rasselas, prince of abyssinia-第22节
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weakens confidence and chills benevolence。 When the sage finds that you are not what you seemed； he will feel the resentment natural to a man who； conscious of great abilities； discovers that he has been tricked by understandings meaner than his own； and perhaps the distrust which he can never afterwards wholly lay aside may stop the voice of counsel and close the hand of charity； and where will you find the power of restoring his benefactions to mankind； or his peace to himself？〃
To this no reply was attempted； and Imlac began to hope that their curiosity would subside； but next day Pekuah told him she had now found an honest pretence for a visit to the astronomer； for she would solicit permission to continue under him the studies in which she had been initiated by the Arab； and the Princess might go with her； either as a fellow…student； or because a woman could not decently come alone。 〃I am afraid；〃 said Imlac； 〃that he will soon be weary of your company。 Men advanced far in knowledge do not love to repeat the elements of their art； and I am not certain that even of the elements； as he will deliver them； connected with inferences and mingled with reflections； you are a very capable auditress。〃 〃That；〃 said Pekuah； 〃must be my care。 I ask of you only to take me thither。 My knowledge is perhaps more than you imagine it； and by concurring always with his opinions I shall make him think it greater than it is。〃
The astronomer； in pursuance of this resolution； was told that a foreign lady； travelling in search of knowledge； had heard of his reputation； and was desirous to become his scholar。 The uncommonness of the proposal raised at once his surprise and curiosity； and when after a short deliberation he consented to admit her； he could not stay without impatience till the next day。
The ladies dressed themselves magnificently； and were attended by Imlac to the astronomer； who was pleased to see himself approached with respect by persons of so splendid an appearance。 In the exchange of the first civilities he was timorous and bashful； but when the talk became regular； he recollected his powers； and justified the character which Imlac had given。 Inquiring of Pekuah what could have turned her inclination towards astronomy； he received from her a history of her adventure at the Pyramid； and of the time passed in the Arab's island。 She told her tale with ease and elegance； and her conversation took possession of his heart。 The discourse was then turned to astronomy。 Pekuah displayed what she knew。 He looked upon her as a prodigy of genius； and entreated her not to desist from a study which she had so happily begun。
They came again and again； and were every time more welcome than before。 The sage endeavoured to amuse them； that they might prolong their visits； for he found his thoughts grow brighter in their company； the clouds of solitude vanished by degrees as he forced himself to entertain them； and he grieved when he was left； at their departure； to his old employment of regulating the seasons。
The Princess and her favourite had now watched his lips for several months； and could not catch a single word from which they could judge whether he continued or not in the opinion of his preternatural commission。 They often contrived to bring him to an open declaration； but he easily eluded all their attacks； and； on which side soever they pressed him； escaped from them to some other topic。
As their familiarity increased； they invited him often to the house of Imlac； where they distinguished him by extraordinary respect。 He began gradually to delight in sublunary pleasures。 He came early and departed late； laboured to recommend himself by assiduity and compliance； excited their curiosity after new arts； that they might still want his assistance； and when they made any excursion of pleasure or inquiry； entreated to attend them。
By long experience of his integrity and wisdom； the Prince and his sister were convinced that he might be trusted without danger； and lest he should draw any false hopes from the civilities which he received； discovered to him their condition； with the motives of their journey； and required his opinion on the choice of life。
〃Of the various conditions which the world spreads before you which you shall prefer；〃 said the sage； 〃I am not able to instruct you。 I can only tell that I have chosen wrong。 I have passed my time in study without experience … in the attainment of sciences which can for the most part be but remotely useful to mankind。 I have purchased knowledge at the expense of all the common comforts of life； I have missed the endearing elegance of female friendship； and the happy commerce of domestic tenderness。 If I have obtained any prerogatives above other students； they have been accompanied with fear； disquiet； and scrupulosity； but even of these prerogatives； whatever they were； I have； since my thoughts have been diversified by more intercourse with the world； begun to question the reality。 When I have been for a few days lost in pleasing dissipation； I am always tempted to think that my inquiries have ended in error； and that I have suffered much； and suffered it in vain。〃
Imlac was delighted to find that the sage's understanding was breaking through its mists； and resolved to detain him from the planets till he should forget his task of ruling them； and reason should recover its original influence。
From this time the astronomer was received into familiar friendship； and partook of all their projects and pleasures； his respect kept him attentive； and the activity of Rasselas did not leave much time unengaged。 Something was always to be done； the day was spent in making observations； which furnished talk for the evening； and the evening was closed with a scheme for the morrow。
The sage confessed to Imlac that since he had mingled in the gay tumults of life； and divided his hours by a succession of amusements； he found the conviction of his authority over the skies fade gradually from his mind； and began to trust less to an opinion which he never could prove to others； and which he now found subject to variation； from causes in which reason had no part。 〃If I am accidentally left alone for a few hours；〃 said he； 〃my inveterate persuasion rushes upon my soul； and my thoughts are chained down by some irresistible violence； but they are soon disentangled by the Prince's conversation； and instantaneously released at the entrance of Pekuah。 I am like a man habitually afraid of spectres； who is set at ease by a lamp； and wonders at the dread which harassed him in the dark； yet； if his lamp be extinguished； feels again the terrors which he knows that when it is light he shall feel no more。 But I am sometimes afraid； lest I indulge my quiet by criminal negligence； and voluntarily forget the great charge with which I am entrusted。 If I favour myself in a known error； or am determined by my own ease in a doubtful question of this importance； how dreadful is my crime！〃
〃No disease of the imagination；〃 answered Imlac； 〃is so difficult of cure as that which is complicated with the dread of guilt； fancy and conscience then act interchangeably upon us； and so often shift their places； that the illusions of one are not distinguished from the dictates of the other。 If fancy presents images not moral or religious； the mind drives them away when they give it pain； but when melancholy notions take the form of duty； they lay hold on the faculties without opposition； because we are afraid to exclude or banish them。 For this reason the superstitious are often melancholy； and the melancholy almost always superstitious。
〃But do not let the suggestions of timidity overpower your better reason； the danger of neglect can be but as the probability of the obligation； which； when you consider it with freedom； you find very little； and that little growing every day less。 Open your heart to the influence of the light； which from time to time breaks in upon you； when scruples importune you； which you in your lucid moments know to be vain； do not stand to parley； but fly to business or to Pekuah； and keep this thought always prevalent； that you are only one atom of the mass of humanity； and have neither such virtue nor vice as that you should be singled out for supernatural favours or afflictions。〃
CHAPTER XLVII … THE PRINCE ENTERS； AND BRINGS A NEW TOPIC。
〃ALL this；〃 said the astronomer； 〃I have often thought； but my reason has been so long subjugated by an uncontrollable and overwhelming idea； that it durst not confide in its own decisions。 I now see how fatally I betrayed my quiet； by suffering chimeras to prey upon me in secret； but melancholy shrinks from communication； and I never found a man before to whom I could impart my troubles； though I had been certain of relief。 I rejoice to find my own sentiments confirmed by yours； who are not easily deceived； and can have no motive or purpose to deceive。 I hope that time and variety will dissipate the gloom that has so long surrounded me； and the latter part of my days will be spent in peace。〃
〃Your learning and virtu
