the american claimant-第5节

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gossiping　comfortably　along：

〃Oh；　they　like　to　hear　him　talk；　especially　if　their　load　is　getting
rather　heavy　on　one　shoulder　and　they　want　to　shift　it。　　He's　all　air；
you　know；breeze；　you　may　sayand　he　freshens　them　up；　it's　a　trip　to
the　country；　they　say。　　Many　a　time　he's　made　General　Grant　laughand
that's　a　tidy　job；　I　can　tell　you；　and　as　for　Sheridan；　his　eye　lights　up
and　he　listens　to　Mulberry　Sellers　the　same　as　if　he　was　artillery。
You　see；　the　charm　about　Mulberry　is；　he　is　so　catholic　and　unprejudiced
that　he　fits　in　anywhere　and　everywhere。　　It　makes　him　powerful　good
company；　and　as　popular　as　scandal。　　You　go　to　the　White　House　when　the
President's　holding　a　general　receptionsometime　when　Mulberry's　there。
Why；　dear　me；　you　can't　tell　which　of　them　it　is　that's　holding　that
reception。〃

〃Well；　he　certainly　is　a　remarkable　manand　he　always　was。　　Is　he
religious？〃

〃Clear　to　his　marrowdoes　more　thinking　and　reading　on　that　subject　than
any　other　except　Russia　and　Siberia：　thrashes　around　over　the　whole
field；　too；　nothing　bigoted　about　him。〃

〃What　is　his　religion？〃

〃He〃　She　stopped；　and　was　lost　for　a　moment　or　two　in　thinking；　then
she　said；　with　simplicity；　〃I　think　he　was　a　Mohammedan　or　something　last
week。〃

Washington　started　down　town；　now；　to　bring　his　trunk；　for　the　hospitable
Sellerses　would　listen　to　no　excuses；　their　house　must　be　his　home　during
the　session。　　The　Colonel　returned　presently　and　resumed　work　upon　his
plaything。　　It　was　finished　when　Washington　got　back。

〃There　it　is；〃　said　the　Colonel；　〃all　finished。〃

〃What　is　it　for；　Colonel？〃

〃Oh；　it's　just　a　trifle。　　Toy　to　amuse　the　children。〃

Washington　examined　it。

〃It　seems　to　be　a　puzzle。〃

〃Yes；　that's　what　it　is。　　I　call　it　Pigs　in　the　Clover。　　Put　them　insee
if　you　can　put　them　in　the　pen。〃

After　many　failures　Washington　succeeded；　and　was　as　pleased　as　a　child。

〃It's　wonderfully　ingenious；　Colonel；　it's　ever　so　clever　and
interestingwhy；　I　could　play　with　it　all　day。　　What　are　you　going　to　do
with　it？〃

〃Oh；　nothing。　　Patent　it　and　throw　it　aside。〃

〃Don't　you　do　anything　of　the　kind。　　There's　money　in　that　thing。〃

A　compassionate　look　traveled　over　the　Colonel's　countenance；　and　he
said：

〃Moneyyes；　pin　money：　a　couple　of　hundred　thousand；　perhaps。　　Not
more。〃

Washington's　eyes　blazed。

〃A　couple　of　hundred　thousand　dollars！　　do　you　call　that　pin　money？〃

The　colonel　rose　and　tip…toed　his　way　across　the　room；　closed　a　door　that
was　slightly　ajar；　tip…toed　his　way　to　his　seat　again；　and　said；　under
his　breath：

