whirligigs-第35节

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the　bit；　so　I　won't　wake　up　your　mamma；　who　is　lying

down　with　a　headache；　and　left　you　in　charge　of　Felicia。

who　has　been　faithless　to　her　trust。〃



〃Oh；　dear；〃　said　Tommy；　with　a　sigh。　　〃I　thought

you　would　be　more　up…to…date。　　This　oil　is　for　the　salad

when　I　bring　lunch　from　the　pantry　for　you。　　And

mamma　and　papa　have　gone　to　the　Metropolitan　to　hear

De　Reszke。　　But　that　isn't　my　fault。　　It　only　shows　how

long　the　story　has　been　knocking　around　among　the

editors。　　If　the　author　had　been　wise　he'd　have　changed

it　to　Caruso　in　the　proofs。〃



〃Be　quiet；〃　hissed　the　burglar；　under　his　breath。　　〃If

you　raise　an　alarm　I'll　wring　your　neck　like　a　rabbit's。〃



〃Like　a　chicken's；〃　corrected　Tommy。　　〃You　had

that　wrong。　　You　don't　wring　rabbits'　necks。〃



〃Aren't　you　afraid　of　me？〃　　asked　the　burglar。



〃You　know　I'm　not；〃　answered　Tommy。　　〃Don't

you　suppose　I　know　fact　from　fiction。　　If　this　wasn't　a

story　I'd　yell　like　an　Indian　when　I　saw　you；　and　you'd

probably　tumble　downstairs　and　get　pinched　on　the

sidewalk。〃



〃I　see；〃　said　the　burglar；　〃that　you're　on　to　your

job。　　Go　on　with　the　performance。〃



Tommy　seated　himself　in　an　armchair　and　drew　his

toes　up　under　him。



〃Why　do　you　go　around　robbing　strangers；　Mr。　Burg…

lar？　　Have　you　no　friends？〃



〃I　see　what　you're　driving　at；〃　said　the　burglar；　with

a　dark　frown。　　〃It's　the　same　old　story。　　Your　innocence

and　childish　insouciance　is　going　to　lead　me　back　into

an　honest　life。　　Every　time　I　crack　a　crib　where　there's

a　kid　around；　it　happens。〃



〃Would　you　mind　gazing　with　wolfish　eyes　at　the　plate

of　cold　beef　that　the　butler　has　left　on　the　dining　table？〃

said　Tommy。　　〃I'm　afraid　it's　growing　late。〃



The　burglar　accommodated。



〃Poor　man；〃　said　Tommy。　　〃You　must　be　hungry。

If　you　will　please　stand　in　a　listless　attitude　I　will　get　you

something　to　eat。〃



The　boy　brought　a　roast　chicken；　a　jar　of　marmalade

and　a　bottle　of　wine　from　the　pantry。　　The　burglar

seized　a　knife　and　fork　sullenly。



〃It's　only　been　an　hour；〃　he　grumbled；　〃since　I　had　a

lobster　and　a　pint　of　musty　ale　up　on　Broadway。　　I　wish

these　story　writers　would　let　a　fellow　have　a　pepsin　tablet；

anyhow；　between　feeds。〃



〃My　papa　writes　books；〃　remarked　Tommy。



The　burglar　jumped　to　his　feet　quickly。



〃You　said　he　had　gone　to　the　opera；〃　he　hissed；　hoarsely

and　with　immediate　suspicion。



〃I　ought　to　have　explained；〃　said　Tommy。　　〃He

didn't　buy　the　tickets。〃　　The　burglar　sat　again　and　toyed

with　the　wishbone。



〃Why　do　you　burgle　houses？〃　　asked　the　boy；

wonderingly。



〃Because；〃　replied　the　burglar；　with　a　sudden　flow　of

tears。　　〃God　bless　my　little　brown…baired　boy　Bessie

at　home。〃



〃Ah；〃　said　Tommy；　wrinkling　his　nose；　〃you　got　that

answer　in　the　wrong　place。　　You　want　to　tell　your　hard…

luck　story　before　you　pull　out　the　child　stop。〃



〃Oh；　yes；〃　said　the　burglar；　〃I　forgot。　　Well；　once

