heartbreak house-第27节

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MRS　HUSHABYE。　And　I　tell　you；　Alf；　there　is　no　train　at　this
hour。　The　last　is　nine　forty…five。

MANGAN。　But　a　goods　train。

MRS　HUSHABYE。　Not　on　our　little　line。　They　tack　a　truck　on　to　the
passenger　train。　What　can　it　have　been；　Hector？

HECTOR。　Heaven's　threatening　growl　of　disgust　at　us　useless
futile　creatures。　＇Fiercely＇。　I　tell　you；　one　of　two　things　must
happen。　Either　out　of　that　darkness　some　new　creation　will　come
to　supplant　us　as　we　have　supplanted　the　animals；　or　the　heavens
will　fall　in　thunder　and　destroy　us。

LADY　UTTERWORD　＇in　a　cool　instructive　manner；　wallowing
comfortably　in　her　hammock＇。　We　have　not　supplanted　the　animals；
Hector。　Why　do　you　ask　heaven　to　destroy　this　house；　which　could
be　made　quite　comfortable　if　Hesione　had　any　notion　of　how　to
live？　Don't　you　know　what　is　wrong　with　it？

HECTOR。　We　are　wrong　with　it。　There　is　no　sense　in　us。　We　are
useless；　dangerous；　and　ought　to　be　abolished。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　Nonsense！　Hastings　told　me　the　very　first　day　he
came　here；　nearly　twenty…four　years　ago；　what　is　wrong　with　the
house。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　What！　The　numskull　said　there　was　something
wrong　with　my　house！

LADY　UTTERWORD。　I　said　Hastings　said　it；　and　he　is　not　in　the
least　a　numskull。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　What's　wrong　with　my　house？

LADY　UTTERWORD。　Just　what　is　wrong　with　a　ship；　papa。　Wasn't　it
clever　of　Hastings　to　see　that？

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　The　man's　a　fool。　There's　nothing　wrong　with　a
ship。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　Yes；　there　is。

MRS　HUSHABYE。　But　what　is　it？　Don't　be　aggravating；　Addy。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　Guess。

HECTOR。　Demons。　Daughters　of　the　witch　of　Zanzibar。　Demons。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　Not　a　bit。　I　assure　you；　all　this　house　needs　to
make　it　a　sensible；　healthy；　pleasant　house；　with　good　appetites
and　sound　sleep　in　it；　is　horses。

MRS　HUSHABYE。　Horses！　What　rubbish！

LADY　UTTERWORD。　Yes：　horses。　Why　have　we　never　been　able　to　let
this　house？　Because　there　are　no　proper　stables。　Go　anywhere　in
England　where　there　are　natural；　wholesome；　contented；　and　really
nice　English　people；　and　what　do　you　always　find？　That　the
stables　are　the　real　centre　of　the　household；　and　that　if　any
visitor　wants　to　play　the　piano　the　whole　room　has　to　be　upset
before　it　can　be　opened；　there　are　so　many　things　piled　on　it。　I
never　lived　until　I　learned　to　ride；　and　I　shall　never　ride
really　well　because　I　didn't　begin　as　a　child。　There　are　only　two
classes　in　good　society　in　England：　the　equestrian　classes　and
the　neurotic　classes。　It　isn't　mere　convention：　everybody　can　see
that　the　people　who　hunt　are　the　right　people　and　the　people　who
don't　are　the　wrong　ones。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　There　is　some　truth　in　this。　My　ship　made　a　man
of　me；　and　a　ship　is　the　horse　of　the　sea。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　Exactly　how　Hastings　explained　your　being　a
gentleman。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　Not　bad　for　a　numskull。　Bring　the　man　here　with
you　next　time：　I　must　talk　to　him。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　Why　is　Randall　such　an　obvious　rotter？　He　is　well
bred；　he　has　been　at　a　public　school　and　a　university；　he　has
been　in　the　Foreign　Office；　he　knows　the　best　people　and　has
lived　all　his　life　among　them。　Why　is　he　so　unsatisfactory；　so
contemptible？　Why　can't　he　get　a　valet　to　stay　with　him　longer
than　a　few　months？　Just　because　he　is　too　lazy　and
pleasure…loving　to　hunt　and　shoot。　He　strums　the　piano；　and
sketches；　and　runs　after　married　women；　and　reads　literary　books
and　poems。　He　actually　plays　the　flute；　but　I　never　let　him　bring
it　into　my　house。　If　he　would　only＇she　is　interrupted　by　the
melancholy　strains　of　a　flute　coming　from　an　open　window　above。
She　raises　herself　indignantly　in　the　hammock＇。　Randall；　you　have
not　gone　to　bed。　Have　you　been　listening？　＇The　flute　replies
pertly＇。　How　vulgar！　Go　to　bed　instantly；　Randall：　how　dare　you？
＇The　window　is　slammed　down。　She　subsides＇。　How　can　anyone　care
for　such　a　creature！

