white lies-第45节
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but not complete success。
Disguising the uneasiness this discovery gave her; she looked her visitor full in the face; and said mildly; but a little coldly; 〃Well; Jacintha?〃
Jacintha lowered her eyes and muttered slowly;
〃The doctorcomesto…day;〃 then raised her eyes all in a moment to take Josephine off her guard; but the calm face was impenetrable。 So then Jacintha added; 〃to our misfortune;〃 throwing in still more meaning。
〃To our misfortune? A dear old friendlike him?〃
Jacintha explained。 〃That old man makes me shake。 You are never safe with him。 So long as his head is in the clouds; you might take his shoes off; and on he'd walk and never know it; but every now and then he comes out of the clouds all in one moment; without a word of warning; and when he does his eye is on everything; like a bird's。 Then he is so old: he has seen a heap。 Take my word for it; the old are more knowing than the young; let them be as sharp as you like: the old have seen everything。 WE have only heard talk of the most part; with here and there a glimpse。 To know life to the bottom you must live it out; from the soup to the dessert; and that is what the doctor has done; and now he is coming here。 And Mademoiselle Rose will go telling him everything; and if she tells him half what she has seen; your secret will be no secret to that old man。〃
〃My secret!〃 gasped Josephine; turning pale。
〃Don't look so; madame: don't be frightened at poor Jacintha。 Sooner or later you MUST trust somebody besides Mademoiselle Rose。〃
Josephine looked at her with inquiring; frightened eyes。
Jacintha drew nearer to her。
〃Mademoiselle;I beg pardon; madame;I carried you in my arms when I was a child。 When I was a girl you toddled at my side; and held my gown; and lisped my name; and used to put your little arms round my neck; and kissed me; you would; and if ever I had the least pain or sickness your dear little face would turn as sorrowful; and all the pretty color leave it for Jacintha; and now you are in trouble; in sore trouble; yet you turn away from me; you dare not trust me; that would be cut in pieces ere I would betray you。 Ah; mademoiselle; you are wrong。 The poor can feel: they have all seen trouble; and a servant is the best of friends where she has the heart to love her mistress; and do not I love you? Pray do not turn from her who has carried you in her arms; and laid you to sleep upon her bosom; many's and many's the time。〃
Josephine panted audibly。 She held out her hand eloquently to Jacintha; but she turned her head away and trembled。
Jacintha cast a hasty glance round the room。 Then she trembled too at what she was going to say; and the effect it might have on the young lady。 As for Josephine; terrible as the conversation had become; she made no attempt to evade it: she remained perfectly passive。 It was the best way to learn how far Jacintha had penetrated her secret; if at all。
Jacintha looked fearfully round and whispered in Josephine's ear; 〃When the news of Colonel Raynal's death came; you wept; but the color came back to your cheek。 When the news of his life came; you turned to stone。 Ah! my poor young lady; there has been more between you and THAT MAN than should be。 Ever since one day you all went to Frejus together; you were a changed woman。 I have seen you look at him asas a wife looks at her man。 I have seen HIM〃
〃Hush; Jacintha! Do not tell me what you have seen: oh! do not remind me of joys I pray God to help me forget。 He was my husband; then!oh; cruel Jacintha; to remind me of what I have been; of what I am! Ah me! ah me! ah me!〃
〃Your husband!〃 cried Jacintha in utter amazement。
Then Josephine drooped her head on this faithful creature's shoulder; and told her with many sobs the story I have told you。 She told it very briefly; for it was to a woman who; though little educated; was full of feeling and shrewdness; and needed but the bare facts: she could add the rest from her own heart and experience: could tell the storm of feelings through which these two unhappy lovers must have passed。 Her frequent sighs of pity and sympathy drew Josephine on to pour out all her griefs。 When the tale was ended she gave a sigh of relief。
〃It might have been worse: I thought it was worse the more fool I。 I deserve to have my head cut off。〃 This was Jacintha's only comment at that time。
It was Josephine's turn to be amazed。 〃It could have been worse?〃 said she。 〃How? tell me;〃 added she bitterly。 〃It would be a consolation to me; could I see that。〃