I　lived　in　Milwaukee；　and　　〃



〃Take　the　silver；〃　said　Tommy；　rising　from　his　chair。



〃Hold　on；〃　said　the　burglar。　　〃But　I　moved　away。〃

I　could　find　no　other　employment。　　For　a　while　I　man…

aged　to　support　my　wife　and　child　by　passing　confederate

money；　but；　alas！　　I　was　forced　to　give　that　up　because　it

did　not　belong　to　the　union。　　I　became　desperate　and　a

burglar。〃



〃Have　you　ever　fallen　into　the　hands　of　the　police？〃

asked　Tommy。



〃I　said　'burglar；'　not　'beggar；'〃　answered　the

cracksman。



〃After　you　finish　your　lunch；〃　said　Tommy；　〃and

experience　the　usual　change　Of　heart；　how　shall　we　wind

up　the　story？〃



〃Suppose；〃　said　the　burglar；　thoughtfully；　〃that　Tony

Pastor　turns　out　earlier　than　usual　to…night；　and　your

father　gets　in　from　'Parsifal'　at　10。30。　　I　am　thoroughly

repentant　because　you　have　made　me　think　of　my　own

little　boy　Bessie；　and　　〃



〃Say；〃　said　Tommy；　〃haven't　you　got　that　wrong？〃



〃Not　on　your　coloured　crayon　drawings　by　B。　Cory

Kilvert；〃　said　the　burglar。　　〃It's　always　a　Bessie　that

I　have　at　home；　artlessly　prattling　to　the　pale…checked

burglar's　bride。　　As　I　was　saying；　your　father　opens　the

front　door　just　as　I　am　departing　with　admonitions　and

sandwiches　that　you　have　wrapped　up　for　me。　　Upon

recognizing　me　as　an　old　Harvard　classmate　he　starts

back　in　　〃



〃Not　in　surprise？〃　　interrupted　Tommy；　with　wide；

open　eyes。



〃He　starts　back　in　the　doorway；〃　continued　the　burglar。

And　then　he　rose　to　his　feet　and　began　to　shout　〃Rah；

rah；　rah！　　rah；　rah；　rah！　　rah；　rah；　rah！〃



〃Well；〃　said　Tommy；　wonderingly；　〃that's；　the　first

time　I　ever　knew　a　burglar　to　give　a　college　yell　when　he

was　burglarizing　a　house；　even　in　a　story。〃



〃That's　one　on　you；〃　said　the　burglar；　with　a　laugh。

〃I　was　practising　the　dramatization。　　If　this　is　put　on

the　stage　that　college　touch　is　about　the　only　thing　that

will　make　it　go。〃



Tommy　looked　his　admiration。



〃You're　on；　all　right；〃　he　said。



〃And　there's　another　mistalze　you've　made；〃　said　the

burglar。　　〃You　should　have　gone　some　time　ago　and

brought　me　the　9　gold　piece　your　mother　gave　you　on

your　birthday　to　take　to　Bessie。〃



〃But　she　didn't　give　it　to　me　to　take　to　Bessie；〃　said

Tommy；　pouting。



〃Come；　come！〃　　said　the　burglar；　sternly。　　〃It's　not

nice　of　you　to　take　advantage　because　the　story　contains

an　ambiguous　sentence。　　You　know　what　I　mean。　　It's

mighty　little　I　get　out　of　these　fictional　jobs；　anyhow。　　I

lose　all　the　loot；　and　I　have　to　reform　every　time；　and　all

the　swag　I'm　allowed　is　the　blamed　little　fol…de…rols　and

luck…pieces　that　you　kids　hand　over。　　Why；　in　one　story；

all　I　got　was　a　kiss　from　a　little　girl　who　came　in　on　me

when　I　was　opening　a　safe。　　And　it　tasted　of　molasses

candy；　too。　　I've　a　good　notion　to　tie　this　table　cover

over　your　head　and　keep　on　into　the　silver…closet。〃



〃Oh；　no；　you　haven't；〃　said　Tommy；　wrapping　his

