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Mr。　Theobald　had　not　writ　about　it　sufficiently；　there　were　three

or　four　more　new　editions　of　his　plays　coming　out；　which　he　hoped

would　satisfy　every　one：　　concluding；　〃I　marvel　nothing　so　much

as　that　men　will　gird　themselves　at　discovering　obscure　beauties

in　an　author。　　Certes　the　greatest　and　most　pregnant　beauties　are

ever　the　plainest　and　most　evidently　striking；　and　when　two

meanings　of　a　passage　can　in　the　least　balance　our　judgments

which　to　prefer；　I　hold　it　matter　of　unquestionable　certainty

that　neither　of　them　is　worth　a　farthing。〃　　From　his　works　our

conversation　turned　on　his　monument；　upon　which；　Shakespeare；

shaking　his　sides；　and　addressing　himself　to　Milton；　cried　out；

〃On　my　word；　brother　Milton；　they　have　brought　a　noble　set　of

poets　together；　they　would　have　been　hanged　erst　have　＇ere　they

had＇　convened　such　a　company　at　their　tables　when　alive。〃　　〃True；

brother；〃　answered　Milton；　〃unless　we　had　been　as　incapable　of

eating　then　as　we　are　now。〃





CHAPTER　IX



More　adventures　in　Elysium。



A　crowd　of　spirits　now　joined　us；　whom　I　soon　perceived　to　be　the

heroes；　who　here　frequently　pay　their　respects　to　the　several

bards　the　recorders　of　their　actions。　　I　now　saw　Achilles　and

Ulysses　addressing　themselves　to　Homer；　and　Aeneas　and　Julius

Caesar　to　Virgil：　　Adam　went　up　to　Milton；　upon　which　I　whispered

Mr。　Dryden　that　I　thought　the　devil　should　have　paid　his

compliments　there；　according　to　his　opinion。　　Dryden　only

answered；　〃I　believe　the　devil　was　in　me　when　I　said　so。〃　

Several　applied　themselves　to　Shakespeare；　amongst　whom　Henry　V

made　a　very　distinguishing　appearance。　　While　my　eyes　were　fixed

on　that　monarch　a　very　small　spirit　came　up　to　me；　shook　me

heartily　by　the　hand；　and　told　me　his　name　was　THOMAS　THUMB。　　I

expressed　great　satisfaction　in　seeing　him；　nor　could　I　help

speaking　my　resentment　against　the　historian；　who　had　done　such

injustice　to　the　stature　of　this　great　little　man；　which　he

represented　to　be　no　bigger　than　a　span；　whereas　I　plainly

perceived　at　first　sight　he　was　full　a　foot　and　a　half　（and　the

37th　part　of　an　inch　more；　as　he　himself　informed　me）；　being

indeed　little　shorter　than　some　considerable　beaux　of　the　present

age。　　I　asked　this　little　hero　concerning　the　truth　of　those

stories　related　of　him；　viz。；　of　the　pudding；　and　the　cow's

belly。　　As　to　the　former；　he　said　it　was　a　ridiculous　legend；

worthy　to　be　laughed　at；　but　as　to　the　latter；　he　could　not　help

owning　there　was　some　truth　in　it：　　nor　had　he　any　reason　to　be　

ashamed　of　it；　as　he　was　swallowed　by　surprise；　adding；　with

great　fierceness；　that　if　he　had　had　any　weapon　in　his　hand　the

cow　should　have　as　soon　swallowed　the　devil。



He　spoke　the　last　word　with　so　much　fury；　and　seemed　so

confounded；　that；　perceiving　the　effect　it　had　on　him；　I

immediately　waived　the　story；　and；　passing　to　other　matters；　we

had　much　conversation　touching　giants。　　He　said；　so　far　from

killing　any；　he　had　never　seen　one　alive；　that　he　believed　those

actions　were　by　mistake　recorded　of　him；　instead　of　Jack　the

giant…killer；　whom　he　knew　very　well；　and　who　had；　he　fancied；

extirpated　the　race。　　I　assured　him　to　the　contrary；　and　told　him

I　had　myself　seen　a　huge　tame　giant；　who　very　complacently　stayed

in　London　a　whole　winter；　at　the　special　request　of　several

gentlemen　and　ladies；　though　the　affairs　of　his　family　called　him

home　to　Sweden。



I　now　beheld　a　stern…looking　spirit　leaning　on　the　shoulder　of

another　spirit；　and　presently　discerned　the　former　to　be　Oliver

Cromwell；　and　the　latter　Charles　Martel。　　I　own　I　was　a　little

surprised　at　seeing　Cromwell　here；　for　I　had　been　taught　by　my

grandmother　that　he　was　carried　away　by　the　devil　himself　in　a

tempest；　but　he　assured　me；　on　his　honor；　there　was　not　the　least

truth　in　that　story。　　However；　he　confessed　he　had　narrowly

escaped　the　bottomless　pit；　and；　if　the　former　part　of　his

conduct　had　not　been　more　to　his　honor　than　the　latter；　he　had

been　certainly　soused　into　it。　　He　was；　nevertheless；　sent　back

to　the　upper　world　with　this　lot：ARMY；　CAVALIER；　DISTRESS。



He　was　born；　for　the　second　time；　the　day　of　Charles　II's

restoration；　into　a　family　which　had　lost　a　very　considerable

fortune　in　the　service　of　that　prince　and　his　father；　for　which

they　received　the　reward　very　often　conferred　by　princes　on　real

merit；　viz。000。　　At　16　his　father　bought　a　small　commission　for

