adventures and letters-第20节

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t　and　then　must　say　good…bye　to。　　The　young　ladies　and　Capt。　Buckle　and　Cust　came　down　to　see　me　off　and　Buckle　brought　me　a　photo　four　feet　long　of　Gib；　an　official　one　which　I　had　to　smuggle　out　with　a　great　show　of　secrecy　and　now　I　shall　be　sorry　to　leave　these　people。　　Just　as　I　wrote　that　one　of　the　officers　going　out　to　join　his　regiment　came　to　the　door　and　blushing　said　the　passengers　were　getting　up　a　round　robin　asking　me　to　stop　on　and　go　to　Cairo。

Since　writing　the　above　lots　of　things　have　happened。　　I　bid　farewell　to　everyone　at　Malta　and　yet　in　four　hours　I　was　back　again　bag　and　baggage　and　am　now　on　my　way　to　Cairo。　　Tunis　and　the　Bey　are　impossible。　　As　soon　as　I　landed　at　Malta　I　found　that　though　I　could　go　to　Tunis　I　could　not　go　away　without　being　quarantined　for　ten　days　and　if　I　remained　in　Malta　I　must　stay　a　week。　　On　balancing　a　week　of　Egypt　against　a　week　of　Malta　I　could　not　do　it　so　I　put　back　to　this　steamer　again　and　here　I　am。　Tomorrow　we　reach　Brindisi　and　we　have　already　passed　Sicily　and　had　a　glimpse　of　the　toe　of　Italy　and　it　is　the　coldest　sunny　Italy　that　I　ever　imagined。　　I　am　bitterly　disappointed　about　Tunis。　　I　have　no　letters　to　big　people　in　Cairo　only　subalterns　but　I　shall　probably　get　along。　　I　always　manage　somehow　with　my　〃artful　little　Ikey　ways。〃　　It　was　most　gratifying　to　mark　my　return　to　this　boat。　　One　young　woman　danced　a　Kangaroo　dance　and　the　Captain　wept　and　all　the　stewards　stood　in　a　line　and　grinned。　　I　sing　Chevalier's　songs　and　they　all　sit　in　the　dining　room　below　and　forget　to　lay　out　the　plates　and　last　night　some　of　the　Royal　Berkshire　with　whom　I　dined　at　Malta　came　on　board　and　after　hearing　the　Old　Kent　Road　were　on　the　point　of　Mutiny　and　refused　to　return　to　barracks。　　Great　is　the　Power　of　Chevalier　and　great　is　his　power　for　taking　you　back　to　London　with　three　opening　bars。　　Malta　was　the　queerest　place　I　ever　got　into。　　It　was　like　a　city；　country　and　island　made　of　cheese；　mouldy　cheese；　and　fresh　limburger　cheese　with　holes　in　it。　　You　sailed　right　up　to　the　front　door　as　it　were　and　people　were　hanging　out　of　the　windows　smoking　pipes　and　looking　down　on　the　deck　as　complacently　as　though　having　an　ocean　steamer　in　the　yard　was　as　much　a　matter　of　course　as　a　perambulator。　　There　were　also　women　with　black　hoods　which　they　wear　as　a　penance　because　long　ago　the　ladies　of　Malta　got　themselves　talked　about。　　I　was　on　shore　about　five　hours　and　saw　some　interesting　things　and　with　that　and　Brindisi　and　the　voyage　I　can　make　a　third　letter　but　Tunis　is　writ　on　my　heart　like　Calais。

Today　Cleveland　is　inaugurated　and　I　took　all　the　passengers　down　at　the　proper　time　and　explained　to　them　that　at　that　moment　a　great　man　was　being　made　president　and　gave　them　each　an　American　cocktail　to　remember　it　by　and　in　which　to　toast　him　I　am　getting　to　be　a　great　speech　maker　and　if　there　are　any　more　anniversaries　in　America　I　shall　be　a　second　Depew。

