whirligigs-第34节

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from　the　presses。　　Giuseppi；　with　the　cunning　of　his　ilk；

philandered　on　the　opposite　comer；　leaving　his　patrons

to　help　themselves；　no　doubt　on　a　theory　related　to　the

hypothesis　of　the　watched　pot。



This　particular　newspaper　was；　according　to　its　custom

and　design；　an　educator；　a　guide；　a　monitor；　a　champion

and　a　household　counsellor　and　vade　mecum。



From　its　many　excellencies　might　be　selected　three

editorials。　　One　was　in　simple　and　chaste　but　illuminat…

ing　language　directed　to　parents　and　teachers；　depreca…

ting　corporal　punishment　for　children。



Another　was　an　accusive　and　significant　warning

addressed　to　a　notorious　labour　leader　who　was　on　the

point　of　instigating　his　clients　to　a　troublesome　strike。



The　third　was　an　eloquent　demand　that　the　police

force　be　sustained　and　aided　in　everything　that　tended

to　increase　its　efficiency　as　public　guardians　and　servants。



Besides　these　more　important　chidings　and　requisitions

upon　the　store　of　good　citizenship　was　a　wise　prescription

or　form　of　procedure　laid　out　by　the　editor　of　the　heart…

to…heart　column　in　the　specific　case　of　a　young　man　who

had　complained　of　the　obduracy　of　his　lady　love；　teaching

him　how　he　might　win　her。



Again；　there　was；　on　the　beauty　page；　a　complete

answer　to　a　young　lady　inquirer　who　desired　admonition

toward　the　securing　of　bright　eyes；　rosy　cheeks　and　a

beautiful　countenance。



One　other　item　requiring　special　cognizance　was　a

brief　〃personal；〃　running　thus：



DEAR　JACK：　　Forgive　me。　　You　were　right。　　Meet　me

comer　Madison　and　…th　at　8。30　this　morning。　　We

leave　at　noon。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　PENITENT。



At　8　o'clock　a　young　man　with　a　haggard　look　and　the

feverish　gleam　of　unrest　in　his　eye　dropped　a　penny　and

picked　up　the　top　paper　as　he　passed　Giuseppi's　stand。

A　sleepless　night　had　left　him　a　late　riser。　　There　was

an　office　to　be　reached　by　nine；　and　a　shave　and　a　hasty

cup　of　coffee　to　be　crowded　into　the　interval。



He　visited　his　barber　shop　and　then　hurried　on　his

way。　　He　pocketed　his　paper；　meditating　a　belated

perusal　of　it　at　the　luncheon　hour。　　At　the　next　corner

it　fell　from　his　pocket；　carrying　with　it　his　pair　of　new

gloves。　　Three　blocks　he　walked；　missed　the　gloves　and

turned　back　fuming。



Just　on　the　half…hour　he　reached　the　corner　where

lay　the　gloves　and　the　paper。　　But　he　strangely　ignored

that　which　he　had　come　to　seek。　　He　was　holding

two　little　hands　as　tightly　as　ever　he　could　and　looking

into　two　penitent　brown　eyes；　while　joy　rioted　in　his

heart。



〃Dear　Jack；〃　she　said；　〃I　knew　you　would　be　here

on　time。〃



〃I　wonder　what　she　means　by　that；〃　he　was　saying

to　himself；　〃but　it's　all　right；　it's　all　right。〃



A　big　wind　puffed　out　of　the　west；　picked　up　the　paper

from　the　sidewalk；　opened　it　out　and　sent　it　flying　and

whirling　down　a　side　street。　　Up　that　street　was　driving

a　skittish　bay　to　a　spider…wheel　buggy；　the　young　man

who　had　written　to　the　heart…to…heart　editor　for　a　recipe

that　he　might　win　her　for　whom　he　sighed。



The　wind；　with　a　prankish　flurry；　flapped　the　flying

newspaper　against　the　face　of　the　skittish　bay。　　There

was　a　lengthened　streak　of　bay　mingled　with　the　red　of

running　gear　that　stretched　itself　out　for　four　blocks。

Then　a　water…hydrant　played　its　part　in　the　cosmogony；

the　buggy　became　matchwood　as　foreordained；　and　the

driver　rested　very　quietly　where　he　had　been　flung　on　the

asphalt　in　front　of　a　certain　brownstone　mansion。



They　came　out　and　had　him　inside　very　promptly。　　And

there　was　one　who　made　herself　a　pillow　for　his　head；

and　cared　for　no　curious　eyes；　bending　over　and　saying；

〃Oh；　it　was　you；　it　was　you　all　the　time；　Bobby！　　Couldn't

you　see　it？　　And　if　you　die；　why；　so　must　I；　and　　〃



But　in　all　this　wind　we　must　hurry　to　keep　in　touch

with　our　paper。



Policeman　O'Brine　arrested　it　as　a　character　dangerous

to　traffic。　　Straightening　its　dishevelled　leaves　with　his

big；　slow　fingers；　he　stood　a　few　feet　from　the　family

entrance　of　the　Shandon　Bells　Caf？　　One　headline　he

spelled　out　ponderously：　〃The　Papers　to　the　Front　in　a

Move　to　Help　the　Police。〃



But；　whisht！　　The　voice　of　Danny；　the　head　bartender；

through　the　crack　of　the　door：　〃Here's　a　nip　for　ye；　Mike；

ould　man。〃



Behind　the　widespread；　amicable　columns　of　the　press

Policeman　O'Brine　receives　swiftly　his　nip　of　the　real

