3 eclipse月食-第18节
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“Well； that just sucks！” I snapped。 “I guess I’m stuck with Mike Newton after all。”
Jacob flinched back and bit his lip。 I could see that my words had hurt him； but I was too mad to feel bad
about that yet。 He dropped my wrist and folded his arms across his chest； turning from me to glare toward the
ocean。
“I’m human；” he muttered； his voice almost inaudible。
“You’re not as human as Mike；” I continued ruthlessly。 “Do you still think that’s the most important
consideration？”
“It’s not the same thing。” Jacob didn’t look away from the gray waves。 “I didn’t choose this。”
I laughed once in disbelief。 “Do you think Edward did？ He didn’t know what was happening to him any
more than you did。 He didn’t exactly sign up for this。”
Jacob was shaking his head back and forth with a small； quick movement。
“You know； Jacob； you’re awfully self…righteous — considering that you’re a werewolf and all。”
“It’s not the same；” Jacob repeated； glowering at me。
“I don’t see why not。 You could be a bit more understanding about the Cullens。 You have no idea how
truly good they are — to the core； Jacob。”
He frowned more deeply。 “They shouldn’t exist。 Their existence goes against nature。”
I stared at him for a long moment with one eyebrow raised incredulously。 It was a while before he noticed。
“What？”
“Speaking of unnatural 。 。 。 ；” I hinted。
“Bella；” he said； his voice slow and different。 Aged。 I realized that he sounded suddenly older than me —
like a parent or a teacher。 “What I am was born in me。 It’s a part of who I am； who my family is； who we all
are as a tribe — it’s the reason why we’re still here。
“Besides that” — he looked down at me； his black eyes unreadable — “I am stillhuman。”
He picked up my hand and pressed it to his fever…warm chest。 Through his t…shirt； I could feel the steady
beating of his heart under my palm。
“Normal humans can’t throw motorcycles around the way you can。”
He smiled a faint； half…smile。 “Normal humans run away from monsters； Bella。 And I never claimed to be
normal。 Just human。”
Staying angry with Jacob was too much work。 I started to smile as I pulled my hand away from his chest。
“You look plenty human to me；” I allowed。 “At the moment。”
“I feel human。” He stared past me； his face far away。 His lower lip trembled； and he bit down on it hard。
“Oh； Jake；” I whispered； reaching for his hand。
This was why I was here。 This was why I would take whatever reception waited for me when I got back。
Because； underneath all the anger and the sarcasm； Jacob was in pain。 Right now； it was very clear in his eyes。
I didn’t know how to help him； but I knew I had to try。 It was more than that I owed him。 It was because his
pain hurt me； too。 Jacob had become a part of me； and there was no changing that now。
5。 IMPRINT
“ARE YOU OKAY； JAKE？ CHARLIE SAID YOU WERE HAVING a hard time。 。 。 。 Isn’t it getting any better？”
His warm hand curled around mine。 “’S not so bad；” he said； but he wouldn’t meet my eyes。
He walked slowly back to the driftwood bench； staring at the rainbow…colored pebbles； and pulling me
along at his side。 I sat back down on our tree； but he sat on the wet； rocky ground rather than next to me。 I
wondered if it was so that he could hide his face more easily。 He kept my hand。
I started babbling to fillthe silence。 “It’s been so long since I was here。 I’ve probably missed a ton of
things。 How are Sam and Emily？ And Embry？ Did Quil —？”
I broke off mid…sentence； remembering that Jacob’s friend Quil had been a sensitive subject。
“Ah； Quil；” Jacob sighed。
So then it must have happened — Quil must have joined the pack。
“I’m sorry；” I mumbled。
To my surprise； Jacob snorted。 “Don’t say that to him。”
“What do you mean？”
“Quil’s not looking for pity。 Just the opposite — he’s jazzed。 Totally thrilled。”
This made no sense to me。 All the other wolves had been so depressed at the idea of their friend sharing
their fate。 “Huh？”
Jacob tilted his head back to look at me。 He smiled and rolled his eyes。
“Quil thinks it’s the coolest thing that’s ever happened to him。 Part of it is finally knowing what’s going on。
And he’s excited to have his friends back — to be part of the ‘in crowd。’” Jacob snorted again。 “Shouldn’t be
