the hungry stones and other stories-第14节

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etch　out　his　little　arms　to　be　taken　with　me。　　But　the　bathing　ghal　was　my　place　for　meeting　my　friends；　and　I　did　not　care　to　burden　myself　with　the　child。

〃It　was　an　early　morning　in　August。　　Fold　after　fold　of　grey　clouds　had　wrapped　the　mid…day　round　with　a　wet　clinging　robe。　　I　asked　the　maid　to　take　care　of　the　boy；　while　I　went　down　to　the　river。　　The　child　cried　after　me　as　I　went　away。

〃There　was　no　one　there　at　the　bathing　ghat　when　I　arrived。　　As　a　swimmer；　I　was　the　best　among　all　the　village　women。　　The　river　was　quite　full　with　the　rains。　　I　swam　out　into　the　middle　of　the　stream　some　distance　from　the　shore。

〃Then　I　heard　a　cry　from　the　bank；　'Mother！'　　I　turned　my　head　and　saw　my　boy　coming　down　the　steps；　calling　me　as　he　came。　　I　shouted　to　him　to　stop；　but　he　went　on；　laughing　and　calling。　　My　feet　and　hands　became　cramped　with　fear。　　I　shut　my　eyes；　afraid　to　see。　　When　I　opened　them；　there；　at　the　slippery　stairs；　my　boy's　ripple　of　laughter　had　disappeared　for　ever。

〃I　got　back　to　the　shore。　　I　raised　him　from　the　water。　　I　took　him　in　my　arms；　my　boy；　my　darling；　who　had　begged　so　often　in　vain　for　me　to　take　him。　　I　took　him　now；　but　he　no　more　looked　in　my　eyes　and　called　‘　Mother。'

〃My　child…God　had　come。　　I　had　ever　neglected　Him。　　I　had　ever　made　Him　cry。　　And　now　all　that　neglect　began　to　beat　against　my　own　heart；　blow　upon　blow；　blow　upon　blow。　　When　my　boy　was　with　me；　I　had　left　him　alone。　　I　had　refused　to　take　him　with　me。　　And　now；　when　he　is　dead；　his　memory　clings　to　me　and　never　leaves　me。

〃God　alone　knows　all　that　my　husband　suffered。　　If　he　had　only　punished　me　for　my　sin；　it　would　have　been　better　for　us　both。　　But　be　knew　only　how　to　endure　in　silence；　not　how　to　speak。

〃When　I　was　almost　mad　with　grief；　Guru　Thakur　came　back。　　In　earlier　days；　the　relation　between　him　and　my　husband　had　been　that　of　boyish　friendship。　　Now；　my　husband's　reverence　for　his　sanctity　and　learning　was　unbounded。　　He　could　hardly　speak　in　his　presence；　his　awe　of　him　was　so　great。

〃My　husband　asked　his　Guru　to　try　to　give　me　some　consolation。　　Guru　Thakur　began　to　read　and　explain　to　me　the　scriptures。　　But　I　do　not　think　they　had　much　effect　on　my　mind。　　All　their　value　for　me　lay　in　the　voice　that　uttered　them。　　God　makes　the　draught　of　divine　life　deepest　in　the　heart　for　man　to　drink；　through　the　human　voice。　　He　has　no　better　vessel　in　His　hand　than　that；　and　He　Himself　drinks　His　divine　draught　out　of　the　same　vessel。

〃My　husband's　love　and　veneration　for　his　Guru　filled　our　house；　as　incense　fills　a　temple　shrine。　　I　showed　that　veneration；　and　had　peace。　I　saw　my　God　in　the　form　of　that　Guru。　　He　used　to　come　to　take　his　meal　at　our　house　every　morning。　　The　first　thought　that　would　come　to　my　mind　on　waking　from　sleep　was　that　of　his　food　as　a　sacred　gift　from　God。　　When　I　prepared　the　things　for　his　meal；　my　fingers　would　sing　for　joy。

