little novels-第4节

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e　I　been　so　little　troubled　by　the　self…tormenting　fancies　and　fears　which　beset　miserable　women；　as　when　I　left　the　house；　and　turned　my　steps　toward　Kensington　Gardensfor　the　first　time　since　my　husband's　death。

Attended　by　my　only　companion；　the　little　dog　who　had　been　his　favorite　as　well　as　mine；　I　went　to　the　quiet　corner　of　the　Gardens　which　is　nearest　to　Kensington。

On　that　soft　grass；　under　the　shade　of　those　grand　trees；　we　had　loitered　together　in　the　days　of　our　betrothal。　It　was　his　favorite　walk；　and　he　had　taken　me　to　see　it　in　the　early　days　of　our　acquaintance。　There；　he　had　first　asked　me　to　be　his　wife。　There；　we　had　felt　the　rapture　of　our　first　kiss。　It　was　surely　natural　that　I　should　wish　to　see　once　more　a　place　sacred　to　such　memories　as　these？　I　am　only　twenty…three　years　old；　I　have　no　child　to　comfort　me；　no　companion　of　my　own　age；　nothing　to　love　but　the　dumb　creature　who　is　so　faithfully　fond　of　me。

I　went　to　the　tree　under　which　we　stood；　when　my　dear　one's　eyes　told　his　love　before　he　could　utter　it　in　words。　The　sun　of　that　vanished　day　shone　on　me　again；　it　was　the　same　noontide　hour；　the　same　solitude　was　around　me。　I　had　feared　the　first　effect　of　the　dreadful　contrast　between　past　and　present。　No！　I　was　quiet　and　resigned。　My　thoughts；　rising　higher　than　earth；　dwelt　on　the　better　life　beyond　the　grave。　Some　tears　came　into　my　eyes。　But　I　was　not　unhappy。　My　memory　of　all　that　happened　may　be　trusted；　even　in　trifles　which　relate　only　to　myselfI　was　not　unhappy。

The　first　object　that　I　saw；　when　my　eyes　were　clear　again；　was　the　dog。　He　crouched　a　few　paces　away　from　me；　trembling　pitiably；　but　uttering　no　cry。　What　had　caused　the　fear　that　overpowered　him？

I　was　soon　to　know。

I　called　to　the　dog；　he　remained　immovableconscious　of　some　mysterious　coming　thing　that　held　him　spellbound。　I　tried　to　go　to　the　poor　creature；　and　fondle　and　comfort　him。

At　the　first　step　forward　that　I　took；　something　stopped　me。

It　was　not　to　be　seen；　and　not　to　be　heard。　It　stopped　me。

The　still　figure　of　the　dog　disappeared　from　my　view：　the　lonely　scene　round　me　disappearedexcepting　the　light　from　heaven；　the　tree　that　sheltered　me；　and　the　grass　in　front　of　me。　A　sense　of　unutterable　expectation　kept　my　eyes　riveted　on　the　grass。　Suddenly；　I　saw　its　myriad　blades　rise　erect　and　shivering。　The　fear　came　to　me　of　something　passing　over　them　with　the　invisible　swiftness　of　the　wind。　The　shivering　advanced。　It　was　all　round　me。　It　crept　into　the　leaves　of　the　tree　over　my　head；　they　shuddered；　without　a　sound　to　tell　of　their　agitation；　their　pleasant　natural　rustling　was　struck　dumb。　The　song　of　the　birds　had　ceased。　The　cries　of　the　water…fowl　on　the　pond　were　heard　no　more。　There　was　a　dreadful　silence。

But　the　lovely　sunshine　poured　down　on　me；　as　brightly　as　ever。

In　that　dazzling　light；　in　that　fearful　silence；　I　felt　an　Invisible　Presence　near　me。　It　touched　me　gently。

At　the　touch；　my　heart　throbbed　with　an　overwhelming　joy。　Exquisite　pleasure　thrilled　through　every　nerve　in　my　body。　I　knew　him！　From　the　unseen　worldhimself　unseenhe　had　returned　to　me。　Oh；　I　knew　him！