him　in　the　army；　in　which　he　served　without　any　promotion　all　the

reigns　of　Charles　II　and　of　his　brother。　　At　the　Revolution　he

quitted　his　regiment；　and　followed　the　fortunes　of　his　former

master；　and　was　in　his　service　dangerously　wounded　at　the　famous

battle　of　the　Boyne；　where　he　fought　in　the　capacity　of　a　private

soldier。　　He　recovered　of　this　wound；　and　retired　after　the

unfortunate　king　to　Paris；　where　he　was　reduced　to　support　a　wife

and　seven　children　（for　his　lot　had　horns　in　it）　by　cleaning

shoes　and　snuffing　candles　at　the　opera。　　In　which　situation；

after　he　had　spent　a　few　miserable　years；　he　died　half…starved

and　broken…hearted。　　He　then　revisited　Minos；　who；

compassionating　his　sufferings　by　means　of　that　family；　to　whom

he　had　been　in　his　former　capacity　so　bitter　an　enemy；　suffered

him　to　enter　here。



My　curiosity　would　not　refrain　asking　him　one　question；　i。　e。；

whether　in　reality　he　had　any　desire　to　obtain　the　crown？　　He

smiled；　and　said；　〃No　more　than　an　ecclesiastic　hath　to　the

miter；　when　he　cries　Nolo　episcopari。〃　　Indeed；　he　seemed　to

express　some　contempt　at　the　question；　and　presently　turned　away。



A　venerable　spirit　appeared　next；　whom　I　found　to　be　the　great

historian　Livy。　　Alexander　the　Great；　who　was　just　arrived　from

the　palace　of　death；　passed　by　him　with　a　frown。　　The　historian；

observing　it；　said；　〃Ay；　you　may　frown；　but　those　troops　which

conquered　the　base　Asiatic　slaves　would　have　made　no　figure

against　the　Romans。〃　　We　then　privately　lamented　the　loss　of　the

most　valuable　part　of　his　history；　after　which　he　took　occasion

to　commend　the　judicious　collection　made　by　Mr。　Hook；　which；　he

said；　was　infinitely　preferable　to　all　others；　and　at　my

mentioning　Echard's　he　gave　a　bounce；　not　unlike　the　going　off　of

a　squib；　and　was　departing　from　me；　when　I　begged　him　to　satisfy

my　curiosity　in　one　pointwhether　he　was　really　superstitious　or

no？　For　I　had　always　believed　he　was　till　Mr。　Leibnitz　had

assured　me　to　the　contrary。　　He　answered　sullenly；　〃Doth　Mr。

Leibnitz　know　my　mind　better　than　myself？〃　and　then　walked　away。





CHAPTER　X



The　author　is　surprised　at　meeting　Julian　the　apostate　in

Elysium；　but　is　satisfied　by　him　by　what　means　he　procured　his

entrance　there。　　Julian　relates　his　adventures　in　the　character

of　a　slave。



As　he　was　departing　I　heard　him　salute　a　spirit　by　the　name　of

Mr。　Julian　the　apostate。　　This　exceedingly　amazed　me；　for　I　had

concluded　that　no　man　ever　had　a　better　title　to　the　bottomless

pit　than　he。　　But　I　soon　found　that　this　same　Julian　the　apostate

was　also　the　very　individual　archbishop　Latimer。　　He　told　me　that

several　lies　had　been　raised　on　him　in　his　former　capacity；　nor

was　he　so　bad　a　man　as　he　had　been　represented。　　However；　he　had

been　denied　admittance；　and　forced　to　undergo　several　subsequent

pilgrimages　on　earth；　and　to　act　in　the　different　characters　of　a

slave；　a　Jew；　a　general；　an　heir；　a　carpenter；　a　beau；　a　monk；　a

fiddler；　a　wise　man；　a　king；　a　fool；　a　beggar；　a　prince；　a

statesman；　a　soldier；　a　tailor；　an　alderman；　a　poet；　a　knight；　a

dancing…master；　and　three　times　a　bishop；　before　his　martyrdom；

which；　together　with　his　other　behavior　in　this　last　character；

satisfied　the　judge；　and　procured　him　a　passage　to　the　blessed

regions。



I　told　him　such　various　characters　must　have　produced　incidents

extremely　entertaining；　and　if　he　remembered　all；　as　I　supposed

he　did；　and　had　leisure；　I　should　be　obliged　to　him　for　the

recital。　　He　answered　he　perfectly　recollected　every

circumstance；　and　as　to　leisure；　the　only　business　of　that　happy

place　was　to　contribute　to　the　happiness　of　each　other。　　He

therefore　thanked　me　for　adding　to　his；　in　proposing　to　him　a

method　of　increasing　mine。　　I　then　took　my　little　darling　in　one

hand；　and　my　favorite　fellow…traveler　in　the　other；　and；　going

with　him　to　a　sunny　bank　of　flowers；　we　all　sat　down；　and　he

began　as　follows：　〃I　suppose　you　are　sufficiently　acquainted

with　my　story　during　the　time　I　acted　the　part　of　the　emperor

Julian；　though　I　assure　you　all　which　hath　been　related　of　me　is

not　true；　particularly　with　regard　to　the　many　prodigies

forerunning　my　death。　　However；　they　are　now　very　little　worth

disputing；　and　if　they　can　serve　any　purpose　of　the　historian

they　are　extremely　at　his　service。　　〃My　next　entrance　into　the

world　was　at　Laodicea；　in　Syria；　in　a　Roman　family　of　no　great

note；　and；　being　of　a　roving　disposition；　I　came　at　th