MRS　HUSHABYE。　Addy：　do　you　think　Ellie　ought　to　marry　poor　Alfred
merely　for　his　money？

MANGAN　＇much　alarmed＇。　What's　that？　Mrs　Hushabye；　are　my　affairs
to　be　discussed　like　this　before　everybody？

LADY　UTTERWORD。　I　don't　think　Randall　is　listening　now。

MANGAN。　Everybody　is　listening。　It　isn't　right。

MRS　HUSHABYE。　But　in　the　dark；　what　does　it　matter？　Ellie　doesn't
mind。　Do　you；　Ellie？

ELLIE。　Not　in　the　least。　What　is　your　opinion；　Lady　Utterword？
You　have　so　much　good　sense。

MANGAN。　But　it　isn't　right。　It＇Mrs　Hushabye　puts　her　hand　on
his　mouth＇。　Oh；　very　well。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　How　much　money　have　you；　Mr。　Mangan？

MANGAN。　ReallyNo：　I　can't　stand　this。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　Nonsense；　Mr　Mangan！　It　all　turns　on　your　income；
doesn't　it？

MANGAN。　Well；　if　you　come　to　that；　how　much　money　has　she？

ELLIE。　None。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　You　are　answered；　Mr　Mangan。　And　now；　as　you　have
made　Miss　Dunn　throw　her　cards　on　the　table；　you　cannot　refuse　to
show　your　own。

MRS　HUSHABYE。　Come；　Alf！　out　with　it！　How　much？

MANGAN　＇baited　out　of　all　prudence＇。　Well；　if　you　want　to　know；　I
have　no　money　and　never　had　any。

MRS　HUSHABYE。　Alfred；　you　mustn't　tell　naughty　stories。

MANGAN。　I'm　not　telling　you　stories。　I'm　telling　you　the　raw
truth。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　Then　what　do　you　live　on；　Mr　Mangan？

MANGAN。　Travelling　expenses。　And　a　trifle　of　commission。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　What　more　have　any　of　us　but　travelling
expenses　for　our　life's　journey？

MRS　HUSHABYE。　But　you　have　factories　and　capital　and　things？

MANGAN。　People　think　I　have。　People　think　I'm　an　industrial
Napoleon。　That's　why　Miss　Ellie　wants　to　marry　me。　But　I　tell　you
I　have　nothing。

ELLIE。　Do　you　mean　that　the　factories　are　like　Marcus's　tigers？
That　they　don't　exist？

MANGAN。　They　exist　all　right　enough。　But　they're　not　mine。　They
belong　to　syndicates　and　shareholders　and　all　sorts　of　lazy
good…for…nothing　capitalists。　I　get　money　from　such　people　to
start　the　factories。　I　find　people　like　Miss　Dunn's　father　to
work　them；　and　keep　a　tight　hand　so　as　to　make　them　pay。　Of
course　I　make　them　keep　me　going　pretty　well；　but　it's　a　dog's
life；　and　I　don't　own　anything。

MRS　HUSHABYE。　Alfred；　Alfred；　you　are　making　a　poor　mouth　of　it
to　get　out　of　marrying　Ellie。

