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nobility a tinsel sham; all aristocratic institutions a fraud; all
inequalities in rank a legalized crime and an infamy; and no bread honest
bread that a man doesn't earn by his own workwork; pah!〃and the old
patrician brushed imaginary labor…dirt from his white hands。  〃You have
come to hold just those opinions yourself; suppose;〃he added with a
sneer。

A faint flush in the younger man's cheek told that the shot had hit and
hurt; but he answered with dignity:

〃I have。  I say it without shameI feel none。  And now my reason for
resolving to renounce my heirship without resistance is explained。
I wish to retire from what to me is a false existence; a false position;
and begin my life over againbegin it rightbegin it on the level of
mere manhood; unassisted by factitious aids; and succeed or fail by pure
merit or the want of it。  I will go to America;; where all men are equal
and all have an equal chance; I will live or die; sink or swim; win or
lose as just a manthat alone; and not a single helping gaud or fiction
back of it。〃

〃Hear; hear!〃  The two men looked each other steadily in the eye a moment
or two; then the elder one added; musingly; 〃Ab…so…lutely
cra…zy…ab…solutely!  〃After another silence; he said; as one who; long
troubled by clouds; detects a ray of sunshine;〃 Well; there will be one
satisfactionSimon Lathets will come here to enter into his own; and I
will drown him in the horsepond。  That poor devilalways so humble in
his letters; so pitiful; so deferential; so steeped in reverence for our
great line and lofty…station; so anxious to placate us; so prayerful for
recognition as a relative; a bearer in his veins of our sacred blood
and withal so poor; so needy; so threadbare and pauper…shod as to
raiment; so despised; so laughed at for his silly claimantship by the
lewd American scum around himah; the vulgar; crawling; insufferable
tramp!  To read one of his cringing; nauseating letterswell?〃

This to a splendid flunkey; all in inflamed plush and buttons and
knee…breeches as to his trunk; and a glinting white frost…work of
ground…glass paste as to his head; who stood with his heels together and
the upper half of him bent forward; a salver in his hands:

〃The letters; my lord。〃

My lord took them; and the servant disappeared。

〃Among the rest; an American letter。  From the tramp; of course。  Jove;
but here's a change!  No brown paper envelope this time; filched from a
shop; and carrying the shop's advertisement in the corner。  Oh; no; a
proper enough envelopewith a most ostentatiously broad mourning
borderfor his cat; perhaps; since he was a bachelorand fastened with
red waxa batch of it as big as a half…crownandandour crest for a
seal!motto and all。  And the ignorant; sprawling hand is gone; he
sports a secretary; evidentlya secretary with a most confident swing
and flourish to his pen。  Oh indeed; our fortunes are improving over
thereour meek tramp has undergone a metamorphosis。〃

〃Read it; my lord; please。〃

〃Yes; this time I will。  For the sake of the cat:

                                        14;042 SIXTEENTH。  STREET;
                                        WASHINGTON; May 2。

It is my painful duty to announce to you that the head of our illustrious
house is no moreThe Right Honourable; The Most Noble; The Most Puissant
Simon Lathers Lord Rossmore having departed this life (〃Gone at last
this is unspeakably precious news; my son;〃) at his seat in the environs
of the hamlet of Duffy's Corners in the grand old State of Arkansas;and
his twin brother with him; both being crushed by a log at a
smoke…house…raising; owing to carelessness on the part of all present;
referable to over…confidence and gaiety induced by overplus of
sour…mash(〃Extolled be sour…mash; whatever that may be; eh Berkeley?〃)
five days ago; with no scion of our ancient race present to close his
eyes and inter him with the honors due his historic name and lofty
rank…in fact; he is on the ice yet; him and his brotherfriends took a
collection for it。  But I shall take immediate occasion to have their
noble remains shipped to you (〃Great heavens!〃) for interment; with due
ceremonies and solemnities; in the family vault or mausoleum of our
house。  Meantime I shall put up a pair of hatchments on my house…front;
and you will of course do the same at your several seats。

I have also to remind you that by this sad disaster I as sole heir;
inherit and become seized of all the titles; honors; lands; and goods of
our lamented relative; and must of necessity; painful as the duty is;
shortly require at the bar of the Lords restitution of these dignities
and properties; now illegally enjoyed by your titular lordship。