And　yet；　my　helpless　mortality　longed　for　a　sign　that　might　give　me　assurance　of　the　truth。　The　yearning　in　me　shaped　itself　into　words。　I　tried　to　utter　the　words。　I　would　have　said；　if　I　could　have　spoken：　〃Oh；　my　angel；　give　me　a　token　that　it　is　You！〃　But　I　was　like　a　person　struck　dumbI　could　only　think　it。

The　Invisible　Presence　read　my　thought。　I　felt　my　lips　touched；　as　my　husband's　lips　used　to　touch　them　when　he　kissed　me。　And　that　was　my　answer。　A　thought　came　to　me　again。　I　would　have　said；　if　I　could　have　spoken：　〃Are　you　here　to　take　me　to　the　better　world？〃

I　waited。　Nothing　that　I　could　feel　touched　me。

I　was　conscious　of　thinking　once　more。　I　would　have　said；　if　I　could　have　spoken：　〃Are　you　here　to　protect　me？〃

I　felt　myself　held　in　a　gentle　embrace；　as　my　husband's　arms　used　to　hold　me　when　he　pressed　me　to　his　breast。　And　that　was　my　answer。

The　touch　that　was　like　the　touch　of　his　lips；　lingered　and　was　lost；　the　clasp　that　was　like　the　clasp　of　his　arms；　pressed　me　and　fell　away。　The　garden…scene　resumed　its　natural　aspect。　I　saw　a　human　creature　near；　a　lovely　little　girl　looking　at　me。

At　that　moment；　when　I　was　my　own　lonely　self　again；　the　sight　of　the　child　soothed　and　attracted　me。　I　advanced；　intending　to　speak　to　her。　To　my　horror　I　suddenly　ceased　to　see　her。　She　disappeared　as　if　I　had　been　stricken　blind。

And　yet　I　could　see　the　landscape　round　me；　I　could　see　the　heaven　above　me。　A　time　passedonly　a　few　minutes；　as　I　thoughtand　the　child　became　visible　to　me　again；　walking　hand…in…hand　with　her　father。　I　approached　them；　I　was　close　enough　to　see　that　they　were　looking　at　me　with　pity　and　surprise。　My　impulse　was　to　ask　if　they　saw　anything　strange　in　my　face　or　my　manner。　Before　I　could　speak；　the　horrible　wonder　happened　again。　They　vanished　from　my　view。

Was　the　Invisible　Presence　still　near？　Was　it　passing　between　me　and　my　fellow…mortals；　forbidding　communication；　in　that　place　and　at　that　time？

It　must　have　been　so。　When　I　turned　away　in　　my　　ignorance；　with　a　heavy　heart；　the　dreadful　blankness　which　had　twice　shut　out　from　me　the　beings　of　my　own　race；　was　not　between　me　and　my　dog。　The　poor　little　creature　filled　me　with　pity；　I　called　him　to　me。　He　moved　at　the　sound　of　my　voice；　and　followed　me　languidly；　not　quite　awakened　yet　from　the　trance　of　terror　that　had　possessed　him。

Before　I　had　retired　by　more　than　a　few　steps；　I　thought　I　was　conscious　of　the　Presence　again。　I　held　out　my　longing　arms　to　it。　I　waited　in　the　hope　of　a　touch　to　tell　me　that　I　might　return。　Perhaps　I　was　answered　by　indirect　means？　I　only　know　that　a　resolution　to　return　to　the　same　place；　at　the　same　hour；　came　to　me；　and　quieted　my　mind。

The　morning　of　the　next　day　was　dull　and　cloudy；　but　the　rain　held　off。　I　set　forth　again　to　the　Gardens。

