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第32节

cabin fever-第32节

小说: cabin fever 字数: 每页4000字

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of stopping his crying; and should yield to the temptingness of him just as Bud bad yielded; would have seemed to Alpine still more unlikely; because no Indian had ever kidnapped a white child in that neighborhood。 So much for the habit of thinking along grooves established by precedent

Marie went to Sacramento merely because that was the closest town of any size; where she could wait for the news she dreaded to receive yet must receive before she could even begin to face her tragedy。 She did not want to find Bud now。 She shrank from any thought of him。 Only for him; she would still have her Lovin Child。 Illogically she blamed Bud for what had happened。 He had caused her one more great heartache; and she hoped never to see him again or to hear his name spoken。

Dully she settled down in a cheap; semi…private boarding house to wait。 In a day or two she pulled herself together and went out to look for work; because she must have money to live on。 Go home to her mother she would not。 Nor did she write to her。 There; too; her great hurt had flung some of the blame。 If her mother had not interfered and found fault all the time with Bud; they would be living together nowhappy。 It was her mother who had really brought about their separation。 Her mother would nag at her now for going after Bud; would say that she deserved to lose her baby as a punishment for letting go her pride and self… respect。 No; she certainly did not want to see her mother; or any one else she had ever known。 Bud least of all。

She found work without much trouble; for she was neat and efficient looking; of the type that seems to belong in a well… ordered office; behind a typewriter desk near a window where the sun shines in。 The place did not require much concentrationa dentist's office; where her chief duties consisted of opening the daily budget of circulars; sending out monthly bills; and telling pained…looking callers that the doctor was out just then。 Her salary just about paid her board; with a dollar or two left over for headache tablets and a vaudeville show now and then。 She did not need much spending money; for her evenings were spent mostly in crying over certain small garments and a canton…flannel dog called 〃Wooh…wooh。〃

For three months she stayed; too apathetic to seek a better position。 Then the dentist's creditors became suddenly impatient; and the dentist could not pay his office rent; much less his office girl。 Wherefore Marie found herself looking for work again; just when spring was opening all the fruit blossoms and merchants were smilingly telling one another that business was picking up。

Weinstock…Lubin's big department store gave her desk space in the mail…order department。 Marie's duty it was to open the mail; check up the orders; and see that enough money was sent; and start the wheels moving to fill each orderto the satisfaction of the customer if possible。

At first the work worried her a little。 But she became accustomed to it; and settled into the routine of passing the orders along the proper channels with as little individual thought given to each one as was compatible with efficiency。 She became acquainted with some of the girls; and changed to a better boarding house。 She still cried over the wooh…wooh and the little garments; but she did not cry so often; nor did she buy so many headache tablets。 She was learning the futility of grief and the wisdom of turning her back upon sorrow when she could。 The sight of a two…year…old baby boy would still bring tears to her eyes; and she could not sit through a picture show that had scenes of children and happy married couples; but she fought the pain of it as a weakness which she must overcome。 Her Lovin Child was gone; she had given up everything but the sweet; poignant memory of how pretty he had been and how endearing。

Then; one morning in early June; her practiced fingers were going through the pile of mail orders and they singled out one that carried the postmark of Alpine。 Marie bit her lips; but her fingers did not falter in their task。 Cheap table linen; cheap collars; cheap suits or cheap something…or…other was wanted; she had no doubt。 She took out the paper with the blue money order folded inside; speared the money order on the hook with others; drew her order pad closer; and began to go through the list of articles wanted。

This was the list:

XL  94; 3  Dig in the mud suits; 3 yr at 59c    1。77 XL  14  1  Buddy tucker suit 3 yr                2。00 KL   6  1  Bunny pumps infant 5                  1。25 KL  54  1  Fat Ankle shoe infant 5                。98 HL 389  4  Rubens vests; 3 yr at 90c             2。70 SL 418  3  Pajamas 3 yr。 at 59c                  1。77 OL 823  1  Express wagon; 15x32 in。              4。25                                                                                                   14。22