With assurance of my distinguished consideration and warm cousinly
regard; I remain
                         Your titular lordship's

                                   Most obedient servant;
                              Mulberry Sellers Earl Rossmore。

〃Im…mense!  Come; this one's interesting。  Why; Berkeley; his breezy
impudence isiswhy; it's colossal; it's sublime。〃

〃No; this one doesn't seem to cringe much。〃

〃Cringewhy; he doesn't know the meaning of the word。  Hatchments!  To
commemorate that sniveling tramp and his; fraternal duplicate。  And he is
going to send me the remains。  The late Claimant was a fool; but plainly
this new one's a maniac。  What a name!  Mulberry Sellersthere's music
for you; Simon LathersMulberry SellersMulberry SellersSimon
Lathers。  Sounds like machinery working and churning。  Simon Lathers;
Mulberry Sel  Are you going?〃

〃If I have your leave; father。〃         …

The old gentleman stood musing some time; after his son was gone。  This
was his thought:

〃He is a good boy; and lovable。  Let him take his own courseas it would
profit nothing to oppose himmake things worse; in fact。  My arguments
and his aunt's persuasions have failed; let us see what America can do
for us。  Let us see what equality and hard…times can effect for the
mental health of a brain…sick young British lord。  Going to renounce his
lordship and be a man!  Yas!〃




CHAPTER II。

COLONEL MULBERRY SELLERSthis was some days before he wrote his letter
to Lord Rossmorewas seated in his 〃library;〃 which was also his
〃drawing…room〃 and was also his 〃picture gallery〃 and likewise his
〃work…shop。〃  Sometimes he called it by one of these names; sometimes by
another; according to occasion and circumstance。  He was constructing
what seemed to be some kind of a frail mechanical toy; and was apparently
very much interested in his work。  He was a white…headed man; now; but
otherwise he was as young; alert; buoyant; visionary and enterprising as
ever。  His loving old wife sat near by; contentedly knitting and
thinking; with a cat asleep in her lap。  The room was large; light; and
had a comfortable look; in fact a home…like look; though the furniture
was of a humble sort and not over abundant; and the knickknacks and
things that go to adorn a living…room not plenty and not costly。  But
there were natural flowers; and there was an abstract and unclassifiable
something about the place which betrayed the presence in the house of
somebody with a happy taste and an effective touch。

Even the deadly chromos on the walls were somehow without offence;
in fact they seemed to belong there and to add an attraction to the room…
…a fascination; anyway; for whoever got his eye on one of them was like
to gaze and suffer till he diedyou have seen that kind of pictures。
Some of these terrors were landscapes; some libeled the sea; some were
ostensible portraits; all were crimes。  All the portraits were
recognizable as dead Americans of distinction; and yet; through labeling
added; by a daring hand; they were all doing duty here as 〃Earls of
Rossmore。〃  The newest one had left the works as Andrew Jackson; but was
doing its best now; as 〃Simon Lathers Lord Rossmore; Present Earl。〃
On one wall was a cheap old railroad map of Warwickshire。  This had been
newly labeled 〃The Rossmore Estates。〃  On the opposite; wall was another
map; and this was the most imposing decoration of the establishment and
the first to catch a stranger's attention; because of its great size。
It had once borne simply the title SIBERIA; but now the word 〃FUTURE〃 had
been written in front of that word。  There were other additions; in red
inkmany cities; with great populations set down; scattered over the
vast…country at points where neither cities nor populations exist to…day。
One of these cities; with population placed at 1;500;000; bore the name
〃Libertyorloffskoizalinski;〃 and there was a still more populous one;
centrally located and marked 〃Capital;〃 which bore the name
〃Freedomolovnaivanovich。〃

The 〃mansion〃the Colonel's usual name for the housewas a rickety old
two…story frame of considerable size; which had been painted; some time
or other; but had nearly forgotten it。  It was away out in the ragged
edge of Washington and had once been somebody's country place。  It had a
neglected yard around it; with a paling fence that needed straightening
up; in places; and a gate that would stay shut。  By the door…post were
several modest tin signs。  〃Col。 Mulberr

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