My　dog　ran　on　before　me　into　the　streetand　stopped：　waiting　to　see　in　which　direction　I　might　lead　the　way。　When　I　turned　toward　the　Gardens；　he　dropped　behind　me。　In　a　little　while　I　looked　back。　He　was　following　me　no　longer；　he　stood　irresolute。　I　called　to　him。　He　advanced　a　few　stepshesitatedand　ran　back　to　the　house。

I　went　on　by　myself。　Shall　I　confess　my　superstition？　I　thought　the　dog's　desertion　of　me　a　bad　omen。

Arrived　at　the　tree；　I　placed　myself　under　it。　The　minutes　followed　each　other　uneventfully。　The　cloudy　sky　darkened。　The　dull　surface　of　the　grass　showed　no　shuddering　consciousness　of　an　unearthly　creature　passing　over　it。

I　still　waited；　with　an　obstinacy　which　was　fast　becoming　the　obstinacy　of　despair。　How　long　an　interval　elapsed；　while　I　kept　watch　on　the　ground　before　me；　I　am　not　able　to　say。　I　only　know　that　a　change　came。

Under　the　dull　gray　light　I　saw　the　grass　movebut　not　as　it　had　moved；　on　the　day　before。　It　shriveled　as　if　a　flame　had　scorched　it。　No　flame　appeared。　The　brown　underlying　earth　showed　itself　winding　onward　in　a　thin　stripwhich　might　have　been　a　footpath　traced　in　fire。　It　frightened　me。　I　longed　for　the　protection　of　the　Invisible　Presence。　I　prayed　for　a　warning　of　it；　if　danger　was　near。

A　touch　answered　me。　It　was　as　if　a　hand　unseen　had　taken　my　handhad　raised　it；　little　by　littlehad　left　it；　pointing　to　the　thin　brown　path　that　wound　toward　me　under　the　shriveled　blades　of　grass。

I　looked　to　the　far　end　of　the　path。

The　unseen　hand　closed　on　my　hand　with　a　warning　pressure：　the　revelation　of　the　coming　danger　was　near　meI　waited　for　it。　I　saw　it。

The　figure　of　a　man　appeared；　advancing　toward　me　along　the　thin　brown　path。　I　looked　in　his　face　as　he　came　nearer。　It　showed　me　dimly　the　face　of　my　husband's　brotherJohn　Zant。

The　consciousness　of　myself　as　a　living　creature　left　me。　I　knew　nothing；　I　felt　nothing。　I　was　dead。

When　the　torture　of　revival　made　me　open　my　eyes；　I　found　myself　on　the　grass。　Gentle　hands　raised　my　head；　at　the　moment　when　I　recovered　my　senses。　Who　had　brought　me　to　life　again？　Who　was　taking　care　of　me？

I　looked　upward；　and　sawbending　over　meJohn　Zant。

VII。

THERE；　the　manuscript　ended。

Some　lines　had　been　added　on　the　last　page；　but　they　had　been　so　carefully　erased　as　to　be　illegible。　These　words　of　explanation　appeared　below　the　canceled　sentences：

〃I　had　begun　to　write　the　little　that　remains　to　be　told；　when　it　struck　me　that　I　might；　unintentionally；　be　exercising　an　unfair　influence　on　your　opinion。　Let　me　only　remind　you　that　I　believe　absolutely　in　the　supernatural　revelation　which　I　have　endeavored　to　describe。　Remember　thisand　decide　for　me　what　I　dare　not　decide　for　myself。〃

There　was　no　serious　obstacle　in　the　way　of　compliance　with　this　request。

Judged　from　the　point　of　view　of　the　materialist；　Mrs。　Zant　might　no　doubt　be　the　victim　of　illusions　（produced　by　a　diseased　state　of　the　nervous　system）；　which　have　been　known　to　existas　in　the　celebrated　case　of　the　book…seller；　Nicolai；　of　Berlinwithout　being　accompanied　by　derangement　of　the　intellectual　powers。　But　Mr。　Rayburn　was　not　asked　to　solve　any　such　intricate　problem　as　this。　He　had　been　merely　instructed　to　read　the　m