It　is　late　but　it　is　still　the　season　here　and　it　will　be　gay；　but　what　I　want　to　do　now　is　to　go　off　on　a　little　trip　inland　although　Cairo　is　the　worst　of　all　for　it　is　surrounded　by　deserts　and　nothing　to　shoot　but　antelope　and　foxes　and　those　I　SCORN。　　I　want　Zulus　and　lions。　　I　shall　be　greatly　disappointed　if　I　do　not　have　something　to　do　outside　of　Cairo　for　I　have　had　no　adventures　at　all。　　It　is　just　as　civilized　as　Camden　only　more　exciting　and　beautiful　although　Camden　is　exciting　when　you　have　to　get　there　and　back　in　time　for　the　last　edition。　　From　what　I　have　already　seen　I　am　ready　to　spend　a　month　in　Cairo　and　then　confess　to　knowing　nothing　of　it。　　But　we　shall　see。　　There　may　be　a　W　A　R　or　a　lion　hunt　or　something　yet　if　there　is　not　I　shall　come　back　here　again。　　I　must　fire　that　Winchester　off　at　least　once　just　for　all　the　trouble　it　has　given　me　at　custom　houses。　　Something　exciting　must　happen　or　I　shall　lose　faith　in　the　luck　of　the　British　army　which　marches　shoulder　to　shoulder　with　mine。　　If　I　don't　have　any　adventures　I　shall　write　essays　on　art　after　this　like　Mrs。　Van。　　Love　and　lots　of　it。

DICK。


CAIRO；　March　11；　1893。　DEAR　MOTHER：

In　a　famous　book　this　line　occurs；　〃He　determined　to　go　to　that　hotel　in　Cairo　where　they　were　to　have　spent　their　honeymoon；〃　or　words　like　that。　　He　is　now　at　that　hotel　and　you　can　buy　the　famous　book　across　the　street。　　It　is　called　〃Gallegher。〃　　Soin　this　way　everything　comes　to　him　who　waits　and　he　comes　to　it。　　〃Gallegher〃　is　not　the　only　thing　you　buy　in　Egypt。　　You　ride　to　the　Pyramids　on　a　brake　with　a　man　in　a　white　felt　hat　blowing　a　horn；　and　the　bugler　of　the　Army　of　Occupation　is　as　much　in　evidence　as　the　priest　who　calls　them　to　prayer　from　the　minaret。　　I　left　the　people　I　liked　on　the　Sultey　last　Thursday　in　the　Suez　Canal　and　came　on　here　in　a　special　train。　　It　is　very　cold　here；　and　it　is　not　a　place　where　the　cold　is　in　keeping　with　the　surroundings。　　You　see　people　in　white　helmets　and　astrakan　overcoats。　　It　is　an　immense　city　and　intensely　interesting；　especially　the　bazaars；　but　you　feel　so　ignorant　about　it　all　that　it　rather　angers　you。　　I　wish　I　was　not　such　a　very　bad　hand　at　languages。　　That　is　ONE　THING　I　cannot　do；　that　and　ride。　　I　need　it　very　much；　traveling　so　much；　and　I　shall　study　very　hard　while　I　am　in　Paris。　　Our　consul…general　here　is　a　very　young　man；　and　he　showed　me　a　Kansas　paper　when　I　called　on　him；　which　said　that　I　was　in　the　East　and　would　probably　call　on　〃Ed〃　L。　　He　is　very　civil　to　me　and　gives　me　his　carriages　and　outriders　with　gold　clothes　and　swords　whenever　I　will　take　them。

