon　our　hurts；　since　so　often　we've　found　　　　　　The　balm　of　instruction　poured　into　the　wound。　　　　　　'Tis　thus　for　its　virtues　the　chemists　extol　　　　　　Pure　rectified　spirit；　sublime　alcohol；　　　　　　From　noxious　putrescence；　preservative　pure；　　　　　　A　cordial　in　health；　and　in　sickness　a　cure；　　　　　　But　exposed　to　the　sun；　taking　fire　at　his　rays；　　　　　　Burns　bright　to　the　bottom；　and　ends　in　a　blaze。

It　is　usual；　I　know　not　why；　when　a　character　is　given；　to　begin　with　a　description　of　the　person。　　That　which　containe