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                     FAIRY TALES OF HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN

                                THE SHIRT…COLLAR

                           by Hans Christian Andersen



    THERE was once a fine gentleman who possessed among other things a

boot…jack and a hair…brush; but he had also the finest shirt…collar in

the world; and of this collar we are about to hear a story。 The collar

had become so old that he began to think about getting married; and

one day he happened to find himself in the same washing…tub as a

garter。 〃Upon my word;〃 said the shirt…collar; 〃I have never seen

anything so slim and delicate; so neat and soft before。 May I

venture to ask your name?〃

    〃I shall not tell you;〃 replied the garter。

    〃Where do you reside when you are at home?〃 asked the

shirt…collar。 But the garter was naturally shy; and did not know how

to answer such a question。

    〃I presume you are a girdle;〃 said the shirt…collar; 〃a sort of

under girdle。 I see that you are useful; as well as ornamental; my

little lady。〃

    〃You must not speak to me;〃 said the garter; 〃I do not think I

have given you any encouragement to do so。〃

    〃Oh; when any one is as beautiful as you are;〃 said the

shirt…collar; 〃is not that encouragement enough?〃

    〃Get away; don't come so near me;〃 said the garter; 〃you appear to

me quite like a man。〃

    〃I am a fine gentleman certainly;〃 said the shirt…collar; 〃I

possess a boot…jack and a hair…brush。〃 This was not true; for these

things belonged to his master; but he was a boaster。

    〃Don't come so near me;〃 said the garter; 〃I am not accustomed

to it。〃

    〃Affectation!〃 said the shirt…collar。

    Then they were taken out of the wash…tub; starched; and hung

over a chair in the sunshine; and then laid on the ironing…board。

And now came the glowing iron。 〃Mistress widow;〃 said the

shirt…collar; 〃little mistress widow; I feel quite warm。 I am

changing; I am losing all my creases。 You are burning a hole in me。

Ugh! I propose to you。〃

    〃You old rag;〃 said the flat…iron; driving proudly over the

collar; for she fancied herself a steam…engine; which rolls over the

railway and draws carriages。 〃You old rag!〃 said she。

    The edges of the shirt…collar were a little frayed; so the

scissors were brought to cut them smooth。 〃Oh!〃 exclaimed the

shirt…collar; 〃what a first…rate dancer you would make; you can

stretch out your leg so well。 I never saw anything so charming; I am

sure no human being could do the same。〃

    〃I should think not;〃 replied the scissors。

    〃You ought to be a countess;〃 said the shirt collar; 〃but all I

possess consists of a fine gentleman; a boot…jack; and a comb。 I

wish I had an estate for your sake。〃

    〃What! is he going to propose to me?〃 said the scissors; and she

became so angry that she cut too sharply into the shirt collar; and it

was obliged to be thrown by as useless。

    〃I shall be obliged to propose to the hair…brush;〃 thought the

shirt collar; so he remarked one day; 〃It is wonderful what

beautiful hair you have; my little lady。 Have you never thought of

being engaged?〃

    〃You might know I should think of it;〃 answered the hair brush; 〃I

am engaged to the boot…jack。〃

    〃Engaged!〃 cried the shirt collar; 〃now there is no one left to

propose to;〃 and then he pretended to despise all love…making。

    A long time passed; and the shirt collar was taken in a bag to the

paper…mill。 Here was a large company of rags; the fine ones lying by

themselves; separated from the coarser; as it ought to be。 They had

all many things to relate; especially the shirt collar; who was a

terrible boaster。 〃I have had an immense number of love affairs;〃 said

the shirt collar; 〃no one left me any peace。 It is true I was a very

fine gentleman; quite stuck up。 I had a boot…jack and a brush that I

never used。 You should have seen me then; when I was turned down。 I

shall never forget my first love; she was a girdle; so charming; and

fine; and soft; and she threw herself into a washing tub for my

sake。 There was a widow too; who was warmly in love with me; but I

left her alone; and she became quite black。 The next was a

first…rate dancer; she gave me the wound from which I still suffer;

she was so passionate。 Even my own hair…brush was in love with me; and

lost all her hair through neglected love。 Yes; I have had great

experience of this kind; but my greatest grief was for the garter… the

girdle I meant to say… that jumped into the wash…tub。 I have a great

deal on my conscience; and it is really time I should be turned into

white paper。〃

    And the shirt collar came to this at last。 All the rags were

made into white paper; and the shirt collar became the very

identical piece of paper which we now see; and on which this story

is printed。 It happened as a punishment to him; for having boasted

so shockingly of things which were not true。 And this is a warning

to us; to be careful how we act; for we may some day find ourselves in

the rag…bag; to be turned into white paper; on which our whole history

may be written; even its most secret actions。 And it would not be

pleasant to have to run about the world in the form of a piece of

paper; telling everything we have done; like the boasting shirt

collar。





                            THE END




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