those extraordinary twins-第13节

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their　shoulders；　but　that　people　might　think　they　were　carrying　Luigi。

Far　into　the　night　the　citizens　continued　to　discuss　and　wonder　over　the
strangely　mated　pair　of　incidents　that　had　distinguished　and　exalted　the
past　twenty…four　hours　above　any　other　twenty…four　in　the　history　of
their　town　for　picturesqueness　and　splendid　interest；　and　long　before　the
lights　were　out　and　burghers　asleep　it　had　been　decided　on　all　hands　that
in　capturing　these　twins　Dawson's　Landing　had　drawn　a　prize　in　the　great
lottery　of　municipal　fortune。

At　midnight　Angelo　was　sleeping　peacefully。　　His　immersion　had　not　harmed
him；　it　had　merely　made　him　wholesomely　drowsy；　and　he　had　been　dead
asleep　many　hours　now。　　It　had　made　Luigi　drowsy；　too；　but　he　had　got
only　brief　naps；　on　account　of　his　having　to　take　the　medicine　every
three…quarters　of　an　hour…and　Aunt　Betsy　Hale　was　there　to　see　that　he
did　it。　　When　he　complained　and　resisted；　she　was　quietly　firm　with　him；
and　said　in　a　low　voice：

〃No…no；　that　won't　do；　you　mustn't　talk；　and　you　mustn't　retch　and　gag
that　way；　eitheryou'll　wake　up　your　poor　brother。〃

〃Well；　what　of　it；　Aunt　Betsy；　he〃

〃'Sh…h！　　Don't　make　a　noise；　dear。　　You　mustn't：　forget　that　your　poor
brother　is　sick　and〃

〃Sick；　is　he？　　Well；　I　wish　I〃

〃'Sh…h…h！　　Will　you　be　quiet；　Luigi！　　Here；　now；　take　the　rest　of　it
don't　keep　me　holding　the　dipper　all　night。　　I　declare　if　you　haven't
left　a　good　fourth　of　it　in　the　bottom！　　Come…that's　a　good

〃Aunt　Betsy；　don't　make　me！　　I　feel　like　I've　swallowed　a　cemetery；　I　do；
indeed。　　Do　let　me　rest　a　littlejust　a　little；　I　can't　take　any　more　of
the　devilish　stuff　now。〃

〃Luigi！　　Using　such　language　here；　and　him　just　baptized！　　Do　you　want
the　roof　to　fall　on　you？〃

〃I　wish　to　goodness　it　would！〃

〃Why；　you　dreadful　thing！　　I've　a　good　notion　tolet　that　blanket　alone；
do　you　want　your；　brother　to　catch　his　death？〃

〃Aunt　Betsy；　I've　got　to　have　it　off；　I'm　being　roasted　alive；　nobody
could　stand　ityou　couldn't　yourself。〃

〃Now；　then；　you're　sneezing　againI　just　expected　it。〃

〃Because　I've　caught　a　cold　in　my　head。　　I　always　do；　when　I　go　in　the
water　with　my　clothes　on。　　And　it　takes　me　weeks　to　get　over　it；　too。
I　think　it　was　a　shame　to　serve　me　so。〃

〃Luigi；　you　are　unreasonable；　you　know　very　well　they　couldn't　baptize
him　dry。　　I　should　think　you　would　be　willing　to　undergo　a　little
inconvenience　for　your　brother's　sake。〃

〃Inconvenience！　　Now　how　you　talk；　Aunt　Betsy。　　I　came　as　near　as
anything　to　getting　drowned　you　saw　that　yourself；　and　do　you　call　this
inconvenience？the　room　shut　up　as　tight　as　a　drum；　and　so　hot　the
mosquitoes　are　trying　to　get　out；　and　a　cold　in　the　head；　and　dying　for
sleep　and　no　chance　to　get　anyon　account　of　this　infamous　medicine　that
that　assassin　prescri〃