〃When　my　husband　saw　my　devotion　to　his　Guru；　his　respect　for　me　greatly　increased。　　He　noticed　his　Guru's　eager　desire　to　explain　the　scriptures　to　me。　　He　used　to　think　that　he　could　never　expect　to　earn　any　regard　from　his　Guru　himself；　on　account　of　his　stupidity；　but　his　wife　had　made　up　for　it。

〃Thus　another　five　years　went　by　happily；　and　my　whole　life　would　have　passed　like　that；　but　beneath　the　surface　some　stealing　was　going　on　somewhere　in　secret。　　I　could　not　detect　it；　but　it　was　detected　by　the　God　of　my　heart。　　Then　came　a　day　when；　in　a　moment　our　whole　life　was　turned　upside　down。

〃It　was　a　morning　in　midsummer。　　I　was　returning　home　from　bathing；　my　clothes　all　wet；　down　a　shady　lane。　　At　the　bend　of　the　road；　under　the　mango　tree；　I　met　my　Guru　Thakur。　　He　had　his　towel　on　his　shoulder　and　was　repeating　some　Sanskrit　verses　as　he　was　going　to　take　his　bath。　With　my　wet　clothes　clinging　all　about　me　I　was　ashamed　to　meet　him。　　I　tried　to　pass　by　quickly；　and　avoid　being　seen。　　He　called　me　by　my　name。

〃I　stopped；　lowering　my　eyes；　shrinking　into　myself。　　He　fixed　his　gaze　upon　me；　and　said：　‘How　beautiful　is　your　body！'

〃All　the　universe　of　birds　seemed　to　break　into　song　in　the　branches　overhead。　　All　the　bushes　in　the　lane　seemed　ablaze　with　flowers。　　It　was　as　though　the　earth　and　sky　and　everything　had　become　a　riot　of　intoxicating　joy。

〃I　cannot　tell　how　I　got　home。　　I　only　remember　that　I　rushed　into　the　room　where　we　worship　God。　　But　the　room　seemed　empty。　　Only　before　my　eyes　those　same　gold　spangles　of　light　were　dancing　which　had　quivered　in　front　of　me　in　that　shady　lane　on　my　way　back　from　the　river。

〃Guru　Thakur　came　to　take　his　food　that　day；　and　asked　my　husband　where　I　had　gone。　　He　searched　for　me；　but　could　not　find　me　anywhere。

〃Ah！　　I　have　not　the　same　earth　now　any　longer。　　The　same　sunlight　is　not　mine。　　I　called　on　my　God　in　my　dismay；　and　He　kept　His　face　turned　away　from　me。

〃The　day　passed；　I　know　not　how。　　That　night　I　had　to　meet　my　husband。　But　the　night　is　dark　and　silent。　　It　is　the　time　when　my　husband's　mind　comes　out　shining；　like　stars　at　twilight。　　I　had　heard　him　speak　things　in　the　dark；　and　I　had　been　surprised　to　find　how　deeply　he　understood。

〃Sometimes　I　am　late　in　the　evening　in　going　to　rest　on　account　of　household　work。　　My　husband　waits　for　me；　seated　on　the　floor；　without　going　to　bed。　　Our　talk　at　such　times　had　often　begun　with　something　about　our　Guru。

That　night；　when　it　was　past　midnight；　I　came　to　my　room；　and　found　my　husband　sleeping　on　the　floor。　　Without　disturbing　him　I　lay　down　on　the　ground　at　his　feet；　my　head　towards　him。　　Once　he　stretched　his　feet；　while　sleeping；　and　struck　me　on　the　breast。　　That　was　his　last　bequest。

〃Next　morning；　when　my　husband　woke　up　from　his　sleep；　I　was　already　sitting　by　him。　　Outside　the　window；　over　the　thick　foliage　of　the　jack…　fruit　tree；　appeared　the　first　pale　red　of　the　dawn　at　the　fringe　of　the　night。　　It　was　so　early　that　the　crows　had　not　yet　begun　to　call。

〃I　bowed；　and　touched　my　husband's　feet　with　my　forehead。　　He　sat　up；　starting　as　if　waking　from　a　dream；　and　looked　at　my　face　in　amazement。　I　said：

