stories by modern american authors-第65节

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shall　I　bear　witness　against　thee。〃



Perceiving　that　Carwin　did　not　obey；　he　continued；　〃Dost　thou　wish

me　to　complete　the　catalogue　by　thy　death？　　Thy　life　is　a　worthless

thing。　　Tempt　me　no　more。　　I　am　but　a　man；　and　thy　presence　may

awaken　a　fury　which　may　spurn　my　control。　　Begone！〃



Carwin；　irresolute；　striving　in　vain　for　utterance；　his　complexion

pallid　as　death；　his　knees　beating　one　against　another；　slowly

obeyed　the　mandate　and　withdrew。





II





A　few　words　more　and　I　lay　aside　the　pen　forever。　　Yet　why　should　I

not　relinquish　it　now？　　All　that　I　have　said　is　preparatory　to　this

scene；　and　my　fingers；　tremulous　and　cold　as　my　heart；　refuse　any

further　exertion。　　This　must　not　be。　　Let　my　last　energies　support

me　in　the　finishing　of　this　task。　　Then　will　I　lay　down　my　head　in

the　lap　of　death。　　Hushed　will　be　all　my　murmurs　in　the　sleep　of

the　grave。



Every　sentiment　has　perished　in　my　bosom。　　Even　friendship　is

extinct。　　Your　love　for　me　has　prompted　me　to　this　task；　but　I

would　not　have　complied　if　it　had　not　been　a　luxury　thus　to　feast

upon　my　woes。　　I　have　justly　calculated　upon　my　remnant　of

strength。　　When　I　lay　down　the　pen　the　taper　of　life　will　expire；

my　existence　will　terminate　with　my　tale。



Now　that　I　was　left　alone　with　Wieland；　the　perils　of　my　situation

presented　themselves　to　my　mind。　　That　this　paroxysm　should

terminate　in　havoc　and　rage　it　was　reasonable　to　predict。　　The

first　suggestion　of　my　fears　had　been　disproved　by　my　experience。

Carwin　had　acknowledged　his　offenses；　and　yet　had　escaped。　　The

vengeance　which　I　had　harbored　had　not　been　admitted　by　Wieland；

and　yet　the　evils　which　I　had　endured；　compared　with　those

inflicted　on　my　brother；　were　as　nothing。　　I　thirsted　for　his

blood；　and　was　tormented　with　an　insatiable　appetite　for　his

destruction；　but　my　brother　was　unmoved；　and　had　dismissed　him　in

safety。　　Surely　thou　wast　more　than　man；　while　I　am　sunk　below　the

beasts。



Did　I　place　a　right　construction　on　the　conduct　of　Wieland？　　Was

the　error　that　misled　him　so　easily　rectified？　　Were　views　so　vivid

and　faith　so　strenuous　thus　liable　to　fading　and　to　change？　　Was

there　not　reason　to　doubt　the　accuracy　of　my　perceptions？　　With

images　like　these　was　my　mind　thronged；　till　the　deportment　of　my

brother　called　away　my　attention。



I　saw　his　lips　move　and　his　eyes　cast　up　to　heaven。　　Then　would　he

listen　and　look　back；　as　if　in　expectation　of　some　one's

appearance。　　Thrice　he　repeated　these　gesticulations　and　this

inaudible　prayer。　　Each　time　the　mist　of　confusion　and　doubt　seemed

to　grow　darker　and　to　settle　on　his　understanding。　　I　guessed　at

the　meaning　of　these　tokens。　　The　words　of　Carwin　had　shaken　his

belief；　and　he　was　employed　in　summoning　the　messenger　who　had

formerly　communed　with　him；　to　attest　the　value　of　those　new

doubts。　　In　vain　the　summons　was　repeated；　for　his　eye　met　nothing

but　vacancy；　and　not　a　sound　saluted　his　ear。



He　walked　to　the　bed；　gazed　with　eagerness　at　the　pillow　which　had

sustained　the　head　of　the　breathless　Catharine；　and　then　returned

to　the　place　where　I　sat。　　I　had　no　power　to　lift　my　eyes　to　his

face：　I　was　dubious　of　his　purpose；　this　purpose　might　aim　at　my

life。



Alas！　nothing　but　subjection　to　danger　and　exposure　to　temptation

can　show　us　what　we　are。　　By　this　test　was　I　now　tried；　and　found

to　be　cowardly　and　rash。　　Men　can　deliberately　untie　the　thread　of

life；　and　of　this　I　had　deemed　myself　capable。　　It　was　now　that　I

stood　upon　the　brink　of　fate；　that　the　knife　of　the　sacrificer　was

aimed　at　my　heart；　I　shuddered；　and　betook　myself　to　any　means　of

escape；　however　monstrous。



Can　I　bear　to　thinkcan　I　endure　to　relate　the　outrage　which　my

heart　meditated？　　Where　were　my　means　of　safety？　　Resistance　was

vain。　　Not　even　the　energy　of　despair　could　set　me　on　a　level　with

that　strength　which　his　terrific　prompter　had　bestowed　upon

Wieland。　　Terror　enables　us　to　perform　incredible　feats；　but　terror

was　not　then　the　state　of　my　mind：　where　then　were　my　hopes　of

rescue？



Methinks　it　is　too　much。　　I　stand　aside；　as　it　were；　from　myself；　I

estimate　my　own　deservings；　a　hatred；　immortal　and　inexorable；　is

my　due。　　I　listen　to　my　own　pleas；　and　find　them　empty　and　false：

yes；　I　acknowledge　that　my　guilt　surpasses　that　of　mankind；　I

confess　that　the　curses　of　a　world　and　the　frowns　of　a　Deity　are