〃There；　you're　sneezing　again。　　I'm　going　down　and　mix　some　more　of　this
truck　for　you；　dear。〃




CHAPTER　IX

THE　DRINKLESS　DRUNK

During　Monday；　Tuesday；　and　Wednesday　the　twins　grew　steadily　worse；　but
then　the　doctor　was　summoned　South　to　attend　his　mother's　funeral；　and
they　got　well　in　forty…eight　hours。　　They　appeared　on　the　street　on
Friday；　and　were　welcomed　with　enthusiasm　by　the　new…born　parties；　the
Luigi　and　Angelo　factions。　　The　Luigi　faction　carried　its　strength　into
the　Democratic　party；　the　Angelo　faction　entered　into　a　combination　with
the　Whigs。　　The　Democrats　nominated　Luigi　for　alderman　under　the　new　city
government；　and　the　Whigs　put　up　Angelo　against　him。　　The　Democrats
nominated　Pudd'nhead　Wilson　for　mayor；　and　he　was　left　alone　in　this
glory；　for　the　Whigs　had　no　man　who　was　willing　to　enter　the　lists
against　such　a　formidable　opponent。　　No　politician　had　scored　such　a
compliment　as　this　before　in　the　history　of　the　Mississippi　Valley。

The　political　campaign　in　Dawson's　Landing　opened　in　a　pretty　warm
fashion；　and　waned　hotter　every　week。　　Luigi's　whole　heart　was　in　it；
and　even　Angelo　developed　a　surprising　amount　of　interest…which　was
natural；　because　he　was　not　merely　representing　Whigism；　a　matter　of　no
consequence　to　him；　but　he　was　representing　something　immensely　finer　and
greaterto　wit；　Reform。　　In　him　was　centered　the　hopes　of　the　whole
reform　element　of　the　town；　he　was　the　chosen　and　admired　champion　of
every　clique　that　had　a　pet　reform　of　any　sort　or　kind　at　heart。　　He　was
president　of　the　great　Teetotalers'　Union；　its　chiefest　prophet　and
mouthpiece。

But　as　the　canvass　went　on；　troubles　began　to　spring　up　all　around
troubles　for　the　twins；　and　through　them　for　all　the　parties　and　segments
and　factions　of　parties。　　Whenever　Luigi　had　possession　of　the　legs；　he
carried　Angelo　to　balls；　rum　shops；　Sons　of　Liberty　parades；　horse…
races；　campaign　riots；　and　everywhere　else　that　could　damage　him　with　his
party　and　the　church；　and　when　it　was　Angelo's　week　he　carried　Luigi
diligently　to　all　manner　of　moral　and　religious　gatherings；　doing　his
best　to　regain　the　ground　he　had　lost　before。　　As　a　result　of　these
double　performances；　there　was　a　storm　blowing　all　the　time；　an　ever…
rising　storm；　tooa　storm　of　frantic　criticism　of　the　twins；　and　rage
over　their　extravagant；　incomprehensible　conduct。

Luigi　had　the　final　chance。　　The　legs　were　his　for　the　closing　week　of
the　canvass。　　He　led　his　brother　a　fearful　dance。

But　he　saved　his　best　card　for　the　very　eve　of　the　election。　　There　was
to　be　a　grand　turnout　of　the　Teetotalers'　Union　that　day；　and　Angelo　was
to　march　at　the　head　of　the　procession　and　deliver　a　great　oration
afterward。　　Luigi　drank　a　couple　of　glasses　of　whiskywhich　steadied　his
nerves　and　clarified　his　mind；　but　made　Angelo　drunk。　　Everybody　who　saw
the　march；　saw　that　the　Champion　of　the　Teetotalers　was　half　seas　over；
and　noted　also　that　his　brother；　who　made　no　hypocritical　pretensions　to
extra　temperance　virtues；　was　dignified　and　sober。　　This　eloquent　fact
could　not　be　unfruitful　at　the　end　of　a　hot　political　canvass。　　At　the
mass…meeting　Angelo　tried　to　make　his　great　temperance　oration；　but　was
so　discommodedby　hiccoughs　and　thickness　of　tongue　that　he　had　to　give
it　up；　then　drowsiness　overtook　him　and　his　head　drooped　against　Luigi's
and　he　went　to　sleep。　　Luigi　apologized　for　him；　and　was　going　on　to
improve　his　opportunity　with　an　appeal　for　a　moderation　of　what　he　called
〃the　prevailing　teetotal　madness；〃　but　persons　in　the　audience　began　to
howl　and　throw　things　at　him；　and　then　the　meeting　rose　in　wrath　and
chased　him　home。

