white lies-第36节

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〃Are　you；　dear？　then　hook　this　for　me。〃

〃Yes；　love。　　But　I　sometimes　think　you　would　forgive　me　if　you　knew　how　hard　I　pray　to　be　better。　　Rose；　I　do　try　so　to　be　as　unhappy　as　I　ought；　but　I　can't；　I　can't。　　My　cold　heart　seems　as　dead　to　unhappiness　as　once　it　was　to　happiness。　　Am　I　a　heartless　woman　after　all？〃

〃Not　altogether；〃　said　Rose　dryly。　　〃Fasten　my　collar；　dear；　and　don't　torment　yourself。　　You　have　suffered　much　and　nobly。　　It　was　Heaven's　will：　you　bowed　to　it。　　It　was　not　Heaven's　will　that　you　should　be　blighted　altogether。　　Bow　in　this；　too；　to　Heaven's　will：　take　things　as　they　come；　and　do　cease　to　try　and　reconcile　feelings　that　are　too　opposite　to　live　together。〃

〃Ah！　these　are　such　comfortable　words；　Rose；　but　mamma　will　see　this　dreadful　color　in　my　cheek；　and　what　can　I　say　to　her？〃

〃Ten　to　one　it　will　not　be　observed；　and　if　it　should；　I　will　say　it　is　the　excitement　of　seeing　Edouard。　　Leave　all　to　me。〃

Josephine　greeted　Edouard　most　affectionately；　drew　from　him　his　whole　history；　and　petted　him　and　sympathized　with　him　deliciously；　and　made　him　the　hero　of　the　evening。　　Camille；　who　was　not　naturally　of　a　jealous　temper；　bore　this　very　well　at　first；　but　at　last　he　looked　so　bitter　at　her　neglect　of　him；　that　Rose　took　him　aside　to　soothe　him。　　Edouard；　missing　the　auditor　he　most　valued；　and　seeing　her　in　secret　conference　with　the　brilliant　colonel；　felt　a　return　of　the　jealous　pangs　that　had　seized　him　at　first　sight　of　the　man；　and　so　they　played　at　cross　purposes。

At　another　period　of　the　evening　the　conversation　became　more　general；　and　Edouard　took　a　dislike　to　Colonel　Dujardin。　　A　young　man　of　twenty…eight　nearly　always　looks　on　a　boy　of　twenty…one　with　the　air　of　a　superior；　and　this　assumption；　not　being　an　ill…natured　one；　is　apt　to　be　so　easy　and　so　undefined　that　the　younger　hardly　knows　how　to　resent　or　to　resist　it。　　But　Edouard　was　a　little　vain　as　we　know；　and　the　Colonel　jarred　him　terribly。　　His　quick　haughty　eye　jarred　him。　　His　regimentals　jarred　him：　they　fitted　like　a　glove。　　His　mustache　and　his　manner　jarred　him；　and；　worst　of　all；　his　cool　familiarity　with　Rose；　who　seemed　to　court　him　rather　than　be　courted　by　him。　　He　put　this　act　of　Rose's　to　the　colonel's　account；　according　to　the　custom　of　lovers；　and　revenged　himself　in　a　small　way　by　telling　Josephine　in　her　ear　〃that　the　colonel　produced　on　his　mind　the　effect　of　an　intolerable　puppy。〃

Josephine　colored　up　and　looked　at　him　with　a　momentary　surprise。　She　said　quietly；　〃Military　men　do　give　themselves　some　airs；　but　he　is　very　amiable　at　bottom。　　You　must　make　a　better　acquaintance　with　him；　and　then　he　will　reveal　to　you　his　nobler　qualities。〃〃Oh！　I　have　no　particular　desire；〃　sneered　unlucky　Edouard。　　Sweet　as　Josephine　was；　this　was　too　much　for　her：　she　said　nothing；　but　she　quietly　turned　Edouard　over　to　Aubertin；　and　joined　Rose；　and　under　cover　of　her　had　a　sweet　timid　chat　with　her　falsely　accused。