inadequate　to　my　demerits。　　Is　there　a　thing　in　the　world　worthy　of

infinite　abhorrence？　　It　is　I。



What　shall　I　say？　　I　was　menaced；　as　I　thought；　with　death；　and；　to

elude　this　evil；　my　hand　was　ready　to　inflict　death　upon　the

menacer。　　In　visiting　my　house；　I　had　made　provision　against　the

machinations　of　Carwin。　　In　a　fold　of　my　dress　an　open　penknife　was

concealed。　　This　I　now　seized　and　drew　forth。　　It　lurked　out　of

view；　but　I　now　see　that　my　state　of　mind　would　have　rendered　the

deed　inevitable　if　my　brother　had　lifted　his　hand。　　This　instrument

of　my　preservation　would　have　been　plunged　into　his　heart。



O　insupportable　remembrance！　hide　thee　from　my　view　for　a　time；

hide　it　from　me　that　my　heart　was　black　enough　to　meditate　the

stabbing　of　a　brother！　a　brother　thus　supreme　in　misery；　thus

towering　in　virtue！



He　was　probably　unconscious　of　my　design；　but　presently　drew　back。

This　interval　was　sufficient　to　restore　me　to　myself。　　The　madness；

the　iniquity；　of　that　act　which　I　had　purposed　rushed　upon　my

apprehension。　　For　a　moment　I　was　breathless　with　agony。　　At　the

next　moment　I　recovered　my　strength；　and　threw　the　knife　with

violence　on　the　floor。



The　sound　awoke　my　brother　from　his　reverie。　　He　gazed　alternately

at　me　and　at　the　weapon。　　With　a　movement　equally　solemn　he　stooped

and　took　it　up。　　He　placed　the　blade　in　different　positions；

scrutinizing　it　accurately；　and　maintaining；　at　the　same　time；　a

profound　silence。



Again　he　looked　at　me；　but　all　that　vehemence　and　loftiness　of

spirit　which　had　so　lately　characterized　his　features　were　flown。

Fallen　muscles；　a　forehead　contracted　into　folds；　eyes　dim　with

unbidden　drops；　and　a　ruefulness　of　aspect　which　no　words　can

describe；　were　now　visible。



His　looks　touched　into　energy　the　same　sympathies　in　me；　and　I

poured　forth　a　flood　of　tears。　　This　passion　was　quickly　checked　by

fear；　which　had　now　no　longer　my　own　but　his　safety　for　their

object。　　I　watched　his　deportment　in　silence。　　At　length　he　spoke：



〃Sister；〃　said　he；　in　an　accent　mournful　and　mild；　〃I　have　acted

poorly　my　part　in　this　world。　　What　thinkest　thou？　　Shall　I　not　do

better　in　the　next？〃



I　could　make　no　answer。　　The　mildness　of　his　tone　astonished　and

encouraged　me。　　I　continued　to　regard　him　with　wistful　and　anxious

looks。



〃I　think；〃　resumed　he；　〃I　will　try。　　My　wife　and　my　babes　have　gone

before。　　Happy　wretches！　　I　have　sent　you　to　repose；　and　ought　not

to　linger　behind。〃



These　words　had　a　meaning　sufficiently　intelligible。　　I　looked　at

the　open　knife　in　his　hand　and　shuddered；　but　knew　not　how　to

prevent　the　deed　which　I　dreaded。　　He　quickly　noticed　my　fears；　and

comprehended　them。　　Stretching　toward　me　his　hand；　with　an　air　of

increasing　mildness；　〃Take　it；〃　said　he；　〃fear　not　for　thy　own

sake；　nor　for　mine。　　The　cup　is　gone　by；　and　its　transient

inebriation　is　succeeded　by　the　soberness　of　truth。



〃Thou　angel　whom　I　was　wont　to　worship！　fearest　thou；　my　sister；

for　thy　life？　　Once　it　was　the　scope　of　my　labors　to　destroy　thee；

but　I　was　prompted　to　the　deed　by　heaven；　such；　at　least；　was　my

belief。　　Thinkest　thou　that　thy　death　was　sought　to　gratify

malevolence？　　No。　　I　am　pure　from　all　stain。　　I　believed　that　my

God　was　my　mover！



〃Neither　thee　nor　myself　have　I　cause　to　injure。　　I　have　done　my

duty；　and　surely　there　is　merit　in　having　sacrificed　to　that　all

that　is　dear　to　the　heart　of　man。　　If　a　devil　has　deceived　me；　he

came　in　the　habit　of　an　angel。　　If　I　erred；　it　was　not　my　judgment

that　deceived　me；　but　my　senses。　　In　thy　sight；　Being　of　beings！　I

am　still　pure。　　Still　will　I　look　for　my　reward　in　thy　justice！〃



Did　my　ears　truly　report　these　sounds？　　If　I　did　not　err；　my

brother　was　restored　to　just　perceptions。　　He　knew　himself　to　have

been　betrayed　to　the　murder　of　his　wife　and　children；　to　have　been

the　victim　of　infernal　artifice；　yet　he　found　consolation　in　the

rectitude　of　his　motives。　　He　was　not　devoid　of　sorrow；　for　this

was　written　on　his　countenance；　but　his　soul　was　tranquil　and

sublime。



Perhaps　this　was　merely　a　transition　of　his　former　madness　into　a

new　shape。　　Perhaps　he　had　not　yet　awakened　to　the　memory　of　the

horrors　which　he　had　perpetrated。　　Infatuated　wretch　that　I　was！

To　set　myself　up　as　a　model　by　which　to　judge　of　my　heroic　brother！

My　reason　taught　me　that　his　conclusions　were　right；　but；　conscious

of　the　impotence　of　reason　over　my　own　conduct；　conscious　of　my

cowardly　rashness　and