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第35节

whirligigs-第35节

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the bit; so I won't wake up your mamma; who is lying

down with a headache; and left you in charge of Felicia。

who has been faithless to her trust。〃



〃Oh; dear;〃 said Tommy; with a sigh。  〃I thought

you would be more up…to…date。  This oil is for the salad

when I bring lunch from the pantry for you。  And

mamma and papa have gone to the Metropolitan to hear

De Reszke。  But that isn't my fault。  It only shows how

long the story has been knocking around among the

editors。  If the author had been wise he'd have changed

it to Caruso in the proofs。〃



〃Be quiet;〃 hissed the burglar; under his breath。  〃If

you raise an alarm I'll wring your neck like a rabbit's。〃



〃Like a chicken's;〃 corrected Tommy。  〃You had

that wrong。  You don't wring rabbits' necks。〃



〃Aren't you afraid of me?〃  asked the burglar。



〃You know I'm not;〃 answered Tommy。  〃Don't

you suppose I know fact from fiction。  If this wasn't a

story I'd yell like an Indian when I saw you; and you'd

probably tumble downstairs and get pinched on the

sidewalk。〃



〃I see;〃 said the burglar; 〃that you're on to your

job。  Go on with the performance。〃



Tommy seated himself in an armchair and drew his

toes up under him。



〃Why do you go around robbing strangers; Mr。 Burg…

lar?  Have you no friends?〃



〃I see what you're driving at;〃 said the burglar; with

a dark frown。  〃It's the same old story。  Your innocence

and childish insouciance is going to lead me back into

an honest life。  Every time I crack a crib where there's

a kid around; it happens。〃



〃Would you mind gazing with wolfish eyes at the plate

of cold beef that the butler has left on the dining table?〃

said Tommy。  〃I'm afraid it's growing late。〃



The burglar accommodated。



〃Poor man;〃 said Tommy。  〃You must be hungry。

If you will please stand in a listless attitude I will get you

something to eat。〃



The boy brought a roast chicken; a jar of marmalade

and a bottle of wine from the pantry。  The burglar

seized a knife and fork sullenly。



〃It's only been an hour;〃 he grumbled; 〃since I had a

lobster and a pint of musty ale up on Broadway。  I wish

these story writers would let a fellow have a pepsin tablet;

anyhow; between feeds。〃



〃My papa writes books;〃 remarked Tommy。



The burglar jumped to his feet quickly。



〃You said he had gone to the opera;〃 he hissed; hoarsely

and with immediate suspicion。



〃I ought to have explained;〃 said Tommy。  〃He

didn't buy the tickets。〃  The burglar sat again and toyed

with the wishbone。



〃Why do you burgle houses?〃  asked the boy;

wonderingly。



〃Because;〃 replied the burglar; with a sudden flow of

tears。  〃God bless my little brown…baired boy Bessie

at home。〃



〃Ah;〃 said Tommy; wrinkling his nose; 〃you got that

answer in the wrong place。  You want to tell your hard…

luck story before you pull out the child stop。〃



〃Oh; yes;〃 said the burglar; 〃I forgot。  Well; once

I lived in Milwaukee; and  〃



〃Take the silver;〃 said Tommy; rising from his chair。



〃Hold on;〃 said the burglar。  〃But I moved away。〃

I could find no other employment。  For a while I man…

aged to support my wife and child by passing confederate

money; but; alas!  I was forced to give that up because it

did not belong to the union。  I became desperate and a

burglar。〃



〃Have you ever fallen into the hands of the police?〃

asked Tommy。



〃I said 'burglar;' not 'beggar;'〃 answered the

cracksman。



〃After you finish your lunch;〃 said Tommy; 〃and

experience the usual change Of heart; how shall we wind

up the story?〃



〃Suppose;〃 said the burglar; thoughtfully; 〃that Tony

Pastor turns out earlier than usual to…night; and your

father gets in from 'Parsifal' at 10。30。  I am thoroughly

repentant because you have made me think of my own

little boy Bessie; and  〃



〃Say;〃 said Tommy; 〃haven't you got that wrong?〃



〃Not on your coloured crayon drawings by B。 Cory

Kilvert;〃 said the burglar。  〃It's always a Bessie that

I have at home; artlessly prattling to the pale…checked

burglar's bride。  As I was saying; your father opens the

front door just as I am departing with admonitions and

sandwiches that you have wrapped up for me。  Upon

recognizing me as an old Harvard classmate he starts

back in  〃



〃Not in surprise?〃  interrupted Tommy; with wide;