It　is　so　beastly　cold　here　that　it　spoils　a　lot　of　things；　and　there　are　a　lot　of　Americans　who　say；　〃I　had　no　idea　you　were　so　young　a　man；〃　and　that；　after　being　five　years　old　for　a　month　and　playing　children's　games　with　English　people　who　didn't　know　or　care　anything　about　you　except　that　you　made　them　laugh；　is　rather　trying。　　I　am　disappointed　so　far　in　the　trip　because　it　has　developed　nothing　new　beyond　the　fact　that　going　around　the　world　is　of　no　more　importance　than　going　to　breakfast；　and　I　am　selfish　in　my　sightseeing　and　want　to　see　things　others　do　not。　　And　if　you　even　do　see　more　than　those　who　are　not　so　fortunate　and　who　have　to　remain　at　home；　still　you　are　so　ignorant　in　comparison　with　those　who　have　lived　here　for　years　and　to　whom　the　whole　of　Africa　is　a　speculation　in　land　or　railroads；　it　makes　you　feel　like　such　a　faker　and　as　if　it　were　better　to　turn　correspondent　for　the　N。　Y。　Herald；　Paris　edition；　and　send　back　the　names　of　those　who　are　staying　at　the　hotels。　　That　is　really　all　you　can　speak　with　authority　about。　　When　you　have　Gordon　and　Stanley　dishes　on　the　bill…of…fare；　you　feel　ashamed　to　say　you've　been　in　Egypt。　　Anyway；　I　am　a　faker　and　I　don't　care；　and　I　proved　it　today　by　being　photographed　on　a　camel　in　front　of　the　Pyramids；　and　if　that　wasn't　impertinence　I　do　not　know　its　name。　　I　accordingly　went　and　bought　a　lot　of　gold　dresses　for　Nora　as　a　penance。

As　a　matter　of　fact；　unless　I　get　into　the　interior　for　a　month　and　see　something　new；　I　shall　consider　the　trip　a　failure；　except　as　a　most　amusing　holiday　for　one；　and　that　was　not　exactly　what　I　wanted　or　all　I　wanted。　　After　this　I　shall　go　to　big　cities　only　and　stay　there。　　Everybody　travels　and　everybody　sees　as　much　as　you　do　and　says　nothing　of　it；　certainly　does　not　presume　to　write　a　book　about　it。　　Anyway；　it　has　been　great　fun；　so　I　shall　put　it　down　to　that　and　do　some　serious　work　to　make　up　for　it。　　I'd　rather　have　written　a　good　story　about　the　Inauguration　than　about　Cairo。

I　am　well；　as　usual；　and　having　a　fine　loaf；　only　I　don't　think　much　of　what　I　have　writtenthat's　all。

DICK。

CAIRO；　March　19th；　1893。　DEAR　MOTHER：

I　went　up　the　Pyramids　yesterday　and　I　am　very　sore　today。　　It　sounds　easy　because　so　many　people　do　it；　but　they　do　it　because　they　don't　know。　　I　have　been　putting　it　off；　and　putting　it　off；　until　I　felt　ashamed　to　such　a　degree　that　I　had　to　go。　　Little　had　never　been　either；　so　we　went　out　together　and　met　Stanford　White　and　the　Emmetts　there；　and　we　all　went　up。　　I　would　rather　go　into　Central　Africa　than　do　it　again。　　I　am　getting　fat　and　that's　about　itand　I　had　to　half　pull　a　much　fatter　man　than　myself　who　pretended　to　help　me。　　I　finally　told　them　I'd　go　alone　unless　the　fat　man　went　away；　so　the　other　two　drove　him　off。　　Going　down　is　worse。　　It's　like　looking　over　a　precipice　all　the　time。　　I　was　so　glad　when　I　got　down　that　I　sang　with　glee。　　I　hate　work　like　that；　and　to　make　it　worse　I　took　everybody's　picture　on　top　of　the　Pyramid；　and　forgot　to　have　one　of　them　take　me；　so　there　is　no　way　to　prove　I　ever　went　up。　　Little　and　I　hired　two　donkeys　and　called　them　〃Gallegher〃　and　〃Van　Bibber〃　and　raced　them。　　My　donkey　was　so　little　that　they　couldn't　see　himonly　his　ears。　　Gallegher　won。　　The　donkey…boys　called　it　Von　Bebey；　so　I　don't　think　it　will　help　the　sale　of　the　book。

Today　we　went　to　call　on　the　Khedive。　　It　was　very　informal　and　too　democratic　to　suit　my　tastes。　　We　went　through　a　line　of　his　bodyguard　in　the　hall；　and　the　master　of　ceremonies　took　us　up　several　low　but　wide　stairways　to　a　hall。　　In　the　hall　was　a　little　fat　young　man　in　a