options-第35节

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hair　lounges　and　three…legged　chairs　　and　some　framed　ancestors　on　the　walls　were　all　that　met　the　eye。　　But　　when　Colonel　Allyn　comes　in；　the　place　seemed　to　light　up。　　You　could　　almost　hear　a　band　playing；　and　see　a　bunch　of　old…timers　in　wigs　and　　white　stockings　dancing　a　quadrille。　　It　was　the　style　of　him；　　although　he　had　on　the　same　shabby　clothes　I　saw　him　wear　at　the　　station。

〃For　about　nine　seconds　he　had　me　rattled；　and　I　came　mighty　near　　getting　cold　feet　and　trying　to　sell　him　some　plate…glass。　　But　I　got　　my　nerve　back　pretty　quick。　　He　asked　me　to　sit　down；　and　I　told　him　　everything。　　I　told　him　how　I　followed　his　daughter　from　Cincinnati；　　and　what　I　did　it　for；　and　all　about　my　salary　and　prospects；　and　　explained　to　him　my　little　code　of　livingto　be　always　decent　and　　right　in　your　home　town；　and　when　you're　on　the　road；　never　take　more　　than　four　glasses　of　beer　a　day　or　play　higher　than　a　twenty…five…cent　　limit。　　At　first　I　thought　he　was　going　to　throw　me　out　of　the　window；　　but　I　kept　on　talking。　　Pretty　soon　I　got　a　chance　to　tell　him　that　　story　about　the　Western　Congressman　who　had　lost　his　pocket…book　and　　the　grass　widowyou　remember　that　story。　　Well；　that　got　him　to　　laughing；　and　I'll　bet　that　was　the　first　laugh　those　ancestors　and　　horsehair　sofas　had　heard　in　many　a　day。

〃We　talked　two　hours。　　I　told　him　everything　I　knew；　and　then　he　began　　to　ask　questions；　and　I　told　him　the　rest。　　All　I　asked　of　him　was　to　　give　me　a　chance。　　If　I　couldn't　make　a　hit　with　the　little　lady；　I'd　　clear　out；　and　not　bother　any　more。　　At　last　he　says：

〃'There　was　a　Sir　Courtenay　Pescud　in　the　time　of　Charles　I；　if　I　　remember　rightly。'

〃'If　there　was；'　says　I；　'he　can't　claim　kin　with　our　bunch。　　We've　　always　lived　in　and　around　Pittsburgh。　　I've　got　an　uncle　in　the　real…　estate　business；　and　one　in　trouble　somewhere　out　in　Kansas。　　You　can　　inquire　about　any　of　the　rest　of　us　from　anybody　in　old　Smoky　Town；　　and　get　satisfactory　replies。　　Did　you　ever　run　across　that　story　　about　the　captain　of　the　whaler　who　tried　to　make　a　sailor　say　his　　prayers？'　says　I。

〃'It　occurs　to　me　that　I　have　never　been　so　fortunate；'　says　the　　colonel。

〃So　I　told　it　to　him。　　Laugh！　　I　was　wishing　to　myself　that　he　was　a　　customer。　　What　a　bill　of　glass　I'd　sell　him！　　And　then　he　says：

〃'The　relating　of　anecdotes　and　humorous　occurrences　has　always　seemed　　to　me；　Mr。　　Pescud；　to　be　a　particularly　agreeable　way　of　promoting　　and　perpetuating　amenities　between　friends。　　With　your　permission；　I　　will　relate　to　you　a　fox…hunting　story　with　which　I　was　personally　　connected；　and　which　may　furnish　you　some　amusement。'

So　he　tells　it。　　It　takes　forty　minutes　by　the　watch。　　Did　I　laugh？　　　Well；　say！　　When　I　got　my　face　straight　he　calls　in　old　Pete；　the　　super…annuated　darky；　and　sends　him　down　to　the　hotel　to　bring　up　my　　valise。　　It　was　Elmcroft　for　me　while　I　was　in　the　town。

〃Two　evenings　later　I　got　a　chance　to　speak　a　word　with　Miss　Jessie　　alone　on　the　porch　while　the　colonel　was　thinking　up　another　story。