This　episode　was　a　crusher　for　Angelo　in　another　way。　　It　destroyed　his
chances　with　Rowena。　　Those　chances　had　been　growing；　right　along；　for
two　months。　　Rowena　had　partly　confessed　that　she　loved　him；　but　wanted
time　to　consider。　　Now　the　tender　dream　was　ended；　and　she　told　him　so
the　moment　he　was　sober　enough　to　understand。　　She　said　she　would　never
marry　a　man　who　drank。

〃But　I　don't　drink；〃　he　pleaded。

〃That　is　nothing　to　the　point；〃　she　said；　coldly；　〃you　get　drunk；　and
that　is　worse。〃

＇There　was　a　long　and　sufficiently　idiotic　discussion　here；　which　ended
as　reported　in　a　previous　note。＇




CHAPTER　X

SO　THEY　HANGED　LUIGI

Dawson's　Landing　had　a　week　of　repose；　after　the　election；　and　it　needed
it；　for　the　frantic　and　variegated　nightmare　which　had　tormented　it　all
through　the　preceding　week　had　left　it　limp；　haggard；　and　exhausted　at
the　end。　　It　got　the　week　of　repose　because　Angelo　had　the　legs；　and　was
in　too　subdued　a　condition　to　want　to　go　out　and　mingle　with　an　irritated
community　that　had　come　to　disgust　and　detest　him　because　there　was　such
a　lack　of　harmony　between　his　morals；　which　were　confessedly　excellent；
and　his　methods　of　illustrating　them；　which　were　distinctly　damnable。
The　new　city　officers　were　sworn　in　on　the　following　Mondayat　least　all
but　Luigi。　　There　was　a　complication　in　his　case。　　His　election　was
conceded；　but　he　could　not　sit　in　the　board　of　aldermen　without　his
brother；　and　his　brother　could　not　sit　there　because　he　was　not　a　member。
There　seemed　to　be　no　way　out　of　the　difficulty　but　to　carry　the　matter
into　the　courts；　so　this　was　resolved　upon。

The　case　was　set　for　the　Monday　fortnight。　　In　due　course　the　time
arrived。　　In　the　mean　time　the　city　government　had　been　at　a　standstill；
because　with　out　Luigi　there　was　a　tie　in　the　board　of　aldermen；　whereas
with　him　the　liquor　interestthe　richest　in　the　political　fieldwould
have　one　majority。　　But　the　court　decided　that　Angelo　could　not　sit　in
the　board　with　him；　either　in　public　or　executive　sessions；　and　at　the
same　time　forbade　the　board　to　deny　admission　to　Luigi；　a　fairly　and
legally　chosen　alderman。　　The　case　was　carried　up　and　up　from　court　to
court；　yet　still　the　same　old　original　decision　was　confirmed　every　time。
As　a　result；　the　city　government　not　only　stood　still；　with　its　hands
tied；　but　everything　it　was　created　to　protect　and　care　for　went　a　steady
gait　toward　rack　and　ruin。　　There　was　no　way　to　levy　a　tax；　so　the　minor
officials　had　to　resign　or　starve；　therefore　they　resigned。　　There　being
no　city　money；　the　enormous　legal　expenses　on　both　sides　had　to　be
defrayed　by　private　subscription。　　But　at　last　the　people　came　to　their