options-第37节

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We　found　her　fitting　a　new　cap　on　her　mother。　　I　never　saw　her　look　　more　charming。

North　made　himself　disagreeably　entertaining。　　He　was　a　good　talker；　　and　had　a　way　with　him。　　Besides；　he　had　two；　ten；　or　thirty　millions；　　I've　for　gotten　which。　　I　incautiously　admired　the　mother's　cap；　　whereupon　she　brought　out　her　store　of　a　dozen　or　two；　and　I　took　a　　course　in　edgings　and　frills。　　Even　though　Annie's　fingers　had　pinked；　　or　ruched；　or　hemmed；　or　whatever　you　do　to　'em；　they　palled　upon　me。　　　And　I　could　hear　North　drivelling　to　Annie　about　his　odious　Adirondack　　camp。

Two　days　after　that　I　saw　North　in　his　motor…car　with　Miss　Ashton　and　　her　mother。　　On　the　next　afternoon　he　dropped　in　on　me。

〃Bobby；〃　said　he；　〃this　old　burg　isn't　such　a　bad　proposition　in　the　　summer…time；　after　all。　　Since　I've　keen　knocking　around　it　looks　　better　to　me。　　There　are　some　first…rate　musical　comedies　and　light　　operas　on　the　roofs　and　in　the　outdoor　gardens。　　And　if　you　hunt　up　　the　right　places　and　stick　to　soft　drinks；　you　can　keep　about　as　cool　　here　as　you　can　in　the　country。　　Hang　it！　when　you　come　to　think　of　　it；　there's　nothing　much　to　the　country；　anyhow。　　You　get　tired　and　　sunburned　and　lonesome；　and　you　have　to　eat　any　old　thing　that　the　　cook　dishes　up　to　you。〃

〃It　makes　a　difference；　doesn't　it？〃　said　I。

〃It　certainly　does。　　Now；　I　found　some　whitebait　yesterday；　at　　Maurice's；　with　a　new　sauce　that　beats　anything　in　the　trout　line　I　　ever　tasted。〃

〃It　makes　a　difference；　doesn't　it？〃　I　said。

〃Immense。　　The　sauce　is　the　main　thing　with　whitebait。〃

〃It　makes　a　difference；　doesn't　it？〃　I　asked；　looking　him　straight　in　　the　eye。　　He　understood。

〃Look　here；　Bob；〃　he　said；　〃I　was　going　to　tell　you。　　I　couldn't　help　　it。　　I'll　play　fair　with　you；　but　I'm　going　in　to　win。　　She　is　the　　'one　particular'　for　me。〃

〃All　right；〃　said　I。　　〃It's　a　fair　field。　　There　are　no　rights　for　you　　to　encroach　upon。〃

On　Thursday　afternoon　Miss　Ashton　invited　North　and　myself　to　have　tea　　in　her　apartment。　　He　was　devoted；　and　she　was　more　charming　than　　usual。　　By　avoiding　the　subject　of　caps　I　managed　to　get　a　word　or　two　　into　and　out　of　the　talk。　　Miss　Ashton　asked　me　in　a　make…　conversational　tone　something　about　the　next　season's　tour。

〃Oh；〃　said　I；　〃I　don't　know　about　that。　　I'm　not　going　to　be　with　　Binkley　&　Bing　next　season。〃

〃Why；　I　thought；〃　said　she；　〃that　they　were　going　to　put　the　Number　　One　road　company　under　your　charge。　　I　thought　you　told　me　so。〃

〃They　were；〃　said　I；　〃but　they　won't。。　　I'll　tell　you　what　I'm　going　　to　do。　　I'm　going　to　the　south　shore　of　Long　Island　and　buy　a　small　　cottage　I　know　there　on　the　edge　of　the　bay。　　And　I'll　buy　a　catboat　　and　a　rowboat　and　a　shotgun　and　a　yellow　dog。　　I've　got　money　enough　　to　do　it。　　And　I'll　smell　the　salt　wind　all　day　when　it　blows　from　the　　sea　and　the　pine　odor　when　it　blows　from　the　land。　　And；　of　course；　　I'll　write　plays　until　I　have　a　trunk　full　of　'em　on　hand。