MANGAN。　I'm　telling　the　truth　about　my　money　for　the　first　time
in　my　life；　and　it's　the　first　time　my　word　has　ever　been
doubted。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　How　sad！　Why　don't　you　go　in　for　politics；　Mr
Mangan？

MANGAN。　Go　in　for　politics！　Where　have　you　been　living？　I　am　in
politics。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　I'm　sure　I　beg　your　pardon。　I　never　heard　of　you。

MANGAN。　Let　me　tell　you；　Lady　Utterword；　that　the　Prime　Minister
of　this　country　asked　me　to　join　the　Government　without　even
going　through　the　nonsense　of　an　election；　as　the　dictator　of　a
great　public　department。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　As　a　Conservative　or　a　Liberal？

MANGAN。　No　such　nonsense。　As　a　practical　business　man。　＇They　all
burst　out　laughing＇。　What　are　you　all　laughing　at？

MRS　HUSHARYE。　Oh；　Alfred；　Alfred！

ELLIE。　You！　who　have　to　get　my　father　to　do　everything　for　you！

MRS　HUSHABYE。　You！　who　are　afraid　of　your　own　workmen！

HECTOR。　You！　with　whom　three　women　have　been　playing　cat　and
mouse　all　the　evening！

LADY　UTTERWORD。　You　must　have　given　an　immense　sum　to　the　party
funds；　Mr　Mangan。

MANGAN。　Not　a　penny　out　of　my　own　pocket。　The　syndicate　found　the
money：　they　knew　how　useful　I　should　be　to　them　in　the
Government。

LADY　UTTERWORD。　This　is　most　interesting　and　unexpected；　Mr
Mangan。　And　what　have　your　administrative　achievements　been；　so
far？

MANGAN。　Achievements？　Well；　I　don't　know　what　you　call
achievements；　but　I've　jolly　well　put　a　stop　to　the　games　of　the
other　fellows　in　the　other　departments。　Every　man　of　them　thought
he　was　going　to　save　the　country　all　by　himself；　and　do　me　out　of
the　credit　and　out　of　my　chance　of　a　title。　I　took　good　care　that
if　they　wouldn't　let　me　do　it　they　shouldn't　do　it　themselves
either。　I　may　not　know　anything　about　my　own　machinery；　but　I
know　how　to　stick　a　ramrod　into　the　other　fellow's。　And　now　they
all　look　the　biggest　fools　going。

HECTOR。　And　in　heaven's　name；　what　do　you　look　like？

MANGAN。　I　look　like　the　fellow　that　was　too　clever　for　all　the
others；　don't　I？　If　that　isn't　a　triumph　of　practical　business；
what　is？

HECTOR。　Is　this　England；　or　is　it　a　madhouse？

LADY　UTTERWORD。　Do　you　expect　to　save　the　country；　Mr　Mangan？

MANGAN。　Well；　who　else　will？　Will　your　Mr　Randall　save　it？

LADY　UTTERWORD。　Randall　the　rotter！　Certainly　not。

MANGAN。　Will　your　brother…in…law　save　it　with　his　moustache　and
his　fine　talk？

HECTOR。　Yes；　if　they　will　let　me。

MANGAN　＇sneering＇。　Ah！　Will　they　let　you？

HECTOR。　No。　They　prefer　you。

MANGAN。　Very　well　then；　as　you're　in　a　world　where　I'm
appreciated　and　you're　not；　you'd　best　be　civil　to　me；　hadn't
you？　Who　else　is　there　but　me？

LADY　UTTERWORD。　There　is　Hastings。　Get　rid　of　your　ridiculous
sham　democracy；　and　give　Hastings　the　necessary　powers；　and　a
good　supply　of　bamboo　to　bring　the　British　native　to　his　senses：
he　will　save　the　country　with　the　greatest　ease。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　It　had　better　be　lost。　Any　fool　can　govern　with
a　stick　in　his　hand。　I　could　govern　that　way。