This　occupied　the　two　so　entirely　that　Edouard　was　neglected。　　This　hurt　his　foible；　and　seemed　to　be　so　unkind　on　the　very　first　day　of　his　return　that　he　made　his　adieus　to　the　baroness；　and　marched　off　in　dudgeon　unobserved。

Rose　missed　him　first；　but　said　nothing。

When　Josephine　saw　he　was　gone；　she　uttered　a　little　exclamation；　and　looked　at　Rose。　　Rose　put　on　a　mien　of　haughty　indifference；　but　the　water　was　in　her　eyes。

Josephine　looked　sorrowful。

When　they　talked　over　everything　together　at　night；　she　reproached　herself。　　〃We　behaved　ill　to　poor　Edouard：　we　neglected　him。〃

〃He　is　a　little　cross；　ill…tempered　fellow；〃　said　Rose　pettishly。

〃Oh；　no！　no！〃

〃And　as　vain　as　a　peacock。〃

〃Has　he　not　some　right　to　be　vain　in　this　house？〃

〃Yes；no。　　I　am　very　angry　with　him。　　I　won't　hear　a　word　in　his　favor；〃　said　Rose　pouting：　then　she　gave　his　defender　a　kiss。　　〃Yes；　dear；〃　said　Josephine；　answering　the　kiss；　and　ignoring　the　words；　〃he　is　a　dear；　and　he　is　not　cross；　nor　so　very　vain；　poor　boy！　now　don't　you　see　what　it　was？〃

〃No。〃

〃Yes；　you　do；　you　little　cunning　thing：　you　are　too　shrewd　not　to　see　everything。〃

〃No；　indeed；　Josephine；　do　tell　me；　don't　keep　me　waiting：　I　can't　bear　that。〃

〃Well；　thenjealous！　　A　little。〃

〃Jealous？　　Oh；　what　fun！　　Of　Camille？　　Ha！　ha！　　Little　goose！〃

〃And；〃　said　Josephine　very　seriously；　〃I　almost　think　he　would　be　jealous　of　any　one　that　occupied　your　attention。　　I　watched　him　more　or　less　all　the　evening。〃

〃All　the　better。　　I'll　torment　my　lord。〃

〃Heaven　forbid　you　should　be　so　cruel。〃

〃Oh！　I　will　not　make　him　unhappy；　but　I'll　tease　him　a　little；　it　is　not　in　nature　to　abstain。〃

This　foible　detected　in　her　lover；　Rose　was　very　gay　at　the　prospect　of　amusement　it　afforded　her。

And　I　think　I　have　many　readers　who　at　this　moment　are　awaiting　unmixed　enjoyment　and　hilarity　from　the　same　source。

I　wish　them　joy　of　their　prospect。

Edouard　called　the　next　day：　he　wore　a　gloomy　air。　　Rose　met　this　with　a　particularly　cheerful　one；　on　this；　Edouard's　face　cleared　up；　and　he　was　himself　again；　agreeable　as　this　was；　Rose　felt　a　little　disappointed。　　〃I　am　afraid　he　is　not　very　jealous　after　all；〃　thought　she。

Josephine　left　her　room　this　day　and　mingled　once　more　with　the　family。　　The　bare　sight　of　her　was　enough　for　Camille　at　first；　but　after　awhile　he　wanted　more。　　He　wanted　to　be　often　alone　with　her；　but　several　causes　co…operated　to　make　her　shy　of　giving　him　many　such　opportunities：　first；　her　natural　delicacy；　coupled　with　her　habit　of　self…denial；　then　her　fear　of　shocking　her　mother；　and　lastly　her　fear　of　her　own　heart；　and　of　Camille；　whose　power　over　her　she　knew。　　For　Camille；　when　he　did　get　a　sweet　word　alone　with　her；　seemed　to　forget　everything　except　that　she　was　his　betrothed；　and　that　he　had　come　back　alive　to　marry　her。　　He　spoke　to　her　of　his　love　with　an　ardor　and　an　urgency　that　made　her　thrill　with　happiness；　but　at　the　same　time　shrink　with　a　certain　fear　and　self…　reproach。　　Possessed　with　a　feeling　no　stronger　than　hers；　but　single；　he　did　not　comprehend　the　tumult；　the　trouble；　the　daily　contest　in　her　heart。　　The　wind　seemed　to　him　to　be　always　changing；　and　hot　and　cold　the　same　hour。　　Since　he　did　not　even　see　that　she　was　acting　in　hourly　fear　of　her　mother's　eye；　he　was　little　likely　to　penetrate　her　more　hidden　sentiments；　and　then　he　had　not　touched　her　key…note；self…denial。

