adventure(冒险)-第41节
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her instead of going on with his coolly planned campaign。 As it was； he
nearly told her that she was a most adorable boy。 But he checked all such
wayward fancies； and held himself rigidly down to his disquisition。
〃You can't help being yourself。 You can't help being a very desirable
creature so far as I am concerned。 You have made me want you。 You
didn't intend to； you didn't try to。 You were so made； that is all。 And I
was so made that I was ripe to want you。 But I can't help being myself。
I can't by an effort of will cease from wanting you； any more than you by
an effort of will can make yourself undesirable to me。〃
〃Oh； this desire！ this want！ want！ want！〃 she broke in rebelliously。 〃I
am not quite a fool。 I understand some things。 And the whole thing is so
foolish and absurdand uncomfortable。 I wish I could get away from it。
I really think it would be a good idea for me to marry Noa Noah； or
Adamu Adam； or Lalaperu there； or any black boy。 Then I could give
him orders； and keep him penned away from me； and men like you would
leave me alone； and not talk marriage and 'I want； I want。'〃
Sheldon laughed in spite of himself； and far from any genuine impulse
to laugh。
〃You are positively soulless；〃 he said savagely。
〃Because I've a soul that doesn't yearn for a man for master？〃 she took
up the gage。 〃Very well； then。 I am soulless； and what are you going to
do about it？〃
〃I am going to ask you why you look like a woman？ Why have you
the form of a woman？ the lips of a woman？ the wonderful hair of a
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woman？ And I am going to answer： because you are a womanthough
the woman in you is asleepand that some day the woman will wake up。〃
〃Heaven forbid！〃 she cried； in such sudden and genuine dismay as to
make him laugh； and to bring a smile to her own lips against herself。
〃I've got some more to say to you；〃 Sheldon pursued。 〃I did try to
protect you from every other man in the Solomons； and from yourself as
well。 As for me； I didn't dream that danger lay in that quarter。 So I
failed to protect you from myself。 I failed to protect you at all。 You
went your own wilful way； just as though I didn't existwrecking
schooners； recruiting on Malaita； and sailing schooners； one lone；
unprotected girl in the company of some of the worst scoundrels in the
Solomons。 Fowler！ and Brahms！ and Curtis！ And such is the
perverseness of human natureI am frank； you seeI love you for that too。
I love you for all of you； just as you are。〃
She made a moue of distaste and raised a hand protestingly。
〃Don't；〃 he said。 〃You have no right to recoil from the mention of my
love for you。 Remember this is a man…talk。 From the point of view of
the talk； you are a man。 The woman in you is only incidental； accidental；
and irrelevant。 You've got to listen to the bald statement of fact； strange
though it is； that I love you。〃
〃And now I won't bother you any more about love。 We'll go on the
same as before。 You are better off and safer on Berande； in spite of the
fact that I love you； than anywhere else in the Solomons。 But I want you；
as a final item of man…talk； to remember； from time to time； that I love you；
and that it will be the dearest day of my life when you consent to marry
me。 I want you to think of it sometimes。 You can't help but think of it
sometimes。 And now we won't talk about it any more。 As between men；
there's my hand。〃
He held out his hand。 She hesitated； then gripped it heartily； and
smiled through her tears。
〃I wish〃 she faltered； 〃I wish； instead of that black Mary； you'd given
me somebody to swear for me。〃
And with this enigmatic utterance she turned away。
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CHAPTER XXICONTRABAND
Sheldon did not mention the subject again； nor did his conduct change
from what it had always been。 There was nothing of the pining lover； nor
of the lover at all； in his demeanour。 Nor was there any awkwardness
between them。 They were as frank and friendly in their relations as ever。
He had wondered if his belligerent love declaration might have aroused
some womanly self… consciousness in Joan； but he looked in vain for any
sign of it。 She appeared as unchanged as he； and while he knew that he hid
his real feelings； he was firm in his belief that she hid nothing。 And yet
the germ he had implanted must be at work； he was confident of that；
though he was without confidence as to the result。 There was no
forecasting this strange girl's processes。 She might awaken； it was true；
and on the other hand； and with equal chance； he might be the wrong man
for her； and his declaration of love might only more firmly set her in her
views on single blessedness。
While he devoted more and more of his time to the plantation itself；
she took over the house and its multitudinous affairs； and she took hold
firmly； in sailor fashion； revolutionizing the system and discipline。 The
labour situation on Berande was improving。 The Martha had carried away
fifty of the blacks whose time was up； and they had been among the worst
on the plantationfive…year men recruited by Billy Be…blowed； men who
had gone through the old days of terrorism when the original owners of
Berande had been driven away。 The new recruits； being broken in under
the new regime； gave better promise。 Joan had joined with Sheldon from
the start in the programme that they must be gripped with the strong hand；
and at the same time be treated with absolute justice； if they were to
escape being contaminated by the older boys that still remained。
〃I think it would be a good idea to put all the gangs at work close to
the house this afternoon；〃 she announced one day at breakfast。 〃I've
cleaned up the house； and you ought to clean up the barracks。 There is too
much stealing going on。〃
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〃A good idea；〃 Sheldon agreed。 〃Their boxes should be searched。
I've just missed a couple of shirts； and my best toothbrush is gone。〃
〃And two boxes of my cartridges；〃 she added； 〃to say nothing of
handkerchiefs； towels； sheets； and my best pair of slippers。 But what
they want with your toothbrush is more than I can imagine。 They'll be
stealing the billiard balls next。〃
〃One did disappear a few weeks before you came；〃 Sheldon laughed。
〃We'll search the boxes this afternoon。〃
And a busy afternoon it was。 Joan and Sheldon； both armed； went
through the barracks； house by house； the boss…boys assisting； and half a
dozen messengers； in relay； shouting along the line the names of the boys
wanted。 Each boy brought the key to his particular box； and was
permitted to look on while the contents were overhauled by the boss…boys。
A wealth of loot was recovered。 There were fully a dozen cane…
knivesbig hacking weapons with razor…edges； capable of decapitating a
man at a stroke。 Towels； sheets； shirts； and slippers； along with
toothbrushes； wisp…brooms； soap； the missing billiard ball； and all the lost
and forgotten trifles of many months； came to light。 But most
astonishing was the quantity of ammunition…cartridges for Lee…Metfords；
for Winchesters and Marlins； for revolvers from thirty…two calibre to forty…
five； shot… gun cartridges； Joan's two boxes of thirty…eight； cartridges of
prodigious bore for the ancient Sniders of Malaita； flasks of black powder；
sticks of dynamite； yards of fuse； and boxes of detonators。 But the great
find was in the house occupied by Gogoomy and five Port Adams recruits。
The fact that the boxes yielded nothing excited Sheldon's suspicions； and
he gave orders to dig up
