the ways of men(人们的手段)-第13节
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inconvenience。 In short； a good fellow； whose principal defect is the
profound conviction that he was born superior to the rest of mankind。
What this individual is to his environment； Englishmen are to the
world at large。 It is the misfortune； not the fault； of the rest of the human
race； that they are not native to his island； a fact； by the way； which
outsiders are rarely allowed to lose sight of； as it entails a becoming
modesty on their part。
Few idiosyncrasies get more quickly on American nerves or are further
from our hearty attitude toward strangers。 As we are far from looking upon
wandering Englishmen with suspicion； it takes us some time to realize that
Americans who cut away from their countrymen and settle far from home
are regarded with distrust and reluctantly received。 When a family of this
kind prepares to live in their neighborhood； Britons have a formula of
three questions they ask themselves concerning the new… comers： 〃Whom
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do they know？ How much are they worth？〃 and 〃What amusement （or
profit） are we likely to get out of them？〃 If the answer to all or any of the
three queries is satisfactory； my lord makes the necessary advances and
becomes an agreeable； if not a witty or original； companion。
Given this and a number of other peculiarities； it seems curious that a
certain class of Americans should be so anxious to live in England。 What
is it tempts them？ It cannot be the climate； for that is vile； nor the city of
London； for it is one of the ugliest in existence； nor their 〃cuisine〃 … for
although we are not good cooks ourselves； we know what good food is
and could give Britons points。 Neither can it be art； nor the opera； … one
finds both better at home or on the Continent than in England。 So it must
be society； and here one's wonder deepens！
When I hear friends just back from a stay over there enlarging on the
charms of 〃country life；〃 or a London 〃season；〃 I look attentively to see if
they are in earnest； so incomparably dull have I always found English
house parties or town entertainments。 At least that side of society which
the climbing stranger mostly affects。 Other circles are charming； if a bit
slow； and the 〃Bohemia〃 and semi…Bohemia of London have a delicate
flavor of their own。
County society； that ideal life so attractive to American readers of
British novels； is； taken on the whole； the most insipid existence
conceivable。 The women lack the sparkle and charm of ours； the men； who
are out all day shooting or hunting according to the season； get back so
fagged that if they do not actually drop asleep at the dinner…table； they will
nap immediately after； brightening only when the ladies have retired；
when； with evening dress changed for comfortable smoking suits； the
hunters congregate in the billiard…room for cigars and brandy and seltzer。
A particularly agreeable American woman； whose husband insists on
going every winter to Melton…Mowbray for the hunting； was describing
the other day the life there among the women； and expressing her wonder
that those who did not hunt could refrain from blowing out their brains； so
awful was the dulness and monotony！ She had ended by not dining out at
all； having discovered that the conversation never by any chance deviated
far from the knees of the horses and the height of the hedges！
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Which reminds one of Thackeray relating how he had longed to know
what women talked about when they were alone after dinner； imagining it
to be on mysterious and thrilling subjects； until one evening he overheard
such a conversation and found it turned entirely on children and ailments！
As regards wit； the English are like the Oriental potentate who at a ball in
Europe expressed his astonishment that the guests took the trouble to
dance and get themselves hot and dishevelled； explaining that in the East
he paid people to do that for him。 In England 〃amusers〃 are invited
expressly to be funny； anything uttered by one of these delightful
individuals is sure to be received with much laughter。 It is so simple that
way！ One is prepared and knows when to laugh。 Whereas amateur wit is
confusing。 When an American I knew； turning over the books on a
drawing…room table and finding Hare's WALKS IN LONDON； in two
volumes； said； 〃So you part your hair in the middle over here；〃 the remark
was received in silence； and with looks of polite surprise。
It is not necessary； however； to accumulate proofs that this much
described society is less intelligent than our own。 Their authors have
acknowledged it； and well they may。 For from Scott and Dickens down to
Hall Caine； American appreciation has gone far toward establishing the
reputation of English writers at home。
In spite of lack of humor and a thousand other defects which ought to
make English swelldom antagonistic to our countrymen； the fact remains
that 〃smart〃 London tempts a certain number of Americans and has
become a promised land； toward which they turn longing eyes。 You will
always find a few of these votaries over there in the 〃season；〃 struggling
bravely up the social current； making acquaintances； spending money at
charity sales； giving dinners and fetes； taking houses at Ascot and filling
them with their new friends' friends。 With more or less success as the new…
comers have been able to return satisfactory answers to the three primary
questions。
What Americans are these； who force us to blush for them infinitely
more than for the unlettered tourists trotting conscientiously around the
country； doing the sights and asking for soda…water and buckwheat cakes
at the hotels！
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Any one who has been an observer of the genus 〃Climber〃 at home；
and wondered at their way and courage； will recognize these ambitious
souls abroad； five minutes' conversation is enough。 It is never about a
place that they talk； but of the people they know。 London to them is not
the city of Dickens。 It is a place where one may meet the Prince of Wales
and perhaps obtain an entrance into his set。
One description will cover most climbers。 They are； as a rule； people
who start humbly in some small city； then when fortune comes； push on to
New York and Newport； where they carry all before them and make their
houses centres and themselves powers。 Next comes the discovery that the
circle into which they have forced their way is not nearly as attractive as it
appeared from a distance。 Consequently that vague disappointment is felt
which most of us experience on attaining a long desired goal … the
unsatisfactoriness of success！ Much the same sensation as caused poor Du
Maurier to answer； when asked shortly before his death why he looked so
glum； 〃I'm soured by success！〃
So true is this of all human nature that the following recipe might be
given for the attainment of perfect happiness： 〃Begin far down in any walk
of life。 Rise by your efforts higher each year； and then be careful to die
before discovering that there is nothing at the top。 The excitement of the
struggle … ‘the rapture of the chase' … are greater joys than achievement。〃
Our ambitious friends naturally ignore this bit of philosophy。 When it
is discovered that the 〃world〃 at home has given but an unsatisfactory
return for cash and conniving； it occurs to them that the fault lies in the
circle； and they assume that their particular talents require a larger field。
Having conquered all in sight； these social Alexanders pine for a new
world； which generally turns out to be the 〃Old；〃 so a crossing is made；
and the 〃Conquest of England〃 begun with all the enthusiasm and push
employed on starting out from the little native city twenty years before。
It is in Victoria's realm that foemen worthy of their steel
