tg.wizardfirstrule-第156节

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　It　was　long　since　dark　out　the　window；　but　thankfully　the　lamps　were　lit　and　at　least　he　didn't　have　to　stand　in　the　dark。　The　two　bells　announced　the　end　of　evening　devotion。　Still　Denna　was　not　back。　His　training　time　came　and　went。　Still　no　Denna。　Richard　was　fraught　with　worry。
　
　At　last；　he　heard　the　door　push　open。　Denna's　head　was　bowed；　her　posture　stiff。　The　braid　was　undone　and　her　hair　disheveled。　She　laboriously　pushed　the　door　closed。　He　saw　that　her　skin　was　ashen；　her　eyes　wet。　She　didn't　look　at　him：　〃Richard；〃　she　said　in　a　small　voice；　〃fill　my　bath　for　me。　Please？　I　need　a　bath；　I　feel　very　dirty　right　now。〃
　
　〃Of　course；　Mistress　Derma。〃
　
　He　dragged　the　tub　in　and　ran　as　fast　as　he　could　to　fill　it。　He　didn't　think　he　had　ever　done　it　more　quickly。　She　stood　and　watched　as　he　brought　in　bucket　after　bucket。　When　he　was　finished；　he　stood　panting；　waiting。
　
　Her　trembling　fingers　started　unbuttoning　the　leather。　〃Help　me　with　this？　I　don't　think　I　can　do　it　by　myself。〃
　
　He　unbuttoned　it　for　her　as　she　shivered。　Wincing；　he　had　to　peel　it　off　her　back；　some　of　her　skin　came　with　it。　His　heart　was　pounding。　Denna　was　covered　with　welts　from　the　back　of　her　neck　to　the　back　of　her　ankles。　Richard　was　frightened；　and　he　ached　with　hurt　for　her；　for　the　pain　she　was　in。　Tears　came　to　his　eyes。　The　power　roared　up　in　him。　He　ignored　it。
　
　〃Mistress　Denna；　who　did　this　to　you？〃　he　demanded。
　
　〃Master　Rahl。　It　is　nothing　I　did　not　deserve。〃
　
　He　held　her　hands　and　helped　her　into　the　tub。　She　let　out　a　little　sound　as　she　sank　slowly　into　the　hot　water；　sitting　stiffly。
　
　〃Mistress　Denna；　why　would　he　do　this　to　you？〃
　
　She　winced　when　he　put　the　soapy　cloth　to　her　back。。　〃Constance　told　him　I　was　being　too　easy　on　you。　I　deserve　what　was　done　to　me。　I　have　been　lax　in　your　training。　I　am　Mord…Sith。　I　should　have　done　better。　I　received　only　that　which　I　deserve。〃
　
　〃You　do　not　deserve　this；　Mistress　Denna；　it　is　me　who　should　have　taken　the　punishment。　Not　you。〃
　
　Her　hands　trembled　as　she　held　the　sides　of　the　tub　and　he　carefully　washed　her。　He　gently　wiped　the　sweat　off　the　white　skin　of　her　face。　She　stared　ahead　the　whole　time　he　worked；　a　few　tears　rolling　down　her　cheeks。
　
　Her　lip　quivered。　〃Tomorrow；　Master　Rahl　will　see　you。〃　His　hand　stopped　washing　for　a　second。　〃I'm　sorry；　Richard。　You　will　answer　his　questions。〃
　
　He　glanced　up　at　her　face；　but　she　didn't　look　back。　〃Yes；　Mistress　Denna。〃　He　rinsed　her　off　with　water　cupped　in　his　hands。　〃Let　me　dry　you　off。〃　He　did　it　as　gently　as　he　could。　〃Do　you　wish　to　sit；　Mistress　Denna？〃
　
　She　gave　an　embarrassed　smile。　〃I　don't　think　I　would　like　that；　just　now。〃　She　turned　her　head　stiffly。　〃Over　there。　I　will　lie　on　the　bed。〃　She　took　his　hand　when　he　put　it　out　for　her。　〃I　can't　seem　to　stop　shaking。　Why　can't　I　stop　shaking？〃
　
　〃Because　it　hurts；　Mistress　Denna。〃
　
　〃I've　had　much　worse　than　this　done　to　me。　This　was　only　a　small　reminder　of　who　I　am。　But　still；　I　can't　stop　shaking。〃
