before adam(亚当之前)-第3节
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quickly the light burst upon me with dazzling brightness； illuminating and
explaining all that had been weird and uncanny and unnaturally impossible
in my dream experiences。 In my sleep it was not my wake…a…day
personality that took charge of me； it was another and distinct personality；
possessing a new and totally different fund of experiences； and； to the
point of my dreaming； possessing memories of those totally different
experiences。
What was this personality？ When had it itself lived a wake…a…day life
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on this planet in order to collect this fund of strange experiences？ These
were questions that my dreams themselves answered。 He lived in the
long ago； when the world was young； in that period that we call the Mid…
Pleistocene。 He fell from the trees but did not strike bottom。 He
gibbered with fear at the roaring of the lions。 He was pursued by beasts
of prey； struck at by deadly snakes。 He chattered with his kind in council；
and he received rough usage at the hands of the Fire People in the day that
he fled before them。
But； I hear you objecting； why is it that these racial memories are not
ours as well； seeing that we have a vague other…personality that falls
through space while we sleep？
And I may answer with another question。 Why is a two…headed calf？
And my own answer to this is that it is a freak。 And so I answer your
question。 I have this other…personality and these complete racial
memories because I am a freak。
But let me be more explicit。
The commonest race memory we have is the falling…through…space
dream。 This other…personality is very vague。 About the only memory it
has is that of falling。 But many of us have sharper； more distinct other…
personalities。 Many of us have the flying dream； the pursuing…monster
dream； color dreams； suffocation dreams； and the reptile and vermin
dreams。 In short； while this other…personality is vestigial in all of us； in
some of us it is almost obliterated； while in others of us it is more
pronounced。 Some of us have stronger and completer race memories than
others。
It is all a question of varying degree of possession of the other…
personality。 In myself； the degree of possession is enormous。 My
other…personality is almost equal in power with my own personality。 And
in this matter I am； as I said； a freaka freak of heredity。
I do believe that it is the possession of this other…personalitybut not
so strong a one as minethat has in some few others given rise to belief in
personal reincarnation experiences。 It is very plausible to such people； a
most convincing hypothesis。 When they have visions of scenes they have
never seen in the flesh； memories of acts and events dating back in time；
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the simplest explanation is that they have lived before。
But they make the mistake of ignoring their own duality。 They do not
recognize their other…personality。 They think it is their own personality；
that they have only one personality； and from such a premise they can
conclude only that they have lived previous lives。
But they are wrong。 It is not reincarnation。 I have visions of myself
roaming through the forests of the Younger World； and yet it is not myself
that I see but one that is only remotely a part of me； as my father and my
grandfather are parts of me less remote。 This other…self of mine is an
ancestor； a progenitor of my progenitors in the early line of my race；
himself the progeny of a line that long before his time developed fingers
and toes and climbed up into the trees。
I must again； at the risk of boring； repeat that I am； in this one thing； to
be considered a freak。 Not alone do I possess racial memory to an
enormous extent； but I possess the memories of one particular and far…
removed progenitor。 And yet； while this is most unusual； there is nothing
over…remarkable about it。
Follow my reasoning。 An instinct is a racial memory。 Very good。
Then you and I and all of us receive these memories from our fathers and
mothers； as they received them from their fathers and mothers。
Therefore there must be a medium whereby these memories are
transmitted from generation to generation。 This medium is what
Weismann terms the 〃germplasm。〃 It carries the memories of the whole
evolution of the race。 These memories are dim and confused； and many
of them are lost。 But some strains of germplasm carry an excessive
freightage of memoriesare； to be scientific； more atavistic than other
strains； and such a strain is mine。 I am a freak of heredity； an atavistic
nightmarecall me what you will； but here I am； real and alive； eating
three hearty meals a day； and what are you going to do about it？
And now； before I take up my tale； I want to anticipate the doubting
Thomases of psychology； who are prone to scoff； and who would
otherwise surely say that the coherence of my dreams is due to overstudy
and the subconscious projection of my knowledge of evolution into my
dreams。 In the first place； I have never been a zealous student。 I
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graduated last of my class。 I cared more for athletics； andthere is no
reason I should not confess itmore for billiards。
Further； I had no knowledge of evolution until I was at college；
whereas in my childhood and youth I had already lived in my dreams all
the details of that other； long…ago life。 I will say； however； that these
details were mixed and incoherent until I came to know the science of
evolution。 Evolution was the key。 It gave the explanation； gave sanity
to the pranks of this atavistic brain of mine that； modern and normal；
harked back to a past so remote as to be contemporaneous with the raw
beginnings of mankind。
For in this past I know of； man； as we to…day know him； did not exist。
It was in the period of his becoming that I must have lived and had my
being。
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CHAPTER III
The commonest dream of my early childhood was something like this：
It seemed that I was very small and that I lay curled up in a sort of nest of
twigs and boughs。 Sometimes I was lying on my back。 In this position it
seemed that I spent many hours； watching the play of sunlight on the
foliage and the stirring of the leaves by the wind。 Often the nest itself
moved back and forth when the wind was strong。
But always； while so lying in the nest； I was mastered as of
tremendous space beneath me。 I never saw it； I never peered over the
edge of the nest to see； but I KNEW and feared that space that lurked just
beneath me and that ever threatened me like a maw of some all…devouring
monster。
This dream； in which I was quiescent and which was more like a
condition than an experience of action； I dreamed very often in my early
childhood。 But suddenly； there would rush into the very midst of it
strange forms and ferocious happenings； the thunder and crashing of storm；
or unfamiliar landscapes such as in my wake…a…day life I had never seen。
The result was confusion and nightmare。 I could comprehend nothing of
it。 There was no logic of sequence。
You see； I did not dream consecutively。 One moment I was a wee
babe of the Younger World lying in my tree nes
