ragged lady, v2-第21节

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willingness　to　punish　her　through　Clementina　was　akin　to　her　own。　　The
sick　woman　was　easily　flattered　back　into　her　first　belief　in　Mrs。　Milray
and　accepted　her　large　civilities　and　small　services　as　proof　of　her
virtues。　　She　began　to　talk　them　into　Clementina；　and　to　contrast　them
with　the　wicked　principles　and　actions　of　Miss　Milray。

The　girl　had　forgiven　Mrs。　Milray；　but　she　could　not　go　back　to　any　trust
in　her；　and　she　could　only　passively　assent　to　her　praise。　　When　Mrs。
Lander　pressed　her　for　anything　more　explicit　she　said　what　she　thought；
and　then　Mrs。　Lander　accused　her　of　hating　Mrs。　Milray；　who　was　more　her
friend　than　some　that　flattered　her　up　for　everything；　and　tried　to　make
a　fool　of　her。

〃I　undastand　now；〃　she　said　one　day；　〃what　that　recta　meant　by　wantin'　me
to　make　life　ba'd　for　you；　he　saw　how　easy　you　was　to　spoil。　　Miss　Milray
is　one　to　praise　you　to　your　face；　and　disgrace　you　be　hind　your　back；
and　so　I　tell　you。　　When　Mrs。　Milray　thought　you　done　wrong　she　come　and
said　so；　and　you　can't　forgive　her。〃

Clementina　did　not　answer。　　She　had　mastered　the　art　of　reticence　in　her
relations　with　Mrs。　Lander；　and　even　when　Miss　Milray　tempted　her　one　day
to　give　way；　she　still　had　strength　to　resist。　　But　she　could　not　deny
that　Mrs。　Lander　did　things　at　times　to　worry　her；　though　she　ended
compassionately　with　the　reflection：　〃She's　sick。〃

〃I　dont　think　she's　very　sick；　now；〃　retorted　her　friend。

〃No；　that's　the　reason　she's　so　worrying。　　When　she's　really　sick；　she's
betta。〃

〃Because　she's　frightened；　I　suppose。　　And　how　long　do　you　propose　to
stand　it？

〃I　don't　know；〃　Clementina　listlessly　answered。

〃She　couldnt　get　along　without　me。　　I　guess　I　can　stand　it　till　we　go
home；　she　says　she　is　going　home　in　the　fall。〃

Miss　Milray　sat　looking　at　the　girl　a　moment。

〃Shall　you　be　glad　to　go　home？〃

〃Oh　yes；　indeed！〃

〃To　that　place　in　the　woods？〃

〃Why；　yes！　　What　makes　you　ask？〃

〃Nothing。　　But　Clementina；　sometimes　I　think　you　don't　quite　understand
yourself。　　Don't　you　know　that　you　are　very　pretty　and　very　charming？
I've　told　you　that　often　enough！　　But　shouldn't　you　like　to　be　a　great
success　in　the　world？　　Haven't　you　ever　thought　of　that？　　Don't　you　care
for　society？〃

The　girl　sighed。　　〃Yes；　I　think　that's　all　very　nice　I　did　ca'e；　one
while；　there　in　Florence；　last　winter！〃

〃My　dear；　you　don't　know　how　much　you　were　admired。　　I　used　to　tell　you；
because　I　saw　there　was　no　spoiling　you；　but　I　never　told　you　half。　　If
you　had　only　had　the　time　for　it　you　could　have　been　the　greatest　sort　of
success；　you　were　formed　for　it。　　It　wasn't　your　beauty　alone；　lots　of
pretty　girls　don't　make　anything　of　their　beauty；　it　was　your
temperament。　　You　took　things　easily　and　naturally；　and　that's　what　the
world　likes。　　It　doesn't　like　your　being　afraid　of　it；　and　you　were　not
afraid；　and　you　were　not　bold；　you　were　just　right。〃　　Miss　Milray　grew
more　and　more　exhaustive　in　her　analysis；　and　enjoyed　refining　upon　it。
〃All　that　you　needed　was　a　little　hard…heartedness；　and　that　would　have
come　in　time；　you　would　have　learned　how　to　hold　your　own；　but　the　chance
was　snatched　from　you　by　that　old　cat！　　I　could　weep　over　you　when　I
think　how　you　have　been　wasted　on　her；and　now　you're　actually　willing　to
go　back　and　lose　yourself　in　the　woods！〃