Jacintha colored and evaded this question; and begged her to go on; to keep nothing back from her。 Josephine assured her she had revealed all。 Jacintha looked at her a moment in silence。
〃It is then as I half suspected。 You do not know all that is before you。 You do not see why I am afraid of that old man。〃
〃No; not of him in particular。〃
〃Nor why I want to keep Mademoiselle Rose from prattling to him?〃
〃No。 I assure you Rose is to be trusted; she is wisewiser than I am。〃
〃You are neither of you wise。 You neither of you know anything。 My poor young mistress; you are but a child still。 You have a deep water to wade through;〃 said Jacintha; so solemnly that Josephine trembled。 〃A deep water; and do not see it even。 You have told me what is past; now I must tell you what is coming。 Heaven help me! But is it possible you have no misgiving? Tell the truth; now。〃
〃Alas! I am full of them; at your words; at your manner; they fly around me in crowds。〃
〃Have you no ONE?〃
〃No。〃
〃Then turn your head from me a bit; my sweet young lady; I am an honest woman; though I am not so innocent as you; and I am forced against my will to speak my mind plainer than I am used to。〃
Then followed a conversation; to detail which might anticipate our story; suffice it to say; that Rose; coming into the room rather suddenly; found her sister weeping on Jacintha's bosom; and Jacintha crying and sobbing over her。
She stood and stared in utter amazement。
Dr。 Aubertin; on his arrival; was agreeably surprised at Madame Raynal's appearance。 He inquired after her appetite。
〃Oh; as to her appetite;〃 cried the baroness; 〃that is immense。〃
〃Indeed!〃
〃It was;〃 explained Josephine; 〃just when I began to get better; but now it is as much as usual。〃 This answer had been arranged beforehand by Jacintha。 She added; 〃The fact is; we wanted to see you; doctor; and my ridiculous ailments were a good excuse for tearing you from Paris。〃〃And now we have succeeded;〃 said Rose; 〃let us throw off the mask; and talk of other things; above all; of Paris; and your eclat。〃
〃For all that;〃 persisted the baroness; 〃she was ill; when I first wrote; and very ill too。〃
〃Madame Raynal;〃 said the doctor solemnly; 〃your conduct has been irregular; once ill; and your illness announced to your medical adviser; etiquette forbade you to get well but by his prescriptions。 Since; then; you have shown yourself unfit to conduct a malady; it becomes my painful duty to forbid you henceforth ever to be ill at all; without my permission first obtained in writing。〃
This badinage was greatly relished by Rose; but not at all by the baroness; who was as humorless as a swan。
He stayed a month at Beaurepaire; then off to Paris again: and being now a rich man; and not too old to enjoy innocent pleasures; he got a habit of running backwards and forwards between the two places; spending a month or so at each alternately。 So the days rolled on。 Josephine fell into a state that almost defies description; her heart was full of deadly wounds; yet it seemed; by some mysterious; half…healing balm; to throb and ache; but bleed no more。 Beams of strange; unreasonable complacency would shoot across her; the next moment reflection would come; she would droop her head; and sigh piteously。 Then all would merge in a wild terror of detection。 She seemed on the borders of a river of bliss; new; divine; and inexhaustible: and on the other bank mocking malignant fiends dared her to enter that heavenly stream。 The past to her was full of regrets; the future full of terrors; and empty of hope。 Yet she did not; could not succumb。 Instead of the listlessness and languor of a few months back; she had now more energy than ever; at times it mounted to irritation。 An activity possessed her: it broke out in many feminine ways。 Among the rest she was seized with what we men call a cacoethes of the needle: 〃a raging desire〃 for work。 Her fingers itched for work。 She was at it all day。 As devotees retire to pray; so she to stitch。 On a wet day she would often slip into the kitchen; and ply the needle beside Jacintha: on a dry day she would hide in the old oak…tree; and sit like a mouse; and ply the tools of her craft; and make things of no mortal use to man or woman; and she tried little fringes of muslin upon her white hand; and held it up in front of her; and smiled; and then moaned。 It was winter; and Rose used sometimes to bring her out a thick shawl; as she sat in the old oak…tree stitching; but Josephine nearly always declined it。 SHE WAS NEARLY IMPERVIOUS TO COLD。
Then; her purse being better filled than formerly; she visited the poor more than ever; and