the research magnificent-第17节

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e；　at　least；　I　will　cling　to　pride。　　I　will　at　least　THINK　free　and　clean　and　high。　　But　you　can　climb　higher　than　I　can。　　You've　got　the　grit　to　try　and　LIVE　high。　　There　you　are；　Benham。〃　Benham　stuck　one　leg　over　the　arm　of　his　chair。　　〃Billy；〃　he　said；　〃come　and　beequestrian　and　stop　this　nonsense。〃　〃No。〃　〃Damn　ityou　DIVE！〃　〃You'd　go　in　before　me　if　a　woman　was　drowning。〃　〃Nonsense。　　I'm　going　to　ride。　　Come　and　ride　too。　　You've　a　cleverer　way　with　animals　than　I　have。　　Why！　that　horse　I　was　driving　the　other　day　would　have　gone　better　alone。　　I　didn't　drive　it。　　I　just　fussed　it。　　I　interfered。　　If　I　ride　for　ever；　I　shall　never　have　decent　hands；　I　shall　always　hang　on　my　horse's　mouth　at　a　gallop；　I　shall　never　be　sure　at　a　jump。　　But　at　any　rate　I　shall　get　hard。　　Come　and　get　hard　too。〃　〃You　can；〃　said　Billy；　〃you　can。　　But　not　I！　　Heavens；　the　TROUBLE　of　it！　　The　riding…school！　　The　getting　up　early！　　No！for　me　the　Trumpington　Road　on　foot　in　the　afternoon。　　Four　miles　an　hour　and　panting。　　And　my　fellowship　and　the　combination…room　port。　　And；　besides；　Benham；　there's　the　expense。　　I　can't　afford　the　equestrian　order。〃　〃It's　not　so　great。〃　〃Not　so　great！　　I　don't　mean　the　essential　expense。　　Butthe　incidentals。　　I　don't　know　whether　any　one　can　realize　how　a　poor　man　is　hampered　by　the　dread　of　minor　catastrophes。　　It　isn't　so　much　that　he　is　afraid　of　breaking　his　neck；　Benham；　as　that　he　is　afraid　of　breaking　something　he　will　have　to　pay　for。　　For　instance。　Benham！　how　much　did　your　little　expedition　the　other　day？〃　He　stopped　short　and　regarded　his　friend　with　round　eyes　and　raised　eyebrows。　A　reluctant　grin　overspread　Benham's　face。　　He　was　beginning　to　see　the　humour　of　the　affair。　〃The　claim　for　the　motor…bicycle　isn't　sent　in　yet。　　The　repair　of　the　mudguards　of　the　car　is　in　dispute。　　Trinity　Hall's　crockery；　the　plate…glass　window；　the　whip…lash　and　wheel　and　so　forth；　the　hire　of　the　horse　and　trap；　sundry　gratuities。　。　。　。　　I　doubt　if　the　total　will　come　very　much　under　fifty　pounds。　　And　I　seem　to　have　lost　a　hat　somewhere。〃　Billy　regarded　his　toes　and　cleared　his　throat。　〃Depending　as　I　do　on　a　widowed　mother　in　Brixton　for　all　the　expenditure　that　isn't　covered　by　my　pot…hunting〃　〃Of　course；〃　said　Benham；　〃it　wasn't　a　fair　sample　afternoon。〃　〃Still〃　〃There's　footer；〃　said　Benham；　〃we　might　both　play　footer。〃　〃Or　boxing。〃　〃And；　anyhow；　you　must　come　with　me　when　I　drive　again。　　I'm　going　to　start　a　trotter。〃　〃If　I　miss　another　drive　may　I　belost　for　ever；〃　said　Billy；　with　the　utmost　sincerity。　　〃Never　more　will　I　get　down；　Benham；　wherever　you　may　take　me。　　Short　of　muffing　my　fellowship　I'm　with　you　always。　。　。　。　　Will　it　be　an　American　trotter？〃　〃It　will　be　the　rawest；　gauntest；　ungainliest　brute　that　ever　scared　the　motor…bicycles　on　the　Northampton　Road。　　It　will　have　the　legs　and　stride　of　an　ostrich。　　It　will　throw　its　feet　out　like　dealing　cards。　　It　will　lift　its　head　and　look　the　sun　in　the　eye　like　a　vulture。　　It　will　have　teeth　like　the　English　spinster　in　a　French　comic　paper。　。　。　。　　And　we　will　fly。　。　。　。〃　〃I　shall　enjoy　it　very　much；〃　said　Prothero　in　a　small　voice　after　an　interval　for　reflection。　　〃I　wonder　where　we　shall　fly。　　It　will　do　us　both　a　lot　of　good。　　And　I　shall　insure　my　life　for　a　small　amount　in　my　mother's　interest。　。　。　。　　Benham；　I　think　I　will；　after　all；　take　a　whiskey。　。　。　。　　Life　is　short。　。　。　。〃　He　did　so　and　Benham　strolled　to　the　window　and　stood　looking　out　upon　the　great　court。　〃We　might　do　something　this　afternoon；〃　said　Benham。　〃Splendid　idea；〃　reflected　Billy　over　his　whiskey。　　〃Living　hard　and　thinking　hard。　　A　sort　of　Intelligentsia　that　is　BLOODED。　。　。　。　　I　shall；　of　course；　come　as　far　as　I　can　with　you。〃

