the ways of men(人们的手段)-第5节
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
stage； living over again the glorious hours of that night's triumph。 His
breath was coming quick and his eyes aglow with the memory of that
evening。 〃Never； never have I lived through such an evening。 Victor
Hugo's greatest triumph； the first night of HERNANI； was the only
theatrical event that can compare to it。 It； however； was injured by the
enmity of a clique who persistently hissed the new play。 There is but one
phrase to express the enthusiasm at our first performance … UNE SALLE
EN DELIRE gives some idea of what took place。 As the curtain fell on
each succeeding act the entire audience would rise to its feet； shouting and
cheering for ten minutes at a time。 The coulisse and the dressing…rooms
were packed by the critics and the author's friends； beside themselves with
delight。 I was trembling so I could hardly get from one costume into
another； and had to refuse my door to every one。 Amid all this confusion
Rostand alone remained cool and seemed unconscious of his victory。 He
continued quietly giving last recommendations to the figurants； overseeing
the setting of the scenes； and thanking the actors as they came off the stage；
with the same self…possessed urbanity he had shown during the rehearsals。
15
… Page 16…
THE WAYS OF MEN
Finally； when the play was over； and we had time to turn and look for him；
our author had disappeared； having quietly driven off with his wife to their
house in the country； from which he never moved for a week。〃
It struck two o'clock as Coquelin ended。 The sleepless city had at last
gone to rest。 At our feet； as we stood by the open window； the great square
around the Arc de Triomphe lay silent and empty； its vast arch rising dimly
against the night sky。
As I turned to go； Coquelin took my hand and remarked； smiling：
〃Now you have heard the story of a genius； an actor； and a masterpiece。〃
16
… Page 17…
THE WAYS OF MEN
CHAPTER 4 … Machine…made Men
AMONG the commonplace white and yellow envelopes that
compose the bulk of one's correspondence； appear from time to time
dainty epistles on tinted paper； adorned with crests or monograms。 〃Ha！
ha！〃 I think when one of these appears； 〃here is something worth
opening！〃 For between ourselves； reader mine； old bachelors love to
receive notes from women。 It's so flattering to be remembered by the dear
creatures； and recalls the time when life was beginning； and POULETS in
feminine writing suggested such delightful possibilities。
Only this morning an envelope of delicate Nile green caused me a
distinct thrill of anticipation。 To judge by appearances it could contain
nothing less attractive than a declaration； so； tearing it hurriedly open； I
read： 〃Messrs。 Sparks & Splithers take pleasure in calling attention to their
patent suspenders and newest designs in reversible paper collars！〃
Now； if that's not enough to put any man in a bad humor for twenty…
four hours； I should like to know what is？ Moreover； I have 〃patents〃 in
horror； experience having long ago revealed the fact that a patent is pretty
sure to be only a new way of doing fast and cheaply something that
formerly was accomplished slowly and well。
Few people stop to think how quickly this land of ours is degenerating
into a paradise of the cheap and nasty； but allow themselves to be heated
and cooled and whirled about the streets to the detriment of their nerves
and digestions； under the impression that they are enjoying the benefits of
modern progress。
So complex has life become in these later days that the very beds we
lie on and the meals we eat are controlled by patents。 Every garment and
piece of furniture now pays a 〃royalty〃 to some inventor； from the hats on
our heads to the carpets under foot； which latter are not only manufactured；
but cleaned and shaken by machinery； and （be it remarked EN PASSANT）
lose their nap prematurely in the process。 To satisfy our national love of
the new； an endless and nameless variety of trifles appears each season；
so…called labor and time…saving combinations； that enjoy a brief hour of
vogue； only to make way for a newer series of inventions。
17
… Page 18…
THE WAYS OF MEN
As long as our geniuses confined themselves to making life one long
and breathless scramble； it was bad enough； but a line should have been
drawn where meddling with the sanctity of the toilet began。 This； alas！
was not done。 Nothing has remained sacred to the inventor。 In
consequence； the average up…to… date American is a walking collection of
Yankee notions； an ingenious illusion； made up of patents； requiring as
nice adjustment to put together and undo as a thirteenth…century warrior；
and carrying hardly less metal about his person than a Crusader of old。
There are a number of haberdashery shops on Broadway that have
caused me to waste many precious minutes gazing into their windows and
wondering what the strange instruments of steel and elastic could be； that
were exhibited alongside of the socks and ties。 The uses of these would； in
all probability； have remained wrapped in mystery but for the experience
of one fateful morning （after a night in a sleeping…car）； when countless
hidden things were made clear； as I sat； an awe… struck witness to my
fellow…passengers' … toilets？ … No！ Getting their machinery into running
order for the day； would be a more correct expression。
Originally； 〃tags〃 were the backbone of the toilet； different garments
being held together by their aid。 Later； buttons and attendant button…holes
were evolved； now replaced by the devices used in composing the
machine…made man。 As far as I could see （I have overcome a natural
delicacy in making my discoveries public； because it seems unfair to keep
all this information to myself）； nothing so archaic as a button…hole is
employed at the present time by our patent…ridden compatriots。 The shirt；
for instance； which was formerly such a simple… minded and
straightforward garment； knowing no guile； has become； in the hands of
the inventors； a mere pretence； a frail scaffold； on which an elaborate
superstructure of shams is erected。
The varieties of this garment that one sees in the shop windows；
exposing virgin bosoms to the day； are not what they seem！ Those very
bosoms are fakes； and cannot open； being instead pierced by eyelets； into
which bogus studs are fixed by machinery。 The owner is obliged to enter
into those deceptive garments surreptitiously from the rear； by stratagem；
as it were。 Why all this trouble； one asks； for no apparent reason； except
18
… Page 19…
THE WAYS OF MEN
that old…fashioned shirts opened in front； and no Yankee will wear a non…
patented garment … if he can help it？
There was not a single accessory to the toilet in that car which behaved
in a normal way。 Buttons mostly backed into place； tail…end foremost （like
horses getting between shafts）； where some hidden mechanism screwed or
clinched them to their moorings。
Collars and cuffs （integral parts of the primitive garment） are now a
labyrinth； in which all but the initiated must lose themselves； being
double…decked； detachable； reversible； and made of every known
substance except linen。 The cuff most in favor can be worn four different
ways； and is attached to the shirt by a steel instrument three inches long；
with a nipper at each end。 The amount of white visible below the coat…
sleeve is regulated by another contrivance； mostly of elastic； worn further
up the arm； around the biceps。 Modern collars are retained in position by a
system of screws and levers。 Socks are attached no longer with the old…
fashioned g
