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the　restraint　I　laid　on　myself　in　abstaining　from　the　several

diversions　adapted　to　my　years　cost　me　many　a　yearning；　but　the

pride　which　I　inwardly　enjoyed　in　the　fancied　dignity　of　my

character　made　me　some　amends。



〃Thus　I　passed　on；　without　anything　very　memorable　happening　to

me；　till　I　arrived　at　the　age　of　twenty…three；　when　unfortunately

I　fell　acquainted　with　a　young　Neapolitan　lady　whose　name　was

Ariadne。　　Her　beauty　was　so　exquisite　that　her　first　sight　made　a

violent　impression　on　me；　this　was　again　improved　by　her

behavior；　which　was　most　genteel；　easy；　and　affable：　　lastly；　her

conversation　completed　the　conquest。　　In　this　she　discovered　a

strong　and　lively　understanding；　with　the　sweetest　and　most

benign　temper。　　This　lovely　creature　was　about　eighteen　when　I

first　unhappily　beheld　her　at　Rome；　on　a　visit　to　a　relation　with

whom　I　had　great　intimacy。　　As　our　interviews　at　first　were

extremely　frequent；　my　passions　were　captivated　before　I

apprehended　the　least　danger；　and　the　sooner　probably；　as　the

young　lady　herself；　to　whom　I　consulted　every　method　of

recommendation；　was　not　displeased　with　my　being　her　admirer。



〃Ariadne；　having　spent　three　months　at　Rome；　now　returned　to

Naples；　bearing　my　heart　with　her：　　on　the　other　hand；　I　had　all

the　assurances　consistent　with　the　constraint　under　which　the

most　perfect　modesty　lays　a　young　woman；　that　her　own　heart　was

not　entirely　unaffected。　　I　soon　found　her　absence　gave　me　an

uneasiness　not　easy　to　be　borne　or　to　remove。　　I　now　first

applied　to　diversions　（of　the　graver　sort；　particularly　to

music）；　but　in　vain；　they　rather　raised　my　desires　and　heightened

my　anguish。　　My　passion　at　length　grew　so　violent；　that　I　began

to　think　of　satisfying　it。　　As　the　first　step　to　this；　I

cautiously　inquired　into　the　circumstances　of　Ariadne's　parents；

with　which　I　was　hitherto　unacquainted：　　though；　indeed；　I　did

not　apprehend　they　were　extremely　great；　notwithstanding　the

handsome　appearance　of　their　daughter　at　Rome。　　Upon　examination；

her　fortune　exceeded　my　expectation；　but　was　not　sufficient　to

justify　my　marriage　with　her；　in　the　opinion　of　the　wise　and

prudent。　　I　had　now　a　violent　struggle　between　wisdom　and

happiness；　in　which；　after　several　grievous　pangs；　wisdom　got　the

better。　　I　could　by　no　means　prevail　with　myself　to　sacrifice

that　character　of　profound　wisdom；　which　I　had　with　such　uniform

conduct　obtained；　and　with　such　caution　hitherto　preserved。　　I

therefore　resolved　to　conquer　my　affection；　whatever　it　cost　me；

and　indeed　it　did　not　cost　me　a　little。



〃While　I　was　engaged　in　this　conflict　（for　it　lasted　a　long　time）

Ariadne　returned　to　Rome：　　her　presence　was　a　terrible　enemy　to

my　wisdom；　which　even　in　her　absence　had　with　great　difficulty

stood　its　ground。　　It　seems　（as　she　hath　since　told　me　in　Elysium

with　much　merriment）　I　had　made　the　same　impressions　on　her　which

she　had　made　on　me。　　Indeed；　I　believe　my　wisdom　would　have　been

totally　subdued　by　this　surprise；　had　it　not　cunningly　suggested

to　me　a　method　of　satisfying　my　passion　without　doing　any　injury

to　my　reputation。　　This　was　by　engaging　her　privately　as　a

mistress；　which　was　at　that　time　reputable　enough　at　Rome；

provided　the　affair　was　managed　with　an　air　of　slyness　and

gravity；　though　the　secret　was　known　to　the　whole　city。



〃I　immediately　set　about　this　project；　and　employed　every　art　and

engine　to　effect　it。　　I　had　particularly　bribed　her　priest；　and

an　old　female　acquaintance　and　distant　relation　of　hers；　into　my

interest：　　but　all　was　in　vain；　her　virtue　opposed　the　passion　in

her　breast　as　strongly　as　wisdom　had　opposed　it　in　mine。　　She

received　my　proposals　with　the　utmost　disdain；　and　presently

refused　to　see　or　hear　from　me　any　more。



〃She　returned　again　to　Naples；　and　left　me　in　a　worse　condition

than　before。　　My　days　I　now　passed　with　the　most　irksome

uneasiness；　and　my　nights　were　restless　and　sleepless。　　The　story

of　our　amour　was　now　pretty　public；　and　the　ladies　talked　of　our

match　as　certain；　but　my　acquaintance　denied　their　assent；

saying；　'No；　no；　he　is　too　wise　to　marry　so　imprudently。'　　This

their　opinion　gave　me；　I　own；　very　great　pleasure；　but；　to　say

the　truth；　scarce　compensated　the　pangs　I　suffered　to　preserve

it。



〃One　day；　while　I　was　balancing　with　myself；　and　had　almost

resolved　to　enjoy　my　happiness　at　the　price　of　my　character；　a

