the red cross girl(红十字姑娘)-第48节
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I had looked forward to spending Christmas with some people in
Suffolk； and every one in London assured me that at their house there
would be the kind of a Christmas house party you hear about but see only
in the illustrated Christmas numbers。 They promised mistletoe；
snapdragon； and Sir Roger de Coverley。 On Christmas morning we would
walk to church； after luncheon we would shoot； after dinner we would eat
plum pudding floating in blazing brandy； dance with the servants； and
listen to the waits singing 〃God rest you； merry gentlemen； let nothing you
dismay。〃
To a lone American bachelor stranded in London it sounded fine。 And
in my gratitude I had already shipped to my hostess； for her children； of
whose age； number； and sex I was ignorant； half of Gamage's dolls； skees；
and cricket bats； and those crackers that； when you pull them； sometimes
explode。 But it was not to be。 Most inconsiderately my wealthiest patient
gained sufficient courage to consent to an operation； and in all New York
would permit no one to lay violent hands upon him save myself。 By cable
I advised postponement。 Having lived in lawful harmony with his
appendix for fifty years； I thought； for one week longer he might safely
maintain the status quo。 But his cable in reply was an ultimatum。 So； on
Christmas eve； instead of Hallam Hall and a Yule log； I was in a gale
plunging and pitching off the coast of Ireland； and the only log on board
was the one the captain kept to himself。
I sat in the smoking…room； depressed and cross； and it must have been
on the principle that misery loves company that I foregathered with Talbot；
or rather that Talbot foregathered with me。 Certainty； under happier
conditions and in haunts of men more crowded； the open…faced manner in
which he forced himself upon me would have put me on my guard。 But；
either out of deference to the holiday spirit； as manifested in the fictitious
gayety of our few fellow…passengers； or because the young man in a
knowing； impertinent way was most amusing； I listened to him from
dinner time until midnight； when the chief officer； hung with snow and
icicles； was blown in from the deck and wished all a merry Christmas。
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Even after they unmasked Talbot I had neither the heart nor the
inclination to turn him down。 Indeed； had not some of the passengers
testified that I belonged to a different profession； the smoking…room crowd
would have quarantined me as his accomplice。 On the first night I met him
I was not certain whether he was English or giving an imitation。 All the
outward and visible signs were English； but he told me that； though he had
been educated at Oxford and since then had spent most of his years in
India； playing polo； he was an American。 He seemed to have spent much
time； and according to himself much money； at the French watering…places
and on the Riviera。 I felt sure that it was in France I had already seen him；
but where I could not recall。 He was hard to place。 Of people at home and
in London well worth knowing he talked glibly； but in speaking of them he
made several slips。 It was his taking the trouble to cover up the slips that
first made me wonder if his talking about himself was not mere vanity； but
had some special object。 I felt he was presenting letters of introduction in
order that later he might ask a favor。 Whether he was leading up to an
immediate loan； or in New York would ask for a card to a club； or an
introduction to a banker； I could not tell。 But in forcing himself upon me；
except in self…interest； I could think of no other motive。 The next evening I
discovered the motive。
He was in the smoking…room playing solitaire； and at once I recalled
that it was at Aix…les…Bains I had first seen him； and that he held a bank at
baccarat。 When he asked me to sit down I said： 〃I saw you last summer at
Aix…les…Bains。〃
His eyes fell to the pack in his hands and apparently searched it for
some particular card。
〃What was I doing？〃 he asked。
〃Dealing baccarat at the Casino des Fleurs。〃
With obvious relief he laughed。
〃Oh； yes；〃 he assented； 〃jolly place； Aix。 But I lost a pot of money
there。 I'm a rotten hand at cards。 Can't win； and can't leave 'em alone。〃 As
though for this weakness； so frankly confessed； he begged me to excuse
him； he smiled appealingly。 〃Poker； bridge； chemin de fer； I like 'em all；〃
he rattled on； 〃but they don't like me。 So I stick to solitaire。 It's dull； but
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cheap。〃 He shuffled the cards clumsily。 As though making conversation；
he asked： 〃You care for cards yourself？〃
I told him truthfully I did not know the difference between a club and a
spade and had no curiosity to learn。 At this； when he found he had been
wasting time on me； I expected him to show some sign of annoyance； even
of irritation； but his disappointment struck far deeper。 As though I had hurt
him physically； he shut his eyes； and when again he opened them I saw in
them distress。 For the moment I believe of my presence he was utterly
unconscious。 His hands lay idle upon the table； like a man facing a crisis；
he stared before him。 Quite improperly； I felt sorry for him。 In me he
thought he had found a victim； and that the loss of the few dollars he
might have won should so deeply disturb him showed his need was great。
Almost at once he abandoned me and I went on deck。 When I returned an
hour later to the smoking…room he was deep in a game of poker。
As I passed he hailed me gayly。
〃Don't scold； now；〃 he laughed； 〃you know I can't keep away from it。〃
From his manner those at the table might have supposed we were
friends of long and happy companionship。 I stopped behind his chair； but
he thought I had passed； and in reply to one of the players answered：
〃Known him for years； he's set me right many a time。 When I broke my
right femur 'chasin；' he got me back in the saddle in six weeks。 All my
people swear by him。〃
One of the players smiled up at me； and Talbot turned。 But his eyes
met mine with perfect serenity。 He even held up his cards for me to see。
〃What would you draw？〃 he asked。
His audacity so astonished me that in silence I could only stare at him
and walk on。
When on deck he met me he was not even apologetic。 Instead； as
though we were partners in crime； he chuckled delightedly。
〃Sorry；〃 he said。 〃Had to do it。 They weren't very keen at my taking a
hand； so I had to use your name。 But I'm all right now；〃 he assured me。
〃They think you vouched for me； and to…night they're going to raise the
limit。 I've convinced them I'm an easy mark。〃
〃And I take it you are not；〃 I said stiffly。
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He considered this unworthy of an answer and only smiled。 Then the
smile died； and again in his eyes I saw distress； infinite weariness； and
fear。
As though his thoughts drove him to seek protection； he came closer。
〃I'm 'in bad；' doctor；〃 he said。 His voice was frightened； bewildered；
like that of a child。 〃I can't sleep； nerves all on the loose。 I don't think
straight。 I hear voices； and no one around。 I hear knockings at the door；
and when I open it； no one there。 If I don't keep fit I can't work； and this
trip I got to make expenses。 You couldn't help me； could youcouldn't
give me something to keep my head straight？〃
The need of my keeping his head straight that he might the easier rob
our fellow…passengers raised a pretty question of ethics。 I meanly dodged
it。 I told him professional etiquette required I should leave him to the
ship's surgeon。
〃But I don't know HIM；〃 he protested。
Mindful of the use he had made of my name； I objected strenuously：
〃Well； you certainly don't know me。〃
My res
