annals of the parish(教区年鉴)-第16节
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On New…Year's night； this year； a thing happened； which； in its own
nature； was a trifle； but it turned out as a mustard…seed that grows into a
great tree。 One of the elders； who has long been dead and gone； came to
the manse about a fact that was found out in the clachan； and after we had
discoursed on it some time； he rose to take his departure。 I went with
him to the door with the candle in my handit was a clear frosty night；
with a sharp wind； and the moment I opened the door； the blast blew out
the candle； so that I heedlessly； with the candlestick in my hand； walked
with him to the yett without my hat； by which I took a sore cold in my
head； that brought on a dreadful toothache； insomuch； that I was obligated
to go into Irville to get the tooth drawn； and this caused my face to swell
to such a fright； that； on the Sabbath…day； I could not preach to my people。
There was； however； at that time； a young man； one Mr Heckletext； tutor
in Sir Hugh Montgomerie's family； and who had shortly before been
licensed。 Finding that I would not be able to preach myself； I sent to him；
and begged he would officiate for me； which he very pleasantly consented
to do； being； like all the young clergy； thirsting to show his light to the
world。 'Twixt the fore and afternoon's worship； he took his check of
dinner at the manse； and I could not but say that he seemed both discreet
and sincere。 Judge； however； what was brewing； when the same night Mr
Lorimore came and told me； that Mr Heckletext was the suspected person
anent the fact that had been instrumental； in the hand of a chastising
Providence； to afflict me with the toothache； in order； as it afterwards
came to pass； to bring the hidden hypocrisy of the ungodly preacher to
light。 It seems that the donsie lassie who was in fault； had gone to the
kirk in the afternoon； and seeing who was in the pulpit； where she
expected to see me； was seized with the hysterics； and taken with her
crying on the spot； the which being untimely； proved the death of both
mother and bairn； before the thing was properly laid to the father's charge。
This caused a great uproar in the parish。 I was sorely blamed to let
such a man as Mr Heckletext go up into my pulpit； although I was as
ignorant of his offences as the innocent child that perished； and； in an
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unguarded hour； to pacify some of the elders； who were just distracted
about the disgrace； I consented to have him called before the session。 He
obeyed the call； and in a manner that I will never forget； for he was a
sorrow of sin and audacity； and demanded to know why； and for what
reason； he was summoned。 I told him the whole affair in my calm and
moderate way； but it was oil cast upon a burning coal。 He flamed up in a
terrible passion； threepit at the elders that they had no proof whatever of
his having had any trafficking in the business； which was the case； for it
was only a notion； the poor deceased lassie never having made a
disclosure： called them libellous conspirators against his character； which
was his only fortune； and concluded by threatening to punish them； though
he exempted me from the injury which their slanderous insinuations had
done to his prospects in life。 We were all terrified； and allowed him to go
away without uttering a word； and sure enough he did bring a plea in the
courts of Edinburgh against Mr Lorimore and the elders for damages； laid
at a great sum。
What might have been the consequence； no one can tell； but soon after
he married Sir Hugh's house…keeper； and went with her into Edinburgh；
where he took up a school； and； before the trial came on； that is to say；
within three months of the day that I myself married them； Mrs Heckletext
was delivered of a thriving lad bairn； which would have been a witness for
the elders； had the worst come to the worst。 This was； indeed； we all
thought； a joyous deliverance to the parish； and it was a lesson to me never
to allow any preacher to mount my pulpit； unless I knew something of his
moral character。
In other respects； this year passed very peaceably in the parish： there
was a visible increase of worldly circumstances； and the hedges which had
been planted along the toll…road； began to put forth their branches； and to
give new notions of orderlyness and beauty to the farmers。 Mrs Malcolm
heard from time to time from her son Charles； on board the man…of…war
the Avenger； where he was midshipman； and he had found a friend in the
captain； that was just a father to him。 Her second son； Robert； being out
of his time at Irville； went to the Clyde to look for a berth； and was hired
to go to Jamaica； in a ship called the Trooper。 He was a lad of greater
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sobriety of nature than Charles； douce； honest； and faithful； and when he
came home； though he brought no limes to me to make punch； like his
brother； he brought a Muscovy duck to Lady Macadam； who had； as I
have related； in a manner educated his sister Kate。 That duck was the
first of the kind we had ever seen； and many thought it was of the goose
species； only with short bowly legs。 It was； however； a tractable and
homely beast； and after some confabulation； as my lady herself told Mrs
Balwhidder； it was received into fellowship by her other ducks and poultry。
It is not； however； so much on account of the rarity of the creature； that I
have introduced it here； as for the purpose of relating a wonderful
operation that was performed on it by Miss Sabrina； the schoolmistress。
There happened to be a sack of beans in our stable； and Lady
Macadam's hens and fowls； which were not overly fed at home through
the inattention of her servants； being great stravaigers for their meat； in
passing the door went in to pick； and the Muscovy； seeing a hole in the
bean…sack； dabbled out a crapful before she was disturbed。 The beans
swelled on the poor bird's stomach； and her crap bellied out like the kyte
of a Glasgow magistrate； until it was just a sight to be seen with its head
back on its shoulders。 The bairns of the clachan followed it up and down；
crying； the lady's muckle jock's aye growing bigger； till every heart was
wae for the creature。 Some thought it was afflicted with a tympathy； and
others； that it was the natural way for such…like ducks to cleck their young。
In short； we were all concerned； and my lady； having a great opinion of
Miss Sabrina's skill； had a consultation with her on the case； at which Miss
Sabrina advised； that what she called the Caesarean operation should be
tried； which she herself performed accordingly； by opening the creature's
crap； and taking out as many beans as filled a mutchkin stoup； after which
she sewed it up； and the Muscovy went its way to the water…side； and
began to swim； and was as jocund as ever； insomuch； that in three days
after it was quite cured of all the consequences of its surfeit。
I had at one time a notion to send an account of this to the Scots
Magazine； but something always came in the way to prevent me； so that it
has been reserved for a place in this chronicle； being； after Mr Heckletext's
affair； the most memorable thing in our history of this year。
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CHAPTER XIV YEAR 1773
In this Ann。 Dom。 there was something like a plea getting to a head；
between the session and some of the heritors； about a new school… house；
the thatch having been torn from the rigging of the old one by a blast of
wind； on the first Monday of February； by which a great snow storm got
admission； and the school was rendered utterly uninhabitable。 The
smaller sort of