〃You　can　keep　a　secret？〃

Washington　nodded　his　affirmative；　he　was　too　awed　to　speak。

〃You　have　heard　of　materialization…materialization　of　departed　spirits？〃

Washington　had　heard　of　it。

〃And　probably　didn't　believe　in　it；　and　quite　right；　too。　　The　thing　as
practised　by　ignorant　charlatans　is　unworthy　of　attention　or　respect…
where　there's　a　dim　light　and　a　dark　cabinet；　and　a　parcel　of　sentimental
gulls　gathered　together；　with　their　faith　and　their　shudders　and　their
tears　all　ready；　and　one　and　the　same　fatty　degeneration　of　protoplasm
and　humbug　comes　out　and　materializes　himself　into　anybody　you　want；
grandmother；　grandchild；　brother…in…law；　Witch　of　Endor；　John　Milton；
Siamese　twins；　Peter　the　Great；　and　all　such　frantic　nonsenseno；　that
is　all　foolish　and　pitiful。　　But　when　a　man　that　is　competent　brings　the
vast　powers　of　science　to　bear；　it's　a　different　matter；　a　totally
different　matter；　you　see。　　The　spectre　that　answers　that　call　has　come
to　stay。　　Do　you　note　the　commercial　value　of　that　detail？〃

〃Well；　Ithethe　truth　is；　that　I　don't　quite　know　that　I　do。　　Do　you
mean　that　such；　being　permanent；　not　transitory；　would　give　more　general
satisfaction；　and　so　enhance　the　priceof　tickets　to　the　show〃

〃Show？　　Follylisten　to　me；　and　get　a　good　grip　on　your　breath；　for　you
are　going　to　need　it。　　Within　three　days　I　shall　have　completed　my
method；　and　thenlet　the　world　stand　aghast；　for　it　shall　see　marvels。
Washington；　within　three　daysten　at　the　outsideyou　shall　see　me　call
the　dead　of　any　century；　and　they　will　arise　and　walk。　　Walk？they　shall
walk　forever；　and　never　die　again。　　Walk　with　all　the　muscle　and　spring
of　their　pristine　vigor。〃

〃Colonel！　　Indeed　it　does　take　one's　breath　away。〃

〃Now　do　you　see　the　money　that's　in　it？〃

〃I'mwell；　I'mnot　really　sure　that　I　do。〃

Great　Scott；　look　here。　　I　shall　have　a　monopoly；　they'll　all　belong　to
me；　won't　they？　　Two　thousand　policemen　in　the　city　of　New　York。　　Wages；
four　dollars　a　day。　　I'll　replace　them　with　dead　ones　at　half　the　money。

〃Oh；　prodigious！　　I　never　thought　of　that。　　F…o…u…r　thousand　dollars　a
day。　　Now　I　do　begin　to　see！　　But　will　dead　policemen　answer？〃

〃Haven't　theyup　to　this　time？〃

〃Well；　if　you　put　it　that　way〃

〃Put　it　any　way　you　want　to。　　Modify　it　to　suit　yourself；　and　my　lads
shall　still　be　superior。　　They　won't　eat；　they　won't　drinkdon't　need
those　things；　they　won't　wink　for　cash　at　gambling　dens　and　unlicensed
rum…holes；　they　won't　spark　the　scullery　maids；　and　moreover　the　bands　of
toughs　that　ambuscade　them　on　lonely　beats；　and　cowardly　shoot　and　knife
them　will　only　damage　the　uniforms　and　not　live　long　enough　to　get　more
than　a　momentary　satisfaction　out　of　that。〃

〃Why；　Colonel；　if　you　can　furnish　policemen；　then　of　course〃

〃CertainlyI　can　furnish　any　line　of　goods　that's　wanted。　　Take　the
army；　for　instancenow　twenty…five　thousand　men；　expense；　twenty…two
millions　a　year。　　I　will　dig　up　the　Romans；　I　will　resurrect　the　Greeks；
I　will　furnish　the　government；　for　ten　millions　a　year；　ten　thousand
veterans　drawn　from　the　victorious　legions　of　all　the　agessoldiers　that
will　chase　Indians　year　in　and　year　out　on　materialized　horses；　and　cost
never　a　cent　for　rations　or　repairs。　　The　armies　of　Europe　cost　two
billions　a　year　nowI　will　replace　them　all　for　a　billion。　　I　will　dig
up　the　trained　statesmen　of　all　ages　and　all　climes；　and　furnish　this
country　with　a　Congress　that　knows　enough　to　come　in　out　of　the　rain
a　thing　that's　never　happened　yet；　since　the　Declaration　of　Independence；
and　never　will　happen　till　these　practically　dead　people　are　replaced
with　the　genuine　article。　　I　will　restock　the　thrones　of　Europe　with　the
best　brains　and　the　best　morals　that　all　the　royal　sepulchres　of　all　the
centuries　can　furnishwhich　isn't　promising　very　muchand　I'll　divide
the　wages　and　the　civil　list；　fair　and　square；　merely　taking　my　half
and〃

