a book of scoundrels-第28节

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ways　with　him；　and　another's　well…filled　pocket；　since；　sensible　of　danger；　he　cared　not　to　risk　his　neck　for　a　purse　that　did　not　contain　so　much　as　would　‘sweeten　a　grawler。'　　At　its　best；　his　method　was　always　wittythat　is　the　single　word　which　will　characterise　itwitty　as　a　piece　of　Heine's　prose；　and　as　dangerous。　　He　would　run　over　a　man's　pockets　while　he　spoke　with　him；　returning　what　he　chose　to　discard　without　the　lightest　breath　of　suspicion。　　‘A　good　workman；'　his　contemporaries　called　him；　and　they　thought　it　a　shame　for　him　to　be　idle。　　Moreover；　he　did　not　blunder　unconsciously　upon　his　triumph；　he　tackled　the　trade　in　so　fine　a　spirit　of　analysis　that　he　might　have　been　the　very　Aristotle　of　his　science。　　‘The　keek…cloy；'　he　wrote；　in　his　hints　to　young　sportsmen；　‘is　easily　picked。　　If　the　notes　are　in　the　long　fold　just　tip　them　the　forks；　but　if　there　is　a　purse　or　open　money　in　the　case；　you　must　link　it。'　　The　breast…pocket；　on　the　other　hand；　is　a　severer　test。　　‘Picking　the　suck　is　sometimes　a　kittle　job；'　again　the　philosopher　speaks。　　‘If　the　coat　is　buttoned　it　must　be　opened　by　slipping　past。　　Then　bring　the　lil　down　between　the　flap　of　the　coat　and　the　body；　keeping　your　spare　arm　across　your　man's　breast；　and　so　slip　it　to　a　comrade；　then　abuse　the　fellow　for　jostling　you。'


Not　only　did　he　master　the　tradition　of　thievery；　he　vaunted　his　originality　with　the　familiar　complacence　of　the　scoundrel。　　Forgetting　that　it　was　by　burglary　that　he　was　undone；　he　explains　for　his　public　glorification　that　he　was　wont　to　enter　the　houses　of　Leith　by　forcing　the　small　window　above　the　outer　door。　　This　artifice；　his　vanity　grumbles；　is　now　common；　but　he　would　have　all　the　world　understand　that　it　was　his　own　invention；　and　he　murmurs　with　the　pedantry　of　the　convicted　criminal　that　it　is　now　set　forth　for　the　better　protection　of　honest　citizens。　　No　less　admirable　in　his　own　eyes　was　that　other　artifice　which　induced　him　to　conceal　such　notes　as　he　managed　to　filch　in　the　collar　of　his　coat。　　Thus　he　eluded　the　vigilance　of　the　police；　which　searched　its　prey　in　those　days　with　a　sorry　lack　of　cunning。　　In　truth；　Haggart's　wits　were　as　nimble　as　his　fingers；　and　he　seldom　failed　to　render　a　profitable　account　of　his　talents。　　He　beguiled　one　of　his　sojourns　in　gaol　by　manufacturing　tinder　wherewith　to　light　the　prisoners'　pipes；　and　it　is　not　astonishing　that　he　won　a　general　popularity。　　In　Ireland；　when　the　constables　would　take　him　for　a　Scot；　he　answered　in　high　Tipperary；　and　saved　his　skin　for　a　while　by　a　brogue　which　would　not　have　shamed　a　modern　patriot。　　But　quick　as　were　his　wits；　his　vanity　always　outstripped　them；　and　no　hero　ever　bragged　of　his　achievements　with　a　louder　effrontery。


　　　　　Now　all　you　ramblers　in　mourning　go；　　　　　　For　the　prince　of　ramblers　is　lying　low；　　　　　　And　all　you　maidens　that　love　the　game；　　　　　　Put　on　your　mourning　veils　again。

Thus　he　celebrated　his　downfall　in　a　ballad　that　has　the　true　Newgate　ring；　and　verily　in　his　own　eyes　he　was　a　hero　who　carried　to　the　scaffold　a　dauntless　spirit　unstained　by　treachery。

