the red cross girl(红十字姑娘)-第39节
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Maddox。〃
Like a man awakening from a nightmare； Philip tried to separate the
horror of the situation from the cold fact。 The cold fact was sufficiently
horrible。 It was that； without a penny to pay for them； he had bought
shares in three steamship lines； which shares； added together； were worth
two hundred and twenty five thousand dollars。 He returned down the
corridor toward the lounge。 Trembling at his own audacity； he was in a
state of almost complete panic； when that happened which made his
outrageous speculation of little consequence。 It was drawing near to half…
past one； and； in the persons of several smart men and beautiful ladies； the
component parts of different luncheon parties were beginning to assemble。
Of the luncheon to which Lady Woodcote had invited him； only one
guest had arrived； but； so far as Philip was concerned； that one was
sufficient。 It was Helen herself； seated alone； with her eyes fixed on the
doors opening from Piccadilly。 Philip； his heart singing with appeals；
blessings； and adoration； ran toward her。 Her profile was toward him； and
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she could not see him； but he could see her。 And he noted that； as though
seeking some one； her eyes were turned searchingly upon each young man
as he entered and moved from one to another of those already in the
lounge。 Her expression was eager and anxious。
〃If only；〃 Philip exclaimed； 〃she were looking for me！ She certainly is
looking for some man。 I wonder who it can be？〃
As suddenly as if he had slapped his face into a wall； he halted in his
steps。 Why should he wonder？ Why did he not read her mind？ Why did he
not KNOW？ A waiter was hastening toward him。 Philip fixed his mind
upon the waiter； and his eyes as well。 Mentally Philip demanded of him：
〃Of what are you thinking？〃
There was no response。 And then； seeing an unlit cigarette hanging
from Philip's lips； the waiter hastily struck a match and proffered it。
Obviously； his mind had worked； first； in observing the half…burned
cigarette； next； in furnishing the necessary match。 And of no step in that
mental process had Philip been conscious！ The conclusion was only too
apparent。 His power was gone。 No longer was he a mind reader！
Hastily Philip reviewed the adventures of the morning。 As he
considered them； the moral was obvious。 The moment he had used his
power to his own advantage； he had lost it。 So long as he had exerted it for
the happiness of the two lovers； to save the life of the King； to thwart the
dishonesty of a swindler； he had been all…powerful； but when he
endeavored to bend it to his own uses； it had fled from him。 As he stood
abashed and repentant； Helen turned her eyes toward him； and； at the sight
of him； there leaped to them happiness and welcome and complete content。
It was 〃the look that never was on land or sea；〃 and it was not necessary to
be a mind reader to understand it。 Philip sprang toward her as quickly as a
man dodges a taxi…cab。
〃I came early；〃 said Helen； 〃because I wanted to talk to you before the
others arrived。〃 She seemed to be repeating words already rehearsed； to be
following a course of conduct already predetermined。 〃I want to tell you；〃
she said； 〃that I am sorry you are going away。 I want to tell you that I shall
miss you very much。〃 She paused and drew a long breath。 And she looked
at Philip as if she was begging him to make it easier for her to go on。
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Philip proceeded to make it easier。
〃Will you miss me；〃 he asked； 〃in the Row； where I used to wait
among the trees to see you ride past？ Will you miss me at dances； where I
used to hide behind the dowagers to watch you waltzing by？ Will you miss
me at night； when you come home by sunrise； and I am not hiding against
the railings of the Carlton Club； just to see you run across the pavement
from your carriage； just to see the light on your window blind； just to see
the light go out； and to know that you are sleeping？〃
Helen's eyes were smiling happily。 She looked away from him。
〃Did you use to do that？〃 she asked。
〃Every night I do that；〃 said Philip。 〃Ask the policemen！ They arrested
me three times。〃
〃Why？〃 said Helen gently。
But Philip was not yet free to speak； so he said：
〃They thought I was a burglar。〃
Helen frowned。 He was making it very hard for her。
〃You know what I mean；〃 she said。 〃Why did you keep guard outside
my window？〃
〃It was the policeman kept guard；〃 said Philip。 〃I was there only as a
burglar。 I came to rob。 But I was a coward； or else I had a conscience； or
else I knew my own unworthiness。〃 There was a long pause。 As both of
them； whenever they heard the tune afterward； always remembered； the
Hungarian band； with rare inconsequence； was playing the 〃Grizzly Bear；〃
and people were trying to speak to Helen。 By her they were received with
a look of so complete a lack of recognition； and by Philip with a glare of
such savage hate； that they retreated in dismay。 The pause seemed to last
for many years。
At last Helen said： 〃Do you know the story of the two roses？ They
grew in a garden under a lady's window。 They both loved her。 One looked
up at her from the ground and sighed for her； but the other climbed to the
lady's window； and she lifted him in and kissed himbecause he had dared
to climb。〃
Philip took out his watch and looked at it。 But Helen did not mind his
doing that； because she saw that his eyes were filled with tears。 She was
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delighted to find that she was making it very hard for him； too。
〃At any moment；〃 Philip said； 〃I may know whether I owe two
hundred and twenty…five thousand dollars which I can never pay； or
whether I am worth about that sum。 I should like to continue this
conversation at the exact place where you last spokeAFTER I know
whether I am going to jail； or whether I am worth a quarter of a million
dollars。〃
Helen laughed aloud with happiness。
〃I knew that was it！〃 she cried。 〃You don't like my money。 I was afraid
you did not like ME。 If you dislike my money； I will give it away； or I will
give it to you to keep for me。 The money does not matter； so long as you
don't dislike me。〃
What Philip would have said to that； Helen could not know； for a page
in many buttons rushed at him with a message from the telephone； and
with a hand that trembled Philip snatched it。 It read： 〃Combine is
announced； shares have gone to thirty…one； shall I hold or sell？〃
That at such a crisis he should permit of any interruption hurt Helen
deeply。 She regarded him with unhappy eyes。 Philip read the message
three times。 At last； and not without uneasy doubts as to his own sanity； he
grasped the preposterous truth。 He was worth almost a quarter of a million
dollars！ At the page he shoved his last and only five…pound note。 He
pushed the boy from him。
〃Run！〃 he commanded。 〃Get out of here； Tell him he is to SELL！〃
He turned to Helen with a look in his eyes that could not be questioned
or denied。 He seemed incapable of speech； and； to break the silence； Helen
said： 〃Is it good news？〃
〃That depends entirely upon you；〃 replied Philip soberly。 〃Indeed； all
my future life depends upon what you are going to say next。〃
Helen breathed deeply and happily。
〃Andwhat am I going to say？〃
〃How can I know that？〃 demanded Philip。 〃Am I a mind reader？〃
But what she said may be safely guessed from the fact that they both
chucked Lady Woodcotes luncheon； and ate one of penny buns； which
they shared with the bears in Regents Park。
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Philip was just able to pay for the penny buns。 Helen paid for the taxi…
cab。
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