father goriot-第62节

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need　be　distressed　on　my　account。　It　is　all　my　own　fault；　I

taught　them　to　trample　upon　me。　I　loved　to　have　it　so。　It　is　no

one's　affair　but　mine；　man's　justice　and　God's　justice　have

nothing　to　do　in　it。　God　would　be　unjust　if　He　condemned　them　for

anything　they　may　have　done　to　me。　I　did　not　behave　to　them

properly；　I　was　stupid　enough　to　resign　my　rights。　I　would　have

humbled　myself　in　the　dust　for　them。　What　could　you　expect？　The

most　beautiful　nature；　the　noblest　soul；　would　have　been　spoiled

by　such　indulgence。　I　am　a　wretch；　I　am　justly　punished。　I；　and　I

only；　am　to　blame　for　all　their　sins；　I　spoiled　them。　To…day　they

are　as　eager　for　pleasure　as　they　used　to　be　for　sugar…plums。

When　they　were　little　girls　I　indulged　them　in　every　whim。　They

had　a　carriage　of　their　own　when　they　were　fifteen。　They　have

never　been　crossed。　I　am　guilty；　and　not　theybut　I　sinned

through　love。



〃My　heart　would　open　at　the　sound　of　their　voices。　I　can　hear

them；　they　are　coming。　Yes！　yes！　they　are　coming。　The　law　demands

that　they　should　be　present　at　their　father's　deathbed；　the　law

is　on　my　side。　It　would　only　cost　them　the　hire　of　a　cab。　I　would

pay　that。　Write　to　them；　tell　them　that　I　have　millions　to　leave

to　them！　On　my　word　of　honor；　yes。　I　am　going　to　manufacture

Italian　paste　foods　at　Odessa。　I　understand　the　trade。　There　are

millions　to　be　made　in　it。　Nobody　has　thought　of　the　scheme　as

yet。　You　see；　there　will　be　no　waste；　no　damage　in　transit；　as

there　always　is　with　wheat　and　flour。　Hey！　hey！　and　starch　too；

there　are　millions　to　be　made　in　the　starch　trade！　You　will　not

be　telling　a　lie。　Millions；　tell　them；　and　even　if　they　really

come　because　they　covet　the　money；　I　would　rather　let　them

deceive　me；　and　I　shall　see　them　in　any　case。　I　want　my　children！

I　gave　them　life；　they　are　mine；　mine！〃　and　he　sat　upright。　The

head　thus　raised；　with　its　scanty　white　hair；　seemed　to　Eugene

like　a　threat；　every　line　that　could　still　speak　spoke　of　menace。



〃There；　there；　dear　father；〃　said　Eugene；　〃lie　down　again；　I　will

write　to　them　at　once。　As　soon　as　Bianchon　comes　back　I　will　go

for　them　myself；　if　they　do　not　come　before。〃



〃If　they　do　not　come？〃　repeated　the　old　man；　sobbing。　〃Why；　I

shall　be　dead　before　then；　I　shall　die　in　a　fit　of　rage；　of　rage！

Anger　is　getting　the　better　of　me。　I　can　see　my　whole　life　at

this　minute。　I　have　been　cheated！　They　do　not　love　methey　have

never　loved　me　all　their　lives！　It　is　all　clear　to　me。　They　have

not　come；　and　they　will　not　come。　The　longer　they　put　off　their

coming；　the　less　they　are　likely　to　give　me　this　joy。　I　know

them。　They　have　never　cared　to　guess　my　disappointments；　my

sorrows；　my　wants；　they　never　cared　to　know　my　life；　they　will

have　no　presentiment　of　my　death；　they　do　not　even　know　the

secret　of　my　tenderness　for　them。　Yes；　I　see　it　all　now。　I　have

laid　my　heart　open　so　often；　that　they　take　everything　I　do　for

