lost face(丢失的脸)-第14节
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late to get over Chilcoot Pass before the freeze…up。 We packed our outfit
on our backs part way over； when the snow began to fly； and then we had
to buy dogs in order to sled it the rest of the way。 That was how we came
to get that Spot。 Dogs were high； and we paid one hundred and ten
dollars for him。 He looked worth it。 I say LOOKED； because he was
one of the finest…appearing dogs I ever saw。 He weighed sixty pounds； and
he had all the lines of a good sled animal。 We never could make out his
breed。 He wasn't husky； nor Malemute； nor Hudson Bay； he looked like
all of them and he didn't look like any of them； and on top of it all he had
some of the white man's dog in him； for on one side； in the thick of the
mixed yellow… brown…red…and…dirty…white that was his prevailing colour；
there was a spot of coal…black as big as a water…bucket。 That was why
we called him Spot。
He was a good looker all right。 When he was in condition his
muscles stood out in bunches all over him。 And he was the strongest…
looking brute I ever saw in Alaska； also the most intelligent…looking。 To
run your eves over him； you'd think he could outpull three dogs of his own
weight。 Maybe he could； but I never saw it。 His intelligence didn't run
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that way。 He could steal and forage to perfection； he had an instinct that
was positively gruesome for divining when work was to be done and for
making a sneak accordingly； and for getting lost and not staying lost he
was nothing short of inspired。 But when it came to work； the way that
intelligence dribbled out of him and left him a mere clot of wobbling；
stupid jelly would make your heart bleed。
There are times when I think it wasn't stupidity。 Maybe； like some
men I know； he was too wise to work。 I shouldn't wonder if he put it all
over us with that intelligence of his。 Maybe he figured it all out and
decided that a licking now and again and no work was a whole lot better
than work all the time and no licking。 He was intelligent enough for such
a computation。 I tell you； I've sat and looked into that dog's eyes till the
shivers ran up and down my spine and the marrow crawled like yeast；
what of the intelligence I saw shining out。 I can't express myself about
that intelligence。 It is beyond mere words。 I saw it； that's all。 At times
it was like gazing into a human soul； to look into his eyes； and what I saw
there frightened me and started all sorts of ideas in my own mind of
reincarnation and all the rest。 I tell you I sensed something big in that
brute's eyes； there was a message there； but I wasn't big enough myself to
catch it。 Whatever it was （I know I'm making a fool of myself）
whatever it was； it baffled me。 I can't give an inkling of what I saw in
that brute's eyes； it wasn't light； it wasn't colour； it was something that
moved； away back； when the eyes themselves weren't moving。 And I
guess I didn't see it move either； I only sensed that it moved。 It was an
expressionthat's what it wasand I got an impression of it。 No； it was
different from a mere expression； it was more than that。 I don't know
what it was； but it gave me a feeling of kinship just the same。 Oh； no； not
sentimental kinship。 It was； rather； a kinship of equality。 Those eyes
never pleaded like a deer's eyes。 They challenged。 No； it wasn't
defiance。 It was just a calm assumption of equality。 And I don't think it
was deliberate。 My belief is that it was unconscious on his part。 It was
there because it was there； and it couldn't help shining out。 No； I don't
mean shine。 It didn't shine； it MOVED。 I know I'm talking rot； but if
you'd looked into that animal's eyes the way I have； you'd understand。
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Steve was affected the same way I was。 Why； I tried to kill that Spot
oncehe was no good for anything； and I fell down on it。 I led him out
into the brush； and he came along slow and unwilling。 He knew what
was going on。 I stopped in a likely place； put my foot on the rope； and
pulled my big Colt's。 And that dog sat down and looked at me。 I tell
you he didn't plead。 He just looked。 And I saw all kinds of
incomprehensible things moving； yes； MOVING； in those eyes of his。 I
didn't really see them move； I thought I saw them； for； as I said before； I
guess I only sensed them。 And I want to tell you right now that it got
beyond me。 It was like killing a man； a conscious； brave man； who
looked calmly into your gun as much as to say； 〃Who's afraid？〃
Then； too； the message seemed so near that； instead of pulling the
trigger quick； I stopped to see if I could catch the message。 There it was；
right before me； glimmering all around in those eyes of his。 And then it
was too late。 I got scared。 I was trembly all over； and my stomach
generated a nervous palpitation that made me seasick。 I just sat down
and looked at the dog； and he looked at me； till I thought I was going crazy。
Do you want to know what I did？ I threw down the gun and ran back to
camp with the fear of God in my heart。 Steve laughed at me。 But I notice
that Steve led Spot into the woods； a week later； for the same purpose； and
that Steve came back alone； and a little later Spot drifted back； too。
At any rate； Spot wouldn't work。 We paid a hundred and ten dollars
for him from the bottom of our sack； and he wouldn't work。 He wouldn't
even tighten the traces。 Steve spoke to him the first time we put him in
harness； and he sort of shivered； that was all。 Not an ounce on the traces。
He just stood still and wobbled； like so much jelly。 Steve touched him
with the whip。 He yelped； but not an ounce。 Steve touched him again；
a bit harder； and he howledthe regular long wolf howl。 Then Steve got
mad and gave him half a dozen； and I came on the run from the tent。
I told Steve he was brutal with the animal； and we had some words
the first we'd ever had。 He threw the whip down in the snow and walked
away mad。 I picked it up and went to it。 That Spot trembled and
wobbled and cowered before ever I swung the lash； and with the first bite
of it he howled like a lost soul。 Next he lay down in the snow。 I started
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the rest of the dogs； and they dragged him along while I threw the whip
into him。 He rolled over on his back and bumped along； his four legs
waving in the air； himself howling as though he was going through a
sausage machine。 Steve came back and laughed at me； and I apologized
for what I'd said。
There was no getting any work out of that Spot； and to make up for it；
he was the biggest pig…glutton of a dog I ever saw。 On top of that； he was
the cleverest thief。 There was no circumventing him。 Many a breakfast
we went without our bacon because Spot had been there first。 And it was
because of him that we nearly starved to death up the Stewart。 He
figured out the way to break into our meat… cache； and what he didn't eat；
the rest of the team did。 But he was impartial。 He stole from everybody。
He was a restless dog； always very busy snooping around or going
somewhere。 And there was never a camp within five miles that he didn't
raid。 The worst of it was that they always came back on us to pay his
board bill； which was just； being the law of the land； but it w