Women　are　self…denying　and　uncandid。　　Men　are　self…indulgent　and　outspoken。

And　this　is　the　key　to　a　thousand　double　misunderstandings；　for　believe　me；　good　women　are　just　as　stupid　in　misunderstanding　men　as　honest　men　are　in　misunderstanding　women。

To　Camille；　Josephine's　fluctuations；　joys；　tremors；　love；　terror；　modesty；　seemed　one　grand　total；　caprice。　　The　component　parts　of　it　he　saw　not；　and　her　caprice　tortured　him　almost　to　madness。　　Too　penitent　to　give　way　again　to　violent　passion；　he　gently　fretted。　His　health　retrograded　and　his　temper　began　to　sour。　　The　eye　of　timid　love　that　watched　him　with　maternal　anxiety　from　under　its　long　lashes　saw　this　with　dismay；　and　Rose；　who　looked　into　her　sister's　bosom；　devoted　herself　once　more　to　soothe　him　without　compromising　Josephine's　delicacy。　　Matters　were　not　so　bad　but　what　a　fine　sprightly　girl　like　Rose　could　cheer　up　a　dejected　but　manly　colonel；　and　Rose　was　generally　successful。

But　then；　unfortunately；　this　led　to　a　fresh　mystification。　Riviere's　natural　jealousy　revived；　and　found　constant　food　in　the　attention　Rose　paid　Camille；　a　brilliant　colonel　living　in　the　house　while　he；　poor　wretch；　lived　in　lodgings。　　The　false　position　of　all　the　parties　brought　about　some　singular　turns。　　I　give　from　their　number　one　that　forms　a　link；　though　a　small　one；　in　my　narrative。

One　day　Edouard　came　to　tell　Rose　she　was　making　him　unhappy；　he　had　her　alone　in　the　Pleasaunce；　she　received　him　with　a　radiant　smile；　and　they　had　a　charming　talk；a　talk　all　about　HIM：　what　the　family　owed　him；　etc。

On　this；　his　late　jealousy　and　sense　of　injury　seemed　a　thing　of　three　years　ago；　and　never　to　return。　　So　hard　it　is　for　the　loving　heart　to　resist　its　sun。

Jacintha　came　with　a　message　from　the　colonel：　〃Would　it　be　agreeable　to　Mademoiselle　Rose　to　walk　with　him　at　the　usual　hour？〃

〃Certainly；〃　said　Rose。

As　Jacintha　was　retiring　Edouard　called　to　her　to　stop　a　minute。

Then；　turning　to　Rose；　he　begged　her　very　ceremoniously　to　reconsider　that　determination。

〃What　determination？〃

〃To　sacrifice　me　to　this　Colonel　Dujardin。〃　　Still　politely；　only　a　little　grimly。

Rose　opened　her　eyes。　　〃Are　you　mad？〃　inquired　she　with　quiet　hauteur。

〃Neither　mad　nor　a　fool；〃　was　the　reply。　　〃I　love　you　too　well　to　share　your　regard　with　any　one；　upon　any　terms；　least　of　all　upon　these；　that　there　is　to　be　a　man　in　the　world　at　whose　beck　and　call　you　are　to　be；　and　at　whose　orders　you　are　to　break　off　an　interview　with　me。　　Perdition！〃

〃Dear　Edouard；　what　folly！　　Can　you　suspect　me　of　discourtesy；　as　well　as　ofI　know　not　what。　　Colonel　Dujardin　will　join　us；　that　is　all；　and　we　shall　take　a　little　walk　with　him。〃

〃Not　I。　　I　decline　the　intrusion；　you　are　engaged　with　me；　and　I　have　things　to　say　to　you　that　are　not　fit　for　th