them　as　a　matter　of　course。　They　might　have　asked　me　for　the　very

eyes　out　of　my　head　and　I　would　have　bidden　them　to　pluck　them

out。　They　think　that　all　fathers　are　like　theirs。　You　should

always　make　your　value　felt。　Their　own　children　will　avenge　me。

Why；　for　their　own　sakes　they　should　come　to　me！　Make　them

understand　that　they　are　laying　up　retribution　for　their　own

deathbeds。　All　crimes　are　summed　up　in　this　one。　。　。　。　Go　to

them；　just　tell　them　that　if　they　stay　away　it　will　be　parricide！

There　is　enough　laid　to　their　charge　already　without　adding　that

to　the　list。　Cry　aloud　as　I　do　now；　'Nasie！　Delphine！　here！　Come

to　your　father；　the　father　who　has　been　so　kind　to　you　is　lying

ill！'Not　a　sound；　no　one　comes！　Then　am　I　do　die　like　a　dog？

This　is　to　be　my　rewardI　am　forsaken　at　the　last。　They　are

wicked；　heartless　women；　curses　on　them；　I　loathe　them。　I　shall

rise　at　night　from　my　grave　to　curse　them　again；　for；　after　all；

my　friends；　have　I　done　wrong？　They　are　behaving　very　badly　to

me；　eh？　。　。　。　What　am　I　saying？　Did　you　not　tell　me　just　now　that

Delphine　is　in　the　room？　She　is　more　tender…hearted　than　her

sister。　。　。　。　Eugene；　you　are　my　son；　you　know。　You　will　love

her；　be　a　father　to　her！　Her　sister　is　very　unhappy。　And　there

are　their　fortunes！　Ah；　God！　I　am　dying；　this　anguish　is　almost

more　than　I　can　bear！　Cut　off　my　head；　leave　me　nothing　but　my

heart。〃



〃Christophe！〃　shouted　Eugene；　alarmed　by　the　way　in　which　the　old

man　moaned；　and　by　his　cries；　〃go　for　M。　Bianchon；　and　send　a　cab

here　for　me。I　am　going　to　fetch　them；　dear　father；　I　will　bring

them　back　to　you。〃



〃Make　them　come！　Compel　them　to　come！　Call　out　the　Guard；　the

military；　anything　and　everything；　but　make　them　come！〃　He　looked

at　Eugene；　and　a　last　gleam　of　intelligence　shone　in　his　eyes。

〃Go　to　the　authorities；　to　the　Public　Prosecutor；　let　them　bring

them　here；　come　they　shall！〃



〃But　you　have　cursed　them。〃



〃Who　said　that！〃　said　the　old　man　in　dull　amazement。　〃You　know

quite　well　that　I　love　them；　I　adore　them！　I　shall　be　quite　well

again　if　I　can　see　them。　。　。　。　Go　for　them；　my　good　neighbor；　my

dear　boy；　you　are　kind…hearted；　I　wish　I　could　repay　you　for　your

kindness；　but　I　have　nothing　to　give　you　now；　save　the　blessing

of　a　dying　man。　Ah！　if　I　could　only　see　Delphine；　to　tell　her　to

pay　my　debt　to　you。　If　the　other　cannot　come；　bring　Delphine　to

me　at　any　rate。　Tell　her　that　unless　she　comes；　you　will　not　love

her　any　more。　She　is　so　fond　of　you　that　she　will　come　to　me

then。　Give　me　something　to　drink！　There　is　a　fire　in　my　bowels。

Press　something　against　my　forehead！　If　my　daughters　would　lay

their　hands　there；　I　think　I　should　get　better。　。　。　。　MON　DIEU！

who　will　recover　their　money　for　them　when　I　am　gone？　。　。　。　I

will　manufacture　vermicelli　out　in　Odessa；　I　will　go　to　Odessa

for　their　sakes。〃



〃Here　is　something　to　drink；〃　said　Eugene；　supporting　the　dying