〃'　I　have　made　up　my　mind。　　I　must　leave　the　world。　　I　cannot　belong　to　you　any　longer。　　I　must　leave　your　home。'

〃Perhaps　my　husband　thought　that　he　was　still　dreaming。　　He　said　not　a　word。

Ah！　　do　hear　me　l'　I　pleaded　with　infinite　pain。　　‘　Do　hear　me　and　understand　I　You　must　marry　another　wife。　　I　must　take　my　leave。'

〃My　husband　said：　'　What　is　all　this　wild；　mad　talk？　　Who　advises　you　to　leave　the　world？'

〃I　said：　‘　My　Guru　Thakur。'

〃My　husband　looked　bewildered。　'　　Guru　Thakur！'　he　cried。　　'　When　did　he　give　you　this　advice？'

〃‘　In　the　morning；'　I　answered；　'　yesterday；　when　I　met　him　on　my　way　back　from　the　river。'

〃His　voice　trembled　a　little。　　He　turned；　and　looked　in　my　face；　and　asked　me：　‘Why　did　he　give　you　such　a　behest？'

〃‘　I　do　not　know；'　I　answered。　'　　Ask　him　1　He　will　tell　you　himself；　if　he　can。'

〃My　husband　said：　‘It　is　possible　to　leave　the　world；　even　when　continuing　to　live　in　it。　　You　need　not　leave　my　home。　　I　will　speak　to　my　Guru　about　it。'

〃‘　Your　Guru；'　I　said；　‘　may　accept　your　petition；　but　my　heart　will　never　give　its　consent。　　I　must　leave　your　home。　　From　henceforth；　the　world　is　no　more　to　me。'

〃My　husband　remained　silent；　and　we　sat　there　on　the　floor　in　the　dark。　When　it　was　light；　he　said　to　me：　'　Let　us　both　came　to　him。'

〃I　folded　my　hands　and　said：　‘　I　shall　never　meet　him　again。'

〃He　looked　into　my　face。　　I　lowered　my　eyes。　　He　said　no　more。　　I　knew　that；　somehow；　he　had　seen　into　my　mind；　and　understood　what　was　there。　In　this　world　of　mine；　there　were　only　two　who　loved　me　best…my　boy　and　my　husband。　　That　love　was　my　God；　and　therefore　it　could　brook　no　falsehood。　　One　of　these　two　left　me；　and　I　left　the　other。　　Now　I　must　have　truth；　and　truth　alone。〃

She　touched　the　ground　at　my　feet；　rose　and　bowed　to　me；　and　departed。




VISION

I

When　I　was　a　very　young　wife；　I　gave　birth　to　a　dead　child；　and　came　near　to　death　myself。　　I　recovered　strength　very　slowly；　and　my　eyesight　became　weaker　and　weaker。

My　husband　at　this　time　was　studying　medicine。　　He　was　not　altogether　sorry　to　have　a　chance　of　testing　his　medical　knowledge　on　me。　　So　he　began　to　treat　my　eyes　himself。

My　elder　brother　was　reading　for　his　law　examination。　　One　day　he　came　to　see　me；　and　was　alarmed　at　my　condition。

〃What　are　you　doing？〃　he　said　to　my　husband。　〃You　are　ruining　Kumo's　eyes。　　You　ought　to　consult　a　good　doctor　at　once。〃

My　husband　said　irritably：　〃Why！　what　can　a　good　doctor　do　more　than　I　am　doing？　　The　case　is　quite　a　simple　one；　and　the　remedies　are　all　well　known。〃

Dada　answered　with　scorn：　〃I　suppose　you　think　there　is　no　difference　between　you　and　a　Professor　in　your　own　Medical　College。〃

My　husband　replied　angrily：　〃If　you　ever　get　married；　and　there　is　a　dispute　about　your　wife's　property；　you　won't　take　my　advice　about　Law。　Why；　then；　do　you　now　come　advising　me　about　Medicine？〃

While　they　were　quarrelling；　I　was　saying　to　myself　that　it　was　always　the　poor　grass　that　suffered　most　when　two　kings　went　to　war。　　Here　was　a　dispute　going　on　between　these　two；　and　I　had　to　bear　the　bru