friend　brought　me　word　that　Ariadne　was　married。　　This　news

struck　me　to　the　soul；　and　though　I　had　resolution　enough　to

maintain　my　gravity　before　him　（for　which　I　suffered　not　a　little

the　more）；　the　moment　I　was　alone　I　threw　myself　into　the　most

violent　fit　of　despair；　and　would　willingly　have　parted　with

wisdom；　fortune；　and　everything　else；　to　have　retrieved　her；　but

that　was　impossible；　and　I　had　now　nothing　but　time　to　hope　a

cure　from。　　This　was　very　tedious　in　performing　it；　and　the

longer　as　Ariadne　had　married　a　Roman　cavalier；　was　now　become　my

near　neighbor；　and　I　had　the　mortification　of　seeing　her　make　the

best　of　wives；　and　of　having　the　happiness　which　I　had　lost；

every　day　before　my　eyes。



〃If　I　suffered　so　much　on　account　of　my　wisdom　in　having　refused

Ariadne；　I　was　not　much　more　obliged　to　it　for　procuring　me　a

rich　widow；　who　was　recommended　to　me　by　an　old　friend　as　a　very

prudent　match；　and；　indeed；　so　it　was；　her　fortune　being　superior

to　mine　in　the　same　proportion　as　that　of　Ariadne　had　been

inferior。　　I　therefore　embraced　this　proposal；　and　my　character

of　wisdom　soon　pleaded　so　effectually　for　me　with　the　widow；　who

was　herself　a　woman　of　great　gravity　and　discretion；　that　I　soon

succeeded；　and　as　soon　as　decency　would　permit　（of　which　this

lady　was　the　strictest　observer）　we　were　married；　being　the

second　day　of　the　second　week　of　the　second　year　after　her

husband's　death；　for　she　said　she　thought　some　period　of　time

above　the　year　had　a　great　air　of　decorum。



〃But；　prudent　as　this　lady　was；　she　made　me　miserable。　　Her

person　was　far　from　being　lovely；　but　her　temper　was　intolerable。



During　fifteen　years'　habitation；　I　never　passed　a　single　day

without　heartily　cursing　her；　and　the　hour　in　which　we　came

together。　　The　only　comfort　I　received；　in　the　midst　of　the

highest　torments；　was　from　continually　hearing　the　prudence　of　my

match　commended　by　all　my　acquaintance。



〃Thus　you　see；　in　the　affairs　of　love；　I　bought　the　reputation　of

wisdom　pretty　dear。　　In　other　matters　I　had　it　somewhat　cheaper；

not　that　hypocrisy；　which　was　the　price　I　gave　for　it；　gives　one

no　pain。　　I　have　refused　myself　a　thousand　little　amusements　with

a　feigned　contempt；　while　I　have　really　had　an　inclination　to

them。　　I　have　often　almost　choked　myself　to　restrain　from

laughing　at　a　jest；　and　（which　was　perhaps　to　myself　the　least

hurtful　of　all　my　hypocrisy）　have　heartily　enjoyed　a　book　in　my

closet　which　I　have　spoken　with　detestation　of　in　public。　　To　sum

up　my　history　in　short；　as　I　had　few　adventures　worth

remembering；　my　whole　life　was　one　constant　lie；　and　happy　would

it　have　been　for　me　if　I　could　as　thoroughly　have　imposed　on

myself　as　I　did　on　others：　　for　reflection；　at　every　turn；　would

often　remind　me　I　was　not　so　wise　as　people　thought　me；　and　this

considerably　embittered　the　pleasure　I　received　from　the　public

commendation　of　my　wisdom。　　This　self…admonition；　like　a　memento

mori　or　mortalis　es；　must　be；　in　my　opinion；　a　very　dangerous

enemy　to　flattery：　　indeed；　a　weight　sufficient　to　counterbalance

all　the　false　praise　of　the　world。　　But　whether　it　be　that　the

generality　of　wise　men　do　not　reflect　at　all；　or　whether　they

have；　from　a　constant　imposition　on　others；　contracted　such　a

habit　of　deceit　as　to　deceive　themselves；　I　will　not　determine：

it　is；　I　believe；　most　certain　that　very　few　wise　men　know

themselves　what　fools　they　are；　more　than　the　world　doth。　　Good

gods！　could　one　but　see　what　passes　in　the　closet　of　wisdom！　how

ridiculous　a　sight　must　it　be　to　behold　the　wise　man；　who

despises　gratifying　his　palate；　devouring　custard；　the　sober　wise

man　with　his　dram…bottle；　or；　the　anti…carnalist　（if　I　may　be

allowed　the　expression）　chuckling　over　a　bdy　book　or　picture；

and　perhaps　caressing　his　house…maid！



〃But　to　conclude　a　character　in　which　I　apprehend　I　made　as

absurd　a　figure　as　in　any　in　which　I　trod　the　stage　of　earth；　my

wisdom　at　last　but　an　end　to　itself；　that　is；　occasioned　my

dissolution。　　



〃A　relation　of　mine　in　the　eastern　part　of　the　empire

disinherited　his　son；　and　left　me　his　heir。　　This　happened　in　the

depth　of　winter；　when　I　was　in　my　grand　climacteric；　and　had　just

recovered　of　a　dangerous　disease。　　As　I　had　all　the　reason

imaginable　to　apprehend　the　family　of　the　deceased　would　conspire

against　me；　and　embezzle　as　much　as　they　could；　I　advised　with　a

grave　and　wise　friend　what　was　proper　to　be　done；　whether　I

should　go　myself；　or　employ　a