〃I　shouldn't　call　it　being　lost；　Miss　Milray。〃

〃I　don't　mean　that；　and　you　must　excuse　me；　my　dear。　　But　surely　your
peopleyour　father　and　motherwould　want　to　have　you　get　on　in　the
worldto　make　a　brilliant　match〃

Clementina　smiled　to　think　how　far　such　a　thing　was　from　their
imaginations。　　〃I　don't　believe　they　would　ca'e。　　You　don't　undastand
about　them；　and　I　couldn't　make　you。　　Fatha　neva　liked　the　notion　of　my
being　with　such　a　rich　woman　as　Mrs。　Lander；　because　it　would　look　as　if
we　wanted　her　money。〃

〃I　never　could　have　imagined　that　of　you；　Clementina！〃

〃I　didn't　think　you　could；〃　said　the　girl　gratefully。　　〃But　now；　if　I
left　her　when　she　was　sick　and　depended　on　me；　it　would　look　wohse；　yet
as　if　I　did　it　because　she　was　going　to　give　her　money　to　Mr。　Landa's
family。　　She　wants　to　do　that；　and　I　told　her　to；　I　think　that　would　be
right；　don't　you？〃

〃It　would　be　right　for　you；　Clementina；　if　you　preferred　itandI
should　prefer　it。　　But　it　wouldn't　be　right　for　her。　　She　has　given　you
hopesshe　has　made　promisesshe　has　talked　to　everybody。〃

〃I　don't　ca'e　for　that。　　I　shouldn't　like　to　feel　beholden　to　any　one；
and　I　think　it　really　belongs　to　his　relations；　it　was　HIS。〃

Miss　Milray　did　not　say　anything　to　this。　　She　asked；　〃And　if　you　went
back；　what　would　you　do　there？　　Labor　in　the　fields；　as　poor　little
Belsky　advised？〃

Clementina　laughed。　　〃No；　but　I　expect　you'll　think　it's　almost　as　crazy。
You　know　how　much　I　like　dancing？　　Well；　I　think　I　could　give　dancing
lessons　at　the　Middlemount。　　There　are　always　a　good　many　children；　and
girls　that　have　not　grown　up；　and　I　guess　I　could　get　pupils　enough；　as
long　as　the　summa　lasted；　and　come　winter；　I'm　not　afraid　but　what　I
could　get　them　among　the　young　folks　at　the　Center。　　I　used　to　teach　them
before　I　left　home。〃

Miss　Milray　sat　looking　at　her。　　〃I　don't　know　about　such　things；　but　it
sounds　sensiblelike　everything　about　you；　my　dear。　　It　sounds　queer；
perhaps　because　you're　talking　of　such　a　White　Mountain　scheme　here　in
Venice。〃

〃Yes；　don't　it？〃　said　Clementina；　sympathetically。　　〃I　was　thinking　of
that；　myself。　　But　I　know　I　could　do　it。　　I　could　go　round　to　different
hotels；　different　days。　　Yes；　I　should　like　to　go　home；　and　they　would　be
glad　to　have　me。　　You　can't　think　how　pleasantly　we　live；　and　we're
company　enough　for　each　other。　　I　presume　I　should　miss　the　things　I've
got　used　to　ova　here；　at　fust；　but　I　don't　believe　I　should　care　a　great
while。　　I　don't　deny　but　what　the　wo'ld　is　nice；　but　you　have　to　pay　for
it；　I　don't　mean　that　you　would　make　me〃