He　believed　himself　an　adept　in　all　the　arts；　as　a　squire　of　dames　he　held　himself　peerless；　and　he　assured　the　ineffable　Combe；　who　recorded　his　flippant　utterance　with　a　credulous　respect；　that　he　had　sacrificed　hecatombs　of　innocent　virgins　to　his　importunate　lust。　　Prose　and　verse　trickled　with　equal　facility　from　his　pen；　and　his　biography　is　a　masterpiece。　　Written　in　the　pedlar's　French　as　it　was　misspoken　in　the　hells　of　Edinburgh；　it　is　a　narrative　of　uncommon　simplicity　and　directness；　marred　now　and　again　by　such　superfluous　reflections　as　are　the　natural　result　of　thievish　sentimentality。　　He　tells　his　tale　without　paraphrase　or　adornment；　and　the　worthy　Writer　to　the　Signet；　who　prepared　the　work　for　the　Press；　would　have　asked　three　times　the　space　to　record　one…half　the　adventures。　　‘I　sunk　upon　it　with　my　forks　and　brought　it　with　me'；　‘We　obtained　thirty…three　pounds　by　this　affair'is　there　not　the　stalwart　flavour　of　the　epic　in　these　plain；　unvarnished　sentences？

His　other　accomplishments　are　pallid　in　the　light　of　his　brilliant　left　hand。　　Once；　at　Derryhe　attended　a　cock…　fight；　and　beguiled　an　interval　by　emptying　the　pockets　of　a　lucky　bookmaker。　　An　expert；　who　watched　the　exploit　in　admiration；　could　not　withhold　a　compliment。　　‘You　are　the　Switcher；'　he　exclaimed；　‘some　take　all；　but　you　leave　nothing。'　　And　it　is　as　the　Switcher　that　Haggart　keeps　his　memory　green。



II　GENTLEMAN　HARRY

GENTLEMAN　HARRY

‘DAMN　ye　both！　stop；　or　I　will　blow　your　brains　out！'　　Thus　it　was　that　Harry　Simms　greeted　his　victims；　proving　in　a　phrase　that　the　heroic　age　of　the　rumpad　was　no　more。　　Forgotten　the　debonair　courtesy　of　Claude　Duval！　　Forgotten　the　lightning　wit；　the　swift　repartee　of　the　incomparable　Hind！　　No　longer　was　the　hightoby…gloak　a　‘gentleman'　of　the　road；　he　was　a　butcher；　if　not　a　beggar；　on　horseback；　a　braggart　without　the　courage　to　pull　a　trigger；　a　swashbuckler；　oblivious　of　that　ancient　style　which　converted　the　misery　of　surrender　into　a　privilege。　　Yet　Harry　Simms；　the　supreme　adventurer　of　his　age；　was　not　without　distinction；　his　lithe　form　and　his　hard…ridden　horse　were　the　common　dread　of　England；　his　activity　was　rewarded　with　a　princely　treasure；　and　if　his　method　were　lacking　in　urbanity；　the　excuse　is　that　he　danced　not　to　the　brilliant　measure　of　the　Cavaliers；　but　limped　to　the　clumsy　fiddle…scraping　of　the　early　Georges。

At　Eton；　where　a　too…indulgent　grandmother　had　placed　him；　he　ransacked　the　desks　of　his　school…fellows；　and　avenged　a　birching　by　emptying　his　master's　pockets。　　Wherefore　he　lost　the　hope　of　a　polite　education；　and　instead　of　proceeding　with　a　clerkly　dignity　to　King's　College；　in　the　University　of　Cambridge；　he　was　ignominiously　apprenticed　to　a　breeches…maker。　　The　one　restraint　was　as　irksome　as　the　other；　and　Harry　Simms　abandoned　the　needle；　as　he　had　scorned　the　grammar；　to　go　upon　the　pad。　　Though　his　early　companions　were　scragged　at　Tyburn；　the　light…fingered　rascal　was　indifferent　to　their　fate；　and　squandering　such　booty　as　fell　to　his　share；　he　bravely　‘turned　out'　for　more。　　Tottenham　Court　Fair　was　the　theatre　of　his　childish　exploits；　and　there　he　gained　some　little　skill　in　the　picking　of　pockets。　　But　a　spell　of　bad　trade　brought　him　to　poverty；　and　he　attempted　to　replenish　an　empty　pocket　by　the　childish　expedient　of　a　threatening　letter。