stuff。　　He　moves　away；　stalwart；　refreshed；　fortified；

to　his　duties。　　Might　not　the　editor　man　view　with　pride

the　early；　the　spiritual；　the　literal　fruit　that　had　blessed

his　labours。



Policeman　O'Brine　folded　the　paper　and　poked　it

playfully　under　the　arm　of　a　small　boy　that　was　passing。

That　boy　was　named　Johnny；　and　he　took　the　paper

home　with　him。　　His　sister　was　named　Gladys；　and

she　had　written　to　the　beauty　editor　of　the　paper　asking

for　the　practicable　touchstone　of　beauty。　　That　was

weeks　ago；　and　she　had　ceased　to　look　for　an　answer。

Gladys　was　a　pale　girl；　with　dull　eyes　and　a　discontented

expression。　　She　was　dressing　to　go　up　to　the　avenue　to

get　some　braid。　　Beneath　her　skirt　she　pinned　two　leaves

of　the　paper　Johnny　had　brought。　　When　she　walked　the

rustling　sound　was　an　exact　imitation　of　the　real　thing。



On　the　street　she　met　the　Brown　girl　from　the　flat

below　and　stopped　to　talk。　　The　Brown　girl　turned　green。

Only　silk　at　5　a　yard　could　make　the　sound　that　she

heard　when　Gladys　moved。　　The　Brown　girl；　consumed

by　jealousy；　said　something　spiteful　and　went　her　way；

with　pinched　lips。



Gladys　proceeded　toward　the　avenue。　　Her　eyes　now

sparkled　like　jagerfonteins。　　A　rosy　bloom　visited　her

cheeks；　a　triumphant；　subtle；　vivifying；　smile　transfigured

her　face。　　She　was　beautiful。　　Could　the　beauty　editor

have　seen　her　then！　　There　was　something　in　her　answer

in　the　paper；　I　believe；　about　cultivating　kind　feelings

toward　others　in　order　to　make　plain　features　attractive。



The　labour　leader　against　whom　the　paper's　solemn

and　weighty　editorial　injunction　was　laid　was　the　father

of　Gladys　and　Johnny。　　He　picked　up　the　remains　of

the　journal　from　which　Gladys　had　ravished　a　cosmetic

of　silken　sounds。　　The　editorial　did　not　come　under　his

eye；　but　instead　it　was　greeted　by　one　of　those　ingenious

and　specious　puzzle　problems　that　enthrall　alike　the

simpleton　and　the　sage。



The　labour　leader　tore　off　half　of　the　page；　provided

himself　with　table；　pencil　and　paper　and　glued　himself

to　his　puzzle。



Three　hours　later；　after　waiting　vainly　for　him　at　the

appointed　place；　other　more　conservative　leaders　declared

and　ruled　in　favour　of　arbitration；　and　the　strike　with　its

attendant　dangers　was　averted。　　Subsequent　editions

of　the　paper　referred；　in　coloured　inks；　to　the　clarion　tone

of　its　successful　denunciation　of　the　labour　leader's

intended　designs。



The　remaining　leaves　of　the　active　journal　also　went

loyally　to　the　proving　of　its　potency。



When　Johnny　returned　from　school　he　sought　a　secluded

spot　and　removed　the　missing　columns　from　the　inside　of

his　clothing；　where　they　had　been　artfully　distributed　so　as

to　successfully　defend　such　areas　as　are　generally　attacked

during　scholastic　castigations。　　Johnny　attended　a　private

school　and　had　had　trouble　with　his　teacher。　　As　has

been　said；　there　was　an　excellent　editorial　against　corporal

punishment　in　that　morning's　issue；　and　no　doubt　it　had

its　effect。



After　this　can　any　one　doubt　the　power　of　the　press？







　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　TOMMY'S　BURGLAR

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

AT　TEN　o'clock　P。　M。　Felicia；　the　maid；　left　by　the

basement　door　with　the　policeman　to　get　a　raspberry

phosphate　around　the　corner。　　She　detested　the　police…

man　and　objected　earnestly　to　the　arrangement。　　She

pointed　out；　not　unreasonably；　that　she　might　have　been

allowed　to　fall　asleep　over　one　of　St。　George　Rathbone's

novels　on　the　third　floor；　but　she　was　overruled。　　Rasp…

berries　and　cops　were　not　created　for　nothing。



The　burglar　got　into　the　house　without　much　difficulty；

because　we　must　have　action　and　not　too　much　descrip…

tion　in　a　2；000…word　story。



In　the　dining　room　he　opened　the　slide　of　his　dark

lantern。　　With　a　brace　and　centrebit　he　began　to　bore

into　the　lock　of　the　silver…closet。



Suddenly　a　click　was　heard。　　The　room　was　flooded

with　electric　light。　　The　dark　velvet　porti鑢es　parted　to

admit　a　fair…haired　boy　of　eight　in　pink　pajamas；　bearing

a　bottle　of　olive　oil　in　his　hand。



〃Are　you　a　burglar？〃　　he　asked；　in　a　sweet；　childish

voice。



〃Listen　to　that；〃　exclaimed　the　man；　in　a　hoarse　voice。

〃Am　I　a　burglar？　　Wot　do　you　suppose　I　have　a　three…

days'　growth　of　bristly　bread　on　my　face　for；　and　a　cap

with　flaps？　　Give　me　the　oil；　quick；　and　let　me　grease

the　bit；　so　I　won't　wake　up　your　mamma；　who　is　lying

down　with　a　headache；　and　left