〃No；　no！　　We　understand　each　other。　　Go　on！〃

Miss　Milray　leaned　towards　her　and　pressed　the　girl's　arm　reassuringly。

As　often　happens　with　people　when　they　are　told　to　go　on；　Clementina
found　that　she　had　not　much　more　to　say。　　〃I　think　I　could　get　along　in
the　wo'ld；　well　enough。　　Yes；　I　believe　I　could　do　it。　　But　I　wasn't　bohn
to　it；　and　it　would　be　a　great　deal　of　troublea　great　deal　moa　than　if
I　had　been　bohn　to　it。　　I　think　it　would　be　too　much　trouble。　　I　would
rather　give　it　up　and　go　home；　when　Mrs。　Landa　wants　to　go　back。〃

Miss　Milray　did　not　speak　for　a　time。　　〃I　know　that　you　are　serious；
Clementina；　and　you're　wise　always；　and　good〃

〃It　isn't　that；　exactly；〃　said　Clementina。　　〃But　is　itI　don't　know　how
to　express　it　very　wellis　it　wo'th　while？

Miss　Milray　looked　at　her　as　if　she　doubted　the　girl's　sincerity。　　Even
when　the　world；　in　return　for　our　making　it　our　whole　life；　disappoints
and　defeats　us　with　its　prizes；　we　still　question　the　truth　of　those　who
question　the　value　of　these　prizes；　we　think　they　must　be　hopeless　of
them；　or　must　be　governed　by　some　interest　momentarily　superior。

Clementina　pursued；　〃I　know　that　you　have　had　all　you　wanted　of　the
wo'ld〃

〃Oh；　no！〃　　the　woman　broke　out；　almost　in　anguish。　　〃Not　what　I　wanted！
What　I　tried　for。　　It　never　gave　me　what　I　wanted。　　Itcouldn't！〃

〃Well？〃

〃It　isn't　worth　while　in　that　sense。　　But　if　you　can't　have　what　you
want；if　there's　been　a　hollow　left　in　your　lifewhy　the　world　goes　a
great　way　towards　filling　up　the　aching　void。〃　　The　tone　of　the　last
words　was　lighter　than　their　meaning；　but　Clementina　weighed　them　aright。

〃Miss　Milray；〃　she　said；　pinching　the　edge　of　the　table　by　which　she　sat；
a　little　nervously；　and　banging　her　head　a　little；　〃I　think　I　can　have
what　I　want。〃　　Then；　give　the　whole　world　for　it；　child！〃

〃There　is　something　I　should　like　to　tell　you。〃

〃Yes！〃

For　you　to　advise　me　about。〃

I　will；　my　dear；　gladly　and　truly！

〃He　was　here　before　you　came。　　He　asked　me〃

Miss　Milray　gave　a　start　of　alarm。　　She　said；　to　gain　time：　〃How　did　he
get　here？　　I　supposed　he　was　in　Germany　with　his〃

〃No；　he　was　here　the　whole　of　May。〃

〃Mr。　Gregory！〃

〃Mr。　Gregory？〃　　Clementina's　face　flushed　and　drooped　Still　lower。
〃I　meant　Mr。　Hinkle。　　But　if　you　think　I　oughtn't〃

〃I　don't　think　anything；　I'm　so　glad！　　I　supposed　from　what　you　said
about　the　world；　that　it　must　be　But　if　it　isn't；　all　the　better。　　If
it's　Mr。　Hinkle　that　you　can　have〃

〃I'm　not　sure　I　can。　　I　should　like　to　tell　you　just　how　it　is；　and　then
you　will　know。〃　　It　needed　fewer　words　for　this　than　she　expected；　and
then　Clementina　took　a　letter　from　her　pocket；　and　gave　it　to　Miss
Milray。　　〃He　wrote　it　on　the　train；　going　away；　and　it's　not　very　plain；
but　I　guess　you　can　make　it　out。〃

Miss　Milray　received　the　penciled　leaves；　which　seemed　to　be　pages　torn
out　of　a　note…book。　　They　were　dated　the　day　Hinkle　left　Venice；　and　the
envelope　bore　the　postmark　of　Verona。　　They　were　not　addressed；　but　began
abruptly：　〃I　believe　I　have　made　a　mistake；　I　ought　not　to　have　given　you
up　till　I　knew　something　that　no　one　but　you　can　tell　me。　　You　are　not
bound　to　any　body　unless　you　wish　to　be　so。　　That　is　what　I