〃Colonel；　if　the　half　of　this　is　true；　there's　millions　in　itmillions。〃

〃Billions　in　itbillions；　that's　what　you　mean。　　Why；　look　here；　the
thing　is　so　close　at　hand；　so　imminent；　so　absolutely　immediate；　that　if
a　man　were　to　come　to　me　now　and　say；　Colonel；　I　am　a　little　short；　and
if　you　could　lend　me　a　couple　of　billion　dollars　for　come　in！〃

This　in　answer　to　a　knock。　　An　energetic　looking　man　bustled　in　with　a
big　pocket…book　in　his　hand；　took　a　paper　from　it　and　presented　it；　with
the　curt　remark：

〃Seventeenth　and　last　callyou　want　to　out　with　that　three　dollars　and
forty　cents　this　time　without　fail；　Colonel　Mulberry　Sellers。〃

The　Colonel　began　to　slap　this　pocket　and　that　one；　and　feel　here　and
there　and　everywhere；　muttering：

〃What　have　I　done　with　that　wallet？let　me　seeumnot　here；　not　there
Oh；　I　must　have　left　it　in　the　kitchen；　I'll　just　run　and〃

〃No　you　won'tyou'll　stay　right　where　you　are。　　And　you're　going　to
disgorge；　toothis　time。〃

Washington　innocently　offered　to　go　and　look。　　When　he　was　gone　the
Colonel　said：

〃The　fact　is；　I've　got　to　throw　myself　on　your　indulgence　just　this　once
more；　Suggs；　you　see　the　remittances　I　was　expecting〃

〃Hang　the　remittancesit's　too　staleit　won't　answer。　　Come！〃

The　Colonel　glanced　about　him　in　despair。　　Then　his　face　lighted；　he　ran
to　the　wall　and　began　to　dust　off　a　peculiarly　atrocious　chromo　with　his
handkerchief。　　Then　he　brought　it　reverently；　offered　it　to　the
collector；　averted　his　face　and　said：

〃Take　it；　but　don't　let　me　see　it　go。　　It's　the　sole　remaining　Rembrandt
that〃

〃Rembrandt　be　damned；　it's　a　chromo。〃

〃Oh；　don't　speak　of　it　so；　I　beg　you。　　It's　the　only　really　great
original；　the　only　supreme　example　of　that　mighty　school　of　art　which〃

〃Art！　　It's　the　sickest　looking　thing　I〃

The　colonel　was　already　bringing　another　horror　and　tenderly　dusting　it。

〃Take　this　one　toothe　gem　of　my　collectionthe　only　genuine　Fra
Angelico　that〃

〃Illuminated　liverpad；　that's　what　it　is。　　Give　it　heregood　day
people　will　think　I've　robbed　a'　nigger　barber…shop。〃

As　he　slammed　the　door　behind　him　the　Colonel　shouted　with　an　anguished
accent

Do　please　cover　them　updon't　let　the　damp　get　at　them。　　The　delicate
tints　in　the　Angelico〃

But　the　man　was　gone。

Washington　re…appeared　and　said　he　had　looked　everywhere；　and　so　had　Mrs。
Sellers　and　the　servants；　but　in　vain；　and　went　on　to　say　he　wished　he
could　get　his　eye　on　a　certain　man　about　this　timeno　need　to　hunt　up
that　pocket…book　then。　　The　Colonel's　interest　was　awake　at　once。

〃What　man？〃

〃One…armed　Pete　they　call　him　out　thereout　in　the　Cherokee　country　I
mean。　　Robbed　th