〃'It's　going　to　be　a　fine　evening；'　says　I。

〃'He's　coming；'　says　she。　　'He's　going　to　tell　you；　this　time；　the　　story　about　the　old　negro　and　the　green　watermelons。　　It　always　comes　　after　the　one　about　the　Yankees　and　the　game　rooster。　　There　was　　another　time；'　she　goes　on；　'that　you　nearly　got　leftit　was　at　　Pulaski　City。'

〃'Yes；'　says　I；　'I　remember。　　My　foot　slipped　as　I　was　jumping　on　the　　step；　and　I　nearly　tumbled　off。'

〃'I　know；'　says　she。　　'Andand　II　was　afraid　you　had；　John　A。　　I　　was　afraid　you　had。'

〃And　then　she　skips　into　the　house　through　one　of　the　big　windows。〃


IV


〃Coketown！〃　droned　the　porter；　making　his　way　through　the　slowing　car。

Pescud　gathered　his　hat　and　baggage　with　the　leisurely　promptness　of　　an　old　traveller。

〃I　married　her　a　year　ago；〃　said　John。　　〃I　told　you　I　built　a　house　in　　the　East　End。　　The　beltedI　mean　the　colonelis　there；　too。　　I　find　　him　waiting　at　the　gate　whenever　I　get　back　from　a　trip　to　hear　any　　new　story　I　might　have　picked　up　on　the　road。〃

I　glanced　out　of　the　window。　　Coketown　was　nothing　more　than　a　ragged　　hillside　dotted　with　a　score　of　black　dismal　huts　propped　up　against　　dreary　mounds　of　slag　and　clinkers。　　It　rained　in　slanting　torrents；　　too；　and　the　rills　foamed　and　splashed　down　through　the　black　mud　to　　the　railroad…tracks。

〃You　won't　sell　much　plate…glass　here；　John；〃　said　I。　　〃Why　do　you　get　　off　at　this　end…o'…the…world？〃

〃Why；〃　said　Pescud；　〃the　other　day　I　took　Jessie　for　a　little　trip　to　　Philadelphia；　and　coming　back　she　thought　she　saw　some　petunias　in　a　　pot　in　one　of　those　windows　over　there　just　like　some　she　used　to　　raise　down　in　the　old　Virginia　home。　　So　I　thought　I'd　drop　off　here　　for　the　night；　and　see　if　I　could　dig　up　some　of　the　cuttings　or　　blossoms　for　her。　　Here　we　are。　　Good…night；　old　man。　　I　gave　you　the　　address。　　Come　out　and　see　us　when　you　have　time。〃

The　train　moved　forward。　　One　of　the　dotted　brown　ladies　insisted　on　　having　windows　raised；　now　that　the　rain　beat　against　them。　　The　　porter　came　along　with　his　mysterious　wand　and　began　to　light　the　car。

I　glanced　downward　and　saw　the　best…seller。　　I　picked　it　up　and　set　it　　carefully　farther　along　on　the　floor　of　the　car；　where　the　rain…drops　　would　not　fall　upon　it。　　And　then；　suddenly；　I　smiled；　and　seemed　to　　see　that　life　has　no　geographical　metes　and　bounds。

〃Good…luck　to　you；　Trevelyan；〃　I　said。　　〃And　may　you　get　the　petunias　　for　your　princess！〃



RUS　IN　URBE



Considering　men　in　relation　to　money；　there　are　three　kinds　whom　I　　dislike：　men　who　have　more　money　than　they　can　spend；　men　who　have　　more　money　than　they　do　spend；　and　men　who　spend　more　money　than　they　　have。　　Of　the　three　varieties；　I　believe　I　have　the　least　liking　for　　the　first。　　But；　as　a　man；　I　liked　Spencer　Grenville　North　pretty　　well；　although　he　had　something　like　two　or　ten　or　thirty　millions　I've　forgotten　exactly　how　many。