The　plan　was　conceived　and　executed　with　a　futility　which　ensured　an　instant　capture。　　The　bungler　chose　a　stranger　at　haphazard；　commanding　him；　under　penalty　of　death；　to　lay　five　guineas　upon　a　gun　in　Tower　Wharf；　the　guineas　were　cunningly　deposited；　and　the　rascal；　caught　with　his　hand　upon　the　booty；　was　committed　to　Newgate。　　Youth；　and　the　intercession　of　his　grandmother；　procured　a　release；　unjustified　by　the　infamous　stupidity　of　the　trick。　　Its　very　clumsiness　should　have　sent　him　over　sea；　and　it　is　wonderful　that　from　a　beginning　of　so　little　promise；　he　should　have　climbed　even　the　first　slopes　of　greatness。　　However；　the　memory　of　gaol　forced　him　to　a　brief　interlude　of　honesty；　for　a　while　he　wore　the　pink　coat　of　Colonel　Cunningham's　postillion；　and　presently　was　promoted　to　the　independence　of　a　hackney　coach。

Thus　employed；　he　became　acquainted　with　the　famous　Cyprians　of　Covent　Garden；　who；　loving　him　for　his　handsome　face　and　sprightly　gesture；　seduced　him　to　desert　his　cab　for　an　easier　profession。　　So　long　as　the　sky　was　fair；　he　lived　under　their　amiable　protection；　but　the　summer　having　chased　the　smarter　gentry　from　town；　the　ladies　could　afford　him　no　more　than　would　purchase　a　horse　and　a　pair　of　pistols；　so　that　Harry　was　compelled　to　challenge　fortune　on　the　high　road。　　His　first　journey　was　triumphantly　successful。　　A　post…chaise　and　a　couple　of　coaches　emptied　their　wealth　into　his　hands；　and；　riding　for　London；　he　was　able　to　return　the　favours　lavished　upon　him　by　Covent　Garden。　　At　the　first　touch　of　gold　he　was　transformed　to　a　finished　blade。　　He　purchased　himself　a　silver…hilted　sword；　which　he　dangled　over　a　discreet　suit　of　black　velvet；　a　prodigious　run　of　luck　at　the　gaming…tables　kept　his　purse　well　lined；　and　he　made　so　brilliant　an　appearance　in　his　familiar　haunts　that　he　speedily　gained　the　name　of　‘Gentleman　Harry。'　　But　the　money；　lightly　won；　was　lightly　spent。　　The　tables　took　back　more　than　they　gave；　and　before　long　Simms　was　astride　his　horse　again；　flourishing　his　irons；　and　crying：　　‘Stand　and　deliver'！　upon　every　road　in　England。

Epping　Forest　was　his　general　hunting…ground；　but　his　enterprise　took　him　far　afield；　and　if　one　night　he　galloped　by　starlight　across　Bagshot　Heath；　another　he　was　holding　up　the　York　stage　with　unbridled　insolence。　　He　robbed；　he　roared；　he　blustered　with　praiseworthy　industry；　and　good　luck　coming　to　the　aid　of　caution；　he　escaped　for　a　while　the　necessary　punishment　of　his　crimes。　　It　was　on　Stockbridge　Downs　that　he　met　his　first　check。

He　had　stopped　a　chariot；　and　came　off　with　a　hatful　of　gold；　but　the　victims；　impatient　of　disaster；　raised　the　county；　and　Gentleman　Harry　was　laid　by　the　heels。　　Never　at　a　loss；　he　condescen