surprised； I guess。 It’s so Quil。”
“He likes it？”
“Honestly 。 。 。 most of them do；” Jacob admitted slowly。 “There are definitely good sides to this — the
speed； the freedom； the strength 。 。 。 the sense of — of family。 。 。 。 Sam and I are the only ones who ever felt
really bitter。 And Sam got past that a long time ago。 So I’m the crybaby now。” Jacob laughed at himself。
There were so many things I wanted to know。 “Why are you and Sam different？ What happened to Sam
anyway？ What’s his problem？” The questions tumbled out without room to answer them； and Jacob laughed
again。
“That’s a long story。”
“I told you a long story。 Besides； I’m not in any hurry to get back；” I said； and then I grimaced as I
thought of the trouble I would be in。
He looked up at me swiftly； hearing the double edge in my words。 “Will he be mad at you？”
“Yes；” I admitted。 “He really hates it when I do things he considers 。 。 。 risky。”
“Like hanging out with werewolves。”
“Yeah。”
Jacob shrugged。 “So don’t go back。 I’ll sleep on the couch。”
“That’s a great idea；” I grumbled。 “Because then he would come looking for me。”
Jacob stiffened； and then smiled bleakly。 “Would he？”
“If he was afraid I was hurt or something — probably。”
“My idea’s sounding better all the time。”
“Please； Jake。 That really bugs me。”
“What does？”
“That you two are so ready to kill each other！” I complained。 “It makes me crazy。 Why can’t you both
just be civilized？”
“Is he ready to kill me？” Jacob asked with a grim smile； unconcerned by my anger。
“Not like you seem to be！” I realized I was yelling。 “At least he can be a grown…up about this。 He knows
that hurting you would hurt me — and so he never would。 You don’t seem to care about that at all！”
“Yeah； right；” Jacob muttered。 “I’m sure he’s quite the pacifist。”
“Ugh！” I ripped my hand out of his and shoved his head away。 Then I pulled my knees up to my chest and
wrapped my arms tightly around them。
I glared out toward the horizon； fuming。
Jacob was quiet for a few minutes。 Finally； he got up off the ground and sat beside me； putting his arm
around my shoulders。 I shook it off。
“Sorry；” he said quietly。 “I’ll try to behave myself。”
I didn’t answer。
“Do you still want to hear about Sam？” he offered。
I shrugged。
“Like I said； it’s a long story。 And very 。 。 。 strange。 There’re so many strange things about this new life。 I
haven’t had time to tell you the half of it。 And this thing with Sam — well； I don’t know if I’ll even be able to
explain it right。”
His words pricked my curiosity in spite of my irritation。
“I’m listening；” I said stiffly。
Out of the corner of my eye； I saw the side of his face pull up in a smile。
“Sam had it so much harder than the rest of us。 Because he was the first； and he was alone； and he didn’t
have anyone to tell him what was happening。 Sam’s grandfather died before he was born； and his father has
never been around。 There was no one there to recognize the signs。 The first time it happened — the first time
he phased — he thought he’d gone insane。 It took him two weeks to calm down enough to change back。
“This was before you came to Forks； so you wouldn’t remember。 Sam’s mother and Leah Clearwater
had the forest rangers searching for him； the police。 People thought there had been an accident or something。 。
。 。”
“Leah？” I asked； surprised。 Leah was Harry’s daughter。 Hearing her name sent an automatic surge of pity
through me。 Harry Clearwater； Charlie’s life…long friend； had died of a heart attack this past spring。
His voice changed； became heavier。 “Yeah。 Leah and Sam were high school sweethearts。 They started
dating when she was just a freshman。 She was frantic when he disappeared。”
“But he and Emily —”
“I’ll get to that — it’s part of the story；” he said。 He inhaled slowly； and then exhaled in a gust。
I supposed it was silly for me to imagine that Sam had never loved anyone before Emily。 Most people fall
in and out of love many times in their lives。 It was just that I’d seen Sam with Emily； and I couldn’t imagine him
with someone else。 The way he looked at her 。 。 。 well； it reminded me of a look I’d seen sometimes in
Edward’s eyes — when he was looking at me。
“Sam came back；” Jacob said； “but he wouldn’t talk to anyone about where he’d been。 Rumors flew —
that he was up to no good； mo