13

In　one　of　the　bureau　drawers　that　White　in　this　capacity　of　literary　executor　was　examining；　there　were　two　documents　that　carried　back　right　to　these　early　days。　　They　were　both　products　of　this　long　wide　undergraduate　argumentation　that　had　played　so　large　a　part　in　the　making　of　Benham。　　One　recorded　the　phase　of　maximum　opposition；　and　one　was　the　outcome　of　the　concluding　approach　of　the　antagonists。　　They　were　debating　club　essays。　　One　had　been　read　to　a　club　in　Pembroke；　a　club　called　the　ENQUIRERS；　of　which　White　also　had　been　a　member；　and　as　he　turned　it　over　he　found　the　circumstances　of　its　reading　coming　back　to　his　memory。　　He　had　been　present；　and　Carnac's　share　in　the　discussion　with　his　shrill　voice　and　stumpy　gestures　would　alone　have　sufficed　to　have　made　it　a　memorable　occasion。　　The　later　one　had　been　read　to　the　daughter　club　of　the　ENQUIRERS；　the　SOCIAL　ENQUIRERS；　in　the　year　after　White　had　gone　down；　and　it　was　new　to　him。　Both　these　papers　were　folded　flat　and　neatly　docketed；　they　were　rather　yellow　and　a　little　dog…eared；　and　with　the　outer　sheet　pencilled　over　with　puzzling　or　illegible　scribblings；　Benham's　memoranda　for　his　reply。　　White　took　the　earlier　essay　in　his　hand。　At　the　head　of　the　first　page　was　written　in　large　letters；　〃Go　slowly；　speak　to　the　man　at　the　back。〃　　It　brought　up　memories　of　his　own　experiences；　of　rows　of　gaslit　faces；　and　of　a　friendly　helpful　voice　that　said；　〃Speak　up？〃　Of　course　this　was　what　happened　to　every　intelligent　contemporary；　this　encounter　with　ideas；　this　restatement　and　ventilation　of　the　old　truths　and　the　old　heresies。　　Only　in　this　way　does　a　man　make　a　view　his　own；　only　so　does　he　incorporate　it。　　These　are　our　real　turning　points。　　The　significant；　the　essential　moments　in　the　life　of　any　one　worth　consideration　are　surely　these　moments　when　for　the　first　time　he　faces　towards　certain　broad　ideas　and　certain　broad　facts。　　Life　nowadays　consists　of　adventures　among　generalizations。　In　class…rooms　after　the　lecture；　in　studies　in　the　small　hours；　among　books　or　during　solitary　walks；　the　drama　of　the　modern　career　begins。　　Suddenly　a　man　sees　his　line；　his　intention。　　Yet　though　we　are　all　of　us　writing　long　novelsWhite's　world　was　the　literary　world；　and　that　is　how　it　looked　to　himwhich　profess　to　set　out　the　lives　of　men；　this　part　of　the　journey；　this　crucial　passage　among　the　Sphinxes；　is　still　donewhen　it　is　done　at　allslightly；　evasively。　　Why？　White　fell　back　on　his　professionalism。　　〃It　does　not　make　a　book。　It　makes　a　novel　into　a　treatise；　it　turns　it　into　a　dissertation。〃　But　even　as　White　said　this　to　himself　he　knew　it　was　wrong；　and　it　slid　out　of　his　thoughts　again。　　Was　not　this　objection　to　the　play　of　ideas　merely　the　expression　of　that　conservative　instinct　which　fights　for　every　old　convention？　　The　traditional　novel　is　a　love　story　and　takes　ideas　for　granted；　it　professes　a　hero　but　presents　a　heroine。　　And　to　begin　with　at　least；　novels　were　written　for　the　reading　of　heroines。　　Miss　Lydia　Languish　sets　no　great　store　upon　the　contents　of　a　man's　head。　　That　is　just　the　stuffing　of　the　doll。　　Eyes　and　heart　are　her　game。　　And　so　there　is　never　any　more　sphinx　in　the　story　than　a　lady　may　impersonate。　　And　as　inevitably　the　heroine　meets　a　man。　　In　his　own　first　success；　White　reflected；　the　hero；　before　he　had　gone　a　dozen　pages；　met　a　very　pleasant　young　woman　very　pleasantly　in　a　sunlit　thicket；　the　second　opened　at　once　with　a　bicycle　accident　that　brought　two　young　people　together　so　that　they　were　never　afterwards　disentangled；　the　third；　failing　to　produce　its　heroine　in　thirty　pages；　had　to　be　rearranged。　　The　next　White　returned　from　an　unprofitable　digression　to　the　matter　before　him。

14

The　first　of　Benham's　early　essays　was　written　in　an　almost　boyish　hand；　it　was　youthfully　amateurish　in　its　nervous　disposition　to　definitions　and　distinctions；　and　in　the　elaborate　linking　of　part　to　part。　　It　was　called　TRUE　DEMOCRACY。　　Manifestly　it　was　written　before　the　incident　of　the　Trinity　Hall　plates；　and　most　of　it　had　been　done　after　Prothero's　visit　to　Chexington。　　White　could　feel　that　now　inaudible　interlocutor。　　And　there　were　even　traces　of　Sir　Godfrey　Marayne's　assertion　that　democracy　was　contrary　to　biology。　From　the　outset　it　was　clear　that　whatever　else　it　meant；　True　Democracy；　following　the　analogy　of　True　Politeness；　True　Courage；　True　Honesty　and　True　Marriage；　did　not　mean　democracy　at　all。　Benham　was；　in　fact；　taking　Prothero's　word；　and　trying　to　impose　upon　it　his　own　solidifying　and　crystallizing　opinion　of　life。　They　were　not　as　yet　very　large　or　well…formed　crystals。　　The　proposition　he　struggled　to　develop　was　this；　that　True　Democracy　did　not　mean　an　equal　share　in　the　government；　it　meant　an　equal　opportunity　to　share　in　the　government。　　Men　were　by　nature　and　in　the　most　various　ways　unequal。　　True　Democracy　aimed　only　at　the　removal　of　artificial　inequalities。　。　。　。　It　was　on　the　truth　of　this　statement；　that　men　were　by　nature　unequal；　that　the　debate　had　turned。　　Prothero　was　passionately　against　the　idea　at　that　time。　　It　was；　he　felt；　separating　himself　from　Benham　more　and　more。　　He　spoke　with　a　personal　bitterness。　And　he　found　his　chief　ally　in　a　rigorous　and　voluble　Frenchman　named　Carnac；　an　aggressive　Roman　Catholic；　who　opened　his　speech　by　saying　that　the　first　aristocrat　was　the　devil；　and　shocked　Prothero　by　claiming　him　as　probably　the　only　other　sound　Christian　in　the　room。　　Several　biologists　were　p