  For which money order is enclosed。 Please ship at once。

                             Very truly;                                         R。 E。 MOORE;                                            Alpine; Calif。

Mechanically she copied the order on a slip of paper which she put into her pocket; left her desk and her work and the store; and hurried to her boarding house。

Not until she was in her own room with the door locked did she dare let herself think。 She sat down with the copy spread open before her; her slim fingers pressing against her temples。 Something amazing had been revealed to hersomething so amazing that she could scarcely comprehend its full significance。 Budnever for a minute did she doubt that it was Bud; for she knew his handwriting too well to be mistakenBud was sending for clothes for a baby boy!

〃3 Dig in the mud suits; 3 yr〃 it sounded; to the hungry mother soul of her; exactly like her Lovin Child。 She could see so vividly just how he would look in them。 And the sizeshe certainly would buy than three…year size; if she were buying for Lovin Child。 And the little 〃Buddy tucker〃 suitthat; too; sounded like Lovin Child。 He mustBud certainly must have him up there with him! Then Lovin Child was not drowned at all; but alive and needing dig…in…the…muds。

〃Bud's got him! Oh; Bud has got him; I know he's got him!〃 she whispered over and over to herself in an ecstasy of hope。 〃My little Lovin Man! He's up there right now with his Daddy Bud〃

A vague anger stirred faintly; flared; died almost; flared again and burned steadily within her。 Bud had her Lovin Child! How did he come to have him; then; unless he stole him? Stole him away; and let her suffer all this while; believing her baby was dead in the river!

〃You devil!〃 she muttered; gritting her teeth when that thought formed clearly in her mind。 〃Oh; you devil; you! If you think you can get away with a thing like thatYou devil!〃



CHAPTER TWENTY…TWO。 THE CURE COMPLETE

In Nelson Flat the lupines were like spilled bluing in great; acre…wide blots upon the meadow grass。 Between cabin and creek bank a little plot had been spaded and raked smooth; and already the peas and lettuce and radishes were up and growing as if they knew how short would be the season; and meant to take advantage of every minute of the warm days。 Here and there certain plants were lifting themselves all awry from where they had been pressed flat by two small feet that had strutted heedlessly down the rows。

The cabin yard was clean; and the two small windows were curtained with cheap; white scrim。 All before the door and on the path to the creek small footprints were scattered thick。 It was these that Marie pulled up her hired saddle horse to study in hot resentment。

〃The big brute!〃 she gritted; and got off and went to the cabin door; walking straight…backed and every mental and physical fiber of her braced for the coming struggle。 She even regretted not having a gun; rather; she wished that she was not more afraid of a gun than of any possible need of one。 She felt; at that minute; as though she could shoot Bud Moore with no more compunction that she would feel in swatting a fly。

That the cabin was empty and unlocked only made her blood boil the hotter。 She went in and looked around at the crude furnishings and the small personal belongings of those who lived there。 She saw the table all set ready for the next meal; with the extremely rustic high…chair that had DYNAMITE painted boldly on the side of the box seat。 Fastened to a nail at one side of the box was a belt; evidently kept there for the purpose of strapping a particularly wriggly young person into the chair。 That smacked strongly of Lovin Child; sure enough。 Marie remembered the various devices by which she had kept him in his go cart。

She went closer and inspected the belt indignantly。 Just as she expectedit was Bud's belt; his old belt that she bought for him just after they were married。 She supposed that box beside the queer high chair was where he would sit at table and stuff her baby with all kinds of things he shouldn't eat。 Where was her baby? A fresh spasm of longing for Lovin Child drove her from the cabin。 Find him she would; and that no matter how cunningly Bud had hidden him away。

On a rope stretched between a young cottonwood tree in full leaf and a scaly; red…barked cedar; clothes that had been washed we

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