the ways of men(人们的手段)-第9节
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its dome！ Having perpetrated a blot upon the city that cries to heaven in its
enormity； the repentant owner adds a pagoda or two； much in the same
spirit； doubtless； as prompts an Italian peasant to hang a votive heart on
some friendly shrine when a crime lies heavy on his conscience。
What would be thought of a book…collector who took to standing
inkstands or pepperboxes on the tops of his tallest volumes by way of
adornment？ Yet domes on business buildings are every bit as appropriate。
A choice collection of those monstrosities graces Park Row； one much…
gilded offender varying the monotony by looking like a yellow stopper in
a high…shouldered bottle！ How modern architects with the exquisite City
Hall before them could have wandered so far afield in their search for the
original must always remain a mystery。
When a tall； thin building happens to stand on a corner； the likeness to
an atlas is replaced by a grotesque resemblance to a waffle iron； of which
one structure just finished on Rector Street skilfully reproduces' the lines。
The rows of little windows were evidently arranged to imitate the
indentations on that humble utensil； and the elevated road at the back
seems in this case to do duty as the handle。 Mrs。 Van Rensselaer tells us in
her delightful GOEDE VROUW OF MANA…HA…TA that waffle irons
used to be a favorite wedding present among the Dutch settlers of this
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island； and were adorned with monograms and other devices； so perhaps it
is atavism that makes us so fond of this form in building！ As； however； no
careful HAUSFRAU would have stood her iron on its edge； architects
should hesitate before placing their buildings in that position； as the
impression of instability is the same in each case。
After leaving the vicinity of the City Hall； the tall slabs that like
magnified milestones mark the progress of Architecture up Broadway
become a shade less objectionable； although one meets some strange
freaks in so…called decoration by the way。 Why； for instance； were those
Titan columns grouped around the entrance to the American Surety
Company's building？ They do not support anything （the 〃business〃 of
columns in architecture） except some rather feeble statuary； and do
seriously block the entrance。 Were they added with the idea of fitness？
That can hardly be； for a portico is as inappropriate to such a building as it
would be to a parlor car； and almost as inconvenient。
Farther up town our attention is arrested by another misplaced
adornment。 What purpose can that tomb with a railing round it serve on
top of the New York Life Insurance building？ It looks like a monument in
Greenwood； surmounted by a rat…trap； but no one is interred there； and
vermin can hardly be troublesome at that altitude。
How did this craze for decoration originate？ The inhabitants of
Florence and Athens did not consider it necessary。 There must； I feel sure；
be a reason for its use in this city； American land…lords rarely spend
money without a purpose； perhaps they find that rococo detail draws
business and inspires confidence！
I should like to ask the architects of New York one question： Have
they not been taught that in their art； as in every other； pretences are vulgar；
that things should be what they seem？ Then why do they continue to hide
steel and fire…brick cages under a veneer of granite six inches thick；
causing them to pose as solid stone buildings？ If there is a demand for tall；
light structures； why not build them simply （as bridges are constructed）；
and not add a poultice of bogus columns and zinc cornices that serve no
purpose and deceive no one？
Union Square possesses blocks out of which the Jackson and Decker
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buildings spring with a noble disregard of all rules and a delicious
incongruity that reminds one of Falstaff's corps of ill…drilled soldiers。
Madison Square； however； is FACILE PRINCEPS； with its annex to the
Hoffman House； a building which would make the fortune of any dime
museum that could fence it in and show it for a fee！ Long contemplation
of this structure from my study window has printed every comic detail on
my brain。 It starts off at the ground level to be an imitation of the Doge's
Palace （a neat and appropriate idea in itself for a Broadway shop）。 At the
second story； following the usual New York method； it reverts to a design
suggestive of a county jail （the Palace and the Prison）； with here and there
a balcony hung out； emblematical； doubtless； of the inmates' wash and
bedding。 At the ninth floor the repentant architect adds two more stories in
memory of the Doge's residence。 Have you ever seen an accordion
（concertina； I believe； is the correct name） hanging in a shop window？ The
Twenty…fifth Street Doge's Palace reminds me of that humble instrument。
The wooden part； where the keys and round holes are； stands on the
sidewalk。 Then come an indefinite number of pleats； and finally the other
wooden end well up among the clouds。 So striking is this resemblance that
at times one expects to hear the long…drawn moans peculiar to the
concertina issuing from those portals。 Alas！ even the most original designs
have their drawbacks！ After the proprietor of the Venetian accordion had
got his instrument well drawn out and balanced on its end； he perceived
that it dwarfed the adjacent buildings； so cast about in his mind for a
scheme to add height and dignity to the rest of the block。 One day the
astonished neighborhood saw what appeared to be a 〃roomy suburban
villa〃 of iron rising on the roof of the old Hoffman House。 The results
suggests a small man who； being obliged to walk with a giant； had put on
a hat several times too large in order to equalize their heights！
How astonished Pericles and his circle of architects and sculptors
would be could they stand on the corner of Broadway and Twenty…eighth
Street and see the miniature Parthenon that graces the roof of a pile
innocent of other Greek ornament？ They would also recognize their old
friends； the ladies of the Erechtheum； doing duty on the Reveillon
Building across the way； pretending to hold up a cornice； which； being in
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proportion to the building； is several hundred times too big for them to
carry。 They can't be seen from the sidewalk； … the street is too narrow for
that； … but such trifles don't deter builders from decorating when the fit is
on them。 Perhaps this one got his caryatides at a bargain； and had to work
them in somewhere； so it is not fair to be hard on him。
If ever we take to ballooning； all these elaborate tops may add
materially to our pleasure。 At the present moment the birds； and angels； it
is to be hoped； appreciate the effort。 I； perhaps； of all the inhabitants of the
city； have seen those ladies face to face； when I have gone on a semi…
monthly visit to my roof to look for leaks！
〃It's all very well to carp and cavil；〃 many readers will say； 〃but ‘Idler'
forgets that our modern architects have had to contend with difficulties
that the designers of other ages never faced； demands for space and light
forcing the nineteenth…century builders to produce structures which they
know are neither graceful nor in proportion！〃
If my readers will give themselves the trouble to glance at several
office buildings in the city； they will realize that the problem is not without
a solution。 In almost every case where the architect has r