arms　around　his　knees。　　〃Because　if　you　did　no　editor

would　buy　the　story。　　You　know　you've　got　to　preserve

the　unities。〃



〃So've　you；〃　said　the　burglar；　rather　glumly。

〃Instead　of　sitting　here　talking　impudence　and　taking　the

bread　out　of　a　poor　man's　mouth；　what　you'd　like　to　be

doing　is　hiding　under　the　bed　and　screeching　at　the　top

of　your　voice。〃



〃You're　right；　old　man；〃　said　Tommy；　heartily。　　〃I

wonder　what　they　make　us　do　it　for？　　I　think　the

S。　P。　C。　C。　ought　to　interfere。　　I'm　sure　it's　neither

agreeable　nor　usual　for　a　kid　of　my　age　to　butt　in　when　a

full…grown　burglar　is　at　work　and　offer　him　a　red　sled　and

a　pair　of　skates　not　to　awaken　his　sick　mother。　　And　look

how　they　make　the　burglars　act！　　You'd　think　editors

would　know　　but　what's　the　use？〃



The　burglar　wiped　his　hands　on　the　tablecloth　and

arose　with　a　yawn。



〃Well；　let's　get　through　with　it；〃　he　said。　　〃God

bless　you；　my　little　boy！　　you　have　saved　a　man　from

committing　a　crime　this　night。　　Bessie　shall　pray　for　you

as　soon　as　I　get　home　and　give　her　her　orders。　　I　shall

never　burglarize　another　house　　at　least　not　until　the

June　magazines　are　out。　　It'll　be　your　little　sister's　turn

then　to　run　in　on　me　while　I　am　abstracting　the　U。　S。　4

per　cent。　from　the　tea　urn　and　buy　me　off　with　her　coral

necklace　and　a　falsetto　kiss。〃



〃You　haven't　got　all　the　kicks　coming　to　you；〃　sighed

Tommy；　crawling　out　of　his　chair。　　〃Think　of　the　sleep

I'm　losing。　　But　it's　tough　on　both　of　us；　old　man。　　I　wish

you　could　get　out　of　the　story　and　really　rob　somebody。

Maybe　you'll　have　the　chance　if　they　dramatize　us。〃



〃Never！〃　　said　the　burglar；　gloomily。　　〃Between　the

box　office　and　my　better　impulses　that　your　leading　juven…

iles　are　supposed　to　awaken　and　the　magazines　that　pay

on　publication；　I　guess　I'll　always　be　broke。〃



〃I'm　sorry；〃　said　Tommy；　sympathetically。　　〃But　I

can't　help　myself　any　more　than　you　can。　　It's　one　of　the

canons　of　household　fiction　that　no　burglar　shall　be　suc…

cessful。　　The　burglar　must　be　foiled　by　a　kid　like　me；　or…

by　a　young　lady　heroine；　or　at　the　last　moment　by　his　old

pal；　Red　Mike；　who　recognizes　the　house　as　one　in　which

he　used　to　be　the　coachman。　　You　have　got　the　worst

end　of　it　in　any　kind　of　a　story。〃



〃Well；　I　suppose　I　must　be　clearing　out　now；〃　said

the　burglar；　taking　up　his　lantern　and　bracebit。



〃You　have　to　take　the　rest　of　this　chicken　and　the

bottle　of　wine　with　you　for　Bessie　and　her　mother；〃　said

Tommy；　calmly。



〃But　confound　it；〃　exclaimed　the　burglar；　in　an　annoyed

tone；　〃they　don't　want　it。　　I've　got　five　cases　of　Chateau

de　Beychsvelle　at　home　that　was　bottled　in　1853。　　That

claret　of　yours　is　corked。　　And　you　couldn't　get　either

of　them　to　look　at　a　chicken　unless　it　was　stewed　in

champagne。　　You　know；　after　I　get　out　of　the　story　I

don't　have　so　many　limitations。　　I　make　a　turn　now　and

then。〃



〃Yes；　but　you　must　take　them；〃　said　Tommy；　loading

his　arms　with　the　b