I　did　not　leave　town　that　summer。　　I　usually　went　down　to　a　village　on　　the　south　shore　of　Long　Island。　　The　place　was　surrounded　by　duck…　farms；　and　the　ducks　and　dogs　and　whippoorwills　and　rusty　windmills　　made　so　much　noise　that　I　could　sleep　as　peacefully　as　if　I　were　in　my　　own　flat　six　doors　from　the　elevated　railroad　in　New　York。　　But　that　　summer　I　did　not　go。　　Remember　that。　　One　of　my　friends　asked　me　why　I　　did　not。　　I　replied：

〃Because；　old　man；　New　York　is　the　finest　summer　resort　in　the　world。〃　　　You　have　heard　that　phrase　before。　　But　that　is　what　I　told　him。

I　was　press…agent　that　year　for　Binkly　&　Bing；　the　theatrical　managers　　and　producers。　　Of　course　you　know　what　a　press…agent　is。　　Well；　he　is　　not。　　That　is　the　secret　of　being　one。

Binkly　was　touring　France　in　his　new　C。　　&　N。　　Williamson　car；　and　　Bing　had　gone　to　Scotland　to　learn　curling；　which　he　seemed　to　　associate　in　his　mind　with　hot　tongs　rather　than　with　ice。　　Before　　they　left　they　gave　me　June　and　July；　on　salary；　for　my　vacation；　　which　act　was　in　accord　with　their　large　spirit　of　liberality。　　But　I　　remained　in　New　York；　which　I　had　decided　was　the　finest　summer　resort　　in

But　I　said　that　before。　　

On　July　the　10th；　North　came　to　town　from　his　camp　in　the　Adirondacks。　　　Try　to　imagine　a　camp　with　sixteen　rooms；　plumbing；　eiderdown　quilts；　　a　butler；　a　garage；　solid　silver　plate；　and　a　long…distance　telephone。　　　Of　course　it　was　in　the　woodsif　Mr。　　Pinchot　wants　to　preserve　the　　forests　let　him　give　every　citizen　two　or　ten　or　thirty　million　　dollars；　and　the　trees　will　all　gather　around　the　summer　camps；　as　the　　Birnam　woods　came　to　Dunsinane；　and　be　preserved。

North　came　to　see　me　in　my　three　rooms　and　bath；　extra　charge　for　　light　when　used　extravagantly　or　all　night。　　He　slapped　me　on　the　back　　（I　would　rather　have　my　shins　kicked　any　day）；　and　greeted　me　with　　out…door　obstreperousness　and　revolting　good　spirits。　　He　was　　insolently　brown　and　healthy…looking；　and　offensively　well　dressed。

〃Just　ran　down　for　a　few　days；〃　said　he；　〃to　sign　some　papers　and　　stuff　like　that。　　My　lawyer　wired　me　to　come。　　Well；　you　indolent　　cockney；　what　are　you　doing　in　town？　　I　took　a　chance　and　telephoned；　　and　they　said　you　were　here。　　What's　the　matter　with　that　Utopia　on　　Long　Island　where　you　used　to　take　your　typewriter　and　your　villanous　　temper　every　summer？　　Anything　wrong　with　theerswans；　weren't　　they；　that　used　to　sing　on　the　farms　at　night？〃

〃Ducks；〃　said　I。　　〃The　songs　of　swans　are　for　luckier　ears。　　They　swim　　and　curve　their　necks　in　artificial　lakes　on　the　estates　of　the　　wealthy　to　delight　the　eyes　of　the　favorites　of　Fortune。〃

〃Also　in　Central　Park；〃　said　North；　〃to　delight　the　eyes　of　immigrants　　and　bummers。　　I've　seen　em　there　lots　of　times。　　But　why　are　you　in　　the　city　so　late　in　the　summer？〃

〃New　York　City；〃　I　began　to　recite；　〃is　the　finest　sum〃

〃No；　you　don't；〃　said　North；　emphatically。　　〃You　don't　spring　that　old　　one　on　me。　　I　know　you　know　better。　　Man；　you　ought　to　have　gone　up　　with　us　this　summer。　　The　Prestons　are　there；　and　Tom　Volney　and　the　　Monroes　and　Lulu　Stanford　and　the　Miss　Kennedy　and　her　aunt　that　you　　liked　so　well。〃

〃I　never　liked　Miss　Kennedy's　aunt；〃　I　sai