the red cross girl(红十字姑娘)-第19节
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was confronted by a German officer in a spiked helmet fighting a duel
with himself in the mirror。 The assistant retreated precipitately； and Ford；
conscious that he appeared ridiculous； tried to turn the tables by saying； 〃
Does a German uniform always affect a Territorial like that？〃
The assistant laughed good…naturedly。
〃It did give me quite a turn；〃 he said。 〃It's this talk of invasion； I fancy。
But for a fact； sir； if I was a Coast Guard； and you came along the beach
dressed like that； I'd take a shot at you； just on the chance； anyway。〃
〃And； quite right； too！〃 said Ford。
He was wondering when the invasion did come whether he would
stick at his post in London and dutifully forward the news to his paper； or
play truant and as a war correspondent watch the news in the making。 So
the words of Mr。 Clarkson's assistant did not sink in。 But a few weeks later
young Major Bellew recalled them。 Bellew was giving a dinner on the
terrace of the Savoy Restaurant。 His guests were his nephew； young
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Herbert； who was only five years younger than his uncle； and Herbert's
friend Birrell； an Irishman； both in their third term at the university。 After
five years' service in India； Bellew had spent the last 〃Eights〃 week at
Oxford； and was complaining bitterly that since his day the undergraduate
had deteriorated。 He had found him serious； given to study； far too well
behaved。 Instead of Jorrocks； he read Galsworthy； instead of 〃wines〃 he
found pleasure in debating clubs where he discussed socialism。 Ragging；
practical jokes； ingenious hoaxes； that once were wont to set England in a
roar； were a lost art。 His undergraduate guests combated these charges
fiercely。 His criticisms they declared unjust and without intelligence。
〃You're talking rot！〃 said his dutiful nephew。 〃Take Phil here； for
example。 I've roomed with him three years and I can testify that he has
never opened a book。 He never heard of Galsworthy until you spoke of
him。 And you can see for yourself his table manners are quite as bad as
yours！〃
〃Worse！〃 assented Birrell loyally。
〃And as for ragging！ What rags； in your day； were as good as ours； as
the Carrie Nation rag； for instance； when five hundred people sat through a
temperance lecture and never guessed they were listening to a man from
Balliol？〃
〃And the Abyssinian Ambassador rag！〃 cried Herbert。 〃What price that？
When the DREADNOUGHT manned the yards for him and gave him
seventeen guns。 That was an Oxford rag； and carried through by Oxford
men。 The country hasn't stopped laughing yet。 You give us a rag！〃
challenged Herbert。 〃 Make it as hard as you like； something risky；
something that will make the country sit up； something that will send us
all to jail； and Phil and I will put it through whether it takes one man or a
dozen。 Go on；〃 he persisted； 〃And I bet we can get fifty volunteers right
here in town and all of them undergraduates。〃
〃Give you the idea； yes！〃 mocked Bellew； trying to gain time。 〃That's
just what I say。 You boys to…day are so dull。 You lack initiative。 It's the
idea that counts。 Anybody can do the acting。 That's just amateur
theatricals！〃
〃Is it！〃 snorted Herbert。 〃If you want to know what stage fright is； just
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go on board a British battle…ship with your face covered with burnt cork
and insist on being treated like an ambassador。 You'll find it's a little
different from a first night with the Simla Thespians！〃
Ford had no part in the debate。 He had been smoking comfortably and
with well…timed nods； impartially encouraging each disputant。 But now he
suddenly laid his cigar upon his plate； and； after glancing quickly about
him； leaned eagerly forward。 They were at the corner table of the terrace；
and； as it was now past nine o'clock； the other diners had departed to the
theatres and they were quite alone。 Below them； outside the open windows；
were the trees of the embankment； and beyond； the Thames； blocked to the
west by the great shadows of the Houses of Parliament； lit only by the
flame in the tower that showed the Lower House was still sitting。
〃I'LL give you an idea for a rag；〃 whispered Ford。 〃One that is risky；
that will make the country sit up； that ought to land you in Jail？ Have you
read 'The Riddle of the Sands'？〃
Bellew and Herbert nodded； Birrell made no sign。
〃 Don't mind him；〃 exclaimed Herbert impatiently。 〃HE never reads
anything！ Go on！〃
〃It's the book most talked about；〃 explained Ford。 〃And what else is
most talked about？〃 He answered his own question。 〃The landing of the
Germans in Morocco and the chance of war。 Now； I ask you； with that
book in everybody's mind； and the war scare in everybody's mind； what
would happen if German soldiers appeared to…night on the Norfolk coast
just where the book says they will appear？ Not one soldier； but dozens of
soldiers； not in one place； but in twenty places？〃
〃What would happen？〃 roared Major Bellew loyally。 〃The Boy Scouts
would fall out of bed and kick them into the sea！〃
〃Shut up！〃 snapped his nephew irreverently。 He shook Ford by the arm。
〃How？〃 he demanded breathlessly。 〃How are we to do it？ It would take
hundreds of men。〃
〃Two men；〃 corrected Ford； 〃And a third man to drive the car。 I
thought it out one day at Clarkson's when I came across a lot of German
uniforms。 I thought of it as a newspaper story； as a trick to find out how
prepared you people are to meet invasion。 And when you said just now
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that you wanted a chance to go to jail 〃
〃What's your plan？〃 interrupted Birrell。
〃We would start just before dawn〃 began Ford。
〃We？〃 demanded Herbert。 〃Are you in this？〃
〃Am I in it？〃 cried Ford indignantly。 〃It's my own private invasion！ I'm
letting you boys in on the ground floor。 If I don't go； there won t be any
invasion！〃
The two pink…cheeked youths glanced at each other inquiringly and
then nodded。
〃We accept your services； sir；〃 said Birrell gravely。 〃What's your
plan？〃
In astonishment Major Bellew glanced from one to the other and then
slapped the table with his open palm。 His voice shook with righteous
indignation。
〃Of all the preposterous； outrageousAre you mad？〃 he demanded。
〃Do you suppose for one minute I will allow〃
His nephew shrugged his shoulders and； rising； pushed back his chair。
〃Oh； you go to the devil！〃 he exclaimed cheerfully。 〃Come on； Ford；〃
he said。 〃We'll find some place where uncle can't hear us。〃
Two days later a touring car carrying three young men； in the twenty…
one miles between Wells and Cromer； broke down eleven times。 Each time
this misfortune befell them one young man scattered tools in the road and
on his knees hammered ostentatiously at the tin hood； and the other two
occupants of the car sauntered to the beach。 There they chucked pebbles at
the waves and then slowly retraced their steps。 Each time the route by
which they returned was different from the one by which they had set
forth。 Sometimes they followed the beaten path down the cliff or； as it
chanced to be； across the marshes； sometimes they slid down the face of
the cliff； sometimes they lost themselves behind the hedges and in the
lanes of the villages。 But when they again reached the car the procedure of
each was alikeeach produced a pencil and on the face of his 〃Half Inch〃
road map traced strange； fantastic signs。
At lunch…time they stopped at the East Cliff Hotel at Cromer and made
numerous and trivial inquiries about the Cromer golf links。 They had come；
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they volunteered； from Ely for a day of sea…bathing and golf； they were
returning