　
　She　lay　facedown　on　the　bed；　her　eyes　on　him。　Richard's　worry　made　his　mind　start　working　again。
　
　〃Mistress　Denna；　is　my　pack　still　here？〃
　
　〃In　the　cabinet。　Why？〃
　
　〃Just　lie　still。　Mistress　Denna；　let　me　do　something；　if　I　can　remember　how。〃
　
　He　pulled　his　pack　from　a　high　shelf　in　the　cabinet；　laid　it　on　the　table；　and…started　rummaging　through　it。　Denna　watched　him；　the　side　of　her　face　resting　on　the　backs　of　her　hands。　Beneath　a　carved　bone　whistle　on　a　leather　thong；　he　found　the　package　he　was　searching　for；　and　laid　it　open　on　the　table。　He　pulled　out　a　tin　bowl；　took　his　knife　from　his　belt；　and　laid　it；　too；　on　the　table。　He　stood　and　took　a　jar　of　cream　from　the　cabinet。　He　had　seen　her　spread　it　on　her　skin。　It　was　just　what　he　needed。
　
　〃Mistress　Denna；　may　I　use　this？〃
　
　〃Why？？
　
　〃Please？〃
　
　〃Go　ahead。〃
　
　Richard　took　the　entire　pile　of　neatly　stacked；　dried　aum　leaves　and　put　them　in　the　tin　bowl；　then　selected　a　few　other　herbs　he　remembered　by　smell；　but　not　by　name；　and　dumped　them　in　with　the　aum　leaves。　With　the　knife　handle；　he　ground　it　all　into　a　powder。　Picking　up　the　jar　of　cream；　he　scooped　it　all　out　and　plopped　it　into　the　bowl；　mixing　it　with　two　fingers。　He　took　the　bowl　and　sat　on　the　bed　next　to　her。
　
　〃Just　lie　still；〃　he　told　her。
　
　〃The　appellation；　Richard；　the　appellation。　Will　you　never　learn？〃
　
　〃Sorry；　Mistress　Denna；〃　he　smiled。　〃You　may　punish　me　later。　For　now；　lie　still。　When　I'm　finished　you　will　feel　well　enough　to　punish　me　all　night。　I　promise。〃
　
　'He　spread　the　paste　gently　on　the　welts；　smoothing　it　out　as　he　went。　Denna　moaned。　Her　eyes　closed　while　he　worked。　By　the　time　he　reached　the　back　of　her　ankles；　she　was　almost　asleep。　He　stroked　her　hair　while　the　aum　cream　soaked　in。
　
　〃How　does　that　feel；　Mistress　Denna？〃　he　whispered。
　
　She　rolled　onto　her　side；　her　eyes　opening　wide。　〃The　pain　is　gone！　How　did　you　do　that？　How　did　you　make　the　pain　leave？〃
　
　Richard　smiled　in　satisfaction。　〃I　learned　it　from　an　old　friend　named　。　。　。〃　He　frowned。　〃I　can't　remember　his　name。　But　he's　an　old　friend；　and　he　taught　me。　I'm　so　relieved；　Mistress　Denna。　I　don't　like　to　see　you　in　pain。〃
　
　She　gently　touched　her　fingers　to　the　side　of　his　face。　〃You　are　a　very　rare　person；　Richard　Cypher。　I　have　never　had　a　mate　like　you　before。　The　spirits　take　me；　I　have　never　even　seen　a　person　like　you　before。　I　killed　the　one　who　did　the　things　to　me　that　I　have　done　to　you；　and　you　instead　help　me。〃
　
　〃We　all　can　be　only　who　we　are；　no　more；　and　no　less；　Mistress　Denna。〃　He　looked　down　at　his　hands。　〃I　don't　like　what　Master　Rahl　has　done　to　you。〃
　
　〃You；　don't　understand　about　the　Mord…Sith；　my　love。　We　are　carefully　selected；　as　young　girls。　Those　chosen　to　be　Mord…Sith　are　the　most　gentle；　the　most　kindhearted；　that　can　be　found。　It　is　said　that　the　deepest　cruelty　es　from　the　deepest　caring。　All　of　D'Hara　is　searched；　and　each　year　only　about　a　half　dozen　are　chosen。　A　Mord…Sith　is　broken　three　times。〃