man　on　his　left　arm；　while　he　held　a　cup　of　tisane　to　Goriot's

lips。



〃How　you　must　love　your　own　father　and　mother！〃　said　the　old　man；

and　grasped　the　student's　hand　in　both　of　his。　It　was　a　feeble；

trembling　grasp。　〃I　am　going　to　die；　I　shall　die　without　seeing

my　daughters；　do　you　understand？　To　be　always　thirsting；　and

never　to　drink；　that　has　been　my　life　for　the　last　ten　years。　。　。　。

I　have　no　daughters；　my　sons…in…law　killed　them。　No；　since

their　marriages　they　have　been　dead　to　me。　Fathers　should

petition　the　Chambers　to　pass　a　law　against　marriage。　If　you　love

your　daughters；　do　not　let　them　marry。　A　son…in…law　is　a　rascal

who　poisons　a　girl's　mind　and　contaminates　her　whole　nature。　Let

us　have　no　more　marriages！　It　robs　us　of　our　daughters；　we　are

left　alone　upon　our　deathbeds；　and　they　are　not　with　us　then。

They　ought　to　pass　a　law　for　dying　fathers。　This　is　awful！　It

cries　for　vengeance！　They　cannot　come；　because　my　sons…in…law

forbid　them！　。　。　。　Kill　them！　。　。　。　Restaud　and　the　Alsatian；

kill　them　both！　They　have　murdered　me　between　them！　。　。　。　Death

or　my　daughters！　。　。　。　Ah！　it　is　too　late；　I　am　dying；　and　they

are　not　here！　。　。　。　Dying　without　them！　。　。　。　Nasie！　Fifine！　Why

do　you　not　come　to　me？　Your　papa　is　going〃



〃Dear　Father　Goriot；　calm　yourself。　There；　there；　lie　quietly　and

rest；　don't　worry　yourself；　don't　think。〃



〃I　shall　not　see　them。　Oh！　the　agony　of　it！〃



〃You　SHALL　see　them。〃



〃Really？〃　cried　the　old　man；　still　wandering。　〃Oh！　shall　I　see

them；　I　shall　see　them　and　hear　their　voices。　I　shall　die　happy。

Ah！　well；　after　all；　I　do　not　wish　to　live；　I　cannot　stand　this

much　longer；　this　pain　that　grows　worse　and　worse。　But；　oh！　to

see　them；　to　touch　their　dressesah！　nothing　but　their　dresses；

that　is　very　little；　still；　to　feel　something　that　belongs　to

them。　Let　me　touch　their　hair　with　my　fingers　。　。　。　their

hair　。　。　。〃



His　head　fell　back　on　the　pillow；　as　if　a　sudden　heavy　blow　had

struck　him　down；　but　his　hands　groped　feebly　over　the　quilt；　as

if　to　find　his　daughters'　hair。



〃My　blessing　on　them　。　。　。〃　he　said；　making　an　effort；　〃my

blessing　。　。　。〃



His　voice　died　away。　Just　at　that　moment　Bianchon　came　into　the

room。



〃I　met　Christophe；〃　he　said；　〃he　is　gone　for　your　cab。〃



Then　he　looked　at　the　patient；　and　raised　the　closed　eyelids　with

his　fingers。　The　two　students　saw　how　dead　and　lustreless　the

eyes　beneath　had　grown。



〃He　will　not　get　over　this；　I　am　sure；〃　said　Bianchon。　He　felt

the　old　man's　pulse；　and　laid　a　hand　over　his　heart。



〃The　machinery　works　still；　more　is　the　pity；　in　his　state　it

would　be　better　for　him　to　die。〃



〃Ah！　my　word；　it　would！〃



〃What　is　the　matter　with　you？　You　are　as　pale　as　death。〃



〃Dear　fellow；　the　moans　and　cries　that　I　have　just　heard。　。　。　。

There　is　a　God！　Ah！　yes；　yes；　there　is　a　God；　and　He　has　made　a

better　world　for　us；　or　this　world　of　ours　would　be　a　nightmare。

I　could　have　cried　like　a　child；　but　this　is　too　tragical；　and　I

am　sick　at　heart。