open eyes。



〃He starts back in the doorway;〃 continued the burglar。

And then he rose to his feet and began to shout 〃Rah;

rah; rah!  rah; rah; rah!  rah; rah; rah!〃



〃Well;〃 said Tommy; wonderingly; 〃that's; the first

time I ever knew a burglar to give a college yell when he

was burglarizing a house; even in a story。〃



〃That's one on you;〃 said the burglar; with a laugh。

〃I was practising the dramatization。  If this is put on

the stage that college touch is about the only thing that

will make it go。〃



Tommy looked his admiration。



〃You're on; all right;〃 he said。



〃And there's another mistalze you've made;〃 said the

burglar。  〃You should have gone some time ago and

brought me the 9 gold piece your mother gave you on

your birthday to take to Bessie。〃



〃But she didn't give it to me to take to Bessie;〃 said

Tommy; pouting。



〃Come; come!〃  said the burglar; sternly。  〃It's not

nice of you to take advantage because the story contains

an ambiguous sentence。  You know what I mean。  It's

mighty little I get out of these fictional jobs; anyhow。  I

lose all the loot; and I have to reform every time; and all

the swag I'm allowed is the blamed little fol…de…rols and

luck…pieces that you kids hand over。  Why; in one story;

all I got was a kiss from a little girl who came in on me

when I was opening a safe。  And it tasted of molasses

candy; too。  I've a good notion to tie this table cover

over your head and keep on into the silver…closet。〃



〃Oh; no; you haven't;〃 said Tommy; wrapping his

arms around his knees。  〃Because if you did no editor

would buy the story。  You know you've got to preserve

the unities。〃



〃So've you;〃 said the burglar; rather glumly。

〃Instead of sitting here talking impudence and taking the

bread out of a poor man's mouth; what you'd like to be

doing is hiding under the bed and screeching at the top

of your voice。〃



〃You're right; old man;〃 said Tommy; heartily。  〃I

wonder what they make us do it for?  I think the

S。 P。 C。 C。 ought to interfere。  I'm sure it's neither

agreeable nor usual for a kid of my age to butt in when a

full…grown burglar is at work and offer him a red sled and

a pair of skates not to awaken his sick mother。  And look

how they make the burglars act!  You'd think editors

would know  but what's the use?〃



The burglar wiped his hands on the tablecloth and

arose with a yawn。



〃Well; let's get through with it;〃 he said。  〃God

bless you; my little boy!  you have saved a man from

committing a crime this night。  Bessie shall pray for you

as soon as I get home and give her her orders。  I shall

never burglarize another house  at least not until the

June magazines are out。  It'll be your little sister's turn

then to run in on me while I am abstracting the U。 S。 4

per cent。 from the tea urn and buy me off with her coral

necklace and a falsetto kiss。〃



〃You haven't got all the kicks coming to you;〃 sighed

Tommy; crawling out of his chair。  〃Think of the sleep

I'm losing。  But it's tough on both of us; old man。  I wish

you could get out of the story and really rob somebody。

Maybe you'll have the chance if they dramatize us。〃



〃Never!〃  said the burglar; gloomily。  〃Between the

box office and my better impulses that your leading juven…

iles are supposed to awaken and the magazines that pay

on publication; I guess I'll always be broke。〃



〃I'm sorry;〃 said Tommy; sympathetically。  〃But I

can't help myself any more than you can。  It's one of the

canons of household fiction that no burglar shall be suc…

cessful。  The burglar must be foiled by a kid like me; or…

by a young lady heroine; or at the last moment by his old

pal; Red Mike; who recognizes the house as one in which

he used to be the coachman。  You have got the worst

end of it in any kind of a story。〃



〃Well; I suppose I must be clearing out now;〃 said

the burglar; taking up his lantern and bracebit。



〃You have to take the rest of this chicken and the

bottle of wine with you for Bessie and her mother;〃 said

Tommy; calmly。



〃But confound it;〃 exclaimed the burglar; in an annoyed

tone; 〃they don't want it。  I've got five cases of Chateau

de Beychsvelle at home that was bottled in 1853。  That

claret of yours is corked。  And you couldn't get either

of them to look at a chicken unless it was stewed in

champagne。  You know; after I get out of the story I

don't have so many limitations。  I make a turn now and

then。〃



〃Yes; but you must take them;〃 said Tommy; loading

his arms with the b

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