　
　His　eyes　were　wide。　〃Three　times？〃　he　whispered。
　
　Denna　nodded。　〃The　first　is　the　way　in　which　I　broke　you；　to　break　the　spirit。　The　second　is　to　break　our　empathy。　To　do　it；　we　must　watch　our　trainer　break　our　mother；　and　make　her　his　pet；　and　watch　him　hurt　her　until　she　dies。　The　third　is　to　break　us　of　our　fear　of　hurting　another；　to　make　us　enjoy　giving　pain。　To　do　it；　we　must　break　our　fathers；　under　the　guidance　of　our　trainer；　and　make　him　our　pet；　and　keep　hurting　him　until　we　kill　him。〃
　
　Tears　trickled　down　Richard's　cheeks。　〃They　did　all　this　to　you？〃
　
　〃What　I　did　to　you；　to　break　you；　is　nothing　pared　to　what　must　be　done　to　us　to　break　us　the　second　and　third　time。　The　more　kindhearted　a　girl　is；　the　better　Sikh　she　makes；　but　it　makes　it　harder　to　break　her　the　second　and　third　time。　Master　Rahl　thinks　me　special　because　they　had　a　very　difficult　time　with　the　second　breaking　of　me。　My　mother　lived　a　long　time；　to　try　to　keep　me　from　giving　up　hope；　but　that　only　made　it　harder。　On　both　of　us。　They　failed　at　the　third　breaking；　had　given　up；　and　were　going　to　kill　me；　but　Master　Rahl　said　that　if　I　could　be　broken；　I　would　be　someone　special；　and　so　took　over　my　training　himself。　He　is　the　one　who　broke　me　the　third　time。　On　the　day　I　killed　my　father；　he　took　me　to　his　bed；　as　a　reward。　His　reward　left　me　barren。〃
　
　Richard　could　hardly　speak　past　the　lump　in　his　throat。　With　shaking　fingers；　he　brushed　some　of　her　hair　back　off　her　face。　〃I　don't　want　anyone　hurting　you。　Not　ever　again；　Mistress　Denna。〃
　
　〃It　is　an　honor；〃　Denna　whispered　through　tears；　〃that　Master　Rahl　would　spare　the　time　to　punish　one　as　low　as　me　with　my　own　Agiel。〃
　
　Richard　sat　numb。　〃I　hope　he　kills　me　tomorrow；　so　I　don't　have　to　learn　anything　else　that　gives　me　this　much　pain；　Mistress　Denna。〃
　
　Her　wet　eyes　shone　in　the　lamplight。　〃I　have　done　things　to　hurt　you　that　1　have　done　to　no　other；　yet　you　are　the　first　person　since　I　was　chosen　who　has　done　anything　to　stop　my　pain。〃　She　sat　up　and　picked　up　the　tin　bowl。　〃There　is　some　left。　Let　me　put　it　on　you　where　Constance　did　what　I　told　her　not　to。〃
　
　Denna　spread　the　aum　cream　on　the　welts　on　his　shoulders；　then　on　his　stomach　and　chest；　working　up　to　his　neck。　Her　eyes　met　his。　Her　hand　stopped。　The　room　was　dead　quiet。　Denna　leaned　forward　and　gently　kissed　him。　She　put　her　hand　with　the　cream　on　the　back　of　his　neck　and　kissed　him　again。
　
　She　lay　back　on　the　bed；　holding　his　hand　against　her　belly　with　both　of　hers。　〃e　to　me；　my　love。　I　want　you　very　badly　right　now。〃
　
　He　nodded　and　started　to　reach　for　the　Agiel　on　the　side　table。　Denna　touched　his　wrist。
　
　〃Tonight；　I　want　you　without　the　Agiel。　Please？　Teach　me　what　it's　like　without　the　pain？〃
　
　She　put　a　hand　behind　his　neck　and　gently　pulled　him　on　top　of　her
　
　CHAPTER　43
　DENNA　DIDN'T　TRAIN　HIM　the　next　morning；　but　instead　took　him　for　a　walk。　Master　Rahl　had　said　he　wanted　to　see　Richard　after　the　second　devotion。　After　it　was　over　and　they　were　starting　to　leave；　Constance