〃And　the　next　thing　and　the　biggest　thing　I'll　do　will　be　to　buy　that　　duck…farm　next　door。　　Few　people　understand　ducks。　　I　can　watch　'em　　for　hours。　　They　can　march　better　than　any　company　in　the　National　　Guard；　and　they　can　play　'follow　my　leader'　better　than　the　entire　　Democratic　party。　　Their　voices　don't　amount　to　much；　but　I　like　to　　hear　'em。　　They　wake　you　up　a　dozen　times　a　night；　but　there's　a　　homely　sound　about　their　quacking　that　is　more　musical　to　me　than　the　　cry　of　'Fresh　strawber…rees！'　under　your　window　in　the　morning　when　　you　want　to　sleep。

〃And；〃　I　went　on；　enthusiastically；　〃do　you　know　the　value　of　ducks　　besides　their　beauty　and　intelligence　and　order　and　sweetness　of　　voice？　　Picking　their　feathers　gives　you　an　unfailing　and　never　　ceasing　income。　　On　a　farm　that　I　know　the　feathers　were　sold　for　400　　in　one　year。　　Think　of　that！　　And　the　ones　shipped　to　the　market　will　　bring　in　more　money　than　that。　　Yes；　I　am　for　the　ducks　and　the　salt　　breeze　coming　over　the　bay。　　I　think　I　shall　get　a　Chinaman　cook；　and　　with　him　and　the　dog　and　the　sunsets　for　company　I　shall　do　well。　　No　　more　of　this　dull；　baking；　senseless；　roaring　city　for　me。〃

Miss　Ashton　looked　surprised。　　North　laughed。

〃I　am　going　to　begin　one　of　my　plays　tonight；〃　I　said；　〃so　I　must　be　　going。〃　　And　with　that　I　took　my　departure。

A　few　days　later　Miss　Ashton　telephoned　to　me；　asking　me　to　call　at　　four　in　the　afternoon。

I　did。

〃You　have　been　very　good　to　me；〃　she　said；　hesitatingly；　〃and　I　　thought　I　would　tell　you。　　I　am　going　to　leave　the　stage。〃

〃Yes；〃　said　I；　〃I　suppose　you　will。　　They　usually　do　when　there's　so　　much　money。〃

〃There　is　no　money；〃　she　said；　〃or　very　little。　　Our　money　is　almost　　gone。〃

〃But　I　am　told；〃　said　I；　〃that　he　has　something　like　two　or　ten　or　　thirty　millionsI　have　forgotten　which。〃

〃I　know　what　you　mean；〃　she　said。　　〃I　will　not　pretend　that　I　do　not。　　　I　am　not　going　to　marry　Mr。　　North。〃

〃Then　why　are　you　leaving　the　stage　？〃　I　asked；　severely。　　〃What　else　　can　you　do　to　earn　a　living？〃

She　came　closer　to　me；　and　I　can　see　the　look　in　her　eyes　yet　as　she　　spoke。

〃I　can　pick　ducks；〃　she　said。

We　sold　the　first　year's　feathers　for　350。




A　POOR　RULE



I　have　always　maintained；　and　asserted　ime　to　time；　that　woman　is　no　　mystery；　that　man　can　foretell；　construe；　subdue；　comprehend；　and　　interpret　her。　　That　she　is　a　mystery　has　been　foisted　by　herself　upon　　credulous　mankind。　　Whether　I　am　right　or　wrong　we　shall　see。　　As　　〃Harper's　Drawer〃　used　to　say　in　bygone　years：　〃The　following　good　　story　is　told　of　Miss　；　Mr。　；　Mr。　and　Mr。　。〃

We　shall　have　to　omit　〃Bishop　X〃　and　〃the　Rev。　；〃　for　they　do　not　　belong。

In　those　days　Paloma　was　a　new　town　on　the　line　of　the　Southern　　Pacific。　　A　reporter　would　have　called　it　a　〃mushroom〃　town；　but　it　　was　not。　　Paloma　was；　first　and　last；　of　the　toadstool　variety。

The　train　stopped　there　at　noon　for　the　engine　to　drink　and　for　the　　passengers　both　to　drink　and　to　dine。　　There　was　a　new　yellow…pine　　hotel；　also　a　wool　warehouse；　and　perhaps　three　dozen　box　residences。　　　The　rest　was　composed　of　tents；　cow　ponies；　〃black…waxy〃　mud；　and　　mesquite…trees；　all　bound　round　by　a　horizon。　　Paloma　was　an　about…to…　be　city。　　The　houses　represented　faith；　the　tents　hope；　the　twice…a…　day　train　by　which　you　might　leave；　creditably　sustained　the　role　of　　charity。

The　Parisian　Restaurant　occupied　the　muddiest　spot　in　the　town　while　　it　rained；　and　the　warmest　when　it　shone。　　It　was　operated；　owned；　and　　perpetrated　by　a　citizen　known　as　Old　Man　Hinkle；　who　had　come　out　of　　Indiana　to　make　his　fortune　in　this　land　of　condensed　milk　and　　sorghum。

There　was　a　four…room；　unpainted；　weather…boarded　box　house　in　which　　the　family　lived。　　From　the　kitchen　extended　a　〃shelter〃　made　of　poles　　covered　with　chaparral　brush。　　Under　this　was　a　table　and　two　benches；　　each　twenty　feet　long；　the　product　of　Paloma　home　carpentry。　　Here　was　　set　forth　the　roast　mutton；　the　stewed　apples；　boiled　beans；　soda…　biscuits；　puddinorpie；　and　hot　coffee　of　the　Parisian　menu。

Ma　Hinkle　and　a　subordinate　known　to　the　ears　as　〃Betty；〃　but　denied　　to　the　eyesight；　presided　at　the　range。　　Pa　Hinkle　himself；　with　　salamandrous　thumbs；　served　the　scalding　viands。　　During　rush　hours　a　　Mexican　youth；　who　rolled　and　smoked　cigarettes　between　courses；　aided　　him　in　waiting　on　the　guests。　　As　is　customary　at　Parisian　banquets；　I　　place　the　sweets　at　the　end　of　my　wordy　menu。

Ileen　Hinkle！

The　spelling　is　correct；　for　I　have　seen　her　write　it。　　No　doubt　she　　had　been　named　by　ear；　but　she　so　splendidly　bore　the　orthography　that　　Tom　Moore　himself　（had　he　seen　her）　would　have　indorsed　the　　phonography。

Ileen　was　the　daughter　of　the　house；　and　the　first　Lady　Cashier　to　　invade　the　territory　south　of　an　east…and…west　line　drawn　through　　Galveston　and　Del　Rio。　　She　sat　on　a　high　stool　in　a　rough　pine　grand…　standor　was　it　a　temple？under　the　shelter　at　the　door　of　the　　kitchen。　　There　was　a　barbed…wire　protection　in　front　of　her；　with　a　　little　arch　under　which　you　passed　your　money。　　Heaven　knows　why　the　　barbed　wire；　for　every　man　who　dined　Parisianly　there　would　have　died　　in　her　service。　　Her　duties　were　light；　each　meal　was　a　dollar；　you　　put　it　under　the　arch；　and　she　took　it。

I　set　out　with　the　intent　to　describe　Ileen　Hinkle　to　you。　　Instead；　I　　must　refer　you　to　the　volume　by　Edmund　Burke　entitled：　A　Philosophical　　Inquiry　into　the　Origin　of　Our　Ideas　of　the　Sublime　and　Beautiful。　　It　　is　an　exhaustive　treatise；　dealing　first　with　the　primitive　　conceptions　of　beautyroundness　and　smoothness；　I　think　they　are；　　according　to　Burke。　　It　is　well　said。　　Rotundity　is　a　patent　charm；　as　　for　smoothnessthe　more　new　wrinkles　a　woman　acquires；　the　smoother　　she　becomes。

Ileen　was　a　strictly　vegetable　compound；　guaranteed　under　the　Pure　　Ambrosia　and　Balm…of…Gilead　Act　of　the　year　of　the　fall　of　Adam。　　She　　was　a　fruit…stand　blonde…strawberries；　peaches；　cherries；　etc。　　Her　　eyes　were　wide　apart；　and　she　possessed　the　calm　that　precedes　a　storm　　that　never　comes。　　But　it　seems　to　me　that　words　（at　any　rate　per）　are　　wasted　in　an　effort　to　describe　the　beautiful。　　Like　fancy；　〃It　is　　engendered　in