屋顶间的哲学家_梭维斯特-第5节
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arsofstrengthandfreedom？oughthetoconsiderlifeasaregularemploymentwhichbringsitsdailywages；orasagameinwhichthefutureisdeterminedbyafewthrows？whyseektheriskofextremechances？forwhatendhastentorichesbydangerousroads？isitreallycertainthathappinessistheprizeofbrilliantsuccesses；ratherthanofawiselyacceptedpoverty？ah！ifmenbutknewinwhatasmalldwellingjoycanlive；andhowlittleitcoststofurnishit！
twelveoclock鈥斺�攊havebeenwalkingupanddownmyatticforalongtime；withmyarmsfoldedandmyeyesontheground！mydoubtsincrease；likeshadowsencroachingmoreandmoreonsomebrightspace；myfearsmultiply；andtheuncertaintybeeseverymomentmorepainfultome！
itisnecessaryformetodecideto…day；andbeforetheevening！iholdthediceofmyfuturefateinmyhands；andidarenotthrowthem。
threeoclock鈥斺�攖heskyhasbeecloudy；andacoldwindbeginstoblowfromthewest；allthewindowswhichwereopenedtothesunshineofabeautifuldayareshutagain。onlyontheoppositesideofthestreet；thelodgeronthelaststoryhasnotyetlefthisbalcony。
oneknowshimtobeasoldierbyhisregularwalk；hisgraymoustaches；andtheribbonthatdecorateshisbuttonhole。indeed；onemighthaveguessedasmuchfromthecarehetakesofthelittlegardenwhichistheornamentofhisbalconyinmid…air；fortherearetwothingsespeciallylovedbyalloldsoldiers鈥斺�攆lowersandchildren。theyhavebeensolong；obligedtolookupontheearthasafieldofbattle；andsolongcutofffromthepeacefulpleasuresofaquietlot；thattheyseemtobeginlifeatanagewhenothersendit。thetastesoftheirearlyyears；whichwerearrestedbythesterndutiesofwar；suddenlybreakoutagainwiththeirwhitehairs；andarelikethesavingsofyouthwhichtheyspendagaininoldage。besides；theyhavebeencondemnedtobedestroyersforsolongthatperhapstheyfeelasecretpleasureincreating；andseeinglifespringupagain：thebeautyofweaknesshasagraceandanattractionthemoreforthosewhohavebeentheagentsofunbendingforce；andthewatchingoverthefrailgermsoflifehasallthecharmsofnoveltyfortheseoldworkmenofdeath。
thereforethecoldwindhasnotdrivenmyneighborfromhisbalcony。
heisdigginguptheearthinhisgreenboxes；andcarefullysowingtheseedsofthescarletnasturtium；convolvulus；andsweet…pea。henceforthhewilleeverydaytowatchfortheirfirstsprouting；toprotecttheyoungshootsfromweedsorinsects；toarrangethestringsforthetendrilstoclimbon；andcarefullytoregulatetheirsupplyofwaterandheat！
howmuchlabortobringinthedesiredharvest！forthat；howmanytimesshalliseehimbravecoldorheat；windorsun；ashedoesto…day！butthen；inthehotsummerdays；whentheblindingdustwhirlsincloudsthroughourstreets；whentheeye；dazzledbytheglareofwhitestucco；knowsnotwheretorest；andtheglowingroofsreflecttheirheatuponustoburning；theoldsoldierwillsitinhisarborandperceivenothingbutgreenleavesandflowersaroundhim；andthebreezewillecoolandfreshtohimthroughtheseperfumedshades。hisassiduouscarewillberewardedatlast。
wemustsowtheseeds；andtendthegrowth；ifwewouldenjoytheflower。
fouroclock鈥斺�攖hecloudsthathavebeengatheringinthehorizonforalongtimearebeedarker；itthundersloudly；andtherainpoursdown！
thosewhoarecaughtinitflyineverydirection；somelaughingandsomecrying。
ialwaysfindparticularamusementinthesehelter…skelters；causedbyasuddenstorm。itseemsasifeachone；whenthustakenbysurprise；losesthefactitiouscharacterthattheworldorhabithasgivenhim；andappearsinhistruecolors。
see；forexample；thatbigmanwithdeliberatestep；whosuddenlyforgetshisindifference；madetoorder；andrunslikeaschoolboy！heisathriftycitygentleman；who；withallhisfashionableairs；isafraidtospoilhishat。
thatprettywomanyonder；onthecontrary；whoselooksaresomodest；andwhosedressissoelaborate；slackensherpacewiththeincreasingstorm。sheseemstofindpleasureinbravingit；anddoesnotthinkofhervelvetcloakspottedbythehail！sheisevidentlyalionessinsheepsclothing。
here；ayoungman；whowaspassing；stopstocatchsomeofthehailstonesinhishand；andexaminesthem。byhisquickandbusiness…likewalkjustnow；youwouldhavetakenhimforatax…gathereronhisrounds；whenheisayoungphilosopher；studyingtheeffectsofelectricity。andthoseschoolboyswholeavetheirrankstorunafterthesuddengustsofamarchwhirlwind；thosegirls；justnowsodemure；butwhonowflywithburstsoflaughter；thosenationalguards；whoquitthemartialattitudeoftheirdaysofdutytotakerefugeunderaporch！thestormhascausedallthesetransformations。
see；itincreases！thehardiestareobligedtoseekshelter。iseeeveryonerushingtowardtheshopinfrontofmywindow；whichabillannouncesistolet。itisforthefourthtimewithinafewmonths。
ayearagoalltheskillofthejoinerandtheartofthepainterwereemployedinbeautifyingit；buttheirworksarealreadydestroyedbytheleavingofsomanytenants；thecornicesofthefrontaredisfiguredbymud；thearabesquesonthedoorwayarespoiledbybillsposteduponthemtoannouncethesaleoftheeffects。thesplendidshophaslostsomeofitsembellishmentswitheachchangeofthetenant。seeitnowempty；andleftopentothepassersby。howmuchdoesitsfateresemblethatofsomanywho；likeit；onlychangetheiroccupationtohastenthefastertoruin！
iamstruckbythislastreflection：sincethemorningeverythingseemstospeaktome；andwiththesamewarningtone。everythingsays：〃takecare！becontentwithyourhappy；thoughhumblelot；happinesscanberetainedonlybyconstancy；donotforsakeyouroldpatronsfortheprotectionofthosewhoareunknown！〃
aretheytheoutwardobjectswhichspeakthus；ordoesthewarningefromwithin？isitnotimyselfwhogivethislanguagetoallthatsurroundsme？theworldisbutaninstrument；towhichwegivesoundatwill。butwhatdoesitsignifyifitteachesuswisdom？thelowvoicethatspeaksinourbreastsisalwaysafriendlyvoice；forittellsuswhatweare；thatistosay；whatisourcapability。badconductresults；forthemostpart；frommistakingourcalling。therearesomanyfoolsandknaves；becausetherearesofewmenwhoknowthemselves。
thequestionisnottodiscoverwhatwillsuitus；butforwhatwearesuited！
whatshouldidoamongthesemanyexperiencedfinancialspeculators？iamonlyapoorsparrow；bornamongthehousetops；andshouldalwaysfeartheenemycrouchinginthedarkcorner；iamaprudentworkman；andshouldthinkofthebusinessofmyneighborswhososuddenlydisappeared；iamatimidobserver；andshouldcalltomindtheflowerssoslowlyraisedbytheoldsoldier；ortheshopbroughttoruinbyconstantchangeofmasters。awayfromme；yebanquets；overwhichhangstheswordofdamocles！iamacountrymouse。givememynutsandhollowtree；andiasknothingbesides鈥斺�攅xceptsecurity。
andwhythisinsatiablecravingforriches？doesamandrinkmorewhenhedrinksfromalargeglass？whenceesthatuniversaldreadofmediocrity；thefruitfulmotherofpeaceandliberty？ah！thereistheevilwhich；aboveeveryother；itshouldbetheaimofbothpublicandprivateeducationtoanticipate！ifthatweregotridof；whattreasonswouldbespared；whatbasenessavoided；whatachainofexcessandcrimewouldbeforeverbroken！weawardthepalmtocharity；andtoself…sacrifice；but；aboveall；letusawardittomoderation；foritisthegreatsocialvirtue。evenwhenitdoesnotcreatetheothers；itstandsinsteadofthem。
sixoclock鈥斺�攊havewrittenaletterofthankstothepromotersofthenewspeculation；andhavedeclinedtheiroffer！thisdecisionhasrestoredmypeaceofmind。istoppedsinging；likethecobbler；aslongasientertainedthehopeofriches：itisgone；andhappinessiseback！
obelovedandgentlepoverty！pardonmeforhavingforamomentwishedtoflyfromthee；asiwouldfromwant。stayhereforeverwiththycharmingsisters；pity；patience；sobriety；andsolitude；beyemyqueensandmyinstructors；teachmethesterndutiesoflife；removefarfrommyabodetheweaknessofheartandgiddinessofheadwhichfollowprosperity。holypoverty！teachmetoendurewithoutplaining；toimpartwithoutgrudging；toseektheendoflifehigherthaninpleasure；fartheroffthaninpower。thougivestthebodystrength；thoumakestthemindmorefirm；and；thankstothee；thislife；towhichtherichattachthemselvesastoarock；beesabarkofwhichdeathmaycutthecablewithoutawakeningallourfearsntinuetosustainme；othouwhomchristhathcalledblessed！
CHAPTER IV
letusloveoneanother
april9th
thefineeveningsareeback；thetreesbegintoputforththeirshoots；hyacinths；jonquils；violets；andlilacsperfumethebasketsoftheflower…girls鈥斺�攁lltheworldhavebeguntheirwalksagainonthequaysandboulevards。afterdinner；i；too；descendfrommyattictobreathetheeveningair。
itisthehourwhenparisisseeninallitsbeauty。duringthedaytheplasterfrontsofthehouseswearytheeyebytheirmonotonouswhiteness；heavilyladencartsmakethestreetsshakeundertheirhugewheels；theeagercrowd；takenupbytheonefearoflosingamomentfrombusiness；crossandjostleoneanother；theaspectofthecityaltogetherhassomethingharsh；restless；andflurriedaboutit。but；assoonasthestarsappear；everythingischanged；theglareofthewhitehousesisquenchedinthegatheringshades；youhearnomoreanyrollingbutthatofthecarriagesontheirwaytosomepartyofpleasure；youseeonlytheloungerorthelight…heartedpassingby；workhasgivenplacetoleisure。
noweachonemaybreatheafterthefierceracethroughthebusinessoftheday；andwhateverstrengthremainstohimhegivestopleasure！seetheballroomslightedup；thetheatresopen；theeating…shopsalongthewalkssetoutwithdainties；andthetwinklinglanternsofthenewspapercriers。decidedlyparishaslaidasidethepen；theruler；andtheapron；afterthedayspentinwork；itmusthavetheeveningforenjoyment；likethemastersofthebes；ithasputoffallseriousmattertilltomorrow。
ilovetotakepartinthishappyhour；nottomixinthegeneralgayety；buttocontemplateit。iftheenjoymentsofothersembitterjealousminds；theystrengthenthehumblespirit；theyarethebeamsofsunshine；whichopenthetwobeautifulflowerscalledtrustandhope。
althoughaloneinthemidstofthesmilingmultitude；idonotfeelmyselfisolatedfromit；foritsgayetyisreflecteduponme：itismyownkind；myownfamily；who
