annals of the parish(教区年鉴)-第33节
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pleasant punch…bowl； while Dr。 Tanzey had all the requisite knowledge for
the faculty for the bedside。
It was in this year that the hour…plate and hand on the kirk steeple were
renewed； as indeed； may yet be seen by the date； though it be again greatly
in want of fresh gilding； for it was by my advice that the figures of the
Ann。 Dom。 were placed one in each corner。 In this year； likewise； the
bridge over the Brawl burn was builta great convenience； in the winter
time； to the parishioners that lived on the north side； for when there
happened to be a spait on the Sunday； it kept them from the kirk； but I did
not find that the bridge mended the matter； till after the conclusion of the
war against the democrats； and the beginning of that which we are now
waging with Boney； their child and champion。 It is； indeed； wonderful to
think of the occultation of grace that was taking place about this time；
throughout the whole bound of Christendom； for I could mark a visible
darkness of infidelity spreading in the corner of the vineyard committed to
my keeping； and a falling away of the vines from their wonted props and
confidence in the truths of Revelation。 But I said nothing。 I knew that
the faith could not be lost； and that it would be found purer and purer the
more it was tried； and this I have lived to see； many now being zealous
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members of the church； that were abundantly lukewarm at the period of
which I am now speaking。
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CHAPTER XXXII YEAR 1791
In the spring of this year； I took my son Gilbert into Glasgow； to place
him in a counting…house。 As he had no inclination for any of the learned
professions； and not having been there from the time when I was sent to
the General Assembly； I cannot express my astonishment at the great
improvements； surpassing far all that was done in our part of the country；
which I thought was not to be paralleled。 When I came afterwards to
reflect on my simplicity in this； it was clear to me that we should not judge
of the rest of the world by what we see going on around ourselves； but
walk abroad into other parts； and thereby enlarge our sphere of
observation； as well as ripen our judgment of things。
But although there was no doubt a great and visible increase of the city；
loftier buildings on all sides； and streets that spread their arms far into the
embraces of the country； I thought the looks of the population were
impaired； and that there was a greater proportion of long white faces in the
Trongate； than when I attended the Divinity class。 These； I was told；
were the weavers and others concerned in the cotton trade； which I could
well believe； for they were very like in their looks to the men of
Cayenneville； but from living in a crowded town； and not breathing a
wholesome country air between their tasks； they had a stronger cast of
unhealthy melancholy。 I was therefore very glad that Providence had
placed in my hand the pastoral staff of a country parish； for it cut me to the
heart to see so many young men； in the rising prime of life； already in the
arms of a pale consumption。 〃If； therefore；〃 said I to Mrs Balwhidder；
when I returned home to the manse； 〃we live； as it were； within the narrow
circle of ignorance； we are spared from the pain of knowing many an evil；
and； surely； in much knowledge there is sadness of heart。〃
But the main effect of this was to make me do all in my power to keep
my people contented with their lowly estate； for in that same spirit of
improvement； which was so busy every where； I could discern something
like a shadow； that showed it was not altogether of that pure advantage
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which avarice led all so eagerly to believe。 Accordingly； I began a series of
sermons on the evil and vanity of riches； and； for the most part of the year；
pointed out in what manner they led the possessor to indulge in sinful
luxuries； and how indulgence begat desire； and desire betrayed integrity
and corrupted the heart； making it evident that the rich man was liable to
forget his unmerited obligations to God； and to oppress the laborious and
the needful when he required their services。
Little did I imagine； in thus striving to keep aloof the ravenous wolf
Ambition from my guileless flock； that I was giving cause for many to
think me an enemy to the king and government； and a perverter of
Christianity； to suit levelling doctrines。 But so it was。 Many of the
heritors considered me a blackneb； though I knew it not； but went on in the
course of my duty； thinking only how best to preserve peace on earth and
goodwill towards men。 I saw； however； an altered manner in the
deportment of several； with whom I had long lived in friendly terms。 It
was not marked enough to make me inquire the cause； but sufficiently
plain to affect my ease of mind。 Accordingly； about the end of this year； I
fell into a dull way： my spirit was subdued； and at times I was aweary of
the day； and longed for the night； when I might close my eyes in peaceful
slumbers。 I missed my son Gilbert； who had been a companion to me in
the long nights； while his mother was busy with the lasses； and their
ceaseless wheels and cardings； in the kitchen。 Often could I have found
it in my heart to have banned that never…ceasing industry； and to tell Mrs
Balwhidder； that the married state was made for something else than to
make napery and beetle blankets； but it was her happiness to keep all at
work； and she had no pleasure in any other way of life； so I sat many a
night by the fireside with resignation； sometimes in the study； and
sometimes in the parlour； and； as I was doing nothing； Mrs Balwhidder
said it was needless to light the candle。 Our daughter Janet was in this
time at a boarding…school in Ayr； so that I was really a most solitary
married man。
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CHAPTER XXXIII YEAR 1792
When the spring in this year began to brighten on the brae； the cloud
of dulness that had darkened and oppressed me all the winter somewhat
melted away； and I could now and then joke again at the never…ending toil
and trouble of that busiest of all bees； the second Mrs Balwhidder。 But
still I was far from being right： a small matter affected me； and I was
overly given to walking by myself； and musing on things that I could tell
nothing aboutmy thoughts were just the rack of a dream without form；
and driving witlessly as the smoke that mounteth up； and is lost in the airy
heights of the sky。
Heeding little of what was going on in the clachan； and taking no
interest in the concerns of any body； I would have been contented to die；
but I had no ail about me。 An accident； however； fell out； that； by calling
on me for an effort； had the blessed influence of clearing my vapours
almost entirely away。
One morning as I was walking on the sunny side of the road； where the
footpath was in the next year made to the cotton…mill； I fell in with Mr
Cayenne； who was seemingly much fasheda small matter could do that at
any time； and he came up to me with a red face and an angry eye。 It was
not my intent to speak to him； for I was grown loth to enter into
conversation with any body； so I bowed and passed on。 〃What；〃 cried Mr
Cayenne